By Arcassin Burnham

Pushing the barricades, making these new moves,
Why do have to share my glory with false hoping attention grabbing
glory seeking egotistical *******,
God says you better love your mother,
At least that what he said before she told i ruined everything,
I wasn't supposed to be born according to what she says,
A young man could only take so much , when the problems ain't harsh,
And your souls not gone, and went ghost for a whole year just to prove a
point,
Don't have time for ******* and such, when your life is at peace,
Eat , sleep and ****, and the days don't matter when have common
sense , ***** get to the point!
If I haven't woken up , I will,
If I haven't woken up , I will.

I love how you hold on to me
To my clothes rather
Like I'm your only hope
Like I'm all you've got

I love how you follow me
Through the room with your eyes
As if you don't want to let me go
As if you want to go with me

I love how you loop around
To find where I'm at
When all you were doing in my arms
Was wail and wiggle

I love how you laugh at me
When you are on another's arms
As if admitting how you enjoy
Playing games with me

I love how look at me
Before you make a decision
As if looking for approval
Showing you value my opinion

I love how you reach out for my plate
As if you're interested in my meal
But you're only jealous
Of the attention I'm giving my food

when consumed with the torturous thought of growing old and just
wanting to end it now
is when i truly feel the most
clinical.
depression
the crux of the matter i’m just
recovering from past lives i cannot imagine
grey days are days i wish eternal death on myself
all of me, my entire soul, body, thought, potential, existence
gone.

Its the worst feeling right in the lowest pit of my stomach missing you like this. Too many days pass without you, but my mind is engulfed by you, every moment of every day. The eternal void I constantly dread, that one that longing commands. Dates pencilled in when you come to town seem so far away, yet move ever closer and each day is more tangible than the last but so much further than the next. Our time is fleeting yet all encompassing but one blink and its gone. I wish tonight you were here next to me, just like I imagine every night. A cuddle, a kiss, a smile as we drift off to sleep. Internal landscapes we walk together. And upon waking in the glint of dawns first light, we share the day's first kiss. Fingers wander, tantalized by our warm flesh and pull each other close, hold on tightly never wanting to let go. And maybe I'll hold on too tightly and not let go. But that time will make itself known, when our bodies have to let go. I'll have to let you go again. I'll wait for the days to pass, moments which turn to hours, hours to days, days to weeks. So slowly they will pass. But my heart will beat just a little faster, a little stronger when I hear your voice and I know it won't be long S, until we can be together again.

on somedays

poetry speaks to me

maybe
those are
the days
where emotions
lie highest within me.

on other days

I try to read
appreciate some
find an inspiration.

importantly find the key
the main thing is to find him finally
very important very necessary very
it is important as usual to find
this key you need to find it

but there were days and the wind was coming
and the keys were whether I had
I always went and went but from this
I just froze and stopped now
I can not walk anymore

I'm looking for an answer that used to be
I still have answers that used to be
who used to be with me I'm looking for answers
answers to noisy noisy wind
to the noisy noisy wind outside the window key

25.09.18