Awake i found the languages have changed in my sleep
The sequence of words is lost and so is my power to will

People talk strange but sill imitate their creator
Behaviour is predictable when you're attached to a prayer

Obey my ageless tongue

I dare question my presence in this dimension
With one intention
An ancient practice and an encounter
The timelessness of magic shall bring back my willpower

The symbols are drawn
The words are assembled
At the crack of dawn
I shall have my answers




Words Of Harfouchism

I see so clearly now
That I've had some time
Living in a separate realm
Somewhere I cannot find

Do not know where your mind is at
Only focus on one thing most of the day
Where do your thoughts go when you're well?
When you're high and your problems drift away?

I long to know where your heart goes
Often it runs somewhere far
It's there more than here with me
Some distant planet or star

To follow is my desire
Where my hands can reach
With not just physically
Aim to practice what I preach

The way you turn emotions off
Only a moment of dissent
Has me hiding so maybe you won't see
A thick yet transparent loosely guarded discontent

Cried many tears for you
Added up and washed my sight
Point of view began to change
Presently I realize that it wasn't right

The way life lived day-to-day
May not have noticed back then
Should have noticed a lot sooner
Of your flaws
It was easier to pretend

Well guess I should regret that now
A few years down the road I will
Hard to explain
Despite all the games
Do it all again for you still

You and I have something unique
Heart has never felt love this strong
Blind I may have been when we met
Still feel your arms are where I belong

To say I love is an understatement
Blame cupid
Making me fall
Maybe Aphrodite
Or St. Valentine
Has me heeding to your every call

Maybe it is the universe
Pushing us close with an invisible force
No cause for my attraction to you
Guess destiny is just running its course

Your behavior proves to be unchanging
Lose more you each day we make it through
More than 1/2 of your presence
Need to have all of you

Time is a powerful thing,
It tells who we're gonna meet.
But it's our behavior that defines,
How long they're gonna stay.

We must not forget,
The path which here lead,
All the thorne on the bed,
And all the wishes which are dead.

We must not forget the suffering on the way,
Or to encourage you what people used to say
Also not to forget people on the way, who betray.

We must not forget all the learning and experience.
With all the success some of the failure.
That made a big change to our behavior.

I'm trying to learn that it's alright for people to find me
strange.

So often I am met with remarks of:

"I wish I could be as confident as you."
"I can't believe you're not scared to wear that."
"You didn't really say that to him...right?"

I don't feel confident.
I am scared.
I did say it.

I've regretted it since.

Oddities are a novelty until they surpass an acceptable monthly quota.

However,

I've found that habitual marijuana usage and
pretty white lines
can be a valid excuse for
strange behavior.

Each joint shared
Each liquor bottle opened
Increases the monthly quota by one.

You're allowed to be:

"Off."
"Eccentric."
"Weird."

If you're a substance abuser.

It's actually
expected
at times.

If I act too normal, I'll get
comments,
such as:

"Wow, I forgot you do drugs."
"Do you not need your meds anymore?"
"Have you thought your mania is just from all the ***?"

I didn't forget.
I do need them. I often don't take them.
And, sometimes.

But then I'll soberly proclaim to be the next Van Gogh and that my **** are nicer than
Mia Khalifa's.

(They're not.)

Regardless,
you can write off absurd behavior
if it occurs while
intoxicated.

I learned that younger
than I
should've.

It's harder to refute the confused glances
whispered jokes
when your head is
clear
but your
heart
is foggy.

"Let us know if [  ] scares you in the group chat;
you'll get used to her eventually."

"I hope we don't have to have this conversation again."

"She's hot, but she's kind of
crazy."

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's said
Behavior is learned
Especially thru close association

This explains why
My cellphone is also depressed