In the absence of a longer night and of ideal fertility, I devoured fists of poetry like that desperate one who seeks to satisfy his hunger after having been away a long time, even from himself,
I did not know where I had gotten so much in the pocket of memory and heart,
sometimes not all is lost and one realizes that there is always more space to continue learning,
keep the appetite is important

Sometimes my stomach empties
And it feels like I
Could consume the sky
With a single breath of air

But when I see my peers
And their success
How quickly I forget
Every win and concurred fear

The hunger is an eternal thing
With an observation to see
But the memory of what ere I've won
Ought to be enough for me

loss of appetite
this wine in my mouth tastes salty
a grape of your tears

Though, I' m full
Let me taste your soul

Will you?

I'm beginning to see my brittle bones make an appearance through my fragile skin.
I can see the curvature of my bones and where the connections begin.
I fear that the lack of my appetite will soon turn me dry of food and water.
And my mind and body will begin to weaken and  my perception will alter.
I numbingly watch the vultures circle around me under bright lights.
I want to cry as I listen to them say they loved me with all their might.
And they'll want to know how could I have possibly done such a thing.
Not realizing my lonely sessions consisted of my disorder to binge.
I can not chew without getting the sickening feeling of nausea.
I'd plainly just rather not eat until I pass out into euphoria.
Wake up sick once again, and the cycle repeats.
I lay weak in bed wondering when my disorder will put me into defeat.
I believe that is my goal, to torture myself in the ways that I can so I can go away.
Vulnerable in front of a mirror, wishing I can be put into the earth to lay.
I am weathering away, day by day, night by night, tracing the bones of my rib cage.
I can't eat, it will all come back up in a violent rage.
The growing pain residing in my stomach hurts.
But if it promises me death, I want to stay in this desert.

Oh how conveniently I often fail,
But not that my arms I do not flail.
Neither that soldier spirit ebbs away,
Nor this fighting spirit will ever sway.

What is wrong with my health,
Why all my systems get derailed.
Have I not lost so much of wealth,
How I avoid this approaching death.