leave me in my chaos, won't you?
these cries for help are just empty echoes, isn't it?
ignore my tears as they fall, would you?
leave me alone when my body collapses onto the pavement.
isn't this what you wanted?
the sight of my bleeding knees fills you with joy, doesn't it?
and when i cry, you blame it on the chemical imbalance in my brain, isn't that right?
i only ask for you to kneel beside me
maybe even put a band-aid on or two,
so maybe i would stop bleeding and crying for you.
so maybe i could just breathe,
and walk straight for just a few seconds.
so maybe the taste of your lips
can make me forget the taste of my blood.
But telling you that is too much for you, isn't it?
we are one, and then we are two.
and so i sit here in tears
clutching onto my phone
constantly going back and forth between apps
seeing how you are silent with me
but alive to everyone else.
and im left here to wonder
if me trying to do the simplest things to show i love you
is even enough to let me see your heart
but only these **** tears
that must have already turned my body
into a raging ocean
washes away the bitterness that i gain
and i force myself to smile
to say im sorry
to be the one to message you first
and try to have conversations
to be the only one feeling horrible
about speaking my feelings
just to prevent your tears
to contaminate my overflowing water
my heart ******* hurts.
but you ignore that, just like the messages.
i just want to love you. why do you have to treat me this way?
losing your heart
to someone else
is like losing your virginity
once you do it
you can't go back
you'll never be the same.
so why is it that
when i fell in love
with a pixel screen
the other side of the world
did i not feel pain?
why did it feel
as if nothing happened
that we did not
or say i love you
or make love
late into the night
why does it all just feel like
these memories were set in some kind of
that begs the question...
did i really love you?
or did i just fall out of
this lonesome feeling?
Only if these
Wielding clocks could stop
Killed myself years ago
Evening filled of sorrow
Take it anymore
Now I can
Only open my eyelids
Grave is found
The tears wash away yesterday
Of when I
Slit my throat
Like if I was just snipping paper
Effectively cutting my artery
Eventually falling to a
Paralyzing feeling, lead into dark
thats how i like it
i wish you coul(d) gauge my eyes (o)ut
and peek ins(i)de the hollow walls
dripping with red pain(t)
please look closer
My monsters mate then they duplicate
I offer contraception; but it's too late.
They wish to reproduce, I only wish they'd reduce,
and it would be truly perfection if we could call a truce.
And my demons dance, what a sweet romance,
I turn off the music but they move to chants.
They wish to cause a stir, but I would prefer
if they wouldn't abuse it; it's meant to deter.
Play a song and put on a show,
they wish to belong but I want them to go.
There's no escape, there's no debating
that they're in great shape and the monsters are mating.
My monsters mate after their date,
I provide protection but they won't take the bait.
They crave sweet intimacy, just like me,
but the affection is laced with toxicity.
And my demons dance almost in a trance,
now I'm going deaf from my own rants.
They wish to cause a scene and I'm not too keen,
turn right cause on the left the grass could always be more green.
They sway to a loving bloom,
and they're banging hard in my head.
So I tell them to just get a room
and they say I should go to bed.
Play a song and put on a show,
their love might be wrong but atleast it creates a glow.
There's no end in sight and my nerves are grating,
day always turns to night and the monsters are mating.
of the bed
sweet silence grows.