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Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Caught a few tears before they hit the ground
I sit and let them fall from my eyes
Soon face will be red, lids puffy like clouds
They remain that way after each drop dries.

I am attached to the habits that hurt me
Falling in love, sight of blood, and drugs to name a few
Darkness regardless of outside forces constantly stalks
Got caught in its mystery, it knocked my life askew.

I do not think it will leave my side
It follows, a second shadow
Growing used to this presence filling days
I no longer fight or resist my unyielding foe.

Even in empty misery
I find comfort in knowing whatever the amount
It is the only constant I can rely on in this bitter world
Lived with lonely despair too long to count.

Words are pouring out of my eyes
No life, no sound, can reach voice
Love and pain keep trickling down my face
Anguish I'm feeling didn't come by choice.
Why would I want to be unhappy?
Acina Joy Jun 2018
i do still care over what they think;
what the demons seem to say
and what my friends seem to say,
and it pains me to even say,
that I do still care.

because when i turn to myself for comfort,
Even I’m not there.
Yeah
Acina Joy Jun 2018
And I told him, Ivan, don’t shout.
And he did, and he couldn’t hear me;
he was too busy, leaning over the edge,
teetering on the point of immortality—
on the edge, on the edge, on the edge.
He’s still there.

Then, is it okay to cry enough?
Isn’t it okay to keep helping him?
Or am I too stupid to believe—
“Ivan, please stay. Please don’t go”—
that he would stay, even after I’m gone?

Because, I still cried, even when I left him first.
Because I didn’t want to stay to see him leave me,
and is love okay this way?
Is this what love for me supposed to be?
Am I really that naive to have believed its lies?

I left. But I can’t help but feel that I’m the one who lied.
Don’t ask who Ivan is
Every feeling drawn from so much depth,
That I have to learn to embrace the deep,
The blackness of the pit with no echo,
The unreachable place from which they creep.

I’ve not been privileged to love shallowly,
Nor unrequited love not quench my soul,
Nor experience of fleeting sadness,
But to love my dark and bottomless hole.

Shall I be better off without darkness?
Feeling love as strong as jealous anguish?
Shall I pray to never feel crushing hurt?
So loving shall be an incomplete wish?

How often rejection brought me despair!
Oh to be hopeful as my hopelessness!
The deep emptiness that ***** down my pain,
Is the same depth from which I can’t love less.

Emptiness do not fill up with healing!
That dark abyss is my space for feeling.
https://store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
melanie Jun 2018
I am an afterthought
A second hand emotion
A distant memory that is just out of reach and leaves you vacant

I am the second lover who can never live up to the the first
A lukewarm cup of coffee that you'll drink but never enjoy

I am chipped in the major places of my heart
But you keep coming back to see if you can fix me

Yet neither of us enjoy my anguish
Madara H Jun 2018
There was a little moment I had just the other day,
When I felt really low and wanted to disappear,
When I was sprawled across my bed and felt every ounce of pain and anguish,
And thought about how it could all be gone, how If I wanted, I could just erase myself from the world,
And the little cogs in my brain that were currently turning,
And generating a presence would just stop forever,
And I dreamed of it and felt it and with that fell asleep,
And I was gone, momentarily because for that moment sleep symbolised so much more than just resting and waking up,
And when I woke up those cogs started turning slowly and I was back again,
But that moment, the dream, the feeling and the desire stayed with me,
And I always go back to that moment.
Stagger Lee May 2018
Love is is the epitome of pataphysical self deception,
disdained and rotting from the inside out,
strained crys from the shepherds dying son,
lost souls of chronological madness laugh in the guise of strange fruit,
bearing witness to the tearing flesh of mothers scorned,
sacrilegious harmony whimpering in the cold death,
returning to the land where the Pharaoh died,
eyes whipped shut,
eternally salvaged souls from self cannibalization,
the end of living, our suffocated light.
Wordforged Fool May 2018
**** my hopes and dreams
Empty my heart and fill the void with screams
Lie to me more about what the reason was to leave me
Save the trouble and hold your story
Everything you said was fiction
Yet you hold me accountable for the tragic conviction

Cut out my heart, I never needed it
Lay to waste my love, make it forfeit
Accuse me to cover your tracks
Rip the trust I had for you and show me your soul turned black
Enjoy your new toy, whom I'm sure you'll eventually leave too

Open your trap again to cage another inside
Bring him down for your ride
Reveal to him who you really are
Insist to lie and etch into another this terrible scar
Aim for his happiness as you did to me
Never to satisfy and never to be happy
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