I remember the first time I lost my mind
That rush, that euphoria, that emptiness that came soon after like death was on the sidelines knowing the end was coming before I even had the whole experience.
I remember that first touch every once in a while
Our fingers intertwined, soft touches with that hint of nervousness, and we exchanged them shy smiles
I remember the first kiss
Thinking I would feel fireworks was juvenile but there was something that I couldn’t place
There was a rush of something, adrenaline maybe, just this unfamiliar taste
But that could’ve been because we were standing on the edge of a precipice, a little bit too steep, waiting to see who would jump first and while you whispered not me, I went ahead and took the leap.
I remember the conversations,
You, a caring, intellectual which spurred my heart in the right direction
Me, sheltered and reeking with a vulnerability way past its expiration
We talked for hours
Heavy discussions about loves and fears and a future that was ours
I remember the first time I fell.
That rush, that euphoria, then the pain that met me at the bottom when you were supposed to catch me
It was an Alice down the rabbit hole kind of ordeal, just I only found out I was in it alone when you looked at my broken pieces from above
I suppose I owe you a thank you for reminding me why they don’t say standing but call it falling in love.
And at the end, none of our conversations fell into a category that even mattered
Apparently, my heart’s too delicate to break, like every thing else, as soon as you touched it, it shattered