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541 · Jul 2015
The Crying Earth
Goodnight,
And sleep,
Be away from the world,
That holds you here,
Away from the ones,
Who hold you dear,
For the night,
Glistens,
With the tears of heavy hearts,
And the lonely sighs,
Of lost youth,
So sleep,
Hide yourself from that,
For as long as your soul can keep,
From breaking,
Until you wake,
In the dark,
And see the crying Earth,
For what it is.
541 · Nov 2015
Remember, remember...
Remember. remember,
The fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot.

But forget we will,
For worse days still,
Overshadow the whole ****** lot.

In these modern days,
Though we're miles away,
From those old times we almost forgot.

Still hangings and lashings,
Democracies crashing,
And freedom just left there to rot.
540 · Nov 2016
Thick Air
Metal slicing the air,
Splitting the clouds around,
Into swirling streams,
That scream against the glass,
Shaking the intricacies welded,
Years before,
To within a millimetre of their breaking point,
But they hold against the unrelenting
Tide.
535 · Feb 2015
Nowhere of my own
If I could hide well enough,
Blend in with the blurred sea of unknown faces,
I would leave this place,
So full of memories,
Saturated with reminders,
I would find a way out,
To find a nowhere of my own,
And hide alone,
In a place without past,
I would build a heart to withstand the ages.

But my motionless body stands out,
As all around rush and hurry,
I live in solitude,
Feet planted firm, eyes down,
Streams of haste surround me,
But their flow does not stir my stationary presence,
So in a scene of panic, I am calm,
I am noticed,
I am forced to remain by my own fear to stay,
And my perfect nowhere,
Doesn't seem to be anywhere,
And my history is everywhere,
Wherever I search,
All I find is wall after wall,
As I try to escape my mind.

My frantic dance of repeating obstruction,
Is never seen by those around,
Because, of course, they don't really look,
They see a boy staring at his feet,
But if one person would stop and join me,
They'd realise,
I'm not staring at my feet,
I'm staring into my own eyes,
In the rain-soaked pavement,
And if they looked into them too,
They would see that I am moving,
Not standing still,
They'd see how long I tried,
And how long I failed,
And how many times I tripped up,
But still I haven't quite found,
A nowhere of my own.
534 · Oct 2014
Twice a day
A small pocket watch, keeping time,
Held in his hand, for him to rewind.
Twice a day it said, with care,
The polished metal reflects his stare.
So twice a day, without fail,
He winds it up to hear its wail.
But the wail, it comes from deep within,
As those ever-turning cogs pull his heartstrings.
And that constant ticking, by his ear,
Never fails to produce a tear.
As the sound, it echoes through his mind,
Telling him, "Now! Now is the time."
He tries to lose it, but the chain holds fast,
Pulling him tighter, towards his past.
And still he winds it, as he was told,
With trembling fingers, through the biting cold.
The dark comes closer, with each screaming tick,
And he loses focus, begins to feel sick.
He forgets one winding, takes a moment to breathe,
And the watch is grabbed from him, thrown onto the street.
To his horror, the watch falls apart,
And the chains let go of his heavy heart.
He turns, to face the cause of his release,
But they are gone, pulled by another timepiece
For a year he searches, to find his saviour,
And for a year he fails, to repay the favour.
But at last he remembers, and returns to the spot,
Where he knew there once was a great grandfather clock.
And there he sees her, chained to her despair,
As the pendulum swings back and forth, slicing her through the air.
And in a moment of madness, he attempts to stop time,
Angry at injustice, raging inside.
The pendulum falls, and she is released from its hold,
And his tiny little watch, seems a little less bold.
Then, she runs up to him, plants a kiss on his cheek,
And tells him that she loves him, as his knees grow weak.
And hand in hand they walk away, over scattered cogs and springs,
And both, now free of time's cruel chains, spread their weary wings.
I did not know
Back then
What you wanted
I watched as you
Had your mind twisted
By the things you saw
On a computer screen
Things you wanted
Me to see too
Me to do to you
But I couldn't
But I let you
Keep watching that screen
And I know
I should have stopped you
But I couldn't
I watched as you
Fell further
Deeper in the darkest
Parts of your mind
I wasn't strong enough
I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
For fear of losing
Another friend
For fear of making
Everything worse
I will always
Blame myself
For the state
You're in now
And the state
You put me in
Because I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
Risk the one constant
That kept me
From going mad
From hating myself
From hurting myself
From killing myself
But I was wrong
You were the constant
That made me
Go mad
Hate myself
Hurt myself
And try to **** myself
And yet
You are still my friend
Because I blame myself
And I have to protect you
Because I'd never
Forgive myself
If you killed yourself
And I didn't try to stop you

You
Killed
My
Childhood
But
I
Forgive
You
And
Blame
Me
To a friend who will never see this
532 · Apr 2015
Parsley
Oh Parsley, beautiful and green you are!
In you is found such wond'rous flavoured health!
If life did but allow we'd never part,
Together great and vast we'd be in wealth.
The vitamins and minerals would fill,
Our blood and keep us safe from suff'ring then,
Such joy would stay and lift our hearts - such thrill!
And hatred gone forever more amen.
Perhaps one day mankind will know as I,
Perfection grown by mortals here on Earth,
In subtle leaves of fractal form'd design,
And there made clear the reason for their birth.
For now though know that I will always care,
I wait for the day when you are ev'rywhere.
MY 1OOTH POEM OF THE DAY
531 · Mar 2017
Furniture
Wasting time with legs
Crossed on his lap
Poking fun
Work's not done
But does it really matter?
The hours stolen by
Jokes and tangents
Of politics, thoughts
And made-up words
That paint these
Undirected times
With life
530 · May 2015
Vote
Cross in the box,
Sign off your future,
Contribute your opinion,
Choose your champion,
Lesser of two, three, four evils,
Who you want?
Or who will stop who you don't want?
Can you trust any of them?
No.
But you still have to decide,
Select the victor,
Watch them fall,
Then the agreements.
And finally,
Someone takes over.
That's it.
Another five years.
Your life in the hands of another.
529 · Oct 2014
A message for the morning
My love,
I know you are gone for the night,
Bound by poor battery life,
But I won't be here at morning's light,
So I'll leave you this to make your day bright.

My love,
There is nowhere I'd rather be than with you,
When I'm away our next meeting is what gets me through,
Nothing could replace you, that's the truth,
And I dream of making more memories new.

My love,
I hope you're not worrying about me,
But I know you will, so I hope you see,
That I'm alright, as I walk lonely down the street,
Wishing round the corner you'd be.

My love,
Promise me to try and keep focused,
Whether it's differentiation or the lifespan of locusts,
Don't let my friends get to you if their words are too potent,
Just know our love means more and their attempts are hopeless.

My love,
Tell me when you see this,
And tell me when you get home,
Because that's what gets me through the night:
*Knowing I'm not alone
They speak of strong and stable
From upon the piles of bodies
Single parents, students, disabled,
All crushed beneath their buddies
Sitting comfortably at tables
Ignoring statisticians and studies
Eating enough to feed the poor for weeks.

They "help" the Just About Managing
While managing the damaging
Of every socioeconomic security
"For the good of the country" - false purity
All hints of injustice swept quickly aside
With an aside, a joke, to hide the domocide
Avert the eyes, from the resounding bell toll
As the death toll climbs, losing control

There is no war here, no battle, no fight,
Only poverty and hunger - the trophies of the right.
526 · Nov 2014
Let it last
Each moment,
Held, sustained,
Drawn out,
So I can spend more time with you.
I let it last,
Longer than I can't.
Open to interpretation, originates from a typo.
526 · Nov 2014
Old me [2]
The old me constrained,
Begging, pleading me for death,
The new me refuses
525 · Jan 2015
A Limerick of Me
A teenager, consumed by hate,
Stayed up incredibly late,
Struggling to sleep,
Though the darkness grew deep,
He convinced himself of his own fate.

His hands reached to open the pills,
As he sought to make himself ill,
But he remembered a friend,
Who prevented his end,
And in a moment he ran out of will.

Alone he decided to write,
Of how he was feeling that night,
The response he received,
Filled him with glee,
And drowned his heart in delight.

So he started to write more and more,
For longer than ever before,
He finished a book,
Immediately hooked,
Though he wasn't sure exactly what for.
523 · Mar 2015
Critical
A single word.
Switch.
Take the dark within me,
Wear it as a robe,
A regal portrayal,
Of my love of betrayal,
Of my inner desires,
To burn and make fire.

I overheard.
Fist.
Don't talk **** about me,
Without expecting this,
A physical act,
Against my past,
Destroy opposition,
Defend my position.

Reputation gone
Nothing left
**** me
Or remove my cruel thoughts
523 · Jul 2017
Blood test
Losing sight, sound, coherence,
The world shifts beneath me and I'm somewhere else,
Somewhere quiet, but deafening,
Filled with monsters longing to hug me
And I feel nothing but my legs,
Kicking, flailing against the desk,
I'm falling, in colours and pain,
And my voice is calling out without me,
Too loud, no fear, only pure panic,
As my brain loses touch with my spine,
And all I know is nothing.
In light of the fact you ******* hate me,
Please refrain from your ******* game,
You've made it clear through years of torture,
That disgust runs through your every vein.

In light of the fact you know I'm lonely,
Please stop reminding me every day,
I don't need you to show me a new path,
If it's alright with you I'll just stay.

In light of the fact I've heard your crying,
Don't think I believe your act,
I'm fully aware that you feel emotion,
I was there the day you cracked.

In light of the fact you wish I'd die,
I might decide to do just that,
Would it make you feel so much better?
If my heart's line was finally flat?

In light of the fact I'm sick of your ****,
Could you please shut the **** up?
If only you understood quite how hard it is,
To drink trust from a broken cup.

In light of the fact I've had enough,
Maybe you could leave me alone?
If you let me get on with my crumbling life,
I'll let you get on with your own.
521 · Sep 2015
Music paradox [Haiku]
With subtle fingers,
Chained to his own piano,
Set free by music.
519 · Feb 2015
The Parts of Me [2]
He was clever.

I never considered that,
He knew exactly the words to say,
And at precisely what pace.

He convinced me.

That I was normal,
By making himself seem stranger,
Than I could ever be.

He trusted me.

When he needed it,
So that I was obliged to do the same,
When he fed me with lies.

He amended me.

So that I required him,
And couldn't live alone,
Ever.

He destroyed me.

In a single forced kiss,
That I hated so much,
But couldn't bring myself to end.

He broke me.

Without a thought,
Despite claiming to be my friend,
I will never reclaim my heart.

He took me.

For his own,
For him to do with what he wished,
For however long.

I escaped.

But too late.
519 · Apr 2016
Hallway
The doors to each side,
A killer in each room,
Not a knife-wielding ******,
But a face I try to forget,
A voice I'll never forget,
The feeling of sick, sick regret,
This hallway never ends,
Behind every door,
There he is,
There he stands,
Smiling,
Waiting,
Knowing,
He knew me too well,
I'm running,
But now the doors,
Are frames for his perfect picture,
His design,
And I'm posing,
He moves my limbs,
Manipulates me,
Into his shape,
And now I'm falling,
And he's stood over me,
Smiling,
Impatient,
Sick,
sick,
sick,
no,
no,
no more.
NO!
NO MORE!
LET ME OUT!
I'm banging on the window,
But his face is my reflection,
Oh God!
NO MORE!
PLEASE!
I can't forget,
I tried to forget,
But it's just this sick, sick regret.
518 · Mar 2017
Stretched Too Far
Concepts pulling,
Fatiguing, stealing my breath
My concentration fading,
And falling off a cliff,
To end me.
518 · Oct 2016
Between Seasons
Sat here between seasons
Summer flowers withering
But autumn yet to hit
The sun's dim light slowly fades
As thicker clouds invade the sky
And my hands shake
While I start a new journal
Page one of a different life
Filled with nervous excitement
Because somewhere down the line
I will finally stop
Stop hurting
Stop hiding
Stop running
Stop lying
And start smiling
It takes time, it takes strength
It takes courage that I don't know I have
But I have to try to shake my dead leaves.
518 · Jan 2017
English Sunset
There a few things more beautiful
Than an English sunset,
As the pale yellow streaks across stone-walled fields,
Perhaps a squirrel will pop up its head
Or some bird silhouette itself amongst the sky
Before landing softly upon
A tired old oak,
One side shining as the sun's light
dips lower.
And the pale blue goes to purple,
And yellow to orange,
And ducks behind the hill across
The ancient valley - unchanged for so long.
515 · Feb 2015
My shadow
My shadow,
In the dying light of a weary day,
Reaching out ahead,
Darkening the path,
That directs my eternal journey,

The wind catches my untied hair,
Dancing in distorted strands,
The fleeting shade caressing the gravel,
That halts my footsteps,
Leading towards my unknown destiny.

The chill in the air bites,
Despite the folds of the battered leather cloak,
That kept me through storms,
Though ageing and worn,
I trust in its strength.

My life left behind,
Discounted from my mind,
Forgotten like my pained frown,
Now neutral and unfeeling,
I am stronger now.

My damaged life continues,
With the next crunch of my heavy boot,
To make my way through the dark.
513 · Oct 2014
Words undone
I am broken
I refuse to believe
That I can be fixed
I know
I am lost but
There is no way back
I can't escape
From this place which
Is lost
No more
Happiness
Because now
Hate
Not
Love
Will fill my heart with
Memories
Until all my
Words are undone

Words are undone
Until all my
Memories
Will fill my heart with
Love
Not
Hate
Because now
Happiness
No more
Is lost
From this place which
I can't escape
There is no way back
I am lost but
I know
That I can be fixed
I refuse to believe
I am broken
511 · Dec 2015
Cabinet
The minister for vitamins
(Specifically D)
Climbed down from the cabinet
To make some mint tea
To give to the patients
With their hammocks for beds
And ginger-scented ointment
For their pain-filled heads
It was then he told me
(With a smirk on his face)
That he intended to win
The next supplementary debate
With a brand-new policy
For the short and long run
That would revolutionise the industry!
Cod liver oil! For everyone!
"Of course," he whispered
"It's not a sure thing,"
"That B12 **** has got funding,"
"Supporters in Beijing!"
But still, he was confident
That his plan would suffice
After all, his mint tea and ointment
Did smell very nice.
510 · Jun 2015
It is done
Love conquers all,
As they say,
And once again,
It's gone that way,
So smile, my friends,
For on this day,
Your opinion,
Has one the sway,
The majority's yours,
And across The States,
You can all, finally,
With pride, say:
"I do"
Same-*** marriage is now permitted in all states of America - congratulations!
508 · Jun 2016
Headache
My head!
Calm down my blood!
Stop screaming, I know,
Leave me be, please,
Just go.

My eye won't stop pounding,
Oh God! Why won't you stop?
What do you want?
Will painkillers help? Another?
Why not?

Ah! No! God...I give up.
506 · Mar 2017
No bite
The air has no bite today,
It is little more than a sigh
'Gainst the skin of a lover's neck,
And her caresses' heat
Reaches below the surface,
To calm the stirring of the soul.
505 · Jan 2017
The Hiccup Is Relevant
To douse the fire,
The keys beckon,
The phone calls and
messages ask for attention.
I wait, stare, until a reply
of some other half-crazed
completely insane friend
breaks the wall and rips
my inward eyes to the screen
And of course we are both
up too late for our own good
But not for our own good anyway
So I let her distract with those
jokes and four hearts
Until I can breathe.
504 · Jun 2017
Rewrite
I've got to get out
Of a cage
That I built with me inside
I've got to take off
The cloak
That I made too big so I could hide
I've got to untie
These chains
That held me out of sight
I've got to be free
Of myself
Tonight

I've got to forget
The fear
And walk on my own feet
I've got to release
The pain
And turn from my defeat
I've got to believe
That I
Can be more than just a rewrite
I've got to be free
Of myself
Tonight
500 · Oct 2015
More than stories
There are times I wonder,
If the twisted imaginations,
I hold so dear,
Will one day be more than stories,
But then I realise,
They were real first,
But I banished them,
To live within fictional worlds,
Where they can do no more harm.
499 · Jan 2015
Decide
We don't want to choose,
Well you have no choice.
We don't want to lose,
Then which path will you take?
We just want to do what we want,
But that's not what we want.
If you think you can force us, you won't,
We have our ways.
Let us do the things we love,
But your opinion doesn't matter.
Then we'll take it to those above,
Be my guest, they'll say the same.
We are ready now,
We have always been ready,
We have worked out how,
To do what?
To choose,
Finally,
To ignore your views,
Listen to us,
This time, it's on our terms,
But our terms are better,
This time, it's our turn,
Yes, to choose your future with us,
No, to decide our own.
498 · Aug 2016
Pride II or Love Like This
Colour
Smiles
Together
All around
Surrounded
By love I never
Thought I'd find
By people who are
Somehow like me
People who get it
Eye contact is enough
To say:
"I'm with you"
"We're with you"
"You're with us"
You
How you are
On days like this
Perhaps we could do anything
Who could stop this love?
An unbelievable love
That shouldn't exist
But does anyway.
498 · Feb 2015
The Parts of Me [6]
After all this time,
I didn't think,
It was possible to move on,
And in some ways it never was,
But somehow,
The weight has been lifted,

And I can breathe again,
Without despising the air in my lungs,
Without fearing words it precedes,
Without losing sight of hope.

I am free again,
To live without a pressure on my head,
To see a rope and not think neck,
To think neck and not feel it break.

And for this I know I have one thing to thank,
Without it my fingers would be pale and buried,
Not dancing across the keyboard in front of me,
Without it I would not be hearing the music,
Blasting through my headphones,
Without it I would have forgotten happiness completely.

The internet saved my life,
But more important are the people I met,
Through writing and pressing 'send',
The people who I will never forget,
I will remember to the end,
The people who no matter what,
I trust with my heart,
The people who shared every shot,
As I bled out my veins for art.

Thank you.

You are the parts of me I will never lose.
498 · Apr 2015
Idiot
I am
What I
Am, but
I don't
Always
Want to
Be me.
Even
When I
Know I
Should be
True to
What I
Know is
Me, I
Still find
A way
To av-
-oid be-
-ing me.
In the
Simple
Hope that
Perhaps
Being
Someone
Else will
Make it
Easi-
-er to
Cope with
For me
And ev-
-ryone
Else who
Knows me.
Or rath-
-er knows
The per-
-son they
Call me.
498 · Feb 2015
The Parts of Me [5]
Finally,
Escaped,
Eternally,
Free,
But always,
Afraid,
Of remembering,
Me.

Hopelessly,
Lost,
But that's,
Okay,
I don't care,
The cost,
As long as I get,
Away.

Deadly,
Hands,
I don't need,
Anymore,
Messed up,
Plans,
I've settled my,
Scores.

I'm better now,
Yes,
I've moved on,
At last,
I wouldn't have,
Guessed,
How easily,
So fast.

My breaths are getting,
Stronger now,
My ramblings becoming,
Less jumbled,
My weary legs, however,
Will not allow,
Me to keep running once,
They've crumbled.

The weak points are slowly,
Losing their will,
Over time, I hope,
They'll fade,
I never expected,
That I would still,
Have avoided,
Touching the blade.

Stop

Breathe

Look up

And see

Safety.
495 · Mar 2016
Forgotten corner
Music cannot help itself,
nor be silenced by dark,
Long after nightfall,
Still those light tones,
Will float away into some forgotten corner,
Of some familiar room.
493 · Feb 2016
Not sad enough
These words will not be sad enough,
Until the ink's run a little from the tears,
Nor will they be weak enough,
Unless they are as shaky as my hand,
They will not be desperate enough,
Until they fill every corner of the page,
Searching for hope which is not there.
For K
491 · Jan 2015
Tear in the sky [Part 4]
The galaxies fade at a swipe of his hand,
With one finger he blots the stars,
With a single breath all songs are silenced,
But this world fascinates.
Why are they not afraid?
He did not try to hide,
But they did not try to run.
The sky itself was torn at his wish,
Yet they care more about some pretty colours?
So foolish,
But perhaps he could let them live,
Why?
They cannot help him,
He is beyond help,
Or greater than help at least.
His blood keeps falling,
He sees their smiles wiped away,
Just like his was,
He can't bring himself to do it,
And from his weary eye,
A tear in the sky,
Falls through a tear in the sky.
490 · Dec 2015
Left...right
Swing left,
Swing right,
Catch in the breeze,
Cast shadows on the floor,
Drift right,
Drift left,
Face the sun-splashed window
Turn away,
Fall left
Fall right,
Fall limp.
489 · Mar 2017
Over-qualified
Finally,
I have ticked enough boxes
To be called an 'Artist'
Which I think makes me
Less of one than when
I just wrote random words
On a page to see
What would happen.
489 · Sep 2017
Projections
I was nothing
My emotions projections
Of what I thought I should be
My heart beating for nothing
But circulation
As anxieties ran around my brain

I was a shell
Pretending to be normal
Imitating feelings I'd never known
Locked in a life I never lived
Broken but convincing myself
Nothing was wrong

I was confused
Knowing I was 'different'
But not sure why
And searching for fickle painkillers
That never dulled the pressure
In my mind

I was lost

Now I'm finding myself
486 · Feb 2017
Sit and hear
A snap of trumpets
A wall of strings in support
True sound revealed
486 · Oct 2015
Paranoia
Was that a whisper on your neck?
Just a breeze?
Was that a hand on your arm?
Just the chill?
Oh! Was that a noise behind you?
No, just your imagination?
A footstep perhaps?
Oh, you're running now?
Are you scared of a little noise?
Looking behind you too?
Was that something moving?
A shadow?
Or something else?
Or someone?
You're really scared now aren't you?
Oh, you're going home?
You'll be safe there, won't you?
Wait...
Did you hear something?
486 · Jul 2016
Forgetting to forget
Quiet lines define her face,
Soft edges - the limits of beauty.
Within those boundaries,
A whisper of perfection,
A hushed light.

Yet beyond her features,
She is strong,
A simple straightforward confidence,
Unquestionable, firm,
Yet somehow soft.

I tried, once again, to forget her,
To ignore the buzz in my chest,
To put her aside and walk alone,
But our paths cross again and again,
And I am no longer able to resist.

We bicker and tease,
And we've learnt where the line lies,
And how to cross it.
But somehow, we grew closer,
By falling apart.

Her smile, her laugh,
Pure joy melting across her lips,
My ears will never know,
My eyes will never see,
Brighter.

Unless our hands fit together,
And my smile joins hers
485 · Mar 2016
Cracked stones
The cracked stones I step on,
By time forced apart,
The roads that I walk down,
Reflect my broken heart,
The places I once loved just make me,
Want to go back to the start,
When the stones and roads you walked on,
Were as precious as art.

The time that passed,
May have made me change,
And after years and months,
I know I'm not the same,
But a piece of my soul,
Will always remain,
Untouched, unbroken,
Where she will stay.

Her eyes will not leave the back of my mind,
Not for long,
But that's okay,
She opened mine.
walk down
482 · Mar 2015
Approaching
Slowly approaching,
Each second ticks,
S l o w l y
Each minute passes in its own time,
Decided by the inverse of my desires,
With unwanted precision,
The days extend,
Stretched by time itself,
Or my perception thereof,
Beyond a predetermined,
Tensile strength of concepts,
Ripping through all,
Our shattered principles,
In slow motion,
But instantly,
Crushed,
And,
Lost.
.
.
.
Time
Takes
Too
Long
.
.
.
.
­Time
Waits
Too
Long
.
.
.
.
.
Only
One
Time
Matters
.
.
.
.
.
.
*­Now
15.03.78
480 · Jun 2016
Kitchens of disorder
Rows of metal shells hold our future,
The windows covered in grime and cracked,
Not that anyone would care.

The next generation eats in kitchens of disorder,
Sleeps in the home of chaos,
Wears the clothes of extortion.

***** mouths fuel our world,
Industry propped up by falsehoods,
Empty promises drive us on.
477 · Mar 2016
Mr Walrus
There is a young man: Mr. Walrus,
Who is not parrot, nor fish, nor tortoise,
He doesn't like toast,
He's 5' 2" at the most,
And his skin's not waterproof - it's porous!
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