i'm your safe haven
i'm your home
without fear
you share it
you store it
all
memories
thoughts
your struggle
inside of me
so it can be
forever
but who are you
still alone
go find your home

waarom houden
van iets dat weer gaat
dat iets is alles
en alles is eeuwig
voorbij

taking possesion of the space
it's all about you
in conversations
in actions, the do

some just feel helplessness
by commitments, cohesion
putting your ego higher
above the compasssion

seems not so easy for everyone
and maybe that's actually fine
if you can still think about another
without to erase the written line

between ego and men
take your space, your luck
but don't go crazy with one of the two
you'll see, you get stuck

you have to be tough
they said
you have to be strong
they said
now
we have grown cold
now
we have become stone
but forgotten
pushed into a hole
to feel - sanity
the destiny of humanity

these days felt so good
it should have been
something you got
so badly i wanted
so manly you gave
so sadly i miss
now you are gone
i just can't stop thinking
about the look in your eyes
when you said goodbye
the anger in your words
about your past, no dad
the warmth of your hands
when we strolled the streets
why would you give me
why would you like to stay longer
send me messages about coming over
when you do not want to see me
another day
i will try to let you fade away
each time you push me into silence
i just wish i could understand your game
but nobody is going to tell me
so i can only guess
and try to forget

it just does not feel right

what do you know about love
the craving, the salvation, the pain
what do you know about sensitivity
the feel of an unannounced last kiss
what do you know about desperation
a bleeding fist against a cold wall

what do you know about loneliness
a lost black cat between angry dogs
what do you know about gravity
the entire sun coming down on you
what do you know about sadness
a tear sunken in a lavender pilow

what do you know about loss
a dove that lost its feets to land
do you care? and why
why would you
if it's not there to nothing anyways

Why do people suffer
From another’s ego?
Why do they claim
Out of deep fear?

I hold on
To what feels real—
But who is real?
Still searching

It's hard to see
When blinded
It's hard to feel
When we resist

Ego fueling pride
a lack of empathy
What's the point
of being selfish?

**** your status
**** your beliefs
**** my beliefs
**** my needs too

We need bridges
Not more barriers
We see and tall, still
Act like animals

You crave connection?
Try the opposite
of being you, man
You don't have a clue

The impact of judgement
insensitive manipulation
The impact of ignorance
Is it you or the ego

speaking with?
again, tell me about your needs
when you don't even know yourself

walk the walk
my earplugs in
waiting
in my nowhere land

like a bullet
shocked by the sound
i hear something
then turn myself around

green eyes
the two stare at me
open and wide
glittering in the sun

dark hair
one for one
the wind blows, wild
to me complete slow motion

waiting
for my mind to come
i see the open and close
what did he ask again?

i can't think
i don't know what to say
where am I when needed?
i just walked away..

the insects crawl over me
i have to keep them away

don't jump on me already
don't let the me decay

always that certain word
alone
he carries
and he carries it with him
like a parrot on his shoulder
into the deepest valleys
alone
always looking forward
so he can pay attention
carefully and alone
what is the right path to take
as he carries it and carries on
alone
but didn't notice all footsteps
all the footsteps behind him
countless kilometers
he already walked
alone
the fellow just didn't know
because the faster, so fast
he wanted to carry on
less beauty touched his eye
one eye, alone
because there's distance
even between our dear eyes
so he forgot to look
left and right, and left
he left the crossroad of choices
tired and alone
because of choosing paths
all his life wondering
alone
but after he did a step aside
from all the doubts
thoughts in paths
oh so suddenly
life started to love him
touched him unexpected
and he liked it
even adored her, too
alone
now alone with his own life
that came to him in a day
like a shooting star
alone with life
he really got it together
as one
beautiful

i was so in love with you
everything i wanted to do
for a better us, a better you
but everything has turned blue

you always told me
'i don't want to grow up'
and this is true, it seems
you're still a child

hard to fix
i found out

a life without limits
a pocket without money
a lost and broken soul
afraid for mirrors

would you ever learn
from mistakes?

stardust in a hot cup
moves like wind in water
i drink it like a stupid child
and dream that i die this way

all people lie
they tell me i can fly
over rainbows, oh so high
high in the sky

high like a drug
the junk of heaven
i belong to you
in my dreams

dreams about a lonely bee
searching for the flower
shining in the sunlight
burning through the power

dreams about a monster
it tries to pull us under
into the strong water
closer to the thunder

we drown in the mainstream
but this would slip away like cream
if for once, just one day
together be.. you and me

how will we be able to speak
when the words won't come out
an explanation of these feelings
simply wants a few right words to shout
someone being tortured
always tells the truth

still the mouth seems closed
as it remains, a feeling of choking
the soul starts wandering again
between a billion trees, evoking
mother earth and darkness
but should they be saviours?

quiero ser libre
pero no lo quiero
quieres una chica libre
pero no se si puedo
contigo
retroceda el reloj

one day you’ll lick all these tears away
wash them off my face and taste the salt water
you’ll get to know the pain of my heart, bled dry

she looked at herself in the mirror
her skin shimmered in the glass
while the other side of her face
full filled with a shade of black

lips of red and purple
her hair was ginger alive
while the other part looked dead
in the shadow, everything fifty fifty

everything seems so perfect in the mirror

here i sit exhausted
white black and blue
tired of being tired
watching the sunset
endless without you

the colors of the sky
which begin in light
fade out in darkness
close to the final line
it's the life you fight

life isn't eternal
but neither death
what does this place mean
if you don't feel alive?

now take me from myself
because baby, you
are the only resistance
to free what's not there

now take me from myself
and just take me soon
because you're the only one

the only one
who sees straight through

everlasting pressure and tension
a house never reading between the lines
where every stranger becomes an idiot
superficial minds

trying to bear the stress
but lying awake feels like forever
tired of this room where the light is always shining bright
see the little window, all night

only because pointless *******
the senseless negativity all day
some are maybe sensitive and notice
others don't, find it okay



my little girl
now know you have never been a stranger
stop blaming yourself for the unknown ignorant
not knowing to deal with

fighting back
now i try to stand
why aren't you just there, mom and dad
where have you mentally been back then

me encanta esperar hasta el tiempo que me vas a abrazar
después mis palabras de enojo, tus miradas rechazadas..

pues no somos las personas desesperadas, somos esforzados
después todos los años cansados, llena del enojo y desamor

un nube de lluvia en tus brazos pero sin sentir vergüenza
tus latidos del corazón que pueden escapar de la tristeza

ahora y nunca más
amamos

why would somebody like to wander the Arctic
some probably have given up trying to connect
but sometimes, everything seems to be wrong

how one waits, means another’s freedom
freedom in silences? freedom in sentences
but sometimes, meaningful words only hurt

they told me, there’ll always be somebody
to pull you away from the dangerous glacier
but sometimes, there’s curiosity above this pain

they’ve teached me though, they’ll be there
to keep you away from the lonely polar bear
but sometimes, someone doesn't have the fear

to come closer..

just wanted to put my ear on polar bear’s chest
closer to listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat
closer so i could give, show him my best

and that’s how we enter the mouth of the beast
how it chews on me, again and again

quiero pensar en español otra vez
hablar con una persona nueva
esta persona de mi mente
quien he cambiado
está cambiando
cada día
ella
mi vida
siento que va muy rápido
a veces siento como dos
accelerando los pasos
a la mente formada
según ella
mi vida
yo

these constant changing moods
make me scared of myself
the lost stone in my throat
my words in a book on a shelf

in a certain library far away
way too giant for my eyes
i just can't seem to find the book
even though the people seem very nice

something rises out of the ground
impose a blockade in front of the desk
it's very quiet when i look around
and i can't ask for help, ever again

pieces of loneliness
grow slowly together
stand together as one

they eat us alive
don’t give up
never give in

but it’s like cancer
and comes back again

somewhere else
we all feel it grow
but it’s always there

the ****** inside

we never show
don’t let anybody know
your cancer is weakness

but it’s a disease too

what if we want to be healed
by somebody
somebody who feels the same like you

a lot will be there
they will be there for you

but what if we want to be healed forever
a real remedy
to keep the pain away

there’s a word with four letters
now it only has to stay

aquí la lluvia de la noche viene, otra vez
los bebes golpeando contra la ventana
caen en una piscina de agua negra

ni la luna aparece, ni un poco de luz
pero los bebes reflejan en la oscuridad
los días de otoño han llegado

el frío me abraza con poder
y el viento besa mi cara

with passion
i pressed my wet lips
on yours
so i could taste
your tongue
soft and sweet
in a mouth full of drops
or somewhere between
two subtle tongues
when the sky fell down
on us
we
dancing in the storm
and heavy rain
jumping with the thunder
all we needed
we
between all
damps from the day
wishing to be naked
and free
like our bodies
during an evening storm

thinking about you
the one who understands
without speaking
like a fist on the surface
squeezed muscle underneath
the power of you
and the infinite heat

ya estás brillando,
casi como un sol
pero todavía más fuerte,
en esta completa oscuridad

Orion se encuentra cerca de ti
esta noche, unas estrellas
la acompañan,
debajo de ti

te ponen en el último peldaño
en la parte superior
de la escalera,
tu escalera, que quiero subir

pero solo puedo aspirar y espirar
lo que sería visible?
mi cálido aliento,
en este aire frío, de un invierno eterno

el sol del universo infinito
lejos, aún tan caliente
radiantes del corazón
destellos en mi mente
eres tu
libre, ingenuo
decepcionado por solo un segundo
con una energía fuerte
la necesidad del mundo
es mi cariño
siempre-sonrisa sin pensar
difícil de alcanzar
de abajo
estoy viéndote
amarillo reflejando
todo parece más grande
pero nunca déjalo ser más gigante
que mi amor
solcito no me mandes dolor

keep me
on a distance..
to walk away
when we run deeper
into the forest
and get lost
keep me
on a distance..
to feel more safe?

how can i eat? how can i think?
how can i listen? how can’t i sink?

how can i see? or even share a bed
with nothing but you in my head?

how can i control? how can i sleep?
without you here.. how can’t i weep?

i don’t want you to fly away
addicted to your flapping wings
which hurt me
deep

but i will, i can
wait to catch you
and finally
keep

too much anger
where does it come from
while i wish to see love and peace

i still have to raise my children
the mother me is crying with them
is there anybody out there
a lack of someone being there for me
my friends, my own family
don't leave me here so lonely

but why should i feel like this all the time
wishing someone could gimme a sign
when it won't ever happen anyway

now my body tells me to stop the flow of anger
no more devils, inside of me
to avoid a room with broken furniture
i'll tell them how i want it, but i'll take it easy
(for i don't give a ****)
i'll think over my feelings, i'll feel my feelings
(for these belong to me)
i'll be my happy, but i won't become needy
(for i deserve a life to live)

because i don't need you
won't even need my mom
for i'll be my own, i be me

embrace the cries

keer op keer
telkens weer
vlak voor zonsopgang
hoevaak nog wakker te worden
met een steen in mijn buik
hoevaak nog betraande ogen te openen
in het holst van de nacht
in de stilte na de storm
als een zwarte koude wind
je neemt me steeds weer
eventjes
mee
naar een plek waar ik niet wil zijn
nee
het is er niet fijn
het doet pijn
keer op keer
een geschaden vertrouwen
wanneer laat je me met rust
dit is wat het doet met een vrouw
jij, geschaden vertrouwen
ik wantrouw jou

lo que necesito
es alguien
quien me apoya y me consola
quien no me condena
quien me da confianza
donde no tengo que pretender
donde puedo estar mi misma
enteramente
en tiempos buenos y malos

rusteloosheid
en vastgeroest verdriet
niemand ziet
het lam tussen de wolven
maar ver komt het niet
waar komt het vandaan
en waar is het geboren
of zit dat tussen haar oren
als er weer eens niemand is
het aftuigen van zelf
nog hopen op meer
lichamelijk zeer
een druppel wanhoop
gemengd met wantrouwen
en al gauw, de wanemmer verzoop
in eigen tranen
dan stromen het doet
en blijft stromen voor goed
rusteloosheid
diep in de nacht
wanneer er niemand op je wacht
behalve de ster achter de wolken
geen woorden maar daden
ja dat zal het zijn
maar het tegenbewijs valt klein
woorden onhoorbaar
een jongen die lacht
het vertrouwen ontkracht
een laatste afscheidsgroet
valt niet helemaal goed
als de duisternis nabij
zoals mijn geboorte
alleen en vrij
later zeer zelfstandig
maar nog geen procent als de rest
verpest
verpest
waarom ben ik zo anders
wat is er mis met mij, zo vrij
iedereen een ander perspectief
en ik begrijp het maar niet
ook al noemen ze mij lief
de wereld redden
met iedereen erin
heeft opeens weinig zin
als het verboden blijkt te zijn
slechts een eenzijdig spel
ach, het lam weet het nu wel
tevergeefs
rennend in de ochtendzon
verscholen in een wolkenbed
de eerste straal licht
uit het zicht
uit het zicht van de wolven
waar anders heen
springend over steentjes
met sterke beentjes
alleen in de grote wei
waarin de stilte zo groot
haar hart stilletjes vergroot
zo ook de klap van pijn
de enorme val
zo jong al
de verhouding van zwaarte
en het verdragen
aan de andere kant het extreem behagen
dat is toch geen rechte lijn
maar slechts twee woorden mochten er zijn
in steen gekerfd, beroerd gepolijst
blijdschap en depressie
maar niets er tussen in
want dat had toch geen zin
voor iemand met sensitieve uitersten
bestaat geen middenin
toch levende in een wereld van het midden
zoek balans, het middelpunt
en *** men het haar ook gunt
ze was nu eenmaal als lam geboren
en niet als schaap..  (noch rund)

blind als een mol
gravend in de grond
het was haar eigen graf
waar ze uiteindelijk op stond
omringd door de vertrouwde pijn
vroeg zich af wel van haar te zijn
met borstkas gespleten door twee
het lam kreeg heimwee
stond half dood op
wachtend op één
met hart nog langzaam trekkend
lekkend
de geur van aarde in vacht
wie had deze terugkomst ooit verwacht
en het worden van schaap
in wolfskleren
wilde zich immers niet bezeren
want moe het al was
met steen gevulde buik
de val nu slechts een kras
en wist niet eens meer wat de val was
de doorn(en) uit verleden
gestoken in vers vlees
al genoeg geleden
dus besloot nu gewoon ook wolvin
je bent een wolf, meisje
je bent een wolfmeisje
met het schaap
bloedend
nog ergens binnenin

what do you want from me
always bother, never let me sleep
always looking at me, moon
why don't you just come down?
when all clouds washed away from you
together we watch over this town

without the singing birds
without all buzzing people
only a few street lanterns to see
and my face, glowing in your light
sharing thoughts and words of rhythm
makes it a pretty special night*

...

and so i just want to
surrender myself
to the deep sea
in me

in the depth of the night
i awake
my head hurts like my heart
am i betrayed
are there lies left to say

you find me upside down
knifethrower
put a knife in my core
need to discover
it doesn't matter anymore

it's only me now
face the emotional loneliness
be close to yourself
they say
and nothing less

kankerlijer
klootzak
met een halve maan op je gezicht
het is goed bedoelt
als dat het minder erg moet maken
maar nee
het enige wat ik nodig had
was een grijntje begrip
een beetje respect misschien
nu is het al gebeurt
gezegd en gedaan
zal ik jouw gezicht liever niet meer zien
of krijg ik zin om te slaan
sorry oke
maar zonder traan
oprechtheid ver te zoeken dan
is het voorbij
niet meer dichtbij
het is gedaan
klootzak
en nog bedankt voor de argwaan

eres como un pez en el agua
sensible, liso y intocable
intentando de superar
siempre luchando
en contra el anzuelo

buscando tus aletas
en todas las emociones
nuestras conversaciones
nadando hacia el superficie
pero sigues atrapado en la red

cuándo usarás tus sentidos
y reconocerás tus propias fuerzas
cuándo dejarás de tener miedo
por las aguas más profundas

no temas mas, pez perla
es más seguro ahi abajo
deja esta superficie ya
lleno de turbulencia

ahí en lo profundo
encontrarás
tu hogar

i love
for a while
you go
for a while
in pain
for a while
deafening
desperation
of loss
your voice
returns

repeat

the circle
how will it end
my cycle of life
to continue
knowing
i got a problem
my only love
that binds
i can't escape
someone
tie me

a function for me
a function for you
a function for them
and a function for us two

is there still love?
is there still comprehension?
is there still romance
or am i from another dimension?

it's just a matter of time
that their heads will hang
and beautiful red color
stares to the ground
untill they fall down
however i have enjoyed
the power of a flower
your beauty of time

on a hot summerday
jumping in an open field
one little blade of grass
with a name on it

why do i see it from this far?

it might not exist
i pull it out of the ground
exterminate
as soon as possible

...

let them carry
the heavy heart
two golden hands
moving with stardust
and up it goes
into the universe
peaceful there
no need
for anything
you can just lie down
and rest
for as long as you want
the pain will disappear
will be alright
when the heart is with
planets and starlight

the stars i’m watching in our sky
now i see them very bright
the moon who follows, and follows
now she shares her most sensual light
the sun shines, on Earth’s coldest places
now she gives me warmth
like never before

but what if you leave
forbidden thoughts
filled with pain

where does it dwell
grief and sorrow
for it doesnt go away

leave me alone
a sense of safety
lonely, with restrictions

to love freely
what more i need
once to escape

these dreams filled with
lost teardrops
on your pillow

so much i love
so much i fear
my everything

to seperate

a child ripped away
from his mother
into the dark

falling into the hands
of a lost soul
my love, your playfield

i was your angel
with an ocean of love
but you wanted all the seas

the face of another woman
heartbreaks, goodbyes
again i dont survive

so a new heart with walls
who would be able to
break them down

all the protection, cameras
like suspected terrorism
now i regret

make me forget
what is pain, fear
lift me from the past

fighting forever to escape
a selfconstructed
prison of love

don't we dare anymore
to have a simple face to face
is it really that hard for you
to open up in an empty place

because i'm located there
can be your empty place
to everyone, always fair
just rather not followed by

sheeps

the shower is my nation
the shower is not my bath
the shower is my salvation
when I have lost my path

the shower is warm
the shower is wet
the shower, like a storm
sometimes makes me sweat

the shower is my nation
he does not dare to frown
he stops all of my frustration
and knows to calm me down

oh how i envy him
no head full of thoughts
tiresome emotions
and sigh, and sights
overthinking human beings
in the beautiful moonlight
something flies over
a screaming owl in the night
for he has found a comfortable place
and the clock is ticking through
the running water of the river
but still he's dominating
silence
oh how i envy you