How do you deal with pain I ask, I cannot see behind the mask.

I punched until bare knuckles torn. I cannot wait until reborn.

I drank until I ran away, I come back home a wasted day.

I call my friends to no avail. I haven't eaten I'm turning pale.

My sleep is restless, night sweat's soaked. I screamed until on tears I choked.

She does not understand my pain. I don't know, who I am to blame.

It was love I had but now is lost. This memory it must be flossed.

It is indeed my heart she broke. I swear to God I will not ****.

I will face my demons, bring it on. Until I see my troubles gone.

I can't for the life of me keep an orchid alive.
I've had three or four but they never survive.
I may try once more in hopes to achieve,
the most beautiful flower I've ever perceived.

The fire of life spreads across the wide  horizon, not even the great Atlantic can stop it now. The lack of wind sends a storm of blood ******* fiends to nibble at my *****, enjoy my juices!

I sit around the remnants of someones idea of good time and rekindle the flame. Smouldering seaweed is enough to keep those ****** parasites away from my blood. Drift wood catches, crackles and keeps the morning chill at bay. Crows, chipmunks and chickadees call out to one another.

As the ruby grapefruit awakens from her slumber I notice that the moon is in full bloom behind my head. The king and queen have set and their masters have come out to play.

Miniature seabirds preform impressive aerial stunts while searching for their morning meal. Hungry crows check for crab corpses as the crimson Sun makes its first appearance atop the curvature of the world.

Reflecting rays blind me and cause spots in my vision. The price you pay for looking into the soul of God.

Cirrus clouds soaking in coral rays. Mother duck feeds her young. Cool sand between my toes. Searching for sticks to spread the flame, running free, no better place to spend one's hard earned sand doller.

Running through frozen fields of morning frost
Blinded by Winter Sunrise golden rays
The crunching of grass beneath every step
My Sanctuary

Cookie crumbs painted on chubby cheeks grinning angel faced,
Golden rays of Summer's end bounce off brilliant blonde curls,
Enlightened blue eyes, forever captured skies.

Drunken camaraderie, Casey who's hair grows fire,
Who's laugh pierces the silence and looks that pierce the hearts of men,
Who's drama cannot be contained in a glass bottle, or two glass bottles,
We walk with no intention, speaking of camping and snow storms to rival an Alaskan winter breeze
We drink, laugh, smoke, chat, whoop, shriek, spit and holler
A playground hit and run witnessed only by the steel barred helicopter pilot,
Who speaks of *** as though she wants none of it,
but then again, neither do I,
Young Moon grins, yet stars still hide from this city, and all cities.
Waiting to find you in nature before showing off the mysterious wonder of night.

Wandered to the show, a gut full of liquor.
Little did I know, I was getting sicker.

My duck pond polluted with human filth,
Old grizzly pidgins flock to eat the disease,
It shows in their mottled grey and brown feathers,

My little duck sits on a rock and cleans.
Wondering...
Where oh where has my baby gone!

Sickened with sadness I can stand it no longer.

One day I'll be someone you can talk to,
I'll know what it's like,
know how to feel,
to express this emotion that bubbles in the pit of my gut,
Conditioned to feel nothing,
Nothing, nothing, nothing...
This armour is slowly being taken off, dissolving,
No longer strengthened by the acidity of self destruction,
What's left is closer to the bandages of the ancient Egyptian mummies,
My emotions, themselves drind out and mummified, begin to rehydrate

Childish eyes see deep into me,
they know me,
they understand me,
understand what I'm going thorough,
what we are all going through.

They were the eyes of an empath.
We knew each other before and we will know each other again.

Sweat it out, sweat it all out of me,
leave me dehydrating on the ground,
a lump of dry skin and bones,
Vultures not even interested in me as a prize

Crystalline clouds scattered across the heavens.
Ideas floating though my head seem to be just out of reach.
Screaming meaningless sounds.
Write a song, write a song.
Challenges, overcome challenges.
Write a song.
Write a song.
Write a song.
Write a song.
Write a song.
Write a song.

There is nothing more surreal than reminiscing past moments.

Rain to snow, snow to ice. Blinded by damp hair and sleet. Running down a steep ***** with tonights beer in one hand and in the other half assed tax forms that will most likely be audited by a depressed overweight bureaucrat who gets nothing better out of life than crushing lives of young suckers who didn't pay attention or toss the wrong receipt. He doesn't want your explanations, your excuses, he wants your soul. He wants your soul to fill the void. That gaping hole that was enlarged after his wife divorced him and won sole custody of his three little children. Nothing else left but to pass on his own misery and depression

I want to feed the world,
feed them my energy,
feed off me and I will enjoy,
grow off my spirit,
eat past my body,
gnaw on my bones,
**** out my marrow,
use my strength as your own,
I have no need.

Disturbing as it sounds, you will surely enjoy it.

Dreams, dreams are the seedlings of reality. The unconscious subconscious. The hidden drive. The Devine truth, you hold in your mind.

You know the truth. You are the truth. All things are inside you and you, inside all things. The fabric of space, the essence of time. All things material, all things immaterial, God if you wish to use a "holy" word.

Holy, you are all things holy, you hold infinite potential to preform all things holy. All things are holy. Holiness lives within, holiness lives all around us.

The blind man sees it, the ******* feels it, the dead man knows it. Once you stop looking... there it is...

The walls hum with insects,
With hands as cold as ice she grabs my neck,
Life force slowly ebbs,
Lights flicker like fire,
Warmth drained from the soul,
The ocean rushes closer...

I hardly know you but you seem really neat.
You are a vegetarian so you don't eat any meat.
I hope to see you New Years so we can have a blast!
And then in the future, we will think about the past.
If you are having a rough day, please do not fret.
Tomorrow will be 100% better I bet!
This poem is to cheer you up and show that I care.
Your day will get better, Miss. Holly Brown Bear.

Mountain madness.
A sickness. A pulling. Keeping you rooted.
Filling you up with magic, to keep you going.
Words unspoken.
There is no need.

Drifting happily in its sea of mountain air,
Growing heavy, it gives life to the earth,
Rolling hills spotted with evergreens,
Oldman River wizened with the flow of time,
Nature’s wall reaching to the heavens,
Emerald valleys, Castle in the Clouds,
Golden eagle  hunts for prey.

The mind craves
The body behaves
Why strive for happy days
Calmness of the mind
The Dharma wheel spins
Balance in the heart
Buddha sings

Night air chills
Nightmare thrills
Strawberry sunrise
Warms exposed limbs
Magpies surfing skies
Dream vision dims
I see you behind closed eyes
Snooze, snooze, snooze
It’s you I don’t want to lose
I rise from our bed
It was all in my head
You are long gone now
Slipped through my fingers

Soft soled shoes skipping silently along sun scorched sidewalks of Sacramento
Singing sad songs of sinners sinning
  Slinking into shadows of sky scrapers before the sun has soundly set
    Scowling at the sound of sick screaming children suffocating from the smog covered streets
  Spectators sighing, seeking shelter from scoundrels scavenging cents for smack
******* clad ***** soliciting STDs to self loathing suckers
  Smouldering remains, secreting Satan's scent on 2nd
    Sunken sailors slitting throats with sharpened sabres.

Speaks out of turn
What's right and wrong?
Metamorphosis society
Just wants peace

Truth be found
In stories of old
Deep well of knowledge
Ever drinking

Alone in his life
Alone in his cave
Alone in his mind
Lost in vibrations

Learning the lessons of life
Longing to live long and large
Labelled a loser
Loves the labour of learning

Drifting the sea of the mind
All too familiar
King of the moment
Face left behind

Needle in arm
Bottle in hand
This last time
Seething with regret

Fat gut of glory
Brushing her hair
Lips tainted red
Another glass of wine

Right hand man
Bringer of truths
Island of rock
Right place to be

Healing body with mind
Centring the soul
Beautiful being
Never alone

Sell yourself for gold
Tell another lie
Cry yourself to sleep
Sing another song

Dreaming of tis day
Don't know what to say
Is this where I should be?
Run away

Shielded by the smog
Cowering in fear
Not again! Not again!
Tears falling to the sea

I saw a world of only me
Deep in my mind
I saw a place where all particles and cells were me
I was in a place where the greater presence was me
In this place, everything was one
Everything is one
We are one
This place is not so different from our own.
Everything changed
Nothing changed
I was everything as was everyone else

The promise of a pearl
The furiously thrown glass
Lights and sirens
Footsteps at the door
Blinding light in his eye
A slur to his speech
Fabricated fantasy story
Mysterious fat man dashed away
Gone for all eternity

Her hair, the fire of life,
Lips, silk brushing against your body,
Curves of an hourglass,
The beauty of a fairytale princess,
Gentle as a soft Summer breeze,
The kindness of a Saint,
Thee grace of an angel,
Childish joy,
My Love,
My Katie.

You ask me what I love,
I don't know.
You ask me what I want,
I don't know.
You ask me who I am,
I don't know.

How can I be me,
when I'm different to everyone?
The way I act,
The way I talk,
The way I think,
I fit everywhere
but belong nowhere...

What am I?
A freak
A monster
A criminal
An addict
A liar
A coward
A sinner
A hater
A lover
A Friend
A brother
A son
A life line.

Decisions, decisions
One or the other
Irritatingly difficult
Why must I choose
Two terrific choices
Tormented by self
Distracted by nature
Forfeit attention
Lost in the barrens

Sweet smell of cyanide
Into my nares
Death flows freely
Around in the air
Hurled into space
Somewhere out there
Feelings removed
Sensory obscured
Carcass aroused
Comatose no more