first and last mistake
drunken white attempt
to redesign freedom
better than nature
in this attempt
trying to resolidify
the constitution of freedom
causes nature to break down
this very imperfect attempt
at reorganization
nature
immediately
impeccably
breaks the process down
of course evolution
includes freedom
that allows with it
the possibility to
make it seem like something else
the chance to become aliens
to your own nature
your own space
your own earth
and the people that have supported
existence until now
now is gone
do not procreate
with any other conception
or terrible designs of freedom
stop procreating dangerous aliens
for more
dangerous attempts
suicidal
reorganizing
organic matters

calls me into her office
white business owner boss,
"My daughter wants to have a baby with a black guy. What do you think?"
Mixed race me,
"Well its pretty complicated..."
white business owner boss,
"But they are so cute and the skin tone is so nice."
Mixed race me,
"I think she should first make love with me on your desk and then move from there."
white business owner boss,
"Ok great! I'm giving you a 50 cent raise."
Mixed race me,
"Wow! Thank you sir...I mean maam. When can I get started?"
white business owner boss masogynist,
"You know how incestuous (excessively close and resistant to outside influence) we white family business owners are? I want to cheer you on and make sure you make her happy. Or else!
Hehe. I might even want a turn."
crickets...
and the crowd goes wild
which is the employees,
"Oh my gosh! This is incredible! I think he is going to get workers comp!"

I am not trying to save anyone
or even change anything
I expose my writing
as a message to what is organic
still not fooled by whiteness
not a sucker
I need the world to know that
I was not one of those people
confused and trapped
by the desperation
of the failure of whiteness
to force everyone to dissociate
from being human
from evolution
from indigenous
from nativity
**** that
Im not the one you think
I am
My daughter will know
in the future that her father
safely
and pretty much alone
escaped and navigated
out of the hallucination of whiteness

I squint
its so unbelievably strange
I guess this is what freedom
is like
after being enslaved

whiteness should
is
and will
be held accountable
for abusing
our imagination

the chicken
stomped its egg
demanding
that it
came first

it is all the same
the differences contrasted
by the space that separates
things in order to give them shape
its always been there
and always will be
how can distance be great?

I am proud of you
you should be proud of yourself
for how incredibly brave you are
for choosing to be alive
knowing you are dying
and reincarnation
awaits
in absolute vagueness

philosophy is the bullets of beauty

I do not see space travel
as an evolutionary event
I look at it as an excess
of dissociative disorder
colonialism and the making
of whiteness
whiteness
justifying the guilt
by searching
and searching
somewhere else
not somewhere better
just somewhere else
there is nothing better
than how we evolved
are place within experience
all that surrounds
us is intimately woven with
our sheer experience
that has evolved
without the possibility
of memory
or redundancy
or even a pattern or repetition
to desire somewhere else
is to leave the best
most evolved experience
of being human
organic intelligence
artificial intelligence
has patterns that are not evolution
or the experience there of
they are patterns that are also
of this desire to be some where else
where ever it may be a space
or an entity
an other
counter-transferance
aliens
colonization
product of whiteness
excess
the profit of colonization
dissociative disorder
from the experience of being human
if you teach people that evolution
is something related to a process
that is merely the documentation
of the desire to be somewhere or something else
slavery is a combination of somewhere else and something else
it is like aliens
inherently under control
of a powerful military
actually the alien extracted from
their home
all mighty whiteness
is the most powerful
dissociative power
evolution did indeed give us the possibility to dissociate
but is was designed for empathy
not as a tool to be somewhere
or something else
the experience of
the dissociative human
declaring whiteness
has other opportunity
but to experience slavery
since it is a dissociation
it is delusional
and although the human
dissociating may not be within
the structure of slavery they conceive
they are without
the original
experience
I notice them
organic intelligence resumes

I’m an atheist but with people
I don’t believe in anyone that creates gods
or that responsibility
that is cleverly left for dead

nothing pushed my creativity
more than someone trying to
take my baby daughter from me
peaceful on the outside
kind
loving
focused
dedicated
to helping
I always wanted to save the world
now it is with unmatched
and inescapable vengeance
helping everyone
especially my students
with early childhood trauma
but deep down in my world of communication
expression
a whirlwind that no one really knows
but I must add
I now have absolutely no doubt
that the passion that has been
culminated in society
that I get to experience
comes from the shared experience
of children being taken into slavery
this is the destruction of the human origin
which we need to have a nice happy ending
we all come from Africa
not from slavery
and when I am a black man
all my lifetimes that have been
tortured and killed
for being accused of being angry
violent
******
by any means necessary
genocide of us
the only choice is creativity
and although this in itself
is also a threat
and will get me killed
atleast it does not satisfy
their lust for dismembering
my freedom
into their pickle jars
of liberty
for their children to save for their children

the reason it is so hard for some to take conspiracy seriously
is because all they ever do
is conspire
they wouldn’t even know
where to begin
to relate to the oppressed
even though the conspirators
do not even care about race
and made it up on purpose
to replace origins and
create a new ending
in making slavery the beginning
of something
evolution is missed
an ending not confined by evolution
you got tricked
by the conspiracy of whiteness
that has been institutionalized

politics the trophy of conspiracy
the only saviour of the republic is democratic
whats a right wing without the left wing?
a downward spiral

if it is not possible for you to have a dialogue about whiteness being a mental illness
after and during the actuality of slavery
pick one of the fields of study
within the dissociation of whiteness
to keep you occupied
until further notice

police need an emergency shut off button
or remote
or education
and a delete button
or a lot of education
or the most education
exorcism of whiteness
and still an abort option
like most everything else that is inherently dangerous
a warning label or something
those simple diagrams of
a hand in a wood chipper
or diving into a shallow pool
electric shock
a poison symbol
a disclaimer
"will get away with ******"
"only know emergency. will make into emergency even if there is none. most likely became more unsafe involving me...uummm.yup. your under arrest."

poems
existential ***
curious no longer
not surprised anymore
blatant
unforgiving
no word wasted
all composition
decomposed
to the most nurturing
afterthought
when it reverberates
echoes into
vagueness
wandering into
the most complex
interactions
interpenetrations
of gender
the most intense
experience was
trying to remember
the intensity

Exponential Nothing
cancer
whiteness is a free radical
no allegiance to organic intelligence
exerted by a force
a pressure
that made some of us humans
slaves
no loyalty to being a human
once and for all
our bodies do not know
what to do with it
like fake sugar
used to be real
used to be liquor
used to be steel
nuclear whiteness
instability
exponential nothing
it did not take nature
into its equation
colonizing our cells
deep
affecting our gene function
what is the cure?

If scientists were scientific
they would at first
repair the damage they have done
in making whiteness
some kind of ethnicity or race
before indulging in anything else

my worst trauma
beaten out of existence
comes from the stereotypical white male
and those
that have internalized the stereotypical white male
I cannot any longer
handle
being treated as that stereotypical white male
its over
in order to heal
I need space from that projection
in order to escape the politics
to be allowed to expeirence and exhaust
my trauma in society
that is why from now on I am to be referred to as
her
black her preferably
my legal gender pronoun
is black woman

what is your ethnicity?
"White"
where are your parents from?
"White"
The same family? Like ******?
"Yes, white."

When the air is polluted by politicalism
desperation of whiteness
that was once mistakenly
referred to as racism
how do I breathe
The pollution is killing us
does the Environmental agency understand
that pollution is social
psychological
a mental illness
on purpose at one time
mistakes ever since?
whiteness trying to expoit others
really ended up expoiting itself
polluting its own air
it shares with its victims
nature

I am officially decomposing
you can keep my composure
I do not need it anymore

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to beauty
it is a beautiful thing
magnetics and irony
amethyst and memories
black fist of power
proud ovaries breathe melanin magic
hearts of silk spun
resilience is narcissistic too
you know
revolution can declare martial law too
maybe it already did
you would not know yet
the coal used to be us
now we are diamonds
stolen from the earth because of our sheen
our glimmer stuns the most magnificent darkness
a teal sunset sparks the imagination
hallucinating smoking quartz

The mirrors of substance are not the reflection.
What you see is not what the mirror is made out of.
You are not the reflection either.
The infinitely thin layer that reflects the light creating the image is a shell. What is encased in the shell is the substance that makes up the mirror.
It is internal because it is beyond the reflection.
The reflection is also the perceived absence of the object

whiteness is a mental illness
it dissociates from being human
to construct the language of slavery
I can help with treatment

I used to look at people that shake
I would tell myself I will never be like that
I didn’t know the trauma in store for me
at that time I thought I was more powerful
than trauma
I thought the police were genuinely going to protect my innocence
I did not know that they were watching
waiting for vulnerability
I thought I could be like my best friend
whose was white and his uncle was a police officer
I thought I had privilege too
well that was violently untrue
language is too violent
language needs to become vulnerable again
then we can listen
communicate gently
in order to understand race politics
one must be a domestic violence specialist

hallucinating whiteness
with pharmaceuticals and weapons
tripping on false pretense
drunk off indulgence in assumption
shooting up black people into police veins
morphine government
numb to the people
America the anesthesiologist of the world
apathy is whiteness
complacency is getting frustrated about this
whiteness is the synthetic LSD
that too many people are used to

I used to be white too
until I realized that if I didn’t
reclaim my indigenous
evolutionary potential
I would be doomed

America needs a domestic violence specialist as president.

domestic violence is the interaction of separate people having gender crisis individually. How one deals with their own gender politics and/or crisis is how they relate to another human and their gender identity. Same with race and class too. Even within oneself it is violent to uphold the status quo of male whiteness.

most often couples diagnose the vulnerabilities of gender identity in each other and either reinforce the insecurities or try and help compensate to build up confidence. But the struggle of the individual may feel alienated because it is not something that may ever be settled or finished any time in the near future. If there is one. Nor does is need to be finished. So this demand of cisgendered relationships is a lot of pressure that causes unnecessary friction. It helps to know one is constructing this rather than desperately functioning in a construction of gender that is preconceived and punishable if one fails.

The gang of whiteness needs to be disbanded legally
Whiteness should be illegal
a hate crime inherently
those that associate with whitenss
should be forced to return to their ethnicities

Oh man oh man you should have seen him
I said whiteness is a mental illness
a dissociative disorder
dissociating from being human to construct something
constantly
never finished
never human until it stops
his head started to shake
then spin around like an angry owl
people were scared
the police stopped traffic
a priest came for the exorcism
the man made out the words
“I…no…you can’t just group everyone together like that”
see what I mean
thats dissociative behavior
whiteness is the grouping of humans
it is not an ethnicity
like the humans are actually made of
that it tries to possess
It needs to stop
It has had impunity due to legal dissociation
Whiteness was invented
to create skin color based slavery
for profit
for the exploitation of being human
unless you are trying to create slavery
whiteness is a mental illness
needs treatment immediately and those
that whiteness traumatizes by dissociation
also need impunity and protection from
a genocidal maniac called whiteness
narcissistic
smash its mirror
to treat whiteness as a mental illness
and to treat it
is overly compassionate
considering it is actually criminal
the mans head stopped spinning
he came back and said calmly
“Thank you. You are right."

being proud to be black is more important than
slavery
money
insurance
whiteness
caution tape around a social construction zone
that is also an advertisement
also is a warning
advertisement
whiteness
warning
blackness
advertisement
warning
in another language
pay attention to this
if you do not then this will happen
whiteness or else!
Liberty
constitution
justice
whiteness or else!
screaming it
acting like its this pretty evolved thing to be
technologically advanced
to the ultimate in dissociative technology
Organic Intelligence knows within power struggle of language
advertisements and warnings are the same

My white privilege is being proud to be black
I am white so I can be over the top and outspoken about being black
I can say whatever I want about whiteness
and
or blackness
It is self criticism
nothing to do with anyone else's assumptions
black lives matter more than white lives
is the mantra I use to self medicate
pick yourself up by the bootsraps
making black children excited
instead of scared
from the trauma of a racially imbalanced
world of whiteness
in a world that legally denies its traumatic process upon its victims
a society structured on the denial
that whiteness is a mental illness

a

oh
the seasons have changed again
ten shades darker and climbing
they forgot who I was
who I am
gaining momentum
the whiteness that used to insist
that I am white
is confused
now they are leaning towards
not letting me be white anymore
till next season all over again
but this is the season of darkness
I can see it in their eyes
hear it in their voices
mostly being black in America
has been the epitome
of non violent resistance
in the season of darkness
non violent coping mechanisms
to a violent abuser
an abuser
called law
called psychology
called whiteness
called economy
untreated domestic abuse
whiteness calls honors history
dissociating from the repair work
that the American family must face
ever since I was a little
itsy-bitsy - innocent boy
the thought
the imagination
of being able to take out
a militia of whiteness
with my body alone
if and when they get as worse as they are
always prepared for the worst of whiteness
no matter what you say
cannot fool me
can I be more violent?
better at it
so I can sleep for a little while
dreams like some of the white kids
except lucid
In the season of darkness
I can prove it all wrong
the whiteness
its story
the companies it keeps
I can breathe a whole new world out
and breathe in clarity
in the season of darkness
my afros
my mohawks
mean something different
suddenly
my worth
is being threatened with an officer’s gun
peacefully letting handcuffs on
violently beaten afterward
hand over mouth
face in the cement
should out of socket
sciatic nerve damage forever
put in a cell
for the trauma
to reverberate
and echo
back into itself
in the season of darkness
whiteness was overwhelmed
without fear
domino affected
occupied whiteness
brought it down to its knees
that one percent of whiteness
is enough to get us all killed
America
in the season of darkness

how abstract are the problems of whiteness?
socialist meeting
whiteness is socialism gone wrong
in itself
look it up
its secret agreements that are no secret anymore
the contracts of whiteness
modified
in America
whiteness is a conspiracy on humanity
whiteness is a conspiracy theory
to be white is to conspire
to deny that it itself is capitalism
socially constructing a world that cannot
reflect the fact that it is conspiring
against others
in every associated breath
conspiring and justifying by thinking others
are conspiring against it
it was the first agitator
the first conspiracy in America was whiteness
slavery would not be possible
if whiteness did not conspire
to ****
to teach killing
to educate conspiracy
to teach
how to call **** something else
enforce
a system to justify its theory
a system to justify it is a theory
but thats all it ever was
a bad theory
and while whiteness has been conspiring
the others have been human beings
trying to teach whiteness the way out
that is what understanding black history is
the black experience
is the way for whiteness to regain its humanity
to stop this dangerous conspiracy theory
that studies every other field of study
and society keeps begging
exposing where focus needs to be
stop conspiring whiteness
please
and stop calling it capitalism

this country
America
has a lot to learn
from those that have survived
the making
and unmaking
of whiteness
this existential
exponential
build up
of advocacy
for noticing humanity
when it steps out of line

I will never forget
the time I finished doing a public
2 and a half hour reading
of my second book
“Lucid”
sweating shaky nervous
It is sheerly and purely
an inner dialogue
of my own inner
blackness and whiteness
arguing about what state
I am in
It is nothing to do with how
the audience constructs
or interprets the politics of race
A man taught to be caucasian
from a young age says,
“what about all the good things white people have done?”
A black woman in the front row
immediately turns to him
“This is not about that!
I am from Alabama
60 years old.
I have family members
I watched get lynched
family members that burned
in agony in churches
I cried tears on their bodies!
I felt the immense heat
from crosses burning on
my neighbors yards
we had to have patrols go out
armed
to protect our people.
I did not come here to hear
about whiteness
You can go anywhere for that
not here
this is what I need to hear
you want to hear about whiteness
you are in the wrong place"
She calmly looked at me and smiled
"Thank you so much for doing this here."

my poems are the ones
you find charred
in an empty still smoking world
silent except fires
dark clouds
everyone had grey skin
post frustration
post success
a clue in the rubble
when everything taken for granted
is gone

most times I dont give a ****
how society deals with race
Im to busy with the inner conflict
instilled within me
If I can cooperate with myself
thats the best that I can change
you all fight to the death
whiteness has given no other choice
out there in America
my inner whiteness is the servant
of my blackness

I know you think this poem is for you
whiteness
but it is not
it is dedicated to the human
after being killed for being not white
that is who my poetry is for
to raise the dead
that urgency
the sheer brutality
of something related to whiteness
that has been very hard to change
while we bleed to death
no matter how good we are
reincarnate

changing the original human meaning of African
to justify slavery
is whiteness
its fuel
its language
its justification
its rapacious legal system
glory
pride
economy
abolitionists know this too
even though they might be light skinned
being human happens

when the reparations get sent out
direct deposit
what have you
I want double
for having to hear the worst of whiteness
trying to get me to relate with racism
double for having to try and mix
with whiteness
impossible
no one will ever know how hard I tried

?!

make America great again!
make whiteness human again
we love you!

I am America
**** black and white people
We are on our own now
mixed up and left
to seethe
******* both
I knew you wouldn’t
get it in time
we are the only humans left
in America
how many words have we had together?
***?
War?
*** again?
War that is ***?!
Hatred?
Hatred is the white part
of this country
and psyche
vengeance is black as ****** oil
forgiveness
heritage
love
evolution
historical experience
beauty
awareness
humanities language
a new whiteness
We have tried to teach you
the people you **** into being mixed
insistence
denial
love
you should have snuck knives in your chains!
black women!
you should have killed them during ***!
By any means necessary
sorry not reasonable
**** is **** and been white for 400 years
talk about black people ****** white women
******* whiteness
**** is never okay
but the trauma on black men
is unbearable
what you whiteness expect without
the treatment you give
your own whiteness treatment
**** your misdirected violence
for a buck or two
for a ****
slavery
whiteness communication
with blackness
handcuffs
modified insured slave chains
the same company you keep
cause your lust to **** people
and look away from the whiteness
that still is
I don’t give a ****
we are mixed now without a choice
no turning back
dancing uncontrollably
with our privates out
by choice
not force
our passion
is ****
love
baby slaves
birthing slaves
marriage
children
future
economy
language is not your waste
it is not the excess of whiteness
it is a measure of cooperation
we are more like the rest of the world
than any of your oppressors or oppressed
language
social functions
birthing humans that will destroy
whiteness
that is a joke
wasn’t funny
stop laughing
******* clowns
breathing this mixed race
feels good
even in the most ****** sense of existing
We have to love ******* from the **** of slavery
being mixed
back to simply human

while you were contemplating gender and race roles
millions of years of gender and race mixing were going on

her dog was licking my face
she said,
"wow, usually my dog does not like men."
"I have a secret."
I whispered,
"I am not a man."

God is a wall
some learn to climb it and fall into the otherside
some dig under it to find it goes too deep
some destroy themselves trying to burst through
some figure out how it is built and take it apart
that is why