We write it and we destroy it
Do with it what we see fit
Tear it up
Burn it, hide it below dead js in a cup
Like our souls
Like the cigarette burn holes
In our shirts and our arms
Our sleeping bags
Awoken to forever-under-our-eyes bags

All I ever wanted was for mommy to say she loved her little boy. To say "I'm proud of you". To look at me without shame. All I ever lived for was to prove my worth to her. To have her recognize me, to say "I love you". To hug me so the demons flee. All I ever longed for, was for a mother. To hold me and say " Don't worry, everything will be OK". Instead, all I've ever received was cold 'love'. I received lonely birthdays, followed by insults and comparison of my younger blood. All I ever received was beatings and rage. The bottle claimed her just as the blade claimed me. All I received was isolation. All I feel now is rage. Rage to her, rage to the world for abandoning me. Rage to my friends for having love, hating then secretly because they're not alone in the middle of a crowd. All I feel is apathy, an indifference to a life that's been unkind to me. I didn't ask to be the monster, so why do they complain when I show all I know? I am just a simple product of society's rejects. All I ever dreamed for, all I ever prayed for, all I ever hoped for, was just to not be alone. But that's all I got, it's all I know.

By Arcassin Burnham

Just know that I'll be here for ya,
I'll put my seatbelt on and steer for ya,
I'm rolling in the deep of fears for ya,
I would not dare,
Not to care for ya,
Known to be the one to take the Rep for ya,
Writing song with a guitar for ya,
Look up to the heavens and the stars for ya,
Ill give my life,
Comes with a price for ya,

Why do I feel this way,
In later time we'll be okay,
Why do I feel this way,
And when the skies turn grey,
I roll this feeling away,
Into the depths of whatever I have become,
I know that I can not run,
From you,
Cause I would die for ya.

By Arcassin Burnham

I
Would like
To know
The passion of you,
The fire in you,
The freedom to burn freely,
Several things that I would do to get close to you,

(The thing you haven't known by now,
Is that I'm ready to go,
The flower blooms so quick somehow,
Under a blanket of snow,
And if I could take back the things I said,
I swear you gotta know,
Haven't you got a clue my love,
That I love you so)

I
Would like,
To know,
The things that you lack,
That makes you sad,
The signs are so complicated,
Ill never make you feel bad,
I love to make you laugh,

(The thing you haven't known by now,
Is that I'm ready to go,
The flower blooms so quick somehow,
Under a blanket of snow,
And if I could take back the things I said,
I swear you gotta know,
Haven't you got a clue my love,
That I love you so).

Thoughts never left unfelt;
words never left unthought,
torturing the mind they cannot escape.
Illusive, yet demanding to be spoken.

Breaking, hiding, running at impossible speed
in fear of the coming storm.
The syllables are sprinting
while utterances bevel behind boarded windows

The mind turned against itself;
feelings turned against their maker,
while the dark rains, drowning rains, are pouring.
The intracranial hurricane forces itself through the ruins.

Treacherous, turbulent storm a’brewing
Discolored and tornadoing
through the mind’s hills and valleys.
Unorganized and unrelenting.

On Friday Morning I told you that I knew
as I walked through the door
blue

On Friday Morning I was not worth it
as I walked through the door
hit

On Friday Morning the night came back in pieces
as I walked through the door
releases

I had told you that I loved you
as I blackout danced
woo

A lie
A goodbye

new age jungles and city species
running through the curious dark
you say “Now IS the time to be alive.”
and stay out late
to watch the sunrise
from suicidal heights
see the bright lights
see the city sights
read your last rites
got
high insights
stay awake to watch the sun rise
to watch your mind fall down
to watch your ultimate demise

bustling brains become a barren tundra
and city thoughts die
and bodies still move with the beat
while thoughts experience defeat
you’re not complete
gotta cheat
gotta eat
but you gotta retreat
but you gotta take a seat
now it’s bittersweet
step back, gotta let go
gotta move on
skip the free throw

At a ripe young age my imagination would take me to faraway lands, where I knew I was safe because you were there to guide me.
As I grew I became confused by decisions made for me,
I was upset because you were my Dad but were unable to be there for me.
Headstrong & stubborn with an attitude to boot, are just a couple of reasons we clashed.
Whirling & twirling down a chaotic self destructive path.
Too scared to scream.
Too tired to ask for help.
I wish I had listened to you.
As I grow now I remember the guidance you gave me, I cherish the moments of laughter & memories you made with me. I regret the years we missed amidst all the chaos.
Seeing passion & knowledge just flowing out of you.
Taking the time to know you, become your friend as well as your daughter.
I love you Dad with all my heart, I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner xo.

******* just let me sleep,
without nightmares or fare.
Without pain from clenching & grinding my teeth to the core.
Just please let me sleep.
Without aching tense muscles,
dread & anything more.
One night without clammy fists fulls of hair,
sheets drenched and clinging with sweat.
I weep as dawn breaks for I know my slumber awaits,
& the lord won't allow me to sleep.