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 May 2016
Sarah Mulqueen
At a ripe young age my imagination would take me to faraway lands, where I knew I was safe because you were there to guide me.
As I grew I became confused by decisions made for me,
I was upset because you were my Dad but were unable to be there for me.
Headstrong & stubborn with an attitude to boot, are just a couple of reasons we clashed.
Whirling & twirling down a chaotic self destructive path.
Too scared to scream.
Too tired to ask for help.
I wish I had listened to you.
As I grow now I remember the guidance you gave me, I cherish the moments of laughter & memories you made with me. I regret the years we missed amidst all the chaos.
Seeing passion & knowledge just flowing out of you.
Taking the time to know you, become your friend as well as your daughter.
I love you Dad with all my heart, I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner xo.
 May 2016
Sarah Mulqueen
******* just let me sleep,
without nightmares or fare.
Without pain from clenching & grinding my teeth to the core.
Just please let me sleep.
Without aching tense muscles,
dread & anything more.
One night without clammy fists fulls of hair,
sheets drenched and clinging with sweat.
I weep as dawn breaks for I know my slumber awaits,
& the lord won't allow me to sleep.
 May 2016
Sedoo Ashivor
Love spat in my face
Stomped me under his foot
Put me in my place
Stole away my youth

Love wore an angry mask
Laughed me to scorn
Took me to task
Kept me forlorn

Love robbed my innocence
Made my fire quench
Crushed my very essence
Made me a stench

Then, I really met Love
Who was good and true
He wore no masks
And didn't look like you

Then I knew!

It wasn't Love
Who hurt me bad
It wasn't Love
Who made me sad
**It wasn't Love
It was you.
 Apr 2016
Arcassin B
By Arcassin Burnham

While I continue to search for the purpose
I should have possessed along time ago
While I was still kicking and screaming
Fading away and took hold of my soul,
Now I have no idea where I'll end up when
I die,
Probably somewhere in hell fire at the end
Of a chain and a whip begging God to give
Me what I deserve,
But as a mistake I deserve nothing,
Why do I have to be any different than he or
She,
Why can't I just be stronger than both parties,
Dark , depressing, and lonely like premature
Ejaculations,
Born into a world that teaches you it's wicked ways,
I pray,
For all that have to live in the so-called "ghetto",
I pray,
These bad memories will disappear in time,
I pray that every single bad thing I've experienced
And wasn't good at will advance and make me into
The human being I need to be,
But the Lord doesn't hear me,
At least the Lord I'm praying to will agree,
Most of us sit with our mouths shut,
And bathe in this indecency,
But no one is listening.
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/04/why-bad-memories-featured-in-new-mep.html
 Apr 2016
Javier Garza
Roaming these empty hallways
With dead eyes I see nothing of interest
Roaming from room to room
I see no light to lead me through the dark

It's a blind stumble
There's no joy
And all I see are baren walls
As I continue on walking

I keep on searching with half opened eyes
Partly wishing to find some meaning in all the emptiness
Half hoping to find some light to bring back color to this dull life

Cliché isn't it
That it was you who sparked some life in me
With a simple smile
Simply acknowledging me
It gave my life a little bit of meaning

So I continue walking through these empty hallways alongside you
The barren walls seem to have gotten some color
The hallways don't seem as dark
The lights seem to be working again

Then others came
More beings who spurred something deep within
Something absolutely human
It itself was light
And it interested me
A difference from the same dark
So I continued walking alongside my new companions

Together we all walked
No longer did I search in empty rooms
Or gazed through broken windows
Because I somehow managed to leave it all behind when I walked through the door that led to the outside world
To the life full of color
Full of new sounds and smells
To a brand new world full of wonder and interest

But what's most interesting
Is what led me to this world
The friends who brought me here
Who were the light amongst the bland
And the friend who started it all
So I'll explore this new world with him and the others
To see what else I might find of interest
To see what else might give my life meaning
 Apr 2016
Amanda Kyara
16
Your words leave me empty
as empty as the bottle
laying next to me
on the floor at
4:16 am
when I no longer had anything left.
16.
I was your 16th,
or 17th?
was i just a number to you?
or did you genuinely give
a care about me?

It’s hard to know what to believe

He loves me
he loves me not
popping a pill
for each time in which
I am in doubt

I end up downing the bottle
knowing that I may die from all the pills
but at least I killed all the pain.

4:16 am

I am contemplating my life
was it worth it to do this?
Is it worth it to live
In a life in which I am not fully loved
yet I give out all the love I have to offer
to those who are not worthy of it
I'm done
 Apr 2016
Austin Heath
"You are killing me."
"Only in self defense", I
banter back at her.

A massive *******
but it's in my gene pool and
therefore my nature

****** choking,
pulling her hair and pushing
her throat in my hand.

Tell your boyfriend that
you want to **** someone else
but you still love him.

Branded with bite marks.
I let her tear me apart,
inside and/or out.

Listening to her
short breaths between my tight palms.
just like an angel.

I'm of the angels;
horrific, unnatural.
Gorgeous, but rarely.

Nothing in this ****
mistake of an existence
is flinching at me.

-She believes in some
value system that merits
her 'good" behavior.

-She has a conscience.
The notion seems so naive
looking back I guess.

I have great secrets;
I get away with ******
(Metaphorical).

Typical *******
with a heart made of copper
but so close to gold.
 Apr 2016
SøułSurvivør
~~~

you cannot give
that which you do not own

you cannot own
that which you have not

PAID FOR


SoulSurvivor
(C) 4/17/2016
I want to read. Honestly. I have been trying but something always comes up which interrupts me. I couldn't figure out why this was. I thought I was letting a lot of people down. But God just revealed something to me. Part of the reason that I I'm on this site is to be a light to those who are not believers and do not understand why God does (or doesn't do) certain things. I want to give a reason for my faith in Him. But I haven't been studying my Bible and I haven't been praying as much as I should. I can't give away something I don't have. And the above is simply true.
Salvation was paid for by Jesus Christ. But unless you work for it you can't own wisdom. So I am going to be taking some time away from the site to study and pray.

I am very reluctant to do this. So many of you have been reading me so Faithfully. And I feel badly that I am not reciprocating. Please. Know that I love you. But I just can't be on site right now. thank you so much for your support. Just because I'm not reading doesn't mean I'm not praying for you. I'm thinking of you often. And when the Lord leads me to you I will be reading you as well. But it must be in his time. Take care and I will see you soon.

~~~
 Apr 2016
Arcassin B
By Arcassin Burnham

Put my hands on my head and
Pray for better days in worship
To a man that doesn't even show his
Face,
But for some will get the clever
Devils warm embrace,
Thinking about your life,
How it was just another phase,

I kept the time in sight,
In mind to see the proper
Picture frame,
Your life ruined by sin will have
You crawling in a chase,
I don't belong anywhere not even
In this place,
Thinking about your life,
How it was just another phase.

you have no choice but to tell the
truth.
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/04/truth-drug.html
 Apr 2016
Enigmuse
dear little me,
you’re taught that if a boy is mean to you, he likes you. you watch all these movies and read all these books about jerks and scumbags who fall for good girls and subsequently ‘act right’ for them, and only them. you think this will happen to you. please don’t date the ‘bad’ boys.

no, the boy of your dreams is a suburban drummer with hair the color of the earth, and the kind of laugh that makes you smile, even if you’re trying as hard as you can to be mad at him (which you never really are).

you listen to him. everything he has to say, you listen. even if you heard it all before, you listen, because nothing makes you happier than the sound of his voice when he’s talking about something that interests him, or how his day went, or something that made him laugh. and he listens to you. everything you say, no matter how dumb it is, or how much you stumble over your words, or ramble on about things that aren’t very interesting, he listens, and he doesn’t think you’re stupid, and he doesn’t think you’re annoying, and he never ignores you. ever.

he introduces you to his parents on valentine’s day, and doesn’t make you feel like you owe him anything. he buys you that bear you hinted at wanting the week before, which you end up sleeping with every night, and aren’t even ashamed to admit.

he naps with you, which you’ve always dreamed of doing with a boyfriend, because, let’s face it: you’re boring, and you sleep more than a sloth. he’s a heavy sleeper, which makes you laugh, and you poke him or rest your head on his chest or whisper things to or about him while he sleeps because he won’t know about it anyway.

he gets you out of the house. even though all you ever want to do is lie in bed and sleep, or watch netflix and drive yourself insane from isolating yourself so much, he gets you out of the house. he gets you interested in things you convinced yourself a long time ago not to try. he shows you things you never had the energy to look for.

sometimes, you’ll find yourself scared, because your anxiety woke you up and told you that he doesn’t like you anymore, or that you’re annoying him, or that he’s leaving, and you ask him, almost every day, ‘do you still like me’, and he never seems bothered by this, even though you swear he is, and he always says ‘yes’, and you always smile and you'll find life a little less heavy.

even if, for one reason or another, the two of you don’t last forever, know that this is one of the happiest times of your life, and that you were okay, which is all the two of us ever wanted. you’ll still date those boys who hurt your feelings and make you feel small.

you and i both know that you can’t resist the temptation to see if the books and movies are true, though, and you’ll end up sad. you’ll ***** up. you’ll mistreat the people who care about you, and you’ll hate yourself, for a little while, but, the boy of your dreams will be there. he always was. that’s the boy you give your time and attention to; that’s the boy you choose: the boy who saw you at your lowest, and still chose you.

sincerely,
bigger you
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