No one
is ever sure
about you and me

So I guess
we'll be a theory
of love
in which everyone
has a different opinion
on what would prove
to be the most effective
way to proceed
from here

It will never be proven
and it will be
an unsolved mystery
where the author
doesn't give you a hint
of what might have happened

We'll be a theory
instead of a fact
because theories
can change
as I know
we will

Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless

because
every day
you:

count
the number of likes
you got on your selfie
to figure out the value
of your beauty,

write
perfectly formed tweets
to exude creativity and wit
you wish you
actually possessed,

read
status updates
from former friends
who always seem
to be doing something
exciting,

become curious
about the lives
of people
you've never met,
and

question
why you waste
your time
comparing yourself
to carefully crafted personalities
that exist only
for Internet audiences
they would otherwise
be too afraid
to address.

Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless.

I found myself
full
after a day
of starvation
and I look in the mirror
disgusted by
not only my external
appearance
but my inner demons
as well

We have thoughts
about everything
we come in contact with,
but I never saved
my better judgments
for me

Perhaps I have used up
too much kindness
on everyone else
until there is none
left
at the end of the day
to spread through my fingertips
onto the skin
I occupy
but cannot seem
to love

It can be said
that whatever you put in
is what will come out

So why is it
that I am not getting back
everything
I am putting in?

I was taught early on
that energy cannot
be created or destroyed

If I am giving you everything,
then you are not destroying it,
just redirecting the love
towards something
you care about more

I suppose I need
to account
for the negativity
I intake from you,
which would make my output
less than perfect

We are a water cycle-
you pour drinks down my throat
and I cry them back into your hands

Let's pretend
our equation is balanced
until I remember
what it means
to be my own pure element

Our greatest fear
is often
being wrong,
but what is so good
about being right?

People who are always right
never learn to get up
because they never fall down.
They never taste
the sweetness of victory
after their mouth was filled
with the sour taste of defeat.

People who are always right
learn by retaining,
not by doing.
They are simply sponges,
collecting data,
barely in need of their brain.

People who are always right
do not get rewarded
because no one cares
about the one-shot triumph,
if the five hundred tries
are more interesting.

We are afraid of being wrong
because we think it means
that we are weak.
Being wrong,
however,
really just shows
we are human.

There is nothing I regret

Not that time
I stormed out on the party
telling him I had nothing
left to give

Not the day
I didn't apologize
for treating her
like I was better

Not that night
I kept my mouth shut
when he crawled into bed
and we both knew I was mad
about something

Not that day
I finally let out
every thought
from every time
I had held my tongue

Not the many meals
I skipped
in fear of gaining
something other
than energy

I don't regret any of those times
because without them,
I would not have learned
that not all men love equally
and that some will leave you speechless
and others,
breathless

I would not have learned
that those who truly care
will not let you go

I would not have learned
that the best friends
you can have
are the ones that forgive you
when you do not speak

I would not have learned
that the mirror
is not the only one
that gets to decide
how pretty you are
or are not

I have learned
and I have grown,
so regret,
I do not

The way I think about you
on these days
is different

It is not the casual thoughts
I have about the way
you looked at me
that one time
we tried to study together

It is not the replaying
of when you kissed me
at the bottom of the stairs
that night everything
fell apart

It is not the daydreams
of how I might return to you
in just a few short days

It is when I get this feeling
deep in my stomach
that I think
would most commonly be paired
with the phrase,
I miss you

It is often on these nights
that I get to hear your voice
or in the following morning
when I wake up to see
that you tried to call

It is almost as though
I could sense our connection,
that maybe,
wherever you were,
you were missing me, too

I have always been
a good test taker
who can follow rules
that only apply
in timed intervals
that occur in rooms
with too-bright lights
and recycled air
that isn't circulating
around the heads of students
that, under normal conditions,
would radiate heat,
but now only emit stress

I have always been
good at rolling my eyes
(in all situations)
but particularly to those
who work themselves up
over means of evaluation
that, while they are determinant
of subsequent events,
do not measure your worth,
value,
or abilities in all areas

I have always been
poor at reminding myself
of these skills
when the tests I take
don't place me
in the same category
in which
I have always been

If only
I could take a holiday
from the life I am living
just to see what lies
on the other side
of the fence

I am almost positive
the grass would be greener
but I must see
to believe
and my brain and heart
have outgrown the confidence
I once wore

If only I could dress my mind
the way I dress my body-
then I would be surely proud
of the road
my feet have chosen to walk

First,
you'll stare at me
from across the room,
peaking my interest

Second,
you'll strike up
a casual conversation,
of which the topic
will be unimportant

Third,
you'll talk to me
at random intervals
so that I can never
figure you out

Fourth,
our conversations
will become a daily occurrence,
something I thrive on,
cannot live without

Fifth,
you will ask me
to spend time with you,
my heart will flutter,
I will politely decline

Sixth,
you will ask
over and over again
for even just an hour together
until I say yes

Seventh,
you will be
so easy to talk to
when surrounded by
empty space,
it will be the only thing
I think about

Eighth,
we will spend
increasingly more time together,
until all I manage to talk about
is you

Ninth,
you will kiss me
which will not be surprising
but the way it takes my breath away
will astound me

Tenth,
you will make
my heart stop
at the most unexpected time
and I will realize
I am in love

the sentences
in our romance novel
are laced
with the most distinct
punctuation
you might think
we changed the font

it is not perfect
because we were both always
struggling
to be the writers we wanted to be
but it's alright
the fundamentals are there

we might add in
more detail
just to be sure
the readers know
we are in love
and I hate to leave out
that time
your fingertips
grazed my knee
(what time was that?)
to compensate
for our differing memories

our chapters
do not match up
because we are reading
two versions
of the same story
written
by different authors

the only thing
blatantly missing
from our book
is the title

but isn't that
what most authors
do last?