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305 · Mar 2018
101
Merry Mar 2018
101
Radioactive dreams
Got me bursting at the seams
Life is strange as it seems
Neon confusions
Got me coming to conclusions
I undress the illusions

Love bombed lover
You can be replaced with another
Friends who ain’t friends
We all meet unsavoury ends
I’m a victim
To a system

We roll the dice,
Loaded like guns,
Against our luck
And we stare down snake eyes
As we tell ourselves some lies
About our ******* luck

Glitz and glamour
Sugary ******* and diamonds
Hundred-dollar bills
Become hundred-dollar fines
And hundred-dollar fines
Become one-dollar bills
They say don’t eat the rich
Because one day you’ll cannibalise yourself

There is an idea
Called the American Dream
And we’re just living in the fallout
Of such contagious, radioactive dreams
Merry Feb 2018
In darkened alleys and vacant parking lots,
Liminal spaces; an astral plane most physical
Broken bones, raw bruises, and blood clots
This is where I wish to throw the first punch; atypical
And insane, I just want to fight
Scuffed knuckles and bleeding noses, I’ve got some sort of plight
Where hatred turns to violence
Hungry blade in hand and dash of rogue; like a lioness
I’ve got to feed my body’s desire
This disturbing anger burns inside me like your funeral pyre

Poor, little girl with emotions on mute
Dreams and dreams of taking on the world
Come on, take me the **** on, deep down I’m a brute;
Brass knuckle dusters and a switchblade twirled
One look at you and it’s all weapons activated
All this rage facilitated
By the **** I take with a smile
As is the style
Of a lady too scared of dried blood consequences
Who feels too much with all her senses

But with the sun down and midnight rears its ugly head
Where moonlight trickles through tin plated shanties
That’s when the darkness is heavy as lead
In my heart, I feel the turmoil and I become a useless vigilante
Too drunk on violence to care for justice
And I got a lust for us

For us and a good and ****** fight
Just you, me, and my one-sided rage
Let’s knock you out like a ******* light
But maybe if we burn some sage
I’ll be purified of this urge
Because every time I see your pretentious face
I get this despicable desire to purge
You of this plane of existence
But Baby, that’s why you need to learn
Respect me or expect resistance
And deep down I yearn
That you never do
So I’ll be justified
When I get to throw the first punch; beating you black and blue
But just know I tried

I tried to lock up these feelings
Beneath a pretty and innocent smile
When my brain is Hell and I got my reasonings
And you’ll be my first trial
Of anger and violence
Where words fail and I don’t believe in silence
At least not until you’ve screamed
And in the afterlife that you’ve dreamed
301 · Sep 2018
Faith
Merry Sep 2018
You say your God is your rock and your light
But light can be blinding
And rock may roll
No longer do I feel faith
In an outback church house
Singing with the preachers
299 · Jun 2019
Hitch Hiker
Merry Jun 2019
I’m not lonely
But these roads are
Teeming with ants and birds soaring above
I drive on by, past them all and the clouds too

I’m not lonely
But this car is, this heart is
I miss the days when it was the other way around
When I had someone to chauffeur me

I dream of you
Standing in the tall yellow grass
Thumbs up and a cheeky grin
I don’t drive on by

I dream of letting you in
You laugh at the CDs I keep
All by your feet
But you like the music anyway

I ask of you, “Where you headed?”
You just laugh
And my cheeks turn red
But it’s not because of the summer sun

I sing with you
And you love the lyrics
To these old rock and roll songs
But we don’t part ways

I kiss you
Maybe not then
Behind a grimy windshield
But eventually

We don’t part ways
Instead, we keep each other company
In this dinged up white car
On grey-blue lonely roads

But you don’t exist
Not outside my mind
Not outside my heart
Not outside my words

So, I implore you,
That when we meet
I want our story to be
Of a happily ever after
And not a Twilight Zone episode

So,
Mister Hitch Hiker,
Do you reckon I can give you a lift?
289 · Feb 2018
Untitled 72
Merry Feb 2018
I had my fortune told
By a drunk girl
At a masquerade ball
She stank of sweet liquors
And spoke even sweeter
Dulcet divinity
In her blood red lips

Dreams which leave me breathless
And ******
But give me ideas
To push myself beyond
The world of the living
And immortalise my written words
Etch them on side walks
With pink and gold stars

Bored with a Ouija board
Tarot card symbolism drawn
On the back of a pizza box
Spirits and stars
Illuminate secret desires
In the constellations of my mind
And it comes with such strange musings
Penned in a book of shadows

Café crème cigars
Capnomancy on a lazy lakeside
Notebooks and noteworthy slothfulness
Swirls and curls in an azure sky
Modern mythology was thick in the air
I could feel the smile
Of the sun

Little lover on a hallowed eve
No miraculous kiss
Just words that meant something
But mean nothing now
Outside of a delayed fantasy
To tell wistful stories of

Fragile city streets
Cluttered with contemporary art
And gorgeous people
From all walks of life
Walking through mine
They seem to transient
For my liking
Compared to the dusty highways
That I’m used to worshipping the world at

Rock and roll radio
Two-dollar earrings
And fourteen-dollar sunglasses
Denim jacket bought expensive
With patches bought cheap
Licence plates dated from the eighties
And stated from the States of America
Stud the walls of a small-time pub
Graffiti on the bricks
Poetry and lyrics is how I get my kicks

I can feel it in the hot air
In the summer sun
Where I bask in imagined limelight
Just like I felt glory in her lips
And glory in his music
And glory in those cards
I can feel it within myself
My glory
My story
And it is a claim I shall take
It is my destiny
I'll give this a proper name one day....
281 · Feb 2018
Untitled 61
Merry Feb 2018
Sweet sixteen and never been kissed
Sweet seventeen and never been kissed
Effervescent eighteen and never been kissed
Nearly numinous nineteen and never been kissed

Upon a hallowed eve
Night of the sweltering, wintry heat
Night of the frigid, summery cool
Words fell out of my mouth

Gratefulness,
Thankfulness,
Feelings,
Memories,
Words
Trut­hfully
I no longer recall
In the morning after

It was…
An experience
Neither good
Nor bad
No more, no less
Perhaps one day something grand
Perhaps one day something insignificant

One ought to cherish
The flattery
Of a genuine girl
And one ought to cherish
The honour
The lovesick
Lovestruck
Lunacy
Of a genuine girl
Perhaps once in love
But not anymore
Not now
Not with the new year
So close
279 · Feb 2018
I'm Going To Punch A Clock
Merry Feb 2018
It’s the heat of the moment
The warmth of hatred and blood
Spilt in consequence of my opponent
Eternity itself and I land with a thud
Unable to do a thing because it's not real
One, three, five, seven, ten: it's all surreal
The clock on the wall, it’s no good
Unhelpful as it's always wrong
A shift in reality as told by a chunk of wood
Only right twice a day; the same old song
Out of power; no more battery
Inside of me in awakes: my all-out anarchy

What is a girl to a God?
I stand before the cusp of infinity
As person, I am deeply flawed
Too much rage contained inside of tiny femininity
Want to throw a punch but I’m too afraid
Of broken bones and ****** noses
One day I’ll part the heavens like Moses
Because from my terror I have strayed
And into the eyes of all
I shall make my fall

A descent against time
Tick, tock
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it
The clock sneers on the wall; a paradigm
Of all that I rage against on lock

Numbers fall and rise
In heavy breaths, only one creature tolls for time
And that would be us: mad humanity who toils for a dime
We construct buildings of an unimaginable size
Against the hour we call home
And all for a construct of capitalism
With everything and everyone on loan
Parts of varying brokenness in a great schism

Time and time again, they chide
But we’re the only ones who remember
With pen and paper, our memories are tied
To the treasures of our ancestor

Yet how strange I find the passing of time
We’ve normalised it so much yet it couldn’t be more alien

But I refuse
It’s all an illusion
273 · Feb 2018
Untitled 30
Merry Feb 2018
Dear First Star I See Tonight,
I have a wish to make upon your grace
You are of plasma and light
Burning, dying
Yet you listen to my materialistic lying

In truth, the wish I would like to beg of you
Is far more selfless
Or at least I hope it is

Is it too much to ask?
Of you, divine being in the sky?
Is it too much to ask?
Of them, of flesh and life

I want true companions
Through and through
Ages of peace
Ages of war
People to fight for
People to fight with
Where we meet each other’s edges softly
And click
Like puzzle pieces
Smaller components
To a larger whole

We’ll laugh
And cry
But it’ll be the sweetest bliss
For we were all made for each other
The way our atoms draw each other in
We’re all made from the same stardust
Trying to reignite the gorgeous flames we once had
Soul mates the way only soul mates can be

But is it too much to ask?
I must ask for it grows burdensome on my lonely heart
Which still strives in search of the other part
My wish that I send to the skies
Is a wish of true friendship;
Nothing more
Nothing less than the best
...That’s selfish, isn’t it?

Dear first star I see tonight
I desire no grant of materialism
I just want to be emotionally catered for
To the utmost perfection
Which is why, I wish to befriend you, dearest First Star I See Tonight

Aren’t you lonely?
Like me?
So, how about it?
Would you like to be my friend, oh dearest First Star I See Tonight?
267 · Feb 2018
I Lied To Flower Child
Merry Feb 2018
You lied,
Said Flower Child
To me
There is no escaping it
It is true
There is no flowery lie
The petals have fallen off
He loves you not

Hopes plucked
Much like the petals
You pluck
To divine
Questions and answers
Going around in circles
Like daisy chains
On your head like a crown

Despair in your eyes
Once gorgeous,
Now blank,
Once verdant,
Now dry,
For there is no love
There is no requite

I apologise,
Dearest Flower Child
But look
You have bloomed
You have changed
You have grown stronger
From allowing yourself to be weak
To be emotionally vulnerable
Heart fluttering
Like leaves in the wind scattering

And now,
Flower Child, please
It is time to regrow
Bloom brighter
Bloom stronger
Bloom longer
You will love again
The world is a garden
So, there is a good many more
Flowers for you to fancy
This is a sequel to my poem, Flower Child
262 · Feb 2018
The Hermit
Merry Feb 2018
The withered, old man in the dark,
The one they call The Hermit
By the silver moonlight, he wanders through
The night ever so thick with pervading questions, but hark,
He knows the answer; or will by dawn permit
Of his guiding light, by the endearing coo
As sung by birds; his only companions in this everlasting night
He will soon find answers that are ever so bright

Under this card’s influence,
You will seek to be yourself so you may follow the star
Of your own path to find enlightenment
By the lantern light, a mysterious sort of loneliness
It will take you near, it will take you far
Until all paths converge and the deliberation of judgement
Will take place
And you will find the face
Of all you need to know
And how you ought to place your pawns next; where you ought to go

I’ve often been called a pariah;
An odd little sweetie who thinks higher
Instead I watch on the outsider and grow bitter
As I wander, as I wonder, beneath night time glitter
Of the stars and moon and shine that I stroll through,
Once I emerge from my eternal night time, what will be new?
Will I have purpose or will I have pointlessly withdrawn?
If I emerge from my solitude at all, of course
There is the chance of no change upon
My body, my mind, my vitality’s force

Grown weak with questions,
My latest obsessions
There is no meaning
Not until I disturb the silence
And allow daylight gleaming
And other’s reliance
Into my pathetic excuse of a life
258 · Jun 2019
Best Friend's Ex-Boyfriend
Merry Jun 2019
I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made cry
I thought he looked like a rat
But there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

It’s been years since they had gone out
It’s been years since I had last seen him
But one night in a different town
By the fire on the front porch
Of a country pub
I catch up with him and his Slayer jumper
And suddenly, I can’t help but crush
On my best friend’s ex-boyfriend

I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made her mad
I hated his guts and she thought that was funny
But there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

I think they were still dating
When I realised that he had caught my eye
Something ridiculous since he made my blood boil
Yet by the beach, beer can in hand,
I was overcome by a sunset urge to kiss him
Right then and there, years after my best friend
Had dumped his sorry ***
But suddenly, I can’t help but crush
On my best friend’s ex-boyfriend

I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made her crazy
I thought he was sweet and kind
But something under the hood had broken down
So, soon enough they were through and through
But once again, there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

I didn’t really know him
Until they had gotten together
And when I hung out with him
I felt like we had more in common than
Her and him
Or me and her
So, when they were done but not yet dusted
A few months down the road,
When they were drunk on the pier
I couldn’t help but think to myself in the seaside dusk
There’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound
253 · Mar 2019
Pit Stone Politics
Merry Mar 2019
Get your politics from a roadside
And your pit stone fruits and honey, too
You didn’t raise your kids right
So, I won’t vote for you
243 · Jul 2020
black sheep
Merry Jul 2020
A loner and a renegade
In the city he had it made
It was a trick of the light
A deception I could never be right
I was caught up in his madness
To be loved at all was gladness
I wanted to hear it just that little bit more
His was a love like a convenience store
Apple pie: all artificial sugar to break my jaw
242 · Jul 2018
Stranger
Merry Jul 2018
The stranger on the street is scary
The stranger behind a tree is scarier
The stranger whom we do not see
Is scariest
228 · Jul 2020
Iron Maiden
Merry Jul 2020
I want to love you
Like an Iron Maiden
Loves a poor, unfortunate soul
I don’t want you to leave
My embrace, no matter,
How hurtful and ******
Merry Jan 2019
With sorrow on my brow
And simpering, whimpering lips
I have a question in my weak voice
Breathing so brittle, like bird bones
I am the mockingbird with a broken wing
Crying out; dying to sing

In highlands abandoned
Where the missing people do not visit
Wasted places decorated jagged glass
Grey and brown plains without end
There was once a paradise in this world
However, time changes all but this girl

Looking back to this realm I hailed from
Eyes glazing over with nostalgia
My heart breaks regarding the bitter fondness
I just want to go back to my verdant haven
Because I remember the olden days
And all halcyon, lackadaisical haze

In the glittering past
So mysterious and unreal
The choices which have led to the present
And, consequently, the bitter and quivering
Question in my fragile voice
Where do the kindred spirits live?

Because I used to know
But they’ve moved on
These precious, flickering lights
For whom I call and call for
For whom I yearn for the return of
222 · Sep 2018
Moon
Merry Sep 2018
Scant trace of red moon
A **** dripping blood and stars
Airy smell of smoke
207 · Jul 2020
Climbing Trees
Merry Jul 2020
I want to kiss his knuckles
His nails are neat but dirt dusted
His palms are red and raw
Fallen down, as high as he could on bark,
On his knees, teary eyed and in a heap,
The tree behind us, motherly and verdant,
Watches us kindly as I kiss her son
Kiss away his loneliness
Reward his thankless devotion
With sweetest dues
hi my name is Merry, I've been in love with a cartoon boy for 2 years now 😔
206 · Feb 2018
Judgement
Merry Feb 2018
One day the dead shall wake
And all the Earth shall quake
From the ruin, new life shall spring
And good news, the destruction shall bring
Amid the new life
Judgement shall purge strife

The good
The evil
The rich
The poor
The sick
The healthy

Awaking,
Appealing,
The reckoning hath come
With the world reeling
Before the holy might
Underneath a holy light

Both acceptance
And refusal
An apocalyptic happenstance
Facilitated by
Divine will:
Absolution,
A change of resolution,
A revolution,
Hailed by the triumphant call of a trumpet

Divided the fallen stand
Raising to their full height
Beneath the ruling gaze
Of an Angel
Of a God

But until the fallen stand
We must wait
With the weight
Of our sins
Casting our own judgements
Upon each other
We lash out
We cry
And we lie

Our own sort of entropy
Chaos
Achieved through order
We live,
We die,
We love,
We lose,
And one day
We may have it all
Or we may lose it all
But first we must stand
And then we must fall
So, we may rise once more
As per the bidding
Of Judgement
Of those whom we do not know
205 · Aug 2018
Magpie
Merry Aug 2018
Birds croon in the sky
Fearsome claws stabbing
Ornithophobia
200 · Mar 2018
Fame
Merry Mar 2018
Fame is in famine
Too many people
With too small a mind
Choke the celebrity industry
187 · Feb 2018
Fair
Merry Feb 2018
She's a fair-weather friend
She has fair hair
And a fair complexion
She has a fair mind
I see her at the fair
Where she fairs just fine
Because her fares are unfair
185 · Jul 2020
Shine
Merry Jul 2020
Diamonds shine, yes, that's true
But so does sunshine off a shoe
So does cheaper glitter
And the pristine fangs of a critter
And holographic paper
You're not special
You're just a lie
found this in my drafts. no idea when i wrote it.
181 · Apr 2018
present tense
Merry Apr 2018
**** the future
The present has me tense
The past is post present
Today is tomorrow
And yesterday is yesterday
178 · May 2018
Ichor
Merry May 2018
Violet delights
And sweet iridescence
Dreams lost in the aether
Oh, what a marvellous life
176 · Feb 2018
Untitled 65
Merry Feb 2018
Sipping
Assorted sins and vices
Whiskey, gin, brandy:
Whatever tastes good
Tastes alive in my mouth; like a cemetery

Watching
The prismatic shadows
Of the moon
Through stained glass
Stained like tears on our cheeks

Hey there, my love,
How did we come to this place?
And this time?
You are trying to understand
I told you
Something grave

Death of a brother
Death of a bond
And the responsibility
Lies in my lie

I hadn’t meant to hurt you
Much like alcohol
Numbs the mind
I wanted to
Numb your heart
not based on true events
170 · Oct 2018
Dusk
Merry Oct 2018
Darling, until the morning
We could have it all
Darling, from dusk until dawn
You and I, we could have it all
Darling, from now until eternity
You and I: we could have it all
Because what a wonderful
Night to have it all; just you and I
Because what a wonderful
Night to die
146 · Sep 2018
System
Merry Sep 2018
I only think in the form
Of paint by numbers
Guided by the animatronic hand
Of those who create us
And prevent us from
Rising up against the system
And colouring outside the line

— The End —