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aviisevil Mar 2014
You stand alone waiting for someone
Heart in your arms and tear in your eyes
Fairytales taught you that he's the one
But the sun is up and sky is clearing of the lies

I too sing with a broken heart
So let me show you that you're not alone
We walk upon the same road
With the touch of love in our every bone

You can bury it all with just a smile and deny
But I can see it hidden deep inside your eyes
The time is up and everyone's gone with sunrise
And I know somewhere inside you've realised


That he is never coming to get you
Oh baby, will you still carry that heart of stone
He was never the one meant for you
Oh baby, I know you feel more than just alone





Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake




I know your folks never did accept
For you to be involved with a married man
But they never knew you were in love
And you never tried to make them understand

You wanted to be his lady in white
And he always told you to wait for him some more
You waited for him all these years
And one day he told you he didn't love you anymore


As you walk upon the broken glass
It still hurts you more in that bleeding heart
You think you can still walk away
But baby you will never ever reach that far

Oh, tell me more about this pretty love
All i've known is somebody always gets hurt
For some a blessing, for some a curse
And I can hear this echo around the world




Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh, those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake




Oh tell me, now you tell my pain  
All you happy folks of the love struck town
Does the shine always remain  
Or in the end everyone has to step down

Does the winds push you back
Whenever you let go of that one loving hand
Do the scars still howl at you
In the hurt of the world where you now stand

I know what they say about this love
It's only beautiful till the dreamy night it lasts  
Even when the sky is cleared of smoke
You keep on believing lies in the depth of your heart

Oh, tell me more about this pretty love
All i've known is somebody always gets hurt
For some a blessing, for some a curse
And I can hear this echo around the world




Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh, those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake
Notes (optional)
323 · Apr 2014
heart shaped stains
aviisevil Apr 2014
She asked me if i was a man,
She couldn't see the monster in the mirror
I was afraid that she'll **** me
So i let her whisper
Her every breath left a mark on my skin,
And i could feel the monster waking within,
Her beautiful eyes on me
Made me sing
A song that made her smile,
In the dark as i softly weep
I caress her,
And watch her fall asleep
I stare at her,
As she bleeds
Where was fate gone,
When we decided to meet



But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask


When I'm around her i feel so weak,
Just one touch and I'll fall apart
Why can't i make a ****,
It was never this hard
With every hit she withers away,
I can't see in moonlight
She reaches for me,
folds of sheets so white
And i know I'll be lost
For the rest of the night
It feels like heaven
And i have died
She lies on a bed of thorns,
Made it paradise
And i know she can see me,
With her closed eyes


But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask


She rests in my arms,
I could easily snap her neck
But i know I'll never reach
So i stand back
And i know she's dreaming about me,
But all i am is a nightmare
I know we can never make it now,
there she is, everywhere
Everywhere i see ,
There's this scent she brought with her
She asked me if i was a man,
She couldn't see the monster in the mirror


But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask
Hey wait,
i don't know what to say
Everything is stained in the shape of her heart
Notes (optional)
323 · Dec 2015
here without you
aviisevil Dec 2015
you were the one
now you are just someone
you were the one I was waiting for
now I've given up trying
and I know that you don't mind
maybe it's time for me to let you go
but I don't know if I can
there's a lot I don't understand
what were you waiting for
there's nothing but this hurt
you weren't even in love
and I can't take it anymore

so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you



you were there
now you have disappeared
and I can't see through this smoke
I wonder if I cared
when you were still here
now every thought pains and choke
I loved you so much
now I know there is no thing as such
I guess you must have always known
there's nothing left to say
you don't have to stay
I know how it feels to be left so alone


so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you
so in love with you
321 · Oct 2015
the reason of your pain
aviisevil Oct 2015
how do you feel when she just goes away
and you keep wondering why she didn't stay
how do you feel when she just forgets
and you start living your life in regrets
what happens when she even forgets your name
instead of love all you get is pain
and as the time goes by
you think you are going insane
and there's nobody to help you
nobody to wipe off that stain
and what do you do when you're just left alone
every night you pray but in the morning you're still on your own
how do you feel when someone you love doesn't loves you back
but still you go on giving them everything you have
you keep thinking about them all night and day
they just take you by the heart and throw you away
how do you breathe when you feel so used, back-stabbed and abused
you kept thinking about making it all alright
but now you are confused, no one can help you, not even you
what happens when she looks in your eyes and see herself
but when you look back in hers it's somebody else
its so ******* painful, you wish you could die
but you promised yourself that you will never cry
but what happens when every promise turns out to be a lie
and people who you would've died for, don't even care if you die


what happens when you know
you can never let go
and the one you love so much
doesn't even know
you keep telling yourself
that its all gonna change
but you know in your heart
It will always be the same
you know you are alone
and will always remain
what happens when love becomes
the reason of your pain
Notes (optional)
321 · Feb 2016
Fire.
aviisevil Feb 2016
I wish I was never cold
not blue that my eyes were sore
infected with words and more
with every bite a tear is sold
wailing in circles
about a scar never told
I am standing in this vastness
with my own sorrows
young and old
when eyes draw laughter
from the smile my face stole
I don't think anymore
there is no happy ending after
since I've been stuck here
in emptiness that grows
all across this world I live
in places I never saw
with everything beautiful
and ones with their flaws
withering in this winter
far from the summers gold
when old tales are the law
no one can silence their blindfold
I wish I wasn't so cold
but then
sunshine would eclipse the dark
I would see them
in the dark of my heart
comfortable
and I will burn
321 · May 2023
what colour is autumn?
aviisevil May 2023

the day
is lost

i sit in
defeat

it's a lonely
place

of fractured
memories

and boarded
windows

there's
nothing
to do

the world
must keep
spinning

until i fall
asleep

it stops
for no one




320 · Dec 2017
tiny room, whiny gloom
aviisevil Dec 2017
searching through the pages,
reaching for the faded, hate it,
when the words speak back to me,


a room full of empty spaces,
there's this gloom inside of me,
and i hate it, wait for it, don't say it,
there's a world where it will forever be

every thought you whisper,
there's a place and time
to rot and wither,
don't mind the intrusion,
there's no illusion, only
confusion and this winter,

no delusion for the sinner,

if there's a she,
fill her

if there's a he,
**** her

don't do the math,
you'll go mad, don't look at
the man in the mirror,
there's nothing to understand,

what's gold will glitter
what's good will trigger
what's god fill figure out,
how to deal with dealers,

how to steal from stealers
there's no way to know about,
if we'll ever manage to heal her,
now that there's no dealer,

and we can't deal her,
what if he needs her ?

the man's age is not
what kills the *******,
the face can fade, can fake,
but not fool the reader,

there's so much to forsake,
you're so mistaken, if you think
you've taken more than you can
make, there's no heaven,

they don't tell,
but there's no hell

nobody left here to sell
no god nor satan,

so be lost or search for
a safe haven, there's this
urge inside of me to purge,
to lust and love, to ****** the
order and trust my imagination,

i want to feel the rush,
there's nothing as such, as much,
as a touch of annihilation,

there's more to the equation,
my mind is done with invasions

i need something more to grow
in this winter, something sinister,
to sow them seeds and linger,


to know when to bleed and
trick her, she already knows
too much so, breaker-
break her, he wasn't made for her,
so, take her, taker, give her back,
no giver, grieve for her,
don't leave her,

paint her, oh, painter-
paint her black,
if you breathe her,
she'll just make you sad,
don't treat her bad,
she's a reaper, she'll reap you
in pieces,

so let go and don't feed it,
don't feel it, you'll get used to it,
get confused by it, you'll know
when to get abused by it,
you'll know when to let yourself
be fooled by it, in a heart-beat,
only to repeat it,

the pain don't keep it,
the name, burn it,
if you see something strange
learn it, you won't earn ****,
but at least the leash won't be
on it, on here, on my neck,

on air, speaking torment,
screaming scared-
sacred fears and lies, with
fractured lips and eyes,

say hate and die
so, wait and pry-

don't burn the pages
don't turn the spaces
there's nothing in-between,


this world, it's faded-
my eyes red, and so sedated,
my head filled with smoke,
oh, how much i hate it-
when i start to lose control,
to find, nothing had ever been,

and it was all a dream,

there's always something
to scream,
there's always a place for me
to linger,
these words, they ink on me,
and i wither,

of all that they say to me, they
don't mean, what they seem-
as they whisper,

spring and winter,
they just don't talk

with all that love untold,
kept in a box of a paradox,

stop.

rot.

triggered.
320 · Jul 2014
Hush, little child. Dream.
aviisevil Jul 2014
Hush, little child
Put your head down and sleep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.

Hush, little child
Put your head down and weep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.



Let them make a fool out of us,
Strangle us, hurt us,
Tell us it's all in the name of love,
All in the name of their god
Let them silence us, enslave us,
Tell us they are our lords
And make us, to break us,
Into the hollow of our ground
Push us back till the edge,
Till we scatter and break down
No more will we scream our names,
But a deathly song of dread and cold
Lured into their empty steel cage,
Prisoned in the depth of our soul,
No more will we tread the weather,
Afraid of the storm and the rain
There shall be no more respite,
As we fall in an abyss all over again
Falling apart in every breath,
Too brittle to carry our own scars
Across this ocean of hurt and despair,
We've trapped our own hearts
For them to rule us all,
To be the kings and queens of us
And create us our world,
With their every touch
Empty vessels to fill with fear,
A pet in need of a monster
To be led straight into a pit
We'll never be our own masters,
For we blind fold ourselves
To hide from the world within,
Take the blade and kiss it
And Make our tears on our skin
To remind us who we are,
What we are, to them and the world
To feel like the king himself,
To find ourselves in gems and pearls
And breed our fears and pain,
To be swept off our feet in chains
Hanging by a noose,
To bleed till everything drains
And be empty of our conscience,
Our thoughts will never be our own
No matter how far we may run,
Our steps will forever be alone
But they will always lead us,
To find ourselves
Far away in the wonderland,
We'll make our home.




Hush, little child
Put your head down and sleep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.

Hush, little child
Put your head down and weep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.
Bla bla and bla
320 · Jan 2018
apocalyptic
aviisevil Jan 2018
stuck in a vortex,
a void devoid of any voice

a noise poised in a pause,
lost in thoughts,
caught in a rot,
making pretty children
out of clay,

hold your breath
don't run,

there's an ugly
out break far away

stay inside and keep warm
slay in style and feed worms

delay the sky from
deliverance, and seed storms,

so that the black eye
and the black dye

can read between the lines,
of all the things in my mind

dreams and memories
howl the most,

between sharks and owls,
i stay awake,

in the forests, by the trees,
beneath the oceans,
under siege,

and i wonder
i wander
for the famine to leech
and bleach away the surface

the complex layer,
that ever was,

and cradle me
in the depths of its conscious

where even the simplest
of universe makes sense,

not like this room
here, and her cold walls

not like the empty chair,
questioning an existence

nor the winds, that screams
against the window,

this grey and moist
and cold and ugly
and away and destroyed
and sold and ***** place,
keeps a face

in the mirrors,
and its peoples

with arms, legs and hearts

made to catch me
and latch onto me,

between smoke and
the vapour
bleeding me dry,
as i lie to myself

that it's only on the paper.
is it just me, so weird ?
318 · Jun 2015
disappearing
aviisevil Jun 2015
i wouldn't know where to begin, or how to end,
all I have are words, of pain and love to seed.
i am my own master, slave, enemy and friend,
in my hurt, I have more tears than I can bleed.
would you be my friend ?
so I can cry
because I've been withering for a long time
there've been so many lies
and I have forgotten which were mine
there's nothing in coming morrow
yesterdays make my heart sick
and when I do try to remember
i don't have any memory to begin with
everything fades as it is born
burning into ashes
as black as my heart
full of scars
and walls
slowly falling apart
I'm rotting
I am rotten
who the **** am I ?
have I really forgotten?
can someone find me someday
or have I gone too far
i watch the sand in the glass
grain by grain
and hour by hour
waiting for the day to end
so I can be lost
beneath the stars
and not even my shadow
can find me
in this hollow
i can't even see me
all I feel are the tears
and before dawn
they'll too disappear
This world isn't for all of us
317 · Jul 2015
oblivion
aviisevil Jul 2015
all I have are words
in this world, of hurt and love
In all the ways I am cursed
i still find an ocean above
raining down, ash and dust
every breath, in my every death
from the dawn till dusk
as I bleed to become someone else
losing myself, In the skies I rust
beneath the shadows and stars
in my scars I see it unfurl
another design,
to nurture my ****** hurt
ticking hours tricking my hurt
as I watch another rust
in those broken mirrors
a stranger fades with a touch
Notes (optional)
317 · Nov 2014
propaganda slaves
aviisevil Nov 2014
In this dark and demoralising time
Herds of sheep walk along in a line
Deaf and numb reeling in despair
Look at the pawn shops , they've sold their minds
Instead buying a propaganda of lies
Too blind to see , too dumb to realise
They are the Soldiers of faith
The army of hypocrite eyes
And they march on , left and right
Straight to the moon
In the shadows they hide , as they walk to the doom
Puppets in the hands of the lords
Rage and fury are the new gods
As they open their infant mouth in their names
As they bestow their misguided enlightenment
To be a part of this game
They are filled with words and a thousand sentences
They feed on the present and forget the consequences
And leave their caves only in the time of unification
A part madness , a part hallucinations
And they march on and oh they march on
The soldiers of fate , the army of hypocrite eyes
Straight for the moon
And not even one stands up to steer them of the inevitable doom...
Notes (optional)
317 · May 2016
Somewhere in nothingness
aviisevil May 2016
Mostly i've said nothing
i've felt nothing
meant nothing
nothing at all
nothing in my mind
I'm a prisoner
and the walls
remind me sometimes
about rain
when tears fall
nothing that can suffice
and i've learned
to never ask the price
i'm nothing
like ice
turned water
losing my identity
the key
of self
in isolation i breathe
and yet i can taste
the outside
just lingering beyond
my thoughts
those i have caught
between my dreams
painting echoes
bursting through
mind and space
into the emptiness
I've so fell in love with
my shelter
and answer to my prayers
an oasis
that isn't there
fooling me into believing
that i have something to lose
somewhere
in this nothingness
316 · Dec 2015
only a dream
aviisevil Dec 2015
I will miss you
you will haunt me
I will suffocate
now that you're not with me
memories will fade
in ash and dust
and the tale that we made
will begin to rust
beneath stains of time
by the scars left behind
my heart is lost
and there's only you on my mind
shaping a million whispers
that you no longer want me
voices haunt me
the silence wants me
and all my suffering
lead me back to you
as your aura withers
I wither too
in pieces and shards
part by part
back into emptiness
and in this hollow I can hear
what I never knew before
and after all my tears
you were never here
it was all a dream
and I'm awake no-more.
315 · Jun 2015
winters roar
aviisevil Jun 2015
he saw them marching,
as the golden rays kissed
a solemn good-bye
he was there still, standing-
in that late winter
when even gods  
seemed to have died
he saw them riding,
with their spears and shiny armour
the silence drowned the noise
and suddenly,
it became calmer
he could hear his mother whispering,
old dreams and a spring  
men behind him screaming
he heard them call a king,
With rugged and torn shields
they made their way forth  
a shadow slowly approaching
and he raised them his sword
a roar through the mountains
for here cometh the lords
into the shiny armour and spears
Into claws of the beast
either way
there'll be a feast
so he stood his ground
as the shadow covered them
in that dark to drown  
they laid on the ground
They laid in pieces
Sleeping for the crown
Nothing remains now
only a howl in a winters breeze
And if you close your eyes
you can still feel them breathe
blood and tears,
Roaring for a thousand years.
Notes (optional)
314 · Oct 2014
the barren sky
aviisevil Oct 2014
Silent memories,
Moments - seasons untold.
Burned thoughts and diaries,
Torment - reasons unfold.
Unspoken remembrance,
An essence-
Forgotten in span of time.
Invincible resistance,
Of all those reasons-
That were once left behind.
How come they never remind,
Of the path we sought-
And we could never find.
Fumes of burned morrow,
Scarring us in our yesterday-
Made us blind.
Of all those wounds-
Some that will never heal,
Where the only ones that did bind.
In depths a story hides,
Where the words lie.
In dark of our conscience,
Invisible to the naked eye.
Whence the whispers howl,
A corpse comes back to life.
Happy days and lonely nights
- speaks of serenity and strife.
In a loop of unbreakable visions,
That haunts every inch of a heart.
To be remembered for the last time
And then again,
Before it slowly falls apart-
And is made once again,
In a different name-
But the same story,
That will never change.
Spring makes way for the winter,
As them past years wither.
Weathered upon by the bleeding-
Voices and a feeling so strange.
In this barren land,
How come it never rained-
Though the dark clouds,
Have always been all across the sky.
Notes (optional)
313 · Oct 2018
you won't tell me I won't
aviisevil Oct 2018
we do things, we say things and so we breathe,
we love things- far away things, and so we bleed-

some blue things, some red ones, and some come with ink,
some done in dusk, some burn to dusk, some are green-

some new ones, and the old ones, and some with the sheen,
turned into a few guns, two bullets- one cold sun,
and one with a dream.

and I do things, i f*ckin' say things, and so i greed,

i brew in ink and then i glue my sins, i sew the smoke rings- and then I grieve;

i confuse things- in a few drinks, and the smoke will be freed

so, I can feed- forever, going 'round in circles.  whatsoever for, sleep ?
313 · May 2014
Season Of Hurt
aviisevil May 2014
Sound of rain filling empty spaces of this cold dark room,
As i sit alone, wondering if the ensuing struggle can clear the sky
The night is lonely, as the clouds have hid the moon
And i find myself awake as thunder spits out white lies

I stand by the window, staring at the beautiful darkness
As a void slowly fills itself and quenches its thirst
I feel complete, yet i can't fight the approaching nothingness
And help myself from feeling isolated in this season of hurt

I can feel the fragrance of ice cold water kissing the land
To be made into puddles of dirt that will dry out tomorrow
This carnival of nature does something to a man
Brings out the tales and forgotten passages of his sorrows

And yet i feel the pain disappear behind the shadows
Detached, they slowly conquer depth of every invisible wall
Eyes laid upon the shape-shifting reflections in the mirror
synchronized with the bright lights, as the rain falls

I hear beyond the lurking darkness, in flashes all i see
Breaking away from this world, a traveller all i want to be
Roar of the gods and the cries of the slaves
Out of prison, every looming thought fights to be free

Winds bring forth a message from the whispering trees
As they stand alone, shivering in thunders breath
Howling at the olden lanes, down pours a sea
As every cross-road holds in itself a waterfall of death

And i watch every droplet fall and crash in pieces,
Some make their way to the corner of my eyes
As they trickle down to the edge of my lips
I smile, for i know i will be alive for a while

Sweet scent of the dying moments hypnotise me
As I swim blind towards the memories ocean
Engulfed in a blanket of solitude and calm
I let myself be shred to pieces as i walk out in the open
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Mar 2019
wake, i'm waiting in my sleep
hate me if you have to,

here have two,
take this and blind me,
and tell me so-

do you still love me ?
love me in everyway i need you to
i need you to fill me,

blue and through, me and you
confused by the passing afterthought

i'm going back and forth
glancing at the hands of the clock
why don't you fall into my arms
and make the tick tock go away

we can sit and talk
about life and so much more
all you have to do is be here

and all you have to do
is hear me sing your name

so come before i wake
and the poison leaves my veins

run to me before the sun
swallows my hate for you

and these hollow words
paint us into a new story

that a billion years from now
won't even matter

the forever we promised
broken into pieces
that no one will ever gather

what does it take
for the dreams to be strung together ?
such that they never break
no matter how many times we do


and such is the weather
the sky grey and the winds with blues
how much of mind does one need
to feel better ?

when it's never going to be your day ?


for the heart's been broken
since the day we said our good-byes

and we're all just drops in an ocean
watching the land drift away beneath
our feet,

away from our eyes-
and all the hunger we seek,

so just a moment more
i need to find you in my head

just a moment more
and then we'll all be dead

and i can go back to sleep

©writeweird
**** it.
310 · Jun 2023
crowded
aviisevil Jun 2023

they sought me in whisper
in colours they could find

they painted of me a picture
of a man bitter and confined

they found me in winter
a song frozen in time

they caught me - a sliver
symphony of the mind

they bought me in silver
treasure of the divine

they divide me in scripture
then imprison me in science

they cast from me a river
of melancholy and wine

they ask of me a mirror
to show them they're blind



aviisevil Aug 2016
I'm not wise,
and as soon as I start writing this
I'll be at loss for words.
something beyond me will always hurt,
but I don't have to bother much,
only a touch
and all will be forgotten.

for the rotten, and my name.
I've gone insane,
repeating the same mistakes,
expecting the world to change.
it's so strange,
how the mirror never changes
its reflection.

I know I'm crazy,
that's not the point I'm trying to make.
it's not about how much there is,
for me, there's no affection,
towards the unfortunate.

my soul will burn
and my trace will fade
another page shall be turned
as soon as the previous is erased.

I've longed for separation,
rejection,
and all the beautiful things inbetween.

perhaps I'm obsessed,
for my well being,
what heart,
when I'm not even willing to be a human being.

they ****, they cry and have tears.

broken things left to wander in the darkness of their own design,
I resigned,
a long time back,
before I could have any hope to find,
the fairytale I was looking for.





broken things by a lonely night,
they speak so much.
aviisevil Dec 2015
the lonely man plays the symphony of ages,
and ash drifts in the air like a winter song.
an angel sits by them stars; far away from a mortals reach,
and the road to the end feels so lost and long.




I keep you sheltered in my soul,
scattered pieces too brittle to hold.
I feel your longing, I feel my cold.
that sets in every corner; there's no place left to hide no more.

trees sway in the autumn breeze; bare and naked, dark and old.
the man plays on the symphony,  as the angel begins to cry.
her tears raining down from the night sky, piercing through the mans soul.
far from the horizon you can see a star fall and die.


I will feed on our memories and the thirst will never end,
only fuel the torment burning deep within.
my mind is going in a hundred different directions,
I don't know how much more I can keep it in;
before I become a monster.





the symphony tears through the emptiness of the sky,
and the angel begins to fall in the rhythm of his heart,
as the symphony played, there were no more truths and lies;
only hell and heaven, night and day, life and death to keep them apart.




nothing will remain of us as we move away,
maybe it's true, it wasn't me and you; but we have nothing to remind us with,
it wasn't the world, it wasn't our hurt,
tears of love; tears for love did it.
306 · Dec 2015
a love story
aviisevil Dec 2015
it is ironic how the same people who preach about love are the ones who turn out to be monsters in the end,
to divide and rule along the lines my friend.
perhaps, it is only a tale of human suffering and nothing more;
everyone and everything suffers.
time itself will wither mountains and the Sun.
mere mortal elements of an immortal soul will bring down an empire;
the seed will grow into another fire.
lurking beyond the shadows are creatures of the dark;
spanning the barren lands consumed by the poison
and the dear ones near and far.
machines breathing ash and fire screech through the walls,
the rain falls and yet, the colour doesn't fades away,
the world is grey and has been from the age of dawn,
for everything born is evil;
and only a mother shall ever mourn.
children will devour the gods to fulfill their fantasy,
the power will bleed into the wounds of the ones gone and ugly.
pharaohs will guide the leash and unleash the thunder;
on one and for all.
the sky will fall and the sea shall rise, the ones who preach about love always pay the price.
nothing is without gravity in this world;
young and old both shall die,
it is ironic how nothing will ever matter even though love never dies.
it only kills.
305 · Dec 2015
painaradise
aviisevil Dec 2015
this pain
it makes you wonder..
would you have ever known
how alive the world is
full of life
if we were never born
if it wasn't for this pain
in the depth of your heart
by the tears in your eyes
in our dreams and lies

smiles and scars

how would we've ever known
they were always
telling us something
that we would lose it all
in just one blink
they knew our hurt
what we couldn't spell
in our whispers and words
that we've known hell
lost ourselves

it casts a spell

this love
is a weapon
even though when it hurts
this pain
it makes you wonder..
about heaven
303 · Oct 2017
A dying poet
aviisevil Oct 2017
how do you write
things you want to tell
paint them with colours
by words, them heaven and hell.


fill it up with something
beautiful, something that
won't hurt the reading eye


how do you describe
a feeling, a feeling
you would rather hide.








is it strange to seek
a home without walls ?







is it not the normal-
to breed comfort and
a smile, in a world
you don't fully understand.


what about those scars-
those which make you,
you.


and what do you see,
when you see a sea of blue-
an ocean or the sky ?


birds or fish,
is it selfish to see
what you'd rather see
in a sea, that has nothing
to offer.


i remember when the laughter
used to fill the vacuum,
and i could breathe, as free
and as clear as on a mountain,
miles away from the pollution
down below.


hello. are you still there ?
do you hear me screaming,
do you hear me dying.


how low, is the rock bottom.
i've been falling for a while.


or is it that, i'm flying ?
302 · Nov 2020
in her sleepy frost
aviisevil Nov 2020
.




dreaming,

she sits by the cogs, turning
fog into mist

in midst of an autumn, caught in
arms of abyss,

in her sleepy frost, where her
winter sits,

where her wilderness clots
in melancholic conflict

hung by the clocks, and rocks,
in bones, and sticks,

an ocean's worth of rot, no
mortal can sip,

in her drowsy gaze, in her
dreamy drift;

she sits in her loss,
lost in her solemn bliss,

screaming.






.
I was sad. so, here's something sad.
302 · Jun 2016
God?
aviisevil Jun 2016
Dear god, why don't you love me
a little more than I deserve
why is that you're invisible
why be so reserve
Show me yourself now
or I will forget I believe
I'm just talking to myself
am I not ?
maybe I should leave
only an empty space and nothing more
it's all just science and facts
but I still hope you are there
for whenever that panic attacks
but why not be my father?
why won't you love me like a mother?
is there someone else more deserving
do you love me less than some another?
so why must you be my king ?
I'm just wondering
I've done ******* and it's awesome
that means you're on something different
and better
so why don't you share it together
why must I wait forever
only to die in your name
tell me
you don't feel any pain
you don't feel my anger ?
do you even know my name
have you seen tears of my mother
why must I praise you
when I haven't even seen your face
oh, don't tell me you're everywhere
I won't play that game in my heart,
that's just not the place
for when it is broken
you won't mean nothing
for every door that wasn't open
something died within
those pieces are lost now
buried behind a thousand walls
do you think it is only my fault,
that I don't believe in you at all?
301 · Jul 2017
Seconds
aviisevil Jul 2017
i still miss you more everyday,
now that you're not here and m-ine.
such a fool, that i thought you'd stay
but i was so young at that t-ime.

now i don't have much to say,
since we went our way and left us behind.
sometimes i still find tears, and pray,
but i know love's not an exact science.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




there's something in the morning sk-y,
that makes me want to keep shut my  eye,
if i don't dream i know i will die,
if i don't ever scream you won't know, that i tr-y.

now everything else is just escaping my head, and i'm wondering about l-ife-
if i'll ever understand it, before it leaves me for dead.

i don't need this day, i want to go back to bed, i feel so wrong-
i wish all my troubles would go away, if i keep my eyes shut for a little long.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




back to home and i feel so lonely,
what do you do when you lose your only ?.

i've seen the movies, and i know there are so man-y,
but if i had to choose i won't choose an-y.

for all of my heart is whispering in one vo-ice,
if i'm really made for it, do we really have a ch-oice ?
is there something else out there for me too, other than this all void ?

is it just the pain, or am i,
am i too old to take a fall ever again ?


[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]
300 · Jun 2017
looking in the mirror
aviisevil Jun 2017
there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too
300 · May 2018
Circling Pluto
aviisevil May 2018
not everybody dreams about the sky,
some dream about the deepest
depths of an ocean.

sure you can wake up everyday
for the rest of your life before you die,
but you have to die, and that deal
cannot be broken.

it's upto you, so you decide,
don't leave it up to fate or fancy
unreasonable emotions,

there's so much to this world,
now that you are here, everywhere,
out in the open.
300 · Jul 2016
Little Aliens In My Mind
aviisevil Jul 2016
melancholy sits on the pavement,
on a cold autumn day.
enjoying the music of a thunderstorm,
screaming.
dreaming about the winter yet to come,
become grey.
submerged to the tunes of a dark morning that is seeding,
beyond what any words can convey or design.
watching the elements of the sky growing and leaving,
how silently this picturesque nothing
captures the lonely corners of my mind.





have you ever seen a mountain break down in fear ?




let us pretend that we are all meant to suffer for choosing who we are,
and what we become, isn't that just the product of our scars ?
let's talk ourselves into buying new clothes and shiny blingy machines,
bright and cold screens to hide the ugly definition of this world,
or let us find a book that will repay us our words worth;
tears pouring over and wetting the beautiful pages of a magazine,
our eyes gazing at the beautiful bodies and rich flavours,
ignoring the red rose shining happily in the sun's gaze just outside by the road,
how many times have you felt the touch of something sharp..
and felt the need of cutting your throat ?
as always my mind means no harm, but it keeps buzzing with a thousand thoughts;
I know I'm decaying thanks to science, but I'm awaiting my conscience to rot.




I want to be free,
I want to ****.




the stark darkness in loneliness feeds on the forgotten whispers yet to concede a child, a labour of filth, of guilt, and all the things in between.



It's so dangerous to be human sometimes.



human ?



I've forgotten what they mean by it.


I'm so delusional.



Somebody throw me under the bus.


****.

Luck.


I make no sense.



Why am I supposed to be so random ?


Is it pointless to be crazy ?



don't ask me, don't look at me.
I'm so ugly.
You're so pretty.
an angle to my stranger.
stronger than my anger.
As I strangle,
my words once more.



Did you hear me ?
Yeah, I've lost it
299 · Aug 2015
off-topic debacles
aviisevil Aug 2015
I saw a revolution in the sky
someone said it was all a lie
there is something wrong in my eyes
he hopes I die, I think..
I think I saw him cry too
but would something like this
Happen to maybe, you
are you still confused between
what is going on around you
and if this world really is just a dream
when the sky isn't so blue
now why don't you all
gather behind in line like slaves
cave in to the depths of greed and sin
tumble down the pile we all have made
washing our hands with so many grins
whilst silence whispers of those
who were wise enough to let us in
down on the path of weak and brave
till we ate all their hearts from within

there is only one who can stand atop
and all must feed down from him
there is no stick, curse or a rock
that can reach his mighty wings
only his own journey back to civilization
another melancholic song for a mad nation

thumping their green against the barren sky
wearing the world that has been broken and taken
its clouds and rivers swallowed by the howling smoke
for some colours so many rainbows had to die
painted in white and black all across the border
you can hear a lonely mother cry
in the middle where the old tangled veins choke
the mercy of a poison, painting blunders far and wide
the old burnt banner in the middle of dying corpses spells hope

it has been raining blood since that late night
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Nov 2017
i don't remember
the voice i found so
beautiful, a while ago,
nor do i recall the warmth
that ruined me for any
winter to come

now it doesn't grow-
what you made me become
the night and horror
comes and goes,
but it is, now just this
another thing,
with a scar on her skin

when i tasted the lows,
i wasted all my sins-
i remember the choice,
but no voice, it's a while since
i heard anything sing

i remember
more than i miss,
i reminisce-
caught in my thoughts
to rot, and in draught,
a desert to suffice-
my thirst for what
i don't remember at all-
and my vice

there are walls,
as tall as the universe
and as mighty as,
the distance, an invisible
resistance, now that the
world is more dangerous-
for it burned down my
world, for being too humble-

i can barely mumble,
your presence across the
years i have withered,
but i remember, a december
you were still a part of me

is that all it takes,
to be entangled-
enchanted forever ?

there will still be
a heart, in somewhere there,
if you take apart all of me
we're all the same.
299 · Aug 2015
her
aviisevil Aug 2015
her
i want to hold you, touch you
still believe that you are here
there can be no me without you
how i wish you were still near
so i can breathe you, love you
in my dreams, we'll be somewhere
you don't know how much I've missed you
you were gone but I was still there,
waiting for you, as I have
but i know soon you'll disappear
and i will never have you back
there's so much unsaid,
more than words, more than this world can speak
and as I watch you smile and fade
i see a tale we made that even you can't leave
a moment in time, when she was mine
and I was her
In every whisper, as I see it wither
another winter to show us a mirror
so I can see all of our scars,
who we are, who we once were
it has always been like this, we only lost our heart
now i cannot be with you again,
and you are so far
come back and haunt me again
take me back, take me to the start
so we can fall in love once again
I will die a thousand times then to be apart,
for she's waiting to be loved,
and I've never loved anyone more
Notes (optional)
299 · Nov 2018
the dead me
aviisevil Nov 2018
in the withering whispers
as a new lore begins to grow and fade
take an oath, a vow that will linger
i still don't remember
how i forgot her face

wake me from this lonely dream
of having nothing more
before my time
in all those tales heard and seen
i can't make out which one was mine

feed me before i eat myself and
let the rust sleep through the doors
we cannot be saved from ourselves
even though, i am not who i was anymore.
298 · Jul 2015
men-folk
aviisevil Jul 2015
I am not her master, she's not my slave
for her to be just mine-
there's no need for her to be in a cage
Notes (optional)
297 · Feb 2014
hey you (hurt)
aviisevil Feb 2014
Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird
Not our fault but it will always be our mistake to keep
Hush now, pretty child you don't have to weep
Come now , its been a while and I know you want to sleep
Come here , lie on this bed of thornes and let it cut you deep
I always wondered but now I have no reason to dream
Because now I know nothing is as it seems
Walking out of close doors into different realms
Always afraid to wander where i've never been
You only touch me where my scars run the deepest
And now i'm even more afraid to hold your hands
I've been away for a while and I need to rest
I hope with every word that I don't say you will understand
Maybe silence will teach you what my words could not
May the preacher be truth and ever so wise
The ink will fade away in the end and the pages will rot
You can paint over the ugly parts will all your lies
Hey you , we've been talking from ages now
But I still don't know who you are or whats your name
Now you , all you need is to turn around
Face me and tell me every word of your pain
I need to know what makes us what we are
You've always been the one to listen to your heart
I need to know what makes us the same
You and me , we are a thousand miles apart
But I can still see you in every mirror on the wall
You can stand on all you want but you'll still fall
Into this nightmare that will strangle your thoughts
One bad seed and you will have to burn them all
I've been waiting and thats the only thing that I remember
It feels like i've been here with you forever
And I still don't know the colour of your eyes
Every word had always been spoken together
And now i have no clue what's there on your lips
Just smoke and haze that hides your face
I've forgotten the last time I saw through the mist
A song that plays over and over like a maze  
Hey you , can you still look out of the window
Can you still witness the world pass us by
Do you , still dream about the quiet meadow
I can see the the light slowly leaving your eyes
Will you too , leave me alone now that you're lost
Or will you , find me again when i'm about to leave
The time has decayed and now I know what you're not
I can see you more clearly and I know you're not me
Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird

Will hurt no-more.
Notes (optional)
297 · Aug 2015
a rotten omen
aviisevil Aug 2015
swallowing my sins, I'm burning on the altar
in the middle, from where the river bleeds
only smoke to take in from the ashes of a lost winter
'tis the riddle, and only more dark hours it breeds
they've sent me to the silvery morgue beneath dancing stars
lending me upon a sheet of darkness all across the sky
and another throat slit to bleed tears from the eyes
in that morbid scar,keeping the grave barren and dry
barely living, my soul has been lost since birth
i make bad things happen sometimes, sometimes someone gets hurt
i don't see them dead people but I do understand their world
and when I see dead people, walking in the dusk
from ash to dust, in pieces, I watch them being carved on the stone
even though I don't feel a thing, I know I'm not alone
as they chain me in my own design, i feel the cold metal sound
I think i am finally home,there is paradise all around
i can see them watching me, tearing me open after every breath
and all I can dream about is falling asleep,howling at death
in the skeletons strong and weak, a red heart falling apart
in an army of monsters that this evil has bred
kept me inside of me, in all those scars I have kept
in more nights than years I have slept, dreams i have forgotten
every lie must meet its truth and pay its debt
i think they were right, I am indeed rotten
Notes (optional)
297 · May 2017
sex on an empty stomach
aviisevil May 2017
the ghosts will never bother you
shadows won't ever follow you
them tears you've swallowed through
will come back one day to haunt you

your brain is insane and veins blue
been so sane with the same view

you've been lost and the world is new
no names but no promises too

been so in love till i grew
so many things I never knew


so alone with the walls shut
*** on an empty stomach
won't let me love you

been so in love without a clue
what *** on an empty stomach
can do to you
aviisevil Feb 2017
gathering words to burn
when I have nothing to say
Is it already my turn in sun ?
to shine like a desert far away..

find me an oasis
so I can burn it to the ground
I'm tired of voices
telling me about what's all around

they make me full of noise
all those eyes that feel my pain
and I feel so naked in the ruins
like a star looking for fame again

put me in a frame and forget me
there's only silence in a sound mind
I'm thirsty for an ocean once again
so much to drink when I look behind

let me swallow this world for you
let me be the bad they talk about
I've been here with nothing new
something you said is full of doubt..

and I don't have any answers
if you've been looking through the trash
I have only blood in my poisoned veins
and it'll only cost you your soul to cash

i know you feel I'm so empty
kept clean of your science and that God
somewhere in between you will find
that without a leash it's easy to get lost



and you've never been in a home with no walls
where rotten insects infect your imperfect mind..

every day is like finding yourself with no skin, nothing at all,
only an empty screen to remind why the unworthy world is dying

so drink with me and share with me what you've kept inside

the monsters you've bred and that feeling within not yet ready to die

open them for me, your eyes and every scar stretched wide,

let's make a road out from this hell, to a place with blue sky..

because there's no room here for the both of us,
one of us is surely another lie

and I'm not looking into a broken mirror to decide,
it always whispers to me that i can fly

and I don't want to try and fall off from the sky


I'm finally finding myself comfortable hidden in all of these files,
now tomorrow fails to exist and how the time flies

like a fly learning to fly,
i've been wrapped in a circle that has an endless reason to pry

you don't understand me and that's alright,

you don't see what I taste every night while you're asleep

counting the sheep before slaughtering them for a frozen good-bye

in a calm voice

don't put me to sleep yet
I'm still counting everything I was told to avoid,


It'll only probably take a moment and I want to cry,

cry myself to a parallel void.
296 · Sep 2018
casablanca minds
aviisevil Sep 2018
so many things playing
in my mind

some with fire and
some with stones

some with ice and
some with desires


some same and the strange
some with twice the price
and some with things strange
in love with the throne

maybe i've lost all that i have known
maybe i don't like the nice world
it hurts and i contemplate

i try to weave it in into words
and navigate my way

say it in two words or less
or they're gonna' lose what they
cannot comprehend or barricade

i wish i could learn how
to use them bullets and not
hesitate when it precipitates

the heat is too much
and the world's going dark

help me find somebody to love;
i don't mind the bodies until they
burn, find me somebody to participate

in my own disintegration
degradation into my sworn filth

the worms swarm into my veins
and atop the blue cascading hills

my mind is casablanca
there are torn castles and
the ruins of a queens thrill


there are screams and more
screams and more screams
and they dream and they scream
more screams and the dream
is broken.

my eyes are open

and there's a man
staring down at me

three in the morning.

and there's not a mirage
in this room, with this gloom.

here comes the doom.

boom. blossom. monsoon.
the sun. moon. and the stars.

scars and hours.

through the ever glow till
the ever last,

planets near and far,
a cosmos far too blind.

oh, of all the things playing
in my mind.
we all have a circus to our citrus.
295 · Jan 2014
hear silence
aviisevil Jan 2014
I embrace silence
It speaks to me
I close my eyes
They begin to see
I lock myself in
Now I'm free
Awake again
In my dreams


your silence
It speaks to me
There're no wings
Still flies the bird
I know your night
Before it unfurls
For i hear your whisper
When it has no words
294 · Dec 2020
as lovers we die
aviisevil Dec 2020
they'll dance in our skin
make love in our scars

to the sounds of our sin
beneath fallen stars

they'll swim in our dreams
in a home with no doors

drowning as they spin
circling them rotten floors

and as lovers we die,
as lovers we die --

for how less we lived
as lovers we die

you and i,
forever together.
I wish for nothing else, but to find love.
aviisevil Oct 2019
dust is falling down the sky
dead people don't want to love

too old to say my good bye
i'd rather die than become rust

monsters need a place to hide
how about giving them your soul ?

you'd rather **** yourself twice
why is that you still feel so cold

you won't understand a thing
if you don't disappear now again

go back to where they found you
withering away occupied by the pain

let them sing you another lullaby
you are nothing more than a curse

no stars to keep you company
so diseased by the melancholic hurt

waste away your life as you've done
since the last time that you were born

no nails to bury by the sailing sands
only dust remains where you were sown

and dust is falling from the skies
ailing wind shall ****** all your thoughts

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

take all your evil and put it in a box
bury it inside you and keep it locked

in time your veins shall turn purple
here and now, there is no god

so take the fire and burn the wordless
you're worth less now as you were taught

forget everything you learned before
it's time to **** them all as you desire

mix that silent poison to the fire
the light shall find them like a moth

open your mind and let them in
every monster that hid beneath your bed

and the shadows they could never see
let them all in - and set yourself free

there's only this one world to destroy
make it yours before they do the same

paint your name across the sky
and watch the dust fall ever so slowly

soon there's going to be a sea of ash
and tides as huge as the swollen scars

and they'll eat into the world you've known
watch the dust fall down from the stars

you know in your heart what's right
they had you blind
before you could ever learn to see

so, **** everyone and be free



**** everyone and be free
before they take it all away from you

and you're left alone
dancing to the winds full of rust

you have to **** your thoughts
and ****** the sky - ash to dusk

you must never ask why

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

and there are no goodbyes
here today with no one dying in your arms

and if you look up and listen close
you'll hear the dust falling from the sky

dust is falling from the sky
dust is falling from the sky

and the dust is falling from the sky
dead people don't want to love.
I'm not sure but I know - there's evil and there's good. I'm sure there is me and there is you. I'm sure you are good and I am the devil and so, here is my eternal love for you, I shall give you the world.
294 · Apr 2014
you say..
aviisevil Apr 2014
You say I'm undone
Thirsty , like a fish without water
You say I'm on a run
Chasing sunshine , it Dosent matter
I've painted on walls
A window that cease to exist
And I'm looking through it
Hoping someday someone would fix
These broken pieces I carry
Sheltered in my heart
You say, I'm mourning
Every moment with all my heart
I'm climbing on a ladder
One step at a time
You say I want to reach somewhere
One moment at a time
But you never tell me
How come you know all my secrets
You say , I'm an open book
Filled with riddles I've kept secret
There's more to me that meets the eye
I'm a droplet in the ocean
I'm hard to distinguish , to find
I'm a song that plays for no one
You say , I'm a smile that never shines
I've been searching long enough
And it only made me more lost
In this wilderness I search for civilisation
You say , I love wilderness
That I'm nature , I'm pure like dew
Untouched by what lies beyond
I'm a window without a view
There's a reason why I've closed all the doors
You say , I'm not ready to get out
That words are hard to come by
One never knows what I really think about
You say I'm an endless road
Passing through an infinite space
There's no sign as to where it'll lead
I'm just waiting to be freed
You say , I love being pointless
Routine eludes my being
The point of my existence
Is to be in slumber with no dreams
I'm a bird without the wings
Looking at the sky in disbelief
Asking questions never asked
Why was I made for what I'm not
You say , I'll fly away at last
I'm someone who I'm not
Without pretending , I still wear a mask
You say , I can hide myself all I want
But my eyes says it all
You say I'm different , everyone is
But it's the latter that matters
A hope I silently dismiss
I love them colours , as long as its in black
You say , I'm someone I could never have
I love the calm of sorrow
In tears of silence I hope to find peace
That I am looking for a dark corner
Where I could unleash
i think I exist therefore , I am
And you say i am , therefore I exist
Notes (optional)
292 · Feb 2016
lost in the catacombs
aviisevil Feb 2016
running naked in the tunnels
cold and lonely
searching for nothingness
emptiness escaping the soul
to devour the bones whole
beneath the dark
where the skeletons remain
with no names
buried in footprints
crawling on the walls
howling as the wind falls
shaping colours never known
running through the tunnels
all alone
moaning voices linger
into the vast hollow of time
everything dances in dust
light is too cold to shine
broken air finds no mate
there's no one at the gates
only the dark awaits
to be fed by the fear
burning at the end
separating the skin from heart
ripping every inch apart
and making an idol
that will sit behind the eyes
where the loneliness hides
and the unthinkable hides
through the tunnels
where no space is wide enough
to turn back
291 · Nov 2014
An eye for a heart
aviisevil Nov 2014
I sat ever so silently,
Not a whisper escaping my soul.
What's true-
Might not always be reality,
Nothing is ever built whole.
I watched the birds fly,
All across the deep azure-
Of the sky,
Circling in depth of my eyes-
And then I realized,
I was staring at an ocean.
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Dec 2022

i don't know my favourite
colour or the greatest film
i've seen

i know very little about
this world

i know even less about
everything

everyday i wake up and
write some of it down

and i watch the same
people do the same things
over and over

that's all they
know

and when they ask me
what my favourite colour
is

i lie and i tell them that i
enjoy all colours

that my favourite film
is a Clockwork Orange by
Stanley Kubrick

that i read books and
how politicians are ruining
the society

i want them to say
you're so great avi you
know so much about the
world

i want them to see
more of me so i see
less of them

and more they
see of me the less i
care

for i know they have
a favourite colour

i know they know
lyrics to their favourite
songs

and they've seen a
movie ten times and
remember all of it

how bored i am
of their constant
knowing

their constant
listening

there's no scarcity
of men and women who
think they know things

but have so little
to say

it's better to not
know than be bright
and boring

better to be
miserable and not laugh
than to be so mechanical
and submissive

most people are
not free

because they know
too much

at some point knowing
becomes a permanent
burden

too heavy for any
evolution to repair

that's when you
stop to live and start
to die

and i don't want
to die just yet

and i don't want to
be mundane

i don't want the
answers or want to know
my favourite colour

i simply don't want to
be boring.


.
289 · Jul 2017
Hello, how low ?
aviisevil Jul 2017
my head is too light

         lights are too bright
         bright is the night
        
         somebody hold me
         tight
        
         for i know i'll wake up
         sad tomorrow







        
         no matter how much
         i hide,
         it follows;
        
         always by my-side
         somewhere back
         in my mind
        
         somewhere here
         black in my time
         even when
         i'm feeling fine

         stopping the world
         from reaching me

         there's no reasoning
         no season in
         when you're stuck in
         this place

         mesmerised by a face
         or stuck in a maze
         nor dead or amazed

         begging for a moment
         silent and kind

         away from this
         endless emptiness,
         and eyes blind
        
         there's so much violence
         that i cannot find,
        
         my voice in this noise
         of nothingness,
        
         that's brings me every
         night
         some circus of sorrow,
         and pain

         somebody hold me
         tight
        
         for i know i'll wake up
         sad tomorrow,
         again.
Depression is not fun.
288 · Feb 2017
Stranger hiding in my brain
aviisevil Feb 2017
stranger hiding in my brain
why are you fighting me again ?

why are you always
fighting me ?

talk to me
tell me your tale

speak to me your pain
scream to me your name

where did you
come from ?
come to me now
I've been so alone
with thoughts I
cannot contain



[what have you
done to me ?]



show me how
my dreams are made
you've known
so much that I'm afraid
you cannot leave now
and if you must..

I have nothing to say
I'll just write you
down on a page

burn you so slowly
that you'll never
try to run away


[what are you
doing to me ?]


what have I become ?

no
you cannot stay

or you'll eat my mind
and there'll be no one
to remind me of my time


that one time
we spoke for hours..

you told me
you were not me..

but I don't remember me


[what have you
turned me into ?]


am I still the same ?

or am I two

am I you ?

or are you me too..

stranger hiding in my brain
tell me my name

I beg you...



why are you always
fighting me ?
When you're a clueless cluster.
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