I see pain and discomfort shunned
From all beings breathing far from the sun
Yet, I’ve questioned if it was all right
Even though the sages have aged
The wise still rains truth
From storms of dust and pebbles
From lives full of peace and suffering
Having tasted it all to know that
   If you drink the honey first
   All else pales in comparison
   And the bitter ever more unbearable
   And if you bear the bitter before the sweet
   All the more pleasant the world will be

   You’ll never miss the near, but ever the far faraway
   Long for the berries and peaches that only visited
   Once a year
   Long for the meals that saved you from constant hunger
   Though only if you have starved and felt the ennui of
   Easy fulfillment till gluttony

And then, I have met
A different kind of suffering, like a spectre
Looming above the land of the cloudless
Looming above us, the youth of peace
Where all labor towards momentary fulfillment
Way too brief compared to the prospect
Of an eternity as ash and dust
Life of unbearable levity
In a world that has lost its true gravity
In a world where nothing lasts more than a
Few wrathful moments

Even with faith for the faithful
Who wants to live half of their life
Dancing with death
Only to live each day afterwards
As another life gained

At the same time
Who wants to live all their time
Chasing a dream ever in the distant
Only to one day wake up from the mirage
Pondering the purpose of the distance
Walked

Alas,
I can only wish that
When you close your eyes
You may not despair in the brief
Darkness
But rejoice in the ensuing wonder of
An eternal dream
So brilliant near the
Sun

There, things last
Not pain, in a land
Impossible to lose
But, unfathomable peace
Without ennui.

How does one ask for peace
When prosperity never led to longevity
How can the world end all hunger
And not fall to gross gluttony

I see the elders
Beaten, starved, survived
Cherishing the joy of a softer life

I see the younger
Fallen to the levity
Of a life without much gravity
Overlooked for a lack of experience

You can't fault anyone seeking
Refuge from pain
Yet, there will be no end to hurting
Until you've borne enough for calluses

T'is the circle of life
Always seeking to end the blemishes of life
Yet
Always longing for hunger when full
Always missing to ache when numb

Though
There's always hope for the hopeful
Some hope for AN END, A VOID
To the endless cycle
To everything
Others hope for something different
If the truth is ever unknown till experienced
And hope is hope
Why not hope for the unfathomable
Where suffering is not prerequisite to joy
It is not banished or outlawed
It simply does not exist
Nor can it even be pronounced,
Along with DEATH
And TIME

Unlike BLISS,
And the liberty of pure existence
With absolute free will

Endure the momentary
For the everlasting reward
When you close your eyes
You can believe in the darkness
Or await the wonder of an eternal dream

Never chase the poisonous perfection
That always takes more than it gives
Never rid of all the shadows of sin
And be found by the wrath of guilt
Love, always your wrinkles and scars
And that fearless imperfect smile
For I always will
I always will.

You've always had love of the sun in your eyes
Now that you've hid them, I can still feel
Every sorrow of every atom
Entangled with my soul

When I was at the ripe age of dreams
Not yet wise enough to question its reality
I wished for a bird, and one flew to me
Thirsty and weary, resting on the cage
Of my bedroom window
Sent to teach me how to love
Love a life so precious and zealous
Joyous as the gold of its wings

I had no palace or mansion for her
So she was content to live in a
Crumbling cage
And happily in a cardboard box
She dreamt

Till one day
We decided to surprise it
With a brand new shelter
But a home it was not to be-
When I loved it the most
She left me
Sometimes life is best enjoyed
A little tattered
For perfection, flawless appearance
Hides poison beautiful and unseen-

I thought her home was home with me
But alas, to the everlasting she must leave
Spread its wings beyond the cloud’s seams
She left the new home not made for living
And went back to Him

On sleepless nights,
I fear I have failed Him
For far too long
I only learned to love not so much
And welcomed only hatred and envy

But everything must be what it’s meant to be
For through it all, I danced with everything
Love, joy, fear, envy, guilt, hunger, pain,
And even gluttony

Till I was sent another angel
This time, a red robin
Perhaps, never to bond
Momentarily
But ever to love
Protect, and
Keep.

I

My words do not matter to Him
Just faith, love, and devotion
My words do not matter to me
Just eternal peace without condition

So why do I still write
And for whom to not listen
Constantly fearing inferiority
While aspiring total self-forgetfulness

II

I want to reap what is sown
Plant the seeds here,
But let it bloom yonder
Let me be content
To drink the bitter silence here
And taste the sweetness hereafter

I want to bask in the present sun
See the prospect of glory
But let it not shine for me here
Let me be content
To praise the wisdom of suffering, before
As an ordinary sunflower
And receive the everlasting warmth, beyond
Ever closer to the sun

III

I want the world to love all
As I want to be loved by Him
I want the world to accept itself
As I could never accept myself
With its scars, and flaws, and suffering
With more forgiveness for sinners
Than momentary praises for perfection

I look at the world as a mirror
Fading and scraped bare
By constant cleansing-
A looking glass stained by tears
And broken by hairline fractures
Will not distort the beauty of the
Seeker of obscured truth

But, a non-existent flawless mirror
Where the onlooker refuse to look
Will show nothing of merit
Truth, lies, or otherwise

IV


O world, be not like me
The bard afraid of words
If you keep them to yourselves
Then Hear the silence reign

O world, be not like me
A sinner afraid of imperfections
If you pluck all petals with flaws
Then See a world full of stalks

O world, be not like me
The glutton with thin skin
If you don’t build up your calluses
How unbearably will it twinge

V

Now heed my plea

The lambs might have autonomy
But what wonder might lie beyond
The glen
What happens,
When in perfect harmony
The uncut wool smothers the sheep
And doom looms
When green turns to earth
Grazed
Till it waned.

VI

Soon, if I were to be chased
By the clouds of self or man
I will put my faith in the sun
I will lay bare my soul in the sun

For its Warmth,
    Calms the chilling winds of change
    All shadows conquered at dawn
    And at dusk
It yet guides,
    Lending light to the crescent moon
    Even at its bleakest a soothing sight
    And at its brightest
A mother’s love in the summer days
A father’s forgiveness in the winter nights

VII

Fear not the petty scorn and envy of men
Cried I, the pettiest, most scornful, and envious
Of them all
Shame me not, for we are all lost
Let us find together,
The road timelessly traveled
Built for the mass, found by the few
Righteous, yet perilous
Rugged and overgrown
Darkened by the Sun
To give to it to reach the summit
Flesh and soul
Strength and breath
One day aching joyously
Having reached the height
To see the hidden valley of delight
Where we will finally
Ache
Nevermore

Why hath man no capacity for peace
The stillwater of quiet ennui
Wasting away under the calm wind
Dreaming of unrest
Wishing for a storm under a clear sky
Full of stars

Why hath man so much capacity for suffering
Except when faced with the thought of it
Then it’s a gluttony of sweetness until
A renewed longing for hunger
Unexpressed for fear of
Absurdity

A garden is built, with constant amends
Chasing a never-changing perfection
Till no flower is to be touched
By thieves, children, bees, all likewise
Till it all withers away
To ash and dust
Truly, a visage of all the same
Grey, and indifferent to the sun

A ruin now a sight of comforting pleasure
Its ruddy rust a wizened smile of experience
Its scars now revered by flesh and soul
By winds, children, moss, and ivy, all likewise
The stones that still stand when all else fall
Will always be more loved than unharmed edifice

So
Why do we still fear any fall
That when it rises
Will have the momentum to rise
Above itself,
And perhaps even above all.

Do you pity or envy a world
That has cut off its calluses
Do you love or fear a world
So gentle against the wind
That a ***** would bleed
That a pinch would twinge

I pity and fear it,

Thus:

Here I am, hiding
In a boat of poetry
In the strait of obscurity
Between two oceans of fear

Between
The old world of joyous suffering
And
The new world of unbearable peace

Trying to marry the water of lively green
And the deadly blue

As I tie the old waves to the new
I set aflight an echo through the wind-
In the shape of a dove, a clarion call:

"Don't renounce your past
But accept it with pride,
Lest you be judged for what you have done,
And never
What you could, would, and will do!"

How much poetry live within me

Or am I merely a vessel

That has to be loaded and unloaded

To not waste away under the calm wind

And sink to a weighted depth of silent

And unfulfilled dreams


Yet what is the use

Carrying a soul from an unwritten land

To an unread land

Both dotted with footprints of past voyageurs

But no path or end in sight


Perhaps I am destined to be an unnamed pilgrim

That treads upon and whose marks will be tread upon

The wasteland of hapless ambitions

Transforming it into a garden of everlasting

Love, freedom, and hope


There,

You may find me one day

Though you will not know it

Nor will I

Within a petal of the rose


A dust in the dew

The wings of a honeybee


And if you look closely,

Listen closely

Within the laughing wind

As the gale brings all of us

Across the sea

Carrying vessels after vessels

From dream to dream

We often remark collectively

The curious quickness and languidness

Of supposed objectively measured time



Yet

Never truly resolving how could

Fixed increments differ

So significantly and equally

To different close observers



Perhaps it is thus:

That spacetime is a gravitationally

Wrinkled fabric

Measured with a rigid rule

A linear distance

With unseen folds and faults

Unaccounted for in the straight line

That like mountains and valleys

Unable to cross directly in flight

For the haplessly wingless of us

We must climb over and fall through

Therefore adding to the voyage

Time closer to the truth



And mountains and valleys endless

There must have been for us both

To climb over and fall through

In that indivisible fleeting moment

When my eyes first met yours



And mountains and valleys endless

There must still be for us both

In every indivisible fleeting moment-

Again and again, forevermore-

Whenever my eyes meet yours



For such is our love's 'DENSITY'

For such is our love's gravity

They must all be the ceaseless ripples

From our two ever embracing

Neutron star souls

Deep, deep within

As the human soul watches,

The other less clever, obedient invisible masses work.

He tells them to run

They dare not walk,

Or rather,

They synchronize with his mind as one

In unison.

Even time,

Who would surely rebel

If he had chosen to waste his talent,

Followed his command and wishes.


Only those

Having more faith in the mortal flesh

Lived helplessly, questioning the

Chaos

Not knowing the ability behind the

Display of clothing skin

Upon

Each

And

Every

Soul

There's no contentment for the stranger in strange countries
Even though she desires it, it is not what she needs
The dread of being comes with wizened routine
But the cure, a constant anticipation, lies not within
Paradise is eternity in a moment, blissfully lived
Such was the fleeting ways of the stranger and ‘the bee’
An everlasting dream in instances never meant to be
Now that only regretful silence forevermore, remains
The wasp still sings, just so the stranger never hear the doubts from the deep
But the wasp is not a bee, unwanted, the stranger could never keep
Alas, the fate of a love wanting to hear but would never speak
The ever distant longing of The Allegory of the Stranger and the Bee



May the stranger find another life, eternal moments of bliss
And gift the wasp The Present of happiness and the joy of pain
The Absurd Existential Angst of wanting to give everything but knows not how to receive
Knows not how to love
Knows not how to be happy
Knows not how to be.



In the stranger, The Wasp saw a savior
From her shell, from her hatred of everything
She finally dreamed of living, and lived in a dream
In the wasp, the stranger saw a break from the stranger's routine
From the dread of living without much anticipation
The stranger seemed happy, finally truly happy for once in a dream
But, a dream is still just a dream
The wasp sang too loud, and woke the stranger’s sleep
Now only a hopeless longing for the stranger-
The wasp could never love without unbearable pain-
Absurdly remains



If ever the stranger wonders if enough was accomplished
If the stranger's enough, in the stranger's existence of being
Know that the stranger showed the wasp how to be happy
That the stranger is the wasp’s hope of living, the wasp’s everything
But the wasp is not lovable,
The wasp is not a bee
Alas, the wasp is such an absurd being

The stranger's love was a mistake
It was before she realized that
The bee was absurd, the bee was not normal
The bee was a wasp
So she killed the dream

Alas, the wasp's devotion and gratitude
Remain true, remain hopelessly, painfully real
A shattered soul pleading for the end of silence
But knowing full well, there's no means for her to heal

The wasp cared for the stranger

And the stranger for the ‘bee’

The stranger brought her marigolds

And the wasp brings her honey

The stranger sought for another life

But the wasp she could never keep

Never did they realize

The wasp was not a bee

-The wasp cared for the stranger

And the stranger for the ‘bee’

The stranger brought her marigolds

And the wasp brings her honey

The stranger sought for another life

But the wasp she could never keep

Never did they realize

The wasp was not a bee-



Three Dimensions of an Unwanted Soul

     Three Stages of Existential Dread



Perpetual-Purgatory Dread

Omnipresent-Inferno Dread

Transient-Paradiso Dread



Purgatory:



The Glasgow Subway of The Five-Dimensional Man



The Perpetual Existential Dread:



When you are lost in love
Your soul ages quicker than you grow old
Don't you see those living bodies with
Dead Souls
Trying to reap what was never sown



For the five dimensional man
Time is like the Glasgow Subway
He'll be aging forwards and backwards
To get to Hillhead you can't skip Buchanan Street
To get to the good times you can't skip the sad ones
And there's always going to be more bitter than sweet
But there's no end for the five dimensional man
There's no end to the Glasgow subway


He bought a typewriter down Byres Road
Learned to write South of Houston, Prince Street

The love was foreshadowed in Pandrossou Market
And he bargained and lost it on Main Street


The traveler travels through all of time and space
When you live infinitely, you'll remember every name
But when between dreaming and losing is your place
Even the immortal would lose his faith
He would give up the universe for one true love's grace
But perhaps it's easier to fall into the six dimensional ways
If infinite number of him existed in an instant with every trace
No happiness, no sorrow, no loss, no heart breaks
He'll gladly welcome the end of his days


There is a space time gateway 3000 light years away
For the end of solitude he'll endure this 30 lifetime race
He just wants to feel the comfort of a senseless place
And to fill his aching heart with empty loveless space
When nothing's ever gone, despair will vanish without a trace
Could this be the fate of the hapless five dimensional fool
Eternally without love, and another soul to his name





Inferno:



The Glass Elevator of The Six-Dimensional World



The Omnipresent Existential Dread:



They exist endlessly, they exist infinitely

I can see every trace of love

Wherever I want to be

Yet

This must be the undiscovered country

Where all travelers will return

The wasp found the stranger

Though neither of them ever left

This is the place of everything

Except, longing, heartbreak and dread



The Five-Dimensional Man has arrived

And in the happiest moments he’ll land

Here is the universe where nothing will ever end

Nothing ever passes

Nothing ever comes

All of existence in a single jump of the second hand



He looked through the looking glass

And shattered into a million six dimensional man

Each consciousness in one perpetual moment

Where he'll never experience anything else

Happiness or otherwise except

The Omnipresent existential dread of the

Six Dimensional Land




At the Gate of Paradise/Paradiso



The Walk of Life of A Fourth Dimensional Man



The Momentary/Fleeting Dread:



A piece of the trillion trillion six dimensional man

Floated near the wormhole from whence he came

When he crossed from the Five Dimensional Land

Though the new place in which he arrived had a beginning and an end



Since he is only a fragment, he fits in well with the rest of the men

Here, it is our own familiar landscape

My fourth dimensional friends

Where our protagonist finally found paradise

Or the nearest world before the sweet hereafter fence

He was born, he loved and lost, dreamt with regret

And finally passed on through the light

Leaving behind only ashes, dust and sand

Who knew all he craved was never infinite eternity on his Earth

But merely the end

Of his endless dread under the stars

Ever before the Promised Land

Chapter One — In the Woods

For all I know, I could be in a dream right now, no beginnings, no once upon a time, no long long ago; and perhaps no endings, no happily ever after, no the-end, and no non-arbitrary answer to the question. Of course, no one wants to read that, no one wants to be told that all they’ve ever believed in is a lie, what it is in the end, is what it was in the beginning, hopeless.

Everything is trivial, at least at the moment, at least that’s what I feel, well, I am who I am, is that not correct, or am I suppose to be someone else, or feel like someone else, the other I do not understand, the other I do not care for or about, the other I would never want to be, or the other that embodies, mimics, and mocks, all the sources and ends to my yielding to the scorns of life. No, I am only ME. That’s all I will be. Except, at the moment, and as abruptly as it may seem, at the moment- I do not know who I am.

Chapter Two — The Girl

Sitting in the subway, taking a stroll around the lake, all that time away from actually writing, your entire purpose of existence will-not rush to your mind-but simply all make sense.
Whether or not that is actually constructive is again, trivial at the moment. Whether or not the fact that the absentmindedness afterwards undermines all that insightfulness that had came before it makes the entire conversation unworthy of being discussed by its entirety, is not important, or just not interesting enough for me to ignore the fact that I am, at this very moment, running through a endless territory of barely anything other than stripes of forests away from the occasional darkness that most would call night.
If there were anything beyond the soft grip of the crisp emerald fields of molds and fungus, the soft shower of the gleaming silver moonlight, the tanning hides of the shading elms, an occasional joy of a little wilder beast, and the deadly silence, it is not within my sight, and I must be heading towards it. Yes, there must be something else.
Something beyond this stillness, this stock-still, never fleeting moment in time; there must be an end that is not an end for all this seeking of the seeker. There must be a meaning in all the seemingly meaningless continuation of a standstill.
There must be a gift, a present, well just a difference, to be the spark in the storyline, but what is it? I could guess, but that’s expectation.
Expectation, the tail of the tale you will be chasing after that exists not, because, all that you would have believed in only exist within your mind.
Anyway,

The Tree

One of my branches caught beneath the cape, and scratched at her ankle. I shook, and she did too, but only so slightly. Perhaps it was the wind, well, for me, but for her, I would rather, it was the instinct sensing of pain, or may be just a itch. Whatever it was, it was to be felt; she felt it, and so did I.
She did not, however, respond in anyway, and quietly she passed on. This is a disappointment to me, sadly. Actually, it was more than that, I felt a downing of emotions, from the curiosity of a child to the most slight, yet the most intimate pinch at the heart, a sharp pain.
What did I expect, was she to stop and grant me a part in her story, in the flight of the has-been worldly, and leave everything behind.
Have I forgotten, once more, that I am a tree, the ultimate metaphor for permanence? Even at that, the fact that I cannot move is not the question, what should be asked is what more could be there for a tree; yes, will I always remain, when all have passed on, the response as always, is probably yes.
What is there then, to all this, why do I still remain? As a tree, where did I get a hope that there is a hope, and what exactly is this hope. Perhaps I just always tell myself to wait and see, yes, maybe that is it. I’ll wait and see.
I turn around, or I just turns my attention back around, expecting to see her vanishing into the distance, however, she had not yet passed me. This time, one of my other branches caught at the cape, threatening to tear off the shield, I tried to stop them, but again, I cannot move. As she defends, the instrument of disguise, also known as the mask, almost yields, and unveils the mystery.
She quickly stations it back in place, nonetheless, although my appearance is as still as stillness can be, with my quick wits, I stole a look beneath the golden disguise, and I was surprised, yet not so much as I was delighted.
She was gifted with a natural pureness in her features, plain, yet, upright, proud, and inherently, and elegantly innocent. The nobleness draws the most fear, shame, and sorrow.
If I could, I would, lower down my gaze, and the crown-how ironic-of my tree, not in admiration, but in shame, the despicable, inevitable taunts of my conscience.
It is only now, that I have noticed as she had passed my way, that there is another player in this game, another character in this story. On her shoulder, sits the stereotypical shape of a petite and bright star. The light, lights my veiled blush of humiliation; she seems even more innocent, even more careless and naive, even more happy.
What is it, what is she smiling about; what is she thinking about?
YES, WHAT IS SHE THINKING ABOUT?

The Star

Well, I am her, so I would, or just, I should know.
The dreadful thing is, her identity is still a mystery; it doesn’t matter how close you gets to her, whether or not she is a princess, a ordinary farm girl, a boring city child, a dangerous assassin, or whatever she is, doesn’t just suddenly hop out in the clear for you. However, you can still sense from the baseline of our so called humanity, the little insanity our souls call intuition, an indecipherable comfort of our inner most consciousness, and subconsciousness.
I can see my own reflection from the back of her mask, funny how I can’t still see Her. Does it matter if I see myself, if all that’s ever going to change is my consciousness. Perhaps not, perhaps all I need was a sense of being, a sense of existence, to feel that extra undecipherable sense of bliss by mere proximity, I am with her, feels her existence, and that is all I needed.

When you are lost in love
Your soul ages quicker than you grow old
Don't you see those living bodies with
Dead Souls
Trying to reap what was never sown



For the five dimensional man
Time is like the Glasgow Subway
He'll be aging forwards and backwards
To get to Hillhead you can't skip Buchanan Street
To get to the good times you can't skip the sad ones
And there's always going to be more bitter than sweet
But there's no end for the five dimensional man
There's no end to the Glasgow subway




He bought a typewriter down Byres Road
Learned to write South of Houston, Prince Street
The love was foreshadowed in Pandrossou Market
And he bargained and lost it on Main Street


The traveler travels through all of time and space
When you live infinitely, you'll remember every name
But when between dreaming and losing is your place
Even the immortal would lose his faith
He would give up the universe for one true love's grace
But perhaps it's easier to fall into the six dimensional ways
If infinite number of him existed in an instant with every trace
No happiness, no sorrow, no loss, no heart breaks
He'll gladly welcome the end of his days


There is a space time gateway 3000 light years away
For the end of solitude he'll endure this 30 lifetime race
He just wants to feel the comfort of a senseless place
And to fill his aching heart with empty loveless space
When nothing's ever gone, despair will vanish without a trace
Could this be the fate, of the hapless five dimensional fool
Eternally without love, or another soul to his name

For the five dimensional man
Time is like the Glasgow Subway
He'll be aging forwards and backwards
To get to Hillhead you can't skip Buchanan Street
To get to the good times you can't skip the sad ones
And there's always going to be more bitter than sweet
But there's no end for the five dimensional man
There's no end to the Glasgow subway

Beyond the Veil of Our Inverted Universe:

I must wander

Beyond the thinnest part

Of our inverted universe

As we are outside of living


Living the whole of a dream

While dreaming

Fragments of

The Mirror of

‘Reality’


Truth is only to be felt

For we see

Only what we wanted to see

And think

Only what we wanted to think


But only feelings

From sparks of infatuation

To chasms of the deepest sorrow

Is authentic

In and of itself

Mercilessly

Beyond our desperate

Need for control


And there

Beyond the veil

Of false possessions

And

Expectations



Is

You


The authentic truth

Of

You


Beyond all thoughts

Rationality and

Physicality


Merely an intense feeling

Intertwined

With the untamed feeling of me


Two branches of lightning

Bursting through pure darkness

Briefly revealing the

Landscape of our universe

With the collision

Of our pure

Being






















When the Sleeper Wakes in Sleep:

When the sleeper ‘sleeps’

He wakes, on the other side

Of Plato’s Cave

And sees time and time again

Often in fragmented consciousness

The world that truly is

“Bigger on the ‘inside’”

“Smaller on the ‘outside’”


It’s like forever standing

Within a mirrored cylinder ring

Keeping faith to its seeming

Infinity

Even though only

Reflections are being seen


Reflections of the

Geometry of love

Thoughts

Unseen beings

Consciousness

And

Gravity


These and more

Floats around the exterior

Of this thin fabric of reality

Bumping into us occasionally

Letting us feel its obscured shape

But never witness its true property


Only through momentary slumber

When we open our minds eye

And peeks at the other side

When we drift away-

Unguarded by our perspective-

Through all of spacetime

And drift closer to the veil

As if through a plastic foil

Can we see and softly touch

The ‘matters’ of truth in life


See the wrinkles

And ripples in time?

That’s where runaway dreams

And forgotten past hide

You will see yours

And even all of mine


That’s why I can live

Again and again your happiness

And joys of mine

With near absolute clarity

Manifested through twinges

And longing

With the help of the night


That’s why

When the sleeper ‘wakes’

He can no longer

Bear this world of bright shadows

And must rush back

To the brilliant world

Under the dark sunlight


That's why

I leave the lies for the morning

And truth for the night

When you're weary of

My dazzling praises

You can dream among

The starry sentiments

Of my moonless sky






















A Brief History of that Muse Song:

The weight of thoughts

We hold deep within

Gather and increase in mass

Till we’re beings of immense gravity

Attracted at the moment of first contact

Never letting go


Even through the unseeable distance

I can still feel your pull-

Feel time stretch into infinity

Feel nothing else within my hold-

From our fateful event horizon


Even though we’re both vessels

Of very little voices

We’re far from empty

We’re far from silent-

With every unspoken word-

Not let out to wander and

Disperse-

We bear the roaring wrath

Of neutron stars deep within

Our Soul


And such

Is our ‘Density’






















Purity:

I believe that

Names can physically

Mold a being

Without human intentions

As accidental drops of ink

Muddies the water

Yours follow the opposite

And being true to its essence

You are indeed eternally ‘PURE’


Pure, in the winter lakes

Of your soft pensive eyes

Color of the earth, the dust of existing


Pure, in the crescent

Of your laughing eyes

Hiding no sorrow

Dragging me along with you

When it descends


Pure

In the ripples of your soul

As I felt every drop

Seen in your dazzling smile

Unseen, in the dreamer’s dream


And I, indeed a dreamer

The ‘MOON’, the ‘STARS’, and

‘A MYTHICAL JEWEL’

That radiates not

Within or without

Except under or carrying

Your light


If only I can be your moon

A source of comfort but

Only at your darkest

Never to steal your shine


Except

I am merely a solitary bird

In love with the spotless lofty sky


I may praise it

And lament in its silence

But I can never caress it

Possess it or even

Comfort it


So it shall be

For even a storm of the sweetest dreams

Might taint the purity of a cloudless night

Jacques de Rouge

The wandering pilgrim

Of poetic seekings

Drifted away once again

Oppose the Homeland Paris

And into the Heart of Italy

Known for many feats

Though,

One was in particular

Unmistakable

It is the City of Dante



Firenze, in a frenzy

Have manifested itself

In the Golden Light

Of heavenly stars to be

Alive with all characters

Past and passed.

Opening wide behind

Lorenzo Ghiberti’s

The Gates of Paradise

Dante himself emerged

From the centre

Of the Florence Baptistery

And ascended toward the light

The opening of Hope and Stars

Among the rings of Heaven

Jacques de Rouge followed,

In pursuit.

And kneeled before him,

As Dante stopped and stood

With the Eagle!

In Piazza di Santa Croce.



When Jacques de Rouge stood

In a shadow at Palazzo Vecchio

The shadow revolved like

Da Vinci’s Helicopter

With what seemed like

A bulging knot at the end.

Barely missed his head

Jacques de Rouge

Realized the swings

Were from the slingshot

Of none other than

That of the one masculinity

Of all masculinity

Michelangelo's David.



His marble complexion transformed

Almost ever so light and faintly

Into a smooth and pale flesh.

Jacques cast his eyes down

In an unavoidable instinct of shame.

When he looked up, the flesh

Is now a single dangling foot

Seconds from stepping into

The Niche of Orsanmichele

And approaching his beloved Christ.

Amen, and he proceeded.

Discreetly into the Secrets of Sandro Botticelli,

That which is secured marvelously

As the Standing Monument of

Giotto’s Bell Tower

And

Brunelleschi's Dome.



The Three Graces danced

The Venus stood in the classical position.

And one woman looked wearily at Jacques

Staring into his eyes.

And yes, Heaven it was.

As Jacques stood in the illusion of the weightless contrapposto.

"The great sleep is life, and in death we finally awake." - Yidhna

The sky a shade of eternally

Dark violent violet

Lit up faintly by a mysterious

Source of white light

Tumbling in the ominous clouds


Guarded by two crimson stone

Simians of Truth and Lies

The Gate to the Everlasting

Is not one you could just

Walk through with a riddle or two

But, Yvagn only seeks for a relic

The Coin of Truth


And thus

The Simians opened their eyes

And turned to their side

Facing one another they spoke

The simplest truth:


“It dies and all will live

It lives and all will die

Without it

There are no live and die

With it

Eternity is a lie”

So it was asked


Yvagn gave the answer

In an instant

And a coin descended

Into her palms

As the Simians spoke

One last time:


“There are two sides to a coin

If I give you the truth

You will also carry the lies

So, take this coin of one side

And never ponder what it hides

For upright is the truth

But a void beneath it lies

If you turn to the lies

Never again will you find

The coin of truth

The coin of one side

I loved you everyday as the
Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds
I hear
The initial breath of always the loudest
Silence
From your transparent soulful eyes
To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all
There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me
And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything
Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment
Timeless yet so fleeting
Till I shed every petal of my soul
And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind
They flower in your footsteps
Yet form a fading path not to you
But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day
Or since the day you walked away
When I awake from my only truth-
When I meet your name in my dreams
(For I dare not dream of thee)-
When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence
I fall
Everyday in breathless suffocation
Pleading for your presence
Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-
That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-
Formed when the support and ground of your being
Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness
Distances away from me
How I wish to land
And gift you my final absence
And take away the presence
Of my helpless unwanted
Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats
And I have no choice but to
Joyously suffer for
This love
Swept in and swept away
By the wind

There are infinite numbers of me

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the predestined fabric of time

Yet there is only one of you

Of which

I seem to be fated

To gaze upon

Love helplessly

Never possess

And eventually

Lose completely


And lose you I did

What I never had


Yet the love itself

Was never lost


It was just always

There


Faithful as a child

Running wild and free


A distant

And endless green

Pasture


Praising

Chasing

Flower after flower


Without ever so much

As a touch


For fear of its withering


But mostly

Because it ever

Eludes me


Yet

How can I be

Forever everywhere


Except

Where you are to be?


There are infinite numbers of you

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the everlasting Pasture

Of Love


Yet

There is only one of me


In time and in space

I might have passed you

Regretfully


But in Love

I believe

We're still destined

To meet

And

To be

There are infinite numbers of me

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the predestined fabric of time

Yet there is only one of you

Of which

I seem to be fated

To gaze upon

Love helplessly

Never possess

And eventually

Lose completely


And lose you I did

What I never had


Yet the love itself

Was never lost


It was just always

There


Faithful as a child

Running wild and free


A distant

And endless green

Pasture


Praising

Chasing

Flower after flower


Without ever so much

As a touch


For fear of its withering


But mostly

Because it ever

Eludes me


Yet

How can I be

Forever everywhere


Except

Where you are to be?


There are infinite numbers of you

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the everlasting Pasture

Of Love


Yet

There is only one of me


In time and in space

I might have passed you

Regretfully


But in Love

I believe

We're still destined

To meet

And

To be

I can never know the truth

That which is unfathomable

That which cannot truly manifest

Within this world of perfect imperfections


But I can seek to feel it

The peace and love

Aching merrily

Beyond reason for

The Irrational Beings

Yet, deeply touching

For the purity of our soul


Have faith in this love

If you can feel it rippling

Within you

Violent tides of longing

So very calm and joyful

Swept in by the gale wind

So startlingly abrupt

With warmth

Everlasting


Don't rationalize it

This which is the unfathomable

This which is above and beyond

Reason

And seek dust in the

Tears of pure happiness


If you must have certainty

I don't have to tell you that

I love you

The one truth you can surely

Feel

The wonderful everlasting

Is ever changing

A constant metamorphosis

Higher and higher


For what living soul

Is ever truly bound to

Words


And what great ocean

Couldn’t take it all

Even bitterness and salt


So why fear this love

As ever, perhaps more

Humble and devoted

With all of its flaws


Please

Take a leap of faith with me

You might finally rise

When you take this fall


For what miracle is there

If you only walk the walk

Quiet, mundane, unchanging

Walked by all

What guides me is not

Inner peace or immense joy

But a divine nausea

That drives me

Almost to a point of madness

With no other desire

Than to seek that which

I would otherwise

Not want to find


The eventual

Bliss of purely being

And approving calm

To my searching
acknowledgement

Are merely the fruits of

Its seemingly aimless

Binding vines



It led me through

Every obstacle

Every unforeseen summit

All of which I'm ever

Humbly grateful

For especially

It led me to

You


So

Please tell me

My beloved

Does it haunt you too?

I spoke your soul into words.

Verse:


I held your trinket soul in my palms

And watched it turn into stars

As they rise up high above my

Empty, numb, cold, weary sky

Each one took flight like fireflies

And entered into my every dream

Every dream day and night

Transcending through time


Chorus:


Watch how they rest upon street lights

Twirl and dances through life

Woven like music notes through

Each beat of my heart and soul

My love, my trinket soul

They know they know


Verse:


I kept your trinket soul in my heart

And spoke them into words

As they bloom into every flower

Every leaf of verdant green

Dandelions with open wings

Across my field of love unending

Waking every soul in sight

Every loving heart and mind


Chorus:


Watch how they fly through blue sky

Hand in hand like you and I

Scatter among cloudy lines  

Music notes on the heartstrings of life

My love, my trinket soul

I know I know


CODA:


Every word of love you never say

Like a typewriter on my soul

I must wander

Beyond the thinnest part

Of our inverted universe

As we are outside of living


Living the whole of a dream

While dreaming

Fragments of

The Mirror of

‘Reality’


Truth is only to be felt

For we see

Only what we wanted to see

And think

Only what we wanted to think


But only feelings

From sparks of infatuation

To chasms of the deepest sorrow

Is authentic

In and of itself

Mercilessly

Beyond our desperate

Need for control


And there

Beyond the veil

Of false possessions

And

Expectations



Is

You


The authentic truth

Of

You


Beyond all thoughts

Rationality and

Physicality


Merely an intense feeling

Intertwined

With the untamed feeling of me


Two branches of lightning

Bursting through pure darkness

Briefly revealing the

Landscape of our universe

With the collision

Of our pure

Being

When the sleeper ‘sleeps’

He wakes, on the other side

Of Plato’s Cave

And sees time and time again

Often in fragmented consciousness

The world that truly is

“Bigger on the ‘inside’”

“Smaller on the ‘outside’”


It’s like forever standing

Within a mirrored cylinder ring

Keeping faith to its seeming

Infinity

Even though only

Reflections are being seen


Reflections of the

Geometry of love

Thoughts

Unseen beings

Consciousness

And

Gravity


These and more

Floats around the exterior

Of this thin fabric of reality

Bumping into us occasionally

Letting us feel its obscured shape

But never witness its true property


Only through momentary slumber

When we open our minds eye

And peeks at the other side

When we drift away-

Unguarded by our perspective-

Through all of spacetime

And drift closer to the veil

As if through a plastic foil

Can we see and softly touch

The ‘matters’ of truth in life


See the wrinkles

And ripples in time?

That’s where runaway dreams

And forgotten past hide

You will see yours

And even all of mine


That’s why I can live

Again and again your happiness

And joys of mine

With near absolute clarity

Manifested through twinges

And longing

With the help of the night


That’s why

When the sleeper ‘wakes’

He can no longer

Bear this world of bright shadows

And must rush back

To the brilliant world

Under the dark sunlight


That's why

I leave the lies for the morning

And truth for the night

When you're weary of

My dazzling praises

You can dream among

The starry sentiments

Of my moonless sky

The weight of thoughts

We hold deep within

Gather and increase in mass

Till we’re beings of immense gravity

Attracted at the moment of first contact

Never letting go


Even through the unseeable distance

I can still feel your pull-

Feel time stretch into infinity

Feel nothing else within my hold-

From our fateful event horizon


Even though we’re both vessels

Of very little voices

We’re far from empty

We’re far from silent-

With every unspoken word-

Not let out to wander and

Disperse-

We bear the roaring wrath

Of neutron stars deep within

Our Soul


And such

Is our ‘Density’

I believe that

Names can physically

Mold a being

Without human intentions

As accidental drops of ink

Muddies the water

Yours follow the opposite

And being true to its essence

You are indeed eternally ‘PURE’


Pure, in the winter lakes

Of your soft pensive eyes

Color of the earth, the dust of existing


Pure, in the crescent

Of your laughing eyes

Hiding no sorrow

Dragging me along with you

When it descends


Pure

In the ripples of your soul

As I felt every drop

Seen in your dazzling smile

Unseen, in the dreamer’s dream


And I, indeed a dreamer

The ‘MOON’, the ‘STARS’, and

‘A MYTHICAL JEWEL’

That radiates not

Within or without

Except under or carrying

Your light


If only I can be your moon

A source of comfort but

Only at your darkest

Never to steal your shine


Except

I am merely a solitary bird

In love with the spotless lofty sky


I may praise it

And lament in its silence

But I can never caress it

Possess it or even

Comfort it


So it shall be

For even a storm of the sweetest dreams

Might taint the purity of a cloudless night

I loved you everyday as the

Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds

I hear

The initial breath of always the loudest

Silence

From your transparent soulful eyes

To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all

There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me

And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything

Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment

Timeless yet so fleeting

Till I shed every petal of my soul

And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind

They flower in your footsteps

Yet form a fading path not to you

But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day

Or since the day you walked away

When I awake from my only truth-

When I meet your name in my dreams

(For I dare not dream of thee)-

When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence

I fall

Everyday in breathless suffocation

Pleading for your presence

Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-

That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-

Formed when the support and ground of your being

Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness

Distances away from me

How I wish to land

And gift you my final absence

And take away the presence

Of my helpless unwanted

Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats

And I have no choice but to

Joyously suffer for

This love

Swept in and swept away

By the wind

Consciousness is decay

Consciousness is atrophy

Consciousness itself is ‘DEATH’


[Consciousness]


Perhaps suffering

Is not the result of

Divine punishment


But ‘the fruit’ itself

The pain

The poison


For time is no object

A mere space and place

The lack of

For events and

Ever Changing ‘reality’

To be


There is no ‘cease to be’

But

Only complete transformations


Awareness

Consciousness

Measures the transformations

Eternal transformations

With finite increments

Of time

Decay

Atrophy

And

DEATH



Consciousness

Must measure

And limit itself

Likewise


For eternity

Is

The ‘death’ of

Consciousness

Or lack thereof


[The Cave]


And the sweet hereafter-

The full escape from

The shadowy cave

Of imprisoning

Awareness

‘Consciousness’-

Will be forever unimaginable

For the exterior scenery

Must be that which

This conscious world is not

With absolute free will

And yet

No absolutes

Free

Or

Will


[The Tunnel]


Between the seemingly

Infinite cave

And

The ‘objective reality’

The truly endless lofty sky

There is a long

But narrow tunnel of

Nothingness

That must be crossed


The Aging mind

Is like the overgrowth

Blocking our view of

On either side

And the search for truth

Of either reality

Shadows or sunlight

Clears the view

Looking towards the cleared

Side


[The Escape]


A full escape of no return

Is the end of consciousness

And

‘Waking’ from the ultimate

‘DREAM’


[Keep Dreaming till the Daylight]


You may wonder

What is the use then to

Keep dreaming?

What is the use to limit ourselves

To the good solely.


But,

As we all know

No matter how perfect

The ‘real’ world is

There is no harm

Savoring the sweetest

Illusion for the time being

And make it as sweet as

Can be


[Nobody likes a Nightmare]


Consciousness is a dream

But we can still

And should still

Make it the greatest

Reverie

Say if all events:
'Past, present, future'
All possible occurrence
Chosen and averted
Are already on the 'map'
Of spacetime
(Interpreted from Relativity, Einstein)

Like infinite numbers of
Vacation spots

and
Time is merely
Our conscious measurement
Of indivisible increments
Of the ever-present
(St. Augustine)

A record of travelling

And if our fourth dimension of time
Is our one dimensional consciousness
Where we can only travel from
Event to event
Dot to dot
In seemingly constant speed
And one direction

As if a railway passenger

In one of the higher dimensions of time and consciousness
Though unfathomable and would seem omnipresent and eternal yet timeless
To us dots in a three dimensional flatlands

As the wayward of them
Had stumbled or spilled
Into our dreams

We would finally be able to
Run wild and free
Greet our past and future
Embrace familiar friends and strangers
In the wildlands
Of a higher dream

And we would not be
Arriving at a dimension of
Love and intuition

But we would inherently
Be beings of love
And intuition

Though we only seldomly
Physically feel them
And never see them

They're part of us
Only visible
Only fathomable
In higher dimension
Of
Spacetime

How much poetry live within me

Or am I merely a vessel

That has to be loaded and unloaded

To not waste away under the calm wind

And sink to a weighted depth of silent

And unfulfilled dreams


Yet what is the use

Carrying a soul from an unwritten land

To an unread land

Both dotted with footprints of past voyageurs

But no path or end in sight


Perhaps I am destined to be an unnamed pilgrim

That treads upon and whose marks will be tread upon

The wasteland of hapless ambitions

Transforming it into a garden of everlasting

Love, freedom, and hope


There,

You may find me one day

Though you will not know it

Nor will I

Within a petal of the rose

A dust in the dew

The wings of a honeybee


And if you look closely,

Listen closely

Within the laughing wind

As the gale brings all of us

Across the sea

Carrying vessels after vessels

From dream to dream

How much poetry live within me

Or am I merely a vessel

That has to be loaded and unloaded

To not waste away under the calm wind

And sink to a weighted depth of silent

And unfulfilled dreams


Yet what is the use

Carrying a soul from an unwritten land

To an unread land

Both dotted with footprints of past voyageurs

But no path or end in sight


Perhaps I am destined to be an unnamed pilgrim

That treads upon and whose marks will be tread upon

The wasteland of hapless ambitions

Transforming it into a garden of everlasting

Love, freedom, and hope


There,

You may find me one day

Though you will not know it

Nor will I

Within a petal of the rose

A dust in the dew

The wings of a honeybee


And if you look closely,

Listen closely

Within the laughing wind

As the gale brings all of us

Across the sea

Carrying vessels after vessels

From dream to dream

What do I chase
If I must one day
Take leave from
Consciousness?

Love.

It doesn't just disappear
It's always there
Regardless of dreams
Or otherwise

Regardless of
The awareness of
You
and
I

The dearth of love
Invites me to praise it
Yet, in praising
I fill it with only emptiness

So I must counter it
Oppose it with silence
And hope
The sudden calm
Brings back the seeker
That has never dreamt of the sea
But is now questioning
Why has the ocean stopped
Its call.

I see a world of people insisting
Upon absolutes
Within the current of perpetual
Change and uncertainty

I too am lost among
Those
That insist upon the moment truth
Though they are constantly falsified

Those that have too much faith in science
And
Give not enough credit to faith and intuition

Too many souls seeking absolute answers
And
Too many souls only accepting absolute answers

“There must be a reasonable explanation”

Or reasonable within the current paradigm

Yet, perhaps what you needed to see a
Wider world is to take that leap of faith
To the next paradigm

There will be no “Theory of Everything”

If you are not considering everything


‘Truth’ can become mockery
And
Within mockery there’s often more truth
Than
We are willing to accept

As Arthur Schopenhauer said:

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident”

Violent opposition to ridicules
Are evident of acceptance
Disguised as its antithesis

Often such mockery is not intended
But interpreted by a self holding truth
Afraid to be exposed to the world
Thus fighting back whenever it is touched
Leading to its unintended manifestation

Perhaps it is the dearth of a deeper love
In the absence of a truly unconditional love
That gives me fear in what it is to be accepted
There is no ‘Truth’
There is no ‘absolutes’
There will not be the 'acceptance'
That I seek and sought

I loved you everyday as the
Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds
I hear
The initial breath of always the loudest
Silence
From your transparent soulful eyes
To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all
There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me
And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything
Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment
Timeless yet so fleeting
Till I shed every petal of my soul
And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind
They flower in your footsteps
Yet form a fading path not to you
But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day
Or since the day you walked away
When I awake from my only truth-
When I meet your name in my dreams
(For I dare not dream of thee)-
When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence
I fall
Everyday in breathless suffocation
Pleading for your presence
Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-
That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-
Formed when the support and ground of your being
Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness
Distances away from me
How I wish to land
And gift you my final absence
And take away the presence
Of my helpless unwanted
Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats
And I have no choice but to
Joyously suffer for
This love
Swept in and swept away
By the wind

I just want to hide
To move with inaction
To be a dot within the line
An insignificant point in time
I just want to be an eternal witness
That never moves the story forward
A ghost among the timely passerby
A shadowed shape among dotted lines

If I only saw
But never spoke
Never moved
I could have remained forever
Within the fringe of
The maelstrom
The cataracts
Of loss and ceaseless decay
And
Never be broken
By the loss of
You

All these time it was to mourn
The death of a distant dream
Not knowing its passing
Never to return
Despite my wishful pleas

Holding the shape of its void
As its eternal presence
Believing it's still there
Wishing the lack thereof
And of anything else
Is a sign of its destined return

Not knowing all along
The replacing emptiness
Tells only
Of the final death of this
Long since silenced
Dream

I dreamt about you last night

Or as I know now

I saw you

In a different time

But within the same space

Where we’ve always coexisted

Silently, without

Loudly, within


I was never sure before

If I am just hearing my own

Echoes of words I sang for you

But heard only by me

An illusive love of two

In front of a cloudy mirror

Obscured by a lack of presence


Perhaps


If I kept my silence

I’d hear your voice again


If I disappeared

I’d find you once again


To my surprise

Though it was expected

Just like your impermanence

Just like your absence

Your presence in my dream

Caught me off guard in motion

As you held me tightly

While the twinges of your

Tangible soul blossomed

Throughout every atom

Of my being


Echoing through the night sky

In your unmistakable voice

Giving light to stars that have always

Permanently been there

But were ignored by me

In my search of you

Among the visible

While you hid within every

Light and darkness

Every flowering star

Every bit of space

Fertile as earth

Darker than the midnight sea

With its shimmering reflections

That which  

I am now swimming through

And falling into

Like a child

In this storm of every sense


In my own dimness

I always thought

You were reaching me through

The same time

But separated by a different

Space


I didn’t see the truth

I felt it

But I never understood it

You were never showing me

A life of if and could’ve


You were showing me

Our future

Our love in a different time

But

Within the same space

Where our souls have

Always coexisted


Where our soul

Has always

Intertwined

I dreamt about you last night

Or as I know now

I saw you

In a different time

But within the same space

Where we’ve always coexisted

Silently, without

Loudly, within


I was never sure before

If I am just hearing my own

Echoes of words I sang for you

But heard only by me

An illusive love of two

In front of a cloudy mirror

Obscured by a lack of presence


Perhaps


If I kept my silence

I’d hear your voice again


If I disappeared

I’d find you once again


To my surprise

Though it was expected

Just like your impermanence

Just like your absence

Your presence in my dream

Caught me off guard in motion

As you held me tightly

While the twinges of your

Tangible soul blossomed

Throughout every atom

Of my being


Echoing through the night sky

In your unmistakable voice

Giving light to stars that have always

Permanently been there

But were ignored by me

In my search of you

Among the visible

While you hid within every

Light and darkness

Every flowering star

Every bit of space

Fertile as earth

Darker than the midnight sea

With its shimmering reflections

That which  

I am now swimming through

And falling into

Like a child

In this storm of every sense


In my own dimness

I always thought

You were reaching me through

The same time

But separated by a different

Space


I didn’t see the truth

I felt it

But I never understood it

You were never showing me

A life of if and could’ve


You were showing me

Our future

Our love in a different time

But

Within the same space

Where our souls have

Always coexisted


Where our soul

Has always

Intertwined

Do you get caught off guard by life
As if it were a dream-
A fleeting moment-
Caught off guard in motion
Caught off guard by the poetry
That pours out of you
Involuntarily and incessantly?

Like when your pressure blocked ear
Suddenly opens and you realize
You are finally truly hearing for the
Very first time

Your closely watched soul
Suddenly sees the light unguarded by you
And fearlessly
It embraces life

I was caught off guard by you
In that moment of total vulnerability
Undefended by fear
And was conquered unconditionally
Forever by the thoughtless love

I look for your shadow in every ray of light