I sat in my car
Wanting to leave
But just for a minute
I put on a song to make me cry
And I shed a tear
A stupid tear
For moving forward
For not being the person
You wanted me to be
So I cried
And let my tears match the rain
Pattering on my windshield.

What is tho smile?
And why shine so bright?
You are a flower
In a field of thorns
But you shine so bright
Giving off so much beauty
I can't help
But take the thorns for you
So you can grow straight out to the sky

In my eyes
The light seems so much brighter
And colors
So much deeper
Your beauty
So much bigger
In my eyes
I can not deny
That you
Honey
In this light
Are so much more pretty
Than any sunset
Any night.

I would love
To love you forever
Until the sun explodes
And forever and ever.

I don't know why
I did what I did
I guess I listened
And did what people told me to do
Instead of what I wanted
And that was you
It has always been you
And I am glad you stayed
So I could steal you back.

They finally fixed
This small site
The one I abandoned for a while
But I am back
Fresh and fleek
And getting abandoned
From my own family.

Can I still write
A bit on this page?

I sinned today
A sinner I am
Then I went to work
And forgot
All together
Every issue
Every problem
For just a second
And it was nice
Just to forget
When you looked at me
And called me an *******
In a kidding way

I am gonna be selfish
And no longer care
If I destroy you
In thin air.

I am not gonna read any longer
And no longer write
Cause it seems you write to hurt me
A punch in the throat
And I hate it
Cause when I hurt you
I feel bad
But when you write to hurt
You don't seem to care.

I feel my hands are tied
My heart in two places
I feel pressured to love thy
But what if I can't love anymore
I love you
But I don't know
You have become someone so better
But
I don't know
It is so hard to say how I feel
Cause I want everyone happy.

Dr. Enuf is nasty
I really figured that out
I couldn't even drink it desperate
For anything else.
Ugh

I'm ****** up
And i'm scared

What is wrong with me
I was fine
Now I am not
Wanting to dress myself in red
And drown in it
I miss things
I guess
Or maybe this is just a episode
That I want to suffer from
Not die
I love life
I just don't like this moment
Right now

Bumblebee
Sweetheart
You have stole my heart
The poetry you write
Seeps into my soul
A beautiful cup of tea
Hot and ready
And I will drink deeply
And give my tea
Back to thy
My perfect
Bumblebee.

Taking a break
Is that what we are doing?
I don't know
I guess we are
But I don't know if I can go back
But you seem to know
I may not return
Into your loving arms
Other then a friend
Anymore

My teal hair
The perfect color
A clash from my sea green eyes
And ivory skin
Attention seeps into my skin
I want to change everything
Everything about me
This year has been a change
Let's end it
With a bang.

Today was one of those days
That gave a breath of cool air into my soul
And restarted my dark heart
Even for just a minute
I felt alright

Anything
I will take anything to get this feeling out of my chest
This headache out of my head
I can't take it.
I want it out
with blood
with a pill
with cancer in a stick.
Anything please
Just make me forget I exist.
I just wish
I loved life a little less.

I think it is time to set down the phone
Set down the poetry
and take a step back.
Cause what I am reading
Is only hurting me

The lie slipped off my tongue like poison
And into the tea to my loved ones
It hurt my chest
My breath coming fast
But I couldn't help but lie
to make everything alright
Push my problems under the carpet
And pretend it is all fine
I am alright
I promise
Another lie
Slipping out of my cheeks

The poems were a secret I bore
I just wanted to open up
And not break your heart
But i should have kept quiet
Should have stayed away
Cause I know you are noisy
And will read my stuff
Even if it hurts.

Hidden away
In dark places
Lie secrets
Forever mistakes
So hide away
Don't talk to others
It is better that way
Cause others cause drama

Keep your secrets
Keep them away.
Don't let the others know
How you feel in anyway.

Don't sell yourself short.
You are pretty **** amazing
No matter what anyone says.

I took one step forward
And two step back
I feel insane
And in over my head
I can't tell you how I feel
Cause I am lost as well
What is going on
Can I move on from this hell.

I'm depressed
And need a hug

Something is not quite right here
And it isn't me.

It is weird
That a story told from two mouths
Can be totally different.
Not one is similar.
The story you said you saw
Is not what I saw

To all my 50 followers (I love you guys)
If you want to read more of my poetry, not on here.
Then just inbox me
❤️❤️❤️

**** it up famm

And on that note
Might not be posting on here anymore
Worked ******* this account
But I guess times change
Might visit.
Who knows

I just wanna be alone
**** everyone
**** them
Leave me alone
At least for a little bit

I am gonna be someone
One day
Make someone truly happy
As they do me
I am just testing the waters
Seeing where I belong
Cause girl
I have done ****** up
Already enough

I will hide them deep.
The emotions and pain
Of hurting everyone around me
I am better then this
So I will hide what i will say.
Hide it deep
And hide well
Just so no one figures out
How I truly feel.

I am no one's.
I only belong to the wind
And the sea.
My breath fogging windows
On a fall day.

Steaming mad
Anger in my bones
Lava in my flesh.
**** college man
It can eat my ****

Stress riddled into my veins
A drug leaving my head in the clouds
No one cares about your stress
Just study for the tests.
3 in one day
What a gift
Stress in my veins
But it takes a lot to **** me.

Don't be sorry anymore.
You taught me something
I will never forget.
That love lasts forever
Even after one forgets.
Isn't that pretty?
You should be proud.
Never be sorry
You don't deserve it.

I'm changing
Into something
Not sure yet
But this phase
Feels almost like a butterfly
Just waiting to finally fly.

Don't wait for me
Cause I can't change this path I am on
The love for you is gone
And I don't want you waiting
For something to happen

I am sorry.
I have tried
But I am not gonna force love
Don't wait
Find happiness and not suffering
Waiting for me.

Why do i feel this good.
After all that went down.
I feel.... Good
It is like the eye of the tornado
And everything is silent and calm
I like it
The silence.
The smiles.
I have to stop putting myself down.

I keep reading
The words you wrote
The heart break is felt
In every note

I ****** you over
A heartless siren I am
I will never forgive myself
For not being able
To love you back.

How lovely the clouds look
From the ground below
Painting the world in darkness
Such a beauty to behold.

It is so weird
How this is my life
How I am alive in all this
And get to change my fate

But death will come
And somehow curiosity
Is in my skin
Of what happens
After my heart stops beating

Jump without a parachute
Don't look before I cross
Take more pills then prescibed
Will this make the pain in my chest go away
Will this make my face stop crying
Will death take a failer like me.

The guilt in my chest.
But I can't go back.
I know.
The future is unhealthy and unstable
But the guilt of disappointing everyone that liked us.
Do I go back?
Fake it all
Act like everything is alright to make everyone happy.
What do I do....

No one cares about you
But it is fine

Smoke into my lungs
Deep and painful
But breath it out as if nothing
Death a gift
Given from the smoke
But here I go
Straight into my addiction.

Guilty
A sinner
But that is what I am naturally
I will take this road
And see where it goes
And if it leads me to you
Then it is so
But I will not drag you along
For I love you so
And I will not cry anymore
For I am crying
Of what I did to you
And I don't want to cry anymore

I am not perfect.
I never have been.
I am ****** up
But don't talk to me if it hurts
Don't talk to me for an answer
Cause I have none.
I don't have a answer.
And I don't have a soul

We are broken up
And it is all my fault
But somehow
I can't seem to change my phone
To a picture
Other then us.

Breathing in
Deep and lovely
This calm
Isn't it lovely
Tears replaced with peace
Even if it isn't happiness
I like this break

No more tears for me.
Rap and punching
Pain is my new relief.