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you appear from the East
into a scene of purple and red shafts of light
that split the darkened rain burdened clouds
as the Sun falls away
catching a thousand eyes
mesmerize

silently gliding
capturing the minds of child and elderly alike
yellow beams of energy pulse as if alive
encircle you in waves
you pause and pull the thought from your admirers
we see the universe for just a moment

and you are gone

certainly our imagination caught us twitching
and today
reason has resumed
succumb to dreams unwavering call
to take you in tonight
to leave your grief at daylight's door
take refuge from the fight
succumb to mystic magic thoughts
that dance and play throughout
Saturn's rings and liquid things
of colors shine and shout
my refuge is a time
not place
where one small dream comes true
for in this dream
I dream I spend
eternity with you
11/2007
twilight
such a beautiful word
as if the sight itself could be heard
the soft glowing light from the sky
when the Sun is below the horizon,
caused by the refraction and scattering
of the Sun's rays from the atmosphere
it's so clear
come close
do you hear?
there is a dictionary's description of the word 'twilight' that begins and ends within this poem verbatim - It was so good I thought I'd use it
Voice calls gently in the night
mind awakens lucid flight
gazing from Orion's shores
Angels open dreamscape doors
shadows cross the face of Mars
lovers count the falling stars
Sun evokes a gentle breath
to mark another twilight's death
awaken dreamer to morning's light
dreams rest silent til birth of night
oldie re-worked
she walks at the edge of my sanity
and knows she can cross the line
where reason becomes a distant thought process
where anger engages fear
and control is hers
where the power she feels
excuses her brief, uncontrolled period
of love
It was at the 7th bridge
that I decided to jump
perhaps the cold night added incentive
or the fact that I had lost my favorite letter from you that day
the last one you wrote
before you found your own bridge
or perhaps 7 is just my lucky number
I was after all
the 7th child born
though my mum was told not to have more children
so you see
all my time here was cake anyway
I'm not tossing anything away
I'm just making things right

what is it about life that makes it so
difficult?
perhaps it's the inability for some of us
to store our baggage in a proper place
I fired one up on the loading dock
after eating lunch at the workplace cafeteria
I only smoke after a meal or when I'm contemplating death
and I may be contemplating death
because I just had lunch at the workplace cafeteria

my Mother would have a cigarette after dinner
and one before bed
that's probably where I got it
I got a lot of things from my Mother
and I lost a lot of things when she passed
much of my patience
along with a good chunk of character
I still don't cross the line
it's just gotten a bit further away

the memories of childhood have faded
like dates on old concert stubs
but the pain they both endured
in those last few years remains vivid
a stark reminder that life has balances
that illness does not discriminate
that bad decisions are unforgiving
I also believe that the after
holds balance as well
that someday
we will again be wrapped in the arms
of those we miss in life
and all shall be forgiven
oldie
it just appeared on the tv screen
like black bold letters on a computer
set at the largest font
there
between the two chatting faces
sitting at the table in a restaurant
upon the white wall
TOM


it just appeared
my name
and then faded away
the faces kept chatting
as I slapped myself
hoping to find that I was dreaming
but I was not
I was awake
someone had just sent me a message
a message that they were here
I could not move for several minutes
my heart raced and a cold wave
cut through me like winter wind
through a cheap coat
 
the shadows danced in a different manner
the chill I felt could not be subdued with blankets
the cracking walls and creeking floors were now alive
on this night
in this house
the haunting had begun
oldie - absolutely true story
They came by the hundreds
not thousands or millions
for millions had been vanquished
they came seeking some glimpse of hope
here at the shoreline
driven from their homes
by the fires that raged
seen even by those banished to Moon's Sector 9
airtight tears for those left to face certain genocide;
the cleansing
the great winged beast carried the Surveyor
to cross the Sea of Shadows
how many are left
he was to determine
how long before Earth is ours?
He delighted in their suffering
as he now hovered above them
just off the ocean's edge
'You can perish here or be taken to Sector 9
it is your choice
you are familiar with slavery
are you not?
So you shall adapt'
and with that he snorted and his beast whinnied maliciously
like some monstrous, hulking mule
while rearing it's hideous head
some tree limbs were moved where the beach front gave way to a patch of woods
revealing a crude catapult contraption constructed of wood planks,
rope and a leather pouch
it stood upon a wheeled platform with a handful of men surrounding it
one man held an ax
it had been adjusted and was now aligned with the beast
the Surveyor, upon seeing the weapon snorted louder in defiance
just as the ax came down to cut the rope
the boulder struck the beast just below it's long neck
it reared back violently, throwing the Surveyor into the Sea
then flailing and kicking as it screamed in agony
falling to it's death
One man stepped forward and pointed to the Surveyor
as he gasped for air, bobbing in and out of the waves
'This is our home and we will be staying' spoke Jodehon
a glimpse of hope

thus began the Battle of the Nines
I never hear them when they speak
only hours later
in the painfully lit basement of my home
with earphones and patience
do their words reach me
such was the case last October
I was driving through Wilderness, Virginia
for the first time and happened to pass
Saunders Field and caught sight of the plaque
that stood at the bottom of the hill
and a trail that led into the woods
where the fierce skirmishes took place
it was a bit chilly and windy
and the road nearby was busy with passing cars
not an ideal place for an EVP session
but I felt compelled to try
and walked the edge of the woods
then a short portion of the trail
I asked many questions directly to anyone
who may be listening
'How many souls perished here?'
'Are you one of those souls?'
'Did you suffer?'
'Why do you stay or visit this place?'
as usual, I heard no voices during the 18 minutes
of questioning
however, the presence was undeniable
I was not alone here
this I knew
on the way back down the hill to leave
I reached out one final time;
'I have about 20 seconds left, so if you'd like
to say something, please say it now'
again I heard nothing, turned the recorder off
and departed

it was several days before I could return home
and review my recording
but my curiosity as always
grew stronger the longer I had to wait
I was disappointed as I began to listen
nothing heard as each minute passed
only the whisper of wind and cars
until I came to my final question in those last moments...
'I have about 20 seconds left, so if you'd like
to say something, please say it now.'

'Leave me under the ground........human'
I have been spirit seeking for about 3 years now after an experience with a spirit that completely hooked me on this phenomenon. I own numerous evp's and video recordings and will continue and increase my participation in this field upon my retirement later this year.
The big C
come to get me
like a snake in the grass
crawling quiet and slow
you begin to grow
taking small, sleeping victims
while I sleep
while I dream
but you made the mistake
that snakes often make
you bit off more than you could chew
I knew it was you
there is only one item now
on your menu
fire
I got his ***!
Winter wind makes it's way down this Virginia mountainside
creating the hum of bending trees
dogs bark at moving deer
light slowly leaves
as it nears closing time at this country store
wood burning stoves are stoked
and the small mountain town of Pine Grove
settles in for a cold night

One last visitor arrives
his quiet stride moves with the wind
I'm greeted with that childish grin
that never leaves the Birdman
he is James Dean cool
John Wayne tough
and Jimmy Stewart kind
his visits are like a good bottle of wine
always ending too soon

He winks and says; 'Goodnight brother'
then walks into the darkness
the Birdman left us this night
riding the wind to the kingdom he knew awaited him
The Birdman (Todd Torrey) died at age 53
he was a regular customer in my little country store
I sent this piece to 2 local papers and they each published it
one morning just after opening
his widow walked in my store and set about a dozen letters
she'd received from friends regarding the piece on the counter
they were all very positive and she said I had captured his spirit
if I never have a book published or have my work read beyond the friends
that stop by this site, those few words from her were all the reward I'll ever need
....and so they swam together
the Bluegill and the Sunfish
respectful of one another
surviving each other
sharing the moths and flies and grasshoppers
that i provided them
taking turns snatching each from the surface
in their 10 gallon pond
that sits on a table in the corner,
serene
one day I mistakenly added a 3rd
and together the Bluegill and the Sunfish attacked,
plucking one eye of the stunned little Perch
'If you wish to view us swimming together
whilst you contemplate another pathetic poem,
do not add a 3rd to our happy little pond
unless you plan on getting a larger pond!'
it was difficult to understand them through the bubbles,
but I got the message
I had no room for a bigger pond
so I let them be
I took One-Eye Perch back to the big Pond and released him
I hope he's still not swimming in circles
for many months they gave me much pleasure
I'd watch them chase each other through the sunken tugboats
and fake sea plants
seeing their surprised, then angry looks
when they'd bite down on a rubber worm I'd toss in their pond
only to eventually laugh about it
very often they'd come to the corner closest to the tv
and watch 'The Simpsons' with me
One day I realized that they had grown too big for their little home
and I sadly faced the fact that they must be returned to their birthplace;
the Hill High Pond
the next morning I gathered up Bluegill and Sunfish in a small bowl while they slept
I paddled a canoe to the middle of the Pond at daybreak and awoke my friends
at first they seemed confused, but it quickly dawned on them where they were and what my plan was
I gently lay them one by one into the clear, calm water
as they swam away slowly
turning to wave their little fins in both goodbye and thanks
a Carp the size of Moby **** appeared from below and made a quick snack of them both
a tear welled in my eye as I stare dumbfounded at the unsettled water
a Catfish that looked remarkably like Fred Sanford
stuck his head and whiskers out of the pond just long enough to say;
" Ain't that a *****!?"
I paddled reluctantly back to shore
where I spotted an old man fishing from the edge
apparently he had witnessed the entire episode
"Years ago I got friendly with a tuna I'd caught in the Black Sea
came home one day just in time to see his tail hangin' outta my cat Charlie's mouth
first rule of the Sea, son
Never get attached
they'll just break your heart"
...and so goes my tale of Bluegill and Sunfish
a tail of two fishes
i must gather myself
it has been far too long
the darkness awaits
the calling is strong
the fear has subsided
i sense their confusion
am i the ghost
are they an illusion?
they remain close to me
i can feel them about
come see us Thomas
they silently shout
i enter the dark
in the shadows i revel
to walk with the angels
or dance with the devil
when it's time to return to what I love
they scatter like klegetts when we turn our lights on
they see well in the Sun
this is why we wait for night’s cover
to begin the hunt
when they search for food

we note that they are beginning to feed on themselves
as their numbers diminish and their food supply wanes
we’re not sure when they started here
notations from the last visitors
reflect a pristine oasis
if we are to make this place our home
we must eliminate this useless species
after years of study they are shown to have
only negative impact on their surroundings

in the beginning I felt remorse for these creatures
however, after learning that they have caused the extinction
of numerous species
docile inhabitants
my remorse has turned to determination
to see them vanquished
and to clear a path for the return to the majestic beauty
that once thrived here


the humans are close to elimination
the cleansing is nearly complete
a little alien takeover humor
'let's walk to the ocean'
said the passing clown to the mime
it's quite a long way
expressed the mime
'yes it is?'
the clown replied
mime frowned
and they began walking...
clown in his big floppy red shoes
mime improvising as he went

at the edge of town they ran into a juggler
on the corner trying to pick up a few coins in his cup
clown asked the juggler if he'd care to join them
in their walk to the ocean
juggler said 'why not, things are kind of
up in the air for me right now'
they headed west toward the coast
clown had 5 boxes of Mike and Ikes...every flavor
in his red scarf on a stick
mime had plenty of slim jims
this would keep them fed until they reached their destination

several hours into their odyssey
a storm approached
a lone well drawn pine provided refuge until the storm cleared
as well as a snack and chance to learn of each other's journey
to this point
clown had done many things throughout his life
in pursuit of love, home and family
but he had failed in his search for a life he always dreamed of
and now this face of heavy make-up and big red nose would
hide the fact that he lived a life of constant sadness
mime had been a singer and worked for years to perfect
his craft... dreamed of making it to the big stage
but he refused to sing what they wanted him to sing and even though he had amazing talent, he was refused time and time again
becoming a mime would mean he'd never be reminded of the beautiful voice he possessed
juggler was a star pitcher known for his amazing fastball when he graduated college and was only days from signing a contract with the Yankees when a car accident damaged his shoulder so severely he lost his fastball
he juggles to keep his arm in shape in case his fastball ever returns
juggler asked clown why they were headed to the beach
mime was interested as well and produced the perfect look of inquiry
clown stood up...tossed the red scarf on a stick full of Mike & Ike's over his shoulder, brushed himself off and replied...
'why not?'
no idea where this came from
Surprised to find me in your lair
lucifer?
that look is unbecoming
yes
I am well aware of your wickedness
as are the Gods
they only shake their heads in despair
and send me to do their bidding
unlike yourself
I do not crave to bestow suffering
your death shall be brief
come now
did you really believe that your empire
built on the blood and corpses of the innocent
would come without retribution?
Sin
lucifer
is never overlooked
or eclipsed by power
power you will now relinquish for eternity
say goodbye to your precious hell
and hello to a new one
for your soul shall reside in the company of those you took
a rather fitting punishment don't you think?
is that fear I detect in the eyes of the great lucifer?
your presence is awaited with great anticipation
and I shall give them their prize
oldie
when I lay beside my lover
the world below us runs for cover
the wretched cannot touch us here

faces turn in stark dismay
blood runs cold
their thoughts are gray
vacant eyes are dull with fear

they sense the light
that soon will burn
will rid our haven
of those who spurn
a world of love is drawing near
the wretched cannot touch us here
oldie
it settles in like powder after an eruption
a radical beginning
ending in quiet ashen snow
reducing all color of landscape
to a blurry black and white snapshot
all plants, waterways and wind of change
to wretched silence
the coming of age
death shows itself in our faces
and our relevancy is reduced to nostalgia
biding time
hanging on to thoughts of young days and old ideas
pretending we have fended off
the coming of the gray
a long time coming
the snow
two weeks from April's warmth
and calming showers
it has finally arrived
mother nature's way of saying
slow down
sit back and reflect
take the day off and build a snowman
with the kids
live
when life gives you the cue
have always loved the snow
I walk
head down through the bitter cold
only a light buckskin for warmth
there is little food
and no time for rest

I am near the front
no idea how many are lost
the old, the sick
the little ones

the memory of these days
along the trail of tears
will die
like the burning embers of a once mighty fire

these horrors will not be spoken
in the teachings of those whose greed
and cold hearts
outweighed their compassion
whose concrete jungles mar
the once majestic landscape

the years of separation grows
but the atrocities shall never be vanquished
in the realm of the spirit world
and those who initiated the culling
pay their penance
and walk the trail for eternity
the darkness deepens and slowly sighs
as it folds itself around me
envelops me in its thick
choking love
I awaken to shallow breath
and thoughts that border on madness
my sleep is no longer my escape
but rather a harbor for the remnants
of what once was a good life
rough times
the darkness
always lingering on the edge
around the next stroke of midnight
in the breath catching laughter
or the smile of living
somewhere deep and not quite hidden
I am fooled again
and pulled again
as this unforseen weight takes hold
the reasons unclear
it stains my thoughts like mold on cheese
the darkness is always there
always returning
eventually
oldie
I am prey to the unyielding Sun
here in this open field
void of shade
holding precious pieces
untouched for 140 years
200 acres of Virginia farmland beneath my feet
where bullets flew
where strong men screamed
and the soil looked as if it had rained blood
death can come quickly or painfully slow

A soldier rips the Eagle breastplate from his chest
and throws it to the ground where I am standing
and here in the sweltering heat
of a calm June afternoon
I pull it from its resting place
no longer shining
140 years removed
from the failing heart
beneath it
re-post
down here
behind his Master's eyes
behind his hollow smile
awaiting the chance
the Master's call

rain has soaked the dense, hot night
steam rises like thick breath
from the pavement
laughter dances with the leftover sounds
of a city's hard rain
as she catches the Master's eye
he pauses
strikes a match
inhales deeply the Marlboro smoke
the signal for the Dragon to awaken
Gray ash fell to scorched landscape
like dying moths
only scattered shells remain
of once noble statues
monuments of steel
fragmented against a burning sky
the face of apocalypse
grimaced an unwavering defiance
wings of angels
sent burning air snaking, swirling
as they descended
collecting the souls worthy of salvation
worthy of another life
in another time
In the dim light of the kitchen
I noticed she was standing,
gazing through the window
for quite some time
I took another sip of coffee
and made my way over
her back to me
I put my arm round her shoulder as I often do
"What do you see out there in the dark?"
she didn't answer
just continued to stare
then turning slightly toward me
I saw a tear had made it's way down her cheek
her hand was shaking just enough that I would notice
"I don't remember walking over here"
she said in such a pitiful voice
that I had to fight back my own tears
"You're just tired
Maybe we should turn in early"

Like the dying light of a distant star
I was losing her
a little more each night

In the dim of the kitchen
I sip my coffee
and eye a black patch of sky
where once flickered the light of a star
so brightly
The footsteps come
and he knows
though his throat is dry as dust
and his body ravaged
he knows
it is his turn
eyes sunken and glazed
give no hint that this is welcomed knowledge
he clings to the energy of memories
that somehow remain clear
his life unfolds in thought
the cry of his firstborn
the warmth of his only love

the footsteps come to a stop
he wonders if this staunch, stone face of the soldier
that now stands before him has ever known such love
he is able to get to his feet and accepts no help
he nods to the living corpses that remain
vacant of hope
awaiting their turn
outside he manages to raise his eyes toward what little Sun
finds its way through the dense cloud of humanity
it seems to give him strength
he mutters 'vergeben ihre seelen' as he makes his way towards the showers
the soldier hears
pauses for just a moment
and continues on
vergeben ihre seelen (forgive their souls)
In the finer lines of my Mother's eyes
where backroads lead to secret tears
much is spoken when one explores
the map that etches those many years

expressed in smiles and subtle stares
when the world is harsh and cruel
calm washes through your tested soul
that stings of ridicule

in the finer lines of my Mother's eyes
life's riches are retained
and the wells that feed her loving child
through those eyes are sustained
Dare I enter this darkness once again
listen to whispers of the dead
taste the tears that drip unknown
into hell's rage
**** this blight
this cancer of the human soul
to which I return unconsciously
unwittingly
pathetically unflinching
what evil did I inflict in a past life
that has sentenced me to this eternal nightmare
what spirit invades my thoughts
and pulls me deep
into this place of damnation,
my soul captivated by the fires of Ork
my heart blinded to the wonders of light
my God
this tree
it fascinates me
it is alive I know it
it whispers when I pass
and bows in recognition
proud and hovering over the drive
like a gargoyle over the city
always there
always watching
a reminder that there are ghosts
that shadow us
that wait for us to notice them

and now the tree is gone
toppled onto the road
and removed
like an old soldier
that served well
but just fades away
all but forgotten

now I am gone
after 11 years of watching over this property
brothers of the night
we were
it has taken a piece of me to it's grave
as with the others
you rarely spoke of your garden with me
and here you are
at all hours
watering and trimming weeds
cupping a rose lovingly in your delicate hand
and closing your eyes to savor it's scent
why would you not share this beauty,
your creation?
I did not choose to leave you, my love
and the endless days and nights I spend
here in your garden
awaiting your return
is where I choose to remain
this is where we all choose to remain
until the day we grow weary of our broken souls
and whisper in the ear of a love stricken comrade
'dig up the garden'
the ghost in the window has returned
he knows
he knows when you believe him gone
his patience
you cannot outmaneuver patience
he watched us grow
from grunts
to talkers
he knows what you are thinking
tomorrow
you can only win
by giving in
ask him nicely to leave
then beg
then cry
you may find peace
long after your tears
are dry
be careful if you enter the spirit realm. it can be a nasty business
float like a butterfly
sting like a bee
may you rest in peace
Muhammad Ali
Boxing reached it's pinnacle with Ali - Frazier and Ali - Foreman. It's never been close since those fights and likely never will be. Ali, though his record at the end may not reflect it, was the greatest boxer ever. strong, fast and smart. How he absorbed Foreman's body shots and had enough in the tank to knock him out, I'll never now...but somehow he did it. He was truly an amazing fighter and at his best in the early years. Watch the Liston fights and you'll see what I mean. RIP Mr. Ali
For years I had heard stories about the Hawthorne Library,
that it was haunted,
especially the basement  
where the 19th Century books were kept.
For this reason, people tended to stay away
from the ground floor.
I had also heard that they were going to close the Hawthorne soon,
so I decided that my next ghost hunt would take place there.

Two days later, about 30 minutes before closing,
I entered the Hawthorne with my bulky camcorder
tucked neatly in my backpack along with a sandwich and coke.
It was a crisp December night and about an inch of snow had fallen,
leaving the library nearly empty.

I worked my way towards the stairs leading to the basement,
and when certain I wasn't seen,
made my way down the stairs.
I was alone.
It was colder down here as the heat made it's way up
to the higher floors.

At 9 pm, the lights went off as they closed,
and the heat was turned down.
What latch was that she just turned? I must be hearing things.
I heard the front door close and
I was alone,
here in the basement of the Hawthorne building.
The only light I had was the street light that barely made
its way through the ground level's 100 year old window's
thick glass and steel bars.

I settled into a corner and waited for my eyes
to adjust to the darker conditions.
I placed a 90 minute tape in my recorder
as the wind whipped outside
and the snow blowing about
made eerie shadows on the walls.

One story tied to the Hawthorne
was the tale of 8 year old Melissa who had wandered from her mother
to the stairs leading to the basement.
Before she turned back,
the door swung,
hitting her and sending her tumbling down the stairs
to her death.

The Librarian,
who disappeared one day
only to be found the next,
huddled in one corner of the basement,
the victim of an apparent heart attack
at 28 years of age.

There were more stories,
but I blew them off as urban legends,
a little truth surrounded by years of
creative storytelling.

It was getting really cold...
did they turn the heat off completely?
I gulped the remainder of my ham sandwich
and decided to get started.

Before I could turn the recorder on,
I thought I heard a voice,
a whisper really... a small girl.
I finally located the 'on' button,
fighting to keep it steady.
Again I heard the whisper;
'why are you here?' followed by a giggle.

What is your name little girl?
Another giggle from the same direction,
then it circled me.
Never, in all my experiences of conversing with the dead,
had I heard a voice so clear as this.

'Last night' it repeated...
3 or 4 times as she giggled...
'last night, last night, last night'
'what do you mean...last night?'

'Last night for the Library, silly...
didn't you know?'
suddenly, I heard laughter coming from all corners
of the basement
it became louder and louder...
'Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!'
a deafening male voice half choking on his laughter...
'But you won't be alone...
'Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...' a pounding, gurgling laugh...
'No, you won't be alone...Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha........'

They said I died from exposure
when they opened the basement
six months later to begin renovations.
Seems the Hawthorne was going to become
an apartment building.

But I was dead long before my body froze.
They'll discover this fact when they find my camera
on the shelf
right next to
'The Tell Tale Heart'  
...her favorite book!
oldie - more a short story
storms roll in
as my final breath approaches
it begins it's journey as that breath is taken
dancing upon a lightning bolt to the clear night sky above
shimmering moonlight it follows to islands of crystal blue waters
then shooting up to the outskirts of Heaven
to frolic among the constellations
turning from Orion to look upon it's new home
and allowed a moments burn
the time savored
the life lived upon the planet of oceans and mountains and lush green fields
the planet where love is unique
and power is held by a heartless few
where the many lives touched
and memories rendered
will fade like the morning fog
into the lost oasis of time
this
the journey of my soul
the last lover leaves
before dawn
before the necessity of conversation
stale coffee reheated
brings the numbing reality that this was your last chance
old man
there's nothing left
no slivers of heart to give away
no thoughtful whispers in the dark that clever lovers say
you can no longer dance with brittle bones
your game has left you
and they were all games
were they not?
until the last sliver

now walk the shoreline as you always do
when they leave
and ponder the idea of love
who's that on the grassy knoll
disappeared down a rabbit hole
what's that on the picket fence
puff of smoke it all makes sense
metal flyin' everywhere
we all know but they don't care
mauser was the toy they found
it don't match the killer's round
soldiers soldiers follow me
I'll tell you what you need to see
there's only one goal
only one mission
believe the lie
the Dulles Commission
the lie
Quiet whispers from the awaiting sinners
as Johnny receives his penance
4 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers
are delivered by Father Edwards
in the customary harsh manor
to Johnny Watson
'he's been in there a long time!
musta' got caught peekin' on his sister takin' a shower!'
giggles echoed off the walls of Saint Ignatius and for a second
I thought I saw Jesus himself slightly raise his head and frown in displeasure
'Shhhhush!' came the immediate response from the pews behind us
filled with the loyal disciples who commit every Sunday morning and more
to God and his church

I was no altar boy
nor did I want to be
but the Catholic church was my guiding light you might say
it was the line between me and those mortal sins
the line that punched God should you cross
but when they wouldn't come to see my mother when she had a stroke…
(they said they didn't do that anymore)
after giving 10% of her hard earned dollars for years and years,
that line began to fade
they took her seed but returned no fruit
they fed her sermons, but disappeared in her darkest hours
left her without a line to her God
without a sinless hand to hold as she was about to journey
to her awaiting Heaven

this gave me grave doubts about the church
made me question it's motives, it's meaning
it's value

then one day I discovered that priests were molesting  young children in droves
the Cardinal used the Catholic church's power
to move them from parish to parish  
like unwanted guests
instead of sending them to prison
the treachery
innocent children ***** and scarred forever
in the very house of God
by those in whom they placed their trust

when the sacred **** finally hit the fan
the Cardinal was called to Rome by the Pope
this was his punishment

I believe in God
I seek his guidance not through the church
and I fear for the children who's line has disappeared
Within this colossal concrete tomb
the shadows of the workers loom
their vanquished voices engulf the night
for few have knowledge of their plight
some fell to their death
while the walls were poured
their screams unheard
as the mixture roared
some walked this oasis
before the white man's hand
bloodied the soil
and defiled the land
they acknowledged the spirits
and respected the earth
then fell to the edict
and their ruler's mirth
within these walls of needless death
where souls remain forlorn
the cries of many will tear your heart
should you stay to hear them mourn

Inspired by the 'Ghosthunters'episode: Flooded Souls
the memories
at least those pre - incept date
are presented in shuffle mode
designed to initiate during down time
when heart rate slows
less random and more vivid than human
Roy had no idea
until now
that he could very well be dying
he seemed to be thinking outside the realm
of typical replicant query

why were his dreams ending before completion
his ravenous appetite diminishing
his fixation with the moon now fading

death comes quickly to the replicant
no long suffering illness
many humans must face
the clock stops ticking
and the implants die first
leaving the final few moments
all his, all Roy

were his tears
like his memories
lost in rain
perhaps his most human trait
is revealed in his final moments
the acceptance of death
amid the realization he had lived
I will enter this dream
as I enter a room of ghosts
with curiosity overriding my fear
with less time to protect
the darkness becomes my haven
the voices I cannot see
are now my friends
and the other side
opens to me a veil of unseen light
do not fear the death of flesh and bone and blood
but rather embrace the mind, soul and heart
that guides you even as you breathe
it will live forever
and life as we know it is only the beginning
of its ultimate beauty
re-post
Hold fast the crescent moon
stay the edge til the orb be full
time and spirit will arch your view
crack the void with specks of light
breathe deep in a pause of hope
step away from a second lost
freeze the spiral pattern laid
blank the screen of thought
succumb not to the tide that pounds
your bleeding heart like a thousand drums
deny the ocean another soul
turn
and feel the Sun
inspired by the 'Rush' song of the same name
and in these bleakest of nights
when my self analysis
third person psychobabble
holds minimal sway
i run from the dark
into the black
into the pitch
where i am safe
from all light
all thought
until the passing
the silent storm that rages
will end only with time
or submission
the dreams are forgotten quickly
no longer a source of interest
of mystery
or even sadness
they are simply accepted and left to vanquish
into the ether
the years
the words
the search for fire
in a dormant soul
the light is flickering
the voice is quieting
the vision of a kindred spirit
is all but blind hope
the poet in me
meanders alone in his thoughts
that are short and void of secrets
he no longer hears the call
no longer seeks the path
to discovering
the perfectly articulated
thought
cant think of any
In the haunts of a shadow he dwells
unseen
so as not to surrender his stoic vision
unheard
eyeing his subject with cat-like secrecy
prowling among the broken souls
absorbed in the sorrow of the hopeless
destined to report on the status of pain

from his silent pulpit
to silent eyes
the poet returns
to affix a smile
the poetry of simplicity
the delicate wonder of a stars timeless light
the soft soul dance of lovers unspoken emotion

the intricate and infinite world of dream memories
that lay waiting for the routine,
yet vastly uncharted landscape of sleep

and in sleep
the poet thrived
washed in fields of light
and oceans of pure and pristine thought

in the day
when the universe was kind
it would send him the words
that began the story
of his dreamscape

some say he was reaching for a pen
as new words fell from the Sun
he drifted slowly and silently from the road
the words never written
the dream never shared
by this simple man
I could not weather these aching thoughts of you
haunting pictures
were it not for the presence
of the quieting wind
I dare not enter these caverns of memory
almost touching
were it not for the calmness
of the quieting wind
I would sleep for a thousand years
dreams awaiting
were it not for the awakening
of the quieting wind
and here I lay
on this windswept hill
you drop a rose
and I watch you go
the quieting wind
carries your voice back to me
as once again you say goodbye
there are no dreams here
they are but fragments of thought
dismissed and abandoned to the wilderness
of our imaginations
to intersect or collide
perhaps hundreds or thousands at a time
to create some kind of patchwork mosaic of
tossed millisecond ideas and flashes of imagery
that have nowhere to go
these are not dreams
a vast wasteland of connected disconnected energy
of the mind

last night we walked together
and discovered our shared love of art
and ghosts
while the world slept
while I slept
I later met you in a book store
where we paged through Vangogh prints
and discussed the peculiarities of  'The Smoking Skull'
I awoke to a beautiful Sun and for a few joyous seconds…thought to
call you

there are no dreams here
I remember a line from a movie long ago;
'There's a hole in my heart that cannot be filled'

It was five years ago I had first heard of him.
'Hayden sat next to me at lunch, Daddy,' she would sigh,
and we would tease her,
her older brother, sister and I.
'Well, you need to talk to him, tell him that you like him'
'I can't do that, the kids would make fun of me. Besides, I'm only six!'
From kindergarten through 4th grade,
this modern day Tom Sawyer had captured my little girl's heart.

We sat in the back of the church,
Hayden's Father is saying goodbye to his son.
She rests her head on my shoulder,
her strength deeper than my own.
I came to know him this day,
this beautiful child who brought a light to my own.
His huge, brown eyes reflecting love of youth
and the joy that resides in innocence.
Those moments so pure,
her thoughts of Hayden will no longer grace our lives.
How wonderful they were.
There's a hole in my heart that cannot be filled,
and the light of childhood has been dimmed.
The balance of joy and pain has come much too soon
to one so young, my little girl.
Hayden died when he was struck by a falling goal post during a soccer game in which he was the goalie. It was an incredibly difficult time.
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