Thinking always brings everyone to a common level.
Thinking is the communist of mysticism.
It is a pool of common feelings.
Thinking makes one equal to all creatures.
Every atom is regarded the same.
And so thinking unites existence.

The unity of anger is a paradise of redness.
It is a wall that cannot be broken by any means except understanding.
It is the self in its royal attire come to announce personal truth that cannot be shaken, or maybe it can.
Either way one is in doubt concerning one's abilities and shrinks from the strong servants.
For one's reality is that of a fawn, brittle and weak, yet attacked by the world just because it lives.
It is the red eye of the world and it presses down further on it still.
It is a unity in which you can see all - from a jail cell.
It is understood misunderstanding.
It is being stuck in a rut of being.
It is the moksha of being dumbfounded.
It is a hundred martyrs vying for sorrow.

But calling anger a unity necessarily makes the anger leave and the unity come.

Walking through the house
putting my coat on
smoking on the porch alone

The Greatest Holy Leaf
wears me out.

My body sits by
the door of your soul.

A countenance with
no sore.

A woman that
keeps me a boy.

A woman in
sackcloth.

How can I know
the Greatest Holy
Leaf's sorrows?

She was old
at my age.

She lived with
a dry mouth.

And ears burning
by the out-door
winds.

She is tethered
to a glass.

Her eisegesis hidden
from anyone's
ear.

She was queen
of heaven and
earth.

Her face talks
of cool waters.

She is a master
of the heart.

She was eaten
by the raven
of envy.

Her true supernal
eyes betrayed
by a thousand
rulers.

A hundred thousand
scholars reduced
her soul to nothingness.

A myriad sages
clouded her
mind.

Her sword of
wisdom sheathed.

The rule of the self is exalted above
any adherence to any thing/feeling.
Their notions of doubt ruling over existence and
is in the supreme station of reason and power.
It sheds the former existence of yesterday
inasmuch as we are always recreated.
The philosopher's stone which
can conceive of no other thought
except the originality of the self.

It drinks the seven seas as if a drop and
asks, "Is there yet any more?"
No authority save the intimate friend
can find its way here.
Every stranger is betrayed and
its chariot becomes outworn for the rider.

And when they look at themselves
they behold their powerlessness in
the face of every nation, which
simply makes them embark on
the conquest of their own heart.

Every listener is as a bullet to their
enemy.
Every truth is as a fallen warrior
for their Cause.
No wind is sufficient to curtail their
sense of direction.
Every human acknowledged is as a piece
of sand supporting their path.

There is no end to their perturbing of the skies.
The poem is unfinished as the scribe of
their tale is astounded by the
regeneration of their march.

My brain capacity
dwindling to
3  hours of study
per day.

What do I do with
the time off?

Do I sift the internet
for diamonds?

"Only a temporary awareness can know something finite."
~Robert Spira

A root of confusion in math
is not knowing whether a term
is a noun, verb, adjective, or adverb.

An equation is nothing but
a string of nouns.
But I may think about these nouns,
by their adjective or adverb
alternatives, for example,
which convolute the matter.

Verbs in math are really the outliers.
Thus, I've been thinking wrong
with "math is a verb" mentality.
The most common math terms are
nouns, which function alone
as subjects and objects.

What I think of as "doing math"
is akin to "doing porch".
It entails a deck, railing, stairs,
a chair, a roof.
So too, does math include these
things.

I walk on the stairs and deck.
I sit on the chair.
I enjoy the roof's shade.
So too, the things of math are
used via terms which are not
included usually in math terminology.

Almost the only verb used in
math is "think" which is convoluted
by the subjects/objects which I
employ during thinking.

I can only learn one word at a time,
for an equation,
one character at a time.

"The highest [theoretical physics] models are extremely general in their domains of application and, because of their generality, give little insight into actual behavior." ~Stephen Omohundro
:
Because humans think both linearly and non-linearly
there can be no ultimate pattern of
mathematics equations.

Since all computers can work out any math,
then my problems of math thinking
are simply that I have a lack of
ANDs, ORs, or NOTs
in my brain connection.

The independent, or guru-free,
meditator,
has no close companions
except other independent meditators.
This relationship is not like sharing rays of light,
but like sharing freedoms.

All mathematical equations
from differential equations
to quantum field theory
to string theory,
have a backdrop,
i.e. can be read as,
a series of fractions
with differing numerators
and denominators.

The soul is Calabi-Yau
every quality of topological string theory
correlates to the workings of my consciousness.

String theory,
I used to refuse,
but from topological soul,
to spacetime soul,
finally to what is here expressed.

A light growing bright,
and changes frequency.
Earth forgotten a time
before the push screen.

Wow, understanding the concepts of half a differential equations course online
completely integrated five years of physics concepts
along with all my self-study of calculus and manifolds.
Yet still I march on.

that I have to do math problems to understand it,
doesn't realize that doing unsolvable problems still leaves me confused.
And I'm back to where I was before I did the problems (okay not really),
but there is nothing wrong with note taking, watching, listening, and reading math without problems.
THere is nothing wrong with reading, writing, listening, and watching math without problems.

Whatever is most left out of a class is what the equilibrium of ignorance will revert back to.
So choose what to leave out.

The self-learner and the student both realize that "I" have learned nothing over and over again.
Information is just a tool for recognizing qualities,
and will forever be preserved in its innocence/stupidity.

If I can't make something into logical sense via concepts, then I make it spacially sensical by knowing certain aspects  of a class have repeated.
E.g. in my brain I label a verse with tabs pertaining to a previous line of thought.
E.g. like playing target practice.

Liberal arts will always seem to carry forward messages which are unpalatable to a mathematician, except rules of language and the enactment of equal rights.

I probably did drugs and injured my brain so that I could love liberal arts and get the full breadth of life.
Now I find once again its inexactness revolting.
All their words are dependent on the right feeling, at the right time, in the right place.

It is so true that I write my own narrative, and it won't be until my last breath that my highest ideal is vindicated.

210 college credits...
5 years of understanding physics concepts...
and 9 months of math problems...
makes me still freshman.

There is a difference between the language of math and the calculating of math.
Calculations prove knowledge of lower levels.
Language of math proves knowledge of higher levels.
It is the difference between reading topology and being able to reduce it.
It is the difference of reading a differential equation and solving one.
Reading is connected to concepts while calculations are based on pushing buttons.
"Stop teaching calculating.  Start teaching math." ~Conrad Wolfram
He says I should think about posing questions in the real world (or the holographic one).
University still hasn't become up to date.

Every day in math I face the halting problem:
whether I can finish a proof,
or whether I will go on trying to prove forever.
At any given point
all problems become an undecidable problem.
Time for a break.

I truly must shut down my right-brain from seeking more meaning from my partial left-brain understanding,
or else I'll lose sight of any lesson except the utmost whole.

...is like solving a crime that has left microbial evidence all over the city and in the adjoining ocean.

If it doesn't matter spacially whether there is a 1st or 2nd, etc., connection, then this matter shouldn't matter within reason.
As long as a connection is made or not made, that is all that will stand out.  
The kind of connection made cannot be spacially signified except via overlap or by tangency, so therefore, within reason the kind of connection made should not stand out either.
Therefore, this subject of topology is really a matter of 'connect the dots'.

Self-studying is the dichotomy of enthusiastically knowing more and insignificantly knowing nothing, along with the roots and branches of motivation

I just use constructive proofs, which creates or gives a method of creating an object.
I use intuitionistic logic by not using the law of the excluded middle where either the proposition of its negation is true.
I use the law of non-contradition and law of identity.
Or, maybe I just use a lot of fuzzy logic, which utilizes data that is vague or imprecise.

I found a reason to continue.

Math is a kind of "Chaos magic" - look it up.
How symbols are used, determines the effects from doing it.
D- or F material for a school, but sublime sunshine autodidactic style.

Autodidacticism is about making my study space become alive with the insight of other self-directed learners.
From Addison's dad, Mr. Strilich, Mr. Philpott, to even da Vinci.
Thanks guys.

Differential manifolds works on the visual status of my brain just as elements or compounds reacting with each other exchanging electrons.
How simple to imply, how hard to deduce.
Who needs these similes?

I just like to keep an inch of coffee in my mug.

Existence that remains unknown is existence without rules.
Since 'kun fiya kun' or "Be, and it is" is so basic,
the only answer to "being" that solves is b+e=be.
Still I question: "what am I, now?" as if I've never heard an answer.

My mind cannot cognize its own existence with "be" nor another verb.
Its rationality is as truth, which has no limits.
Yet, in the midst of expansion it asks "what am I?"
Answering: "fullness" is rejected when I can reject the fullness.

"Disbelief" is what I am when everything is going right but I must say "I am not there yet".
This disbelief is the wind in my sails, without it I would not have gone anywhere.
For even positive knowledge says "there is more to find", really saying "you are not you".
Thus, I am never.
Whereby "be" laughs and says "still, there is nothing".

knowing is a verb
to know is present tense
known is past tense

By value of how facts change how I view how I know, they are a degree apart.
I believe at all is because of Jesus' Spirit communicated by the mass devotion of Christians (AllahuAbha).
I must act to friends as if in devotion.
No pain, no gain.
Solving real problems is the only way to learn math.
Accomplishment veils my mind from learning.
The quantity of information is endless.
Money is needed for almost everything.
Very hard issues are sometimes only resolved by quitting.
Fools are the greatest disease.
Emotional support is the strongest support.
Emotion and belief are tied together in the male world.
Emotion and kindness are tied together in the mixed world.
An able body gives many duties.
Rules are a wiseman's trajectory and the fool's posion.
A good roommate reminds me of my father.
School cannot give me a job unless I want it.
No betrayal is worse than a machine of lies.
Many creative minds are utterly wrong.
The people in utter power and control of the world have a wisdom which fools envy, rebels curse, and the wise fall in line.
The world's wisdom is cursed by the impoverished, and the impoverished have no worldly wisdom.
A heart well-broken can have lasting effects for a decade (or more?).
Once I realized no one helps the strong, I've found no one soft (except my parents).
All life and energy is information, and it all operates at the same level of intelligence.
Evolution is not a staircase but rather a bush or seaweed.
I never really regret saying anything, because I wouldn't have learned otherwise.
The yet-to-marry or the undivorced may always fancy a wedding.
Society's institutions play a large role in adult formation, and still play a role, however removed (or not), in midlife.
Children will always be the most valuable asset.
Youth will always be the life of the world's party.
Obey competent doctors.
Obey competent doctors.
Obey competent doctors.
Sometimes rewiring the brain through drugs is the only way to straighten the path.
Sometimes visions come, giving wonder, however brief.
The parties of the unsaved are always the best.
Don't be afraid to stick out like a sore thumb, otherwise you'll grow tired of hiding it amongst the fingers.
Parents have a profound psychological impact on children.
ET's are awesome.
Physics wasn't loved until it was hated.
Space travel will always make us dream.
Beauty speaks to all ages.
Nothing can stop the tirade of a rebel.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Be careful who babysits your kids.
Astrology can **** all natural wondering in life.
Astrology bestows direction for the future (now that you know it).
Nothing is worse than a person who blames everything on astrology except someone who blames everything on everyone else.

The sparrows' tweets attune to my very soul.
The crows' attune to my very quest.

The more knowledgeable a person is, the more their questions stifle.  Even if the answer is more simple.

The spatial reasoning brain naturally multiplies its seed.
Its negation divides.
The number reasoning brain naturally adds its seed.
Its negation subtracts.

These two sets have become distinct for clarity.

My understanding is three chapters behind in my hind brain, and three chapters ahead in my forebrain.
So much for linear thinking.

The fog of math is boggling.
Like zero multiplication
or zero addition
if next to another element.
On the one hand, duh, multiplication.
But I'm made to ask:
what are the implications of addition.
The fog always, always castes the fundamental and more basic aside.

What is math?
Or, what is understanding math?
It is a process of working with establishing information, which is much like finding the keys of a piano when blind.
Once the key is played, I remember, however faintly, the steps I needed to find the key.
When there are many ways this key is found, it becomes trivial like learning to ride a bicycle or learning to walk.
Thus, math understanding truly is a way of making truth less meaningful, almost insignificant.
Thus, a branch of knowledge loses its glory, its child-like wonder.
How few of us ride a bicycle  today out of fascination for the ride?
Yet, just as BMX stars compete globally, so too must a creative mind find tools which will allow me to create.
Is math doomed to fate, or will I resurrect it in creative destiny?

Math,
It's coldness of emotion,
With only a quaint smile,
And affection for knowing.
It does not solace a hurt heart.
She was so welcoming and wholesome before she began meditating.
Now she is on point and holds to the top of the mountain.
What is left of your heart of loving humiliation?
A traveler, a knower,
Quaint smile.
Yes, this feels just like divorce.
A woman engulfed in the path to perfection.
I guess that's how I make women feel.
To concentrate on math,
With people seeming like drudgery.

I dreamed I was a year younger last night and sat with a group of mathematicians.
The focus was on math.

How sullen I am that she has taken up knowledge.

My math proofs are just as circular as my belief in God.

It seems no real studying gets done unless I solve a millennium prize.

Math is common sense spatial reasoning put into a shifting and reshifting of the "five":
Commutative
Distributive
Identity
Inverse
Associative laws.
Sands of time gets sandier.

Some lights don't come on until a few more knobs are twisted.

Punch, kick calculus
Continuous like planets
Discontinuous

The road to expertise first means that only one concept must be right to prove a solution.
Like leading a child on its way.

What the Bab said there are endless insights in every book, he also meant math books.
Seeing the layers is knowing the infinite.