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352 · Jul 2017
Childish infatuation
Josh Jul 2017
It is with heavy heart that I should wish such passion gone
To have my heart see that she is not the one
I know that how I feel, is but a bright burning candle
Soon to burn out
And well that it should too
For my mind is all afire with the ecstatic pain of you
I wax poetical because I cannot speak a simple truth
I know and am painfully aware
That the knowledge of such passions on my part
Would drive you from my company
And remove me from your good graces and graceful heart
340 · Jul 2017
Concert
Josh Jul 2017
A madness of touch
Skin, on skin
Lips, on every inch of you
Devouring you
Looking at you
Awe, undisguised
No mask or falsehood, I wear
In all my fumbling uncertainty
I am led, by my own passion
The heat of you beneath me
The taste of you on my tongue
I want to press closer
Make up for all the time before
This moment, every moment
My skin and yours were not
In contact, concert
Our movements, a dance
Our mingled moans, a song
It feels like we're birds
Denied to sing, until this moment
And I never want our little, finite
Infinity, to end
338 · Jul 2017
Onwards
Josh Jul 2017
I love her, she not me
This much, I accept
But now, how?
How can I move on
Almost a decade
Through every failed love
I've been okay
Because I never gave my all
Because some of me was hers
Eight years of hope
Dashed, in a moment
What to do?
How, to move
To move on
From you
335 · Jul 2017
Untitled prose
Josh Jul 2017
No one ever asks, if I tell them i write, why? I suppose it's an answer intertwined with why my idols and inspiration are the romantic poets, and Oscar Wilde. It is because I love the poetic ideals, the idea, the oil painting life captured in pieces such as Wordsworth's "daffodils" or Byron's "she walks in beauty". I desire the poetic love, that unattainable, perfect, still moment. I love the Romantic response to their world, in a time of endless discovery of new things far off, the Romantics discovered new things in and around themselves. The poetry in the green fields, exploration of human expression and sexuality. I write, because I wish to both create and experience these perfect, still life, oil painting moments. And, to, in a time where everything is a click away, bring new discovery and a sense of wonder. I want to be surrounded by the fruits of boundless creativity. In a world of sleek, monochromatic, identical, functionality, I want to be surrounded by messy colours on canvas, by people with souls in all hues, barely contained by their bodies, with paint in their hair, ink on their hands, and adventure in their very essence. That, that is why I write.
334 · Jul 2017
Fears
Josh Jul 2017
There are two great, human fears
Nothing, and everything
We fear that we are, alone
But for the void, that nothing matters
Or we fear we are not alone
Are not the superior
No man can unconcerned, contemplate infinity
Just as no man can calmy think
That all is finite or does not really exist
Everything terrifies us
As does nothing
323 · Jul 2017
Afire
Josh Jul 2017
My mind
Afire
My soul
Afire
Every part of me
Filled with desire
For every part of you
320 · Apr 2018
Atlas shrugged
Josh Apr 2018
If this, that I am feeling
Is but a fraction
Of the weight
Of the world
Then, no wonder
Atlas shrugged
First piece in a while. I intend to try and get back into writing again.
317 · Jul 2017
Peace, beloved friend
Josh Jul 2017
And so friend farewell to you
You will be missed, dear friend adieu
In the earth your body shall lie
We commend your soul to the gods on high
And weep for the loss of a promising life
Oh how the earth and heaven shall cry
Oh friend, oh friend I do lament
All our time unwisely spent
All our woes and all our folly
Though some of our time was surely jolly
You whom I loved
Beloved friend, my hearts kin
You are gone now and free from sin
And so with angels rest your soul
Never to fear growing old
Oh I weep I weep
I cry and cry
Men must be strong, that is a lie
How can I friend, I beg you tell
When you, my support, toppling, fell
And I have fallen lowly now
Mourning one who is gone down
Unto the earth
Oh she is blessed, to have you, in her *****, rest
Whether friend, foe, brother or lover
All at times, and none at others
Surely none could ever so well
Be as you were, your perfect self
Another one from my book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
313 · Jul 2017
Mowing day
Josh Jul 2017
I saw the long green grass, mown down
It fell, lifeless and dead
And I wished, how I wished
I were the grass, instead
The grass has never, hurt a man
Or made a person cry
I have done both these things, and more
It is I who should die
310 · Jul 2017
Need
Josh Jul 2017
I am in need
I am in need, of a heartbeat
Of flesh to touch
Lips to kiss
The fire of a life
To feel like
I plunge my head
Into the lake of eternity
And grasp, for each
Falling leaf, of maybe
And could have been
I will run, and seek
But not, find purpose
Because, in my heart
I know, that our time
Is worthless
But still, I will
Pick fruits of this
The universe
And swim in cosmic streams
As I trip, and fall, down
Stairs, of unknown depth
A sea, of staring faces

Watching, with an eagerness
My folly, my descent
I get up, and wander
Through the known
Unknown, and absurd
This place, this state
Abstract, and lone
This is the closest
I am come
To church, or faith
For whom, having seen
Even a piece, of this
Cosmic finite
Void, this insanity
Could put his trust
In anything beyond
The end, a void
Only a fool
And I am a fool
But not one
So disillusioned
309 · Jul 2017
Raindrops
Josh Jul 2017
The raindrops touch, my skin
And then are gone, absorbed
To be dead
Until I sweat, or ****
Or weep bitter tears
I wonder, what they witnessed
Created in high, tumultuous clouds
To fall, to fall amidst
Lightning and thunder
To experience such
Only to die, mere feet
From the earth
Because of one, such as I
307 · Jul 2017
Ode to university
Josh Jul 2017
I have always wanted, to go
To university
Since, I was eleven
And fresh faced with possibility
I need to learn, to know
So there is no other place
For me
I have clung to this
When I have had, nothing
I will not give up
On university
304 · Jul 2017
Wings
Josh Jul 2017
I tore off my wings
When I fell, for you
And to this day
I do not envy birds
302 · Jul 2017
Modern romance
Josh Jul 2017
A cigarette with a stranger
A just missed bus
The wrong number texted
A Facebook comment thread
This is modern romance
Who said romance is dead?
295 · Jul 2017
No Eldorado
Josh Jul 2017
Bare, the green
Empty of people
Of life
But for one lone wanderer
People in the park
Fifty feet away
Do they wonder
Or believe they know
Why they're here
Or where they go
In the distance, I can see
A church steeple
That fountain of lies
They claim to know
The how's and why's
Of our existence
Of our strife
It is but an ******
To dull existential ache
To those who are not fooled
It has a bitter taste
Still, the grass is vacant
My hands, they shake
I used to stand up in high places
And fancy, I could see
The whole world, see everything
Stretching out in front of me
I am older now, and not so misty eyed
I see but a placeholder
A thing waiting to die
The tiny ant does not worry
Or count it's passing days
I think that our intelligence, has harmed us in some ways
We know too little, think too much
Try to mark the nothingness
To scratch, to scar
The endless void
We claw, and clutch
At meaning, purpose
These frail, ghostly things
Spectre of a ghost
Shadow of a shadow
These things, they die with us
There is no Eldorado
This is all I know
294 · Jul 2017
To ________
Josh Jul 2017
Your eyes could kindle ash to fire
Your touch revive a dying flower
Your smile is like the sun at noon
I cling to the very essence of you
I long for you like a wolf for the moon
Oh creature of heaven that you are, take me soon

Words are my stock and trade
Yet I have none when with you I am faced
I am not a hunter I have no thrill in chase
I am but a cat gazing upon you a queen
You, whom are perfect and must be a dream
Oh can you truly be, all that you seem

Angels weep as you pass by
God gave up creating
After seeing the glimmer in your eye
Israfel dedicates songs to you
Though he knows he is not your equal
Sings of you wildly well, from his lyre in the sky

On the mortal earth below
Mortals too seek to bestow
Upon you, tokens of their love
In spite of jealous god above
You are the person
Whom all love

When you walk, you draw all eyes
Birds fall down from the skies
Or hungry cats miss their mice
Fixed upon you, are their eyes
And upon the sight of you
Newborn babies cease to cry

I think that you shall live always
For with you, life
Wishes not to part ways
You could tame the sky or sea
For even nature's beauty
Cannot compete with thee

Forgive me, I have praised
Only your appearance
Though your soul, is thrice as lovely
Your voice, a gift to all who hear it
And your anger, although rare
I would doubtless fear it

And of course, in others
You provoke a host of feelings
Ecstasy and joy
Why to explain
Would simply be
Blaspheming

And so my dear
We are here
The end of my verse
I wish you well
And pray do tell
You liked what you read here
Another one from my self published book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
294 · Jul 2017
No words
Josh Jul 2017
I have, no words
I may not feel truly alive
But medically, I live
My uncle, he does not
He is gone, and so
I, have no words
There are none
For he is gone
What can I say?
Naught, but wish him
On his way
My great uncle died last night. I miss him.
289 · Jul 2017
Wash away
Josh Jul 2017
I am lost, in reverie
Staring out, at an
Empty town square
Thinking, of the sea
The crashing waves
They could fall here
And wash, little, away
There is little, to be missed
Little, to bar the way
283 · Jul 2017
Break, break
Josh Jul 2017
Break, break
My walls
They fall
I will cease to hide
So that I may heal
She, is here
All will be well
281 · Jul 2017
Leaves
Josh Jul 2017
The grass is wet
Drops of rain, clinging
To each lolling blade
Like minute universes
Trees, all purple, like a swollen bruise
Or overripe fruit
Bit into, to cascade juices down
The chin of one, who sups upon
The pulpy flesh
And drinks, the juice of life
I fade, and flicker
Far away, and held fast
By that simple majesty
I see in nature
In this wet grass
I see, time's endless passage
Emerald green, vibrant grass
Here, and there, is scattered
All about, with leaves
Withered, brown, old
Marking time's voyage onward
Ravaged, by the passing moments
They do not even blow
Or flutter in the wind
As they did when they
Were green, on summer day
But rest, or are all dead
And will not stir
For what might stir now
The old and decayed
No touch of green upon them
Nay, they will not stir
265 · Jul 2017
Sometimes, I feel
Josh Jul 2017
Mostly, I am numb
Sometimes I feel
I feel fire, tearing my chest
Or rivers, cascading down my cheeks
I feel that I am, a ghost already
I feel insubstantial
As I breathe, because I must
I pretend, fake, living
In fact I simply move
I follow the actions
The processes, to survive
I, am numb
Sometimes, I feel
262 · Jul 2017
Tangent
Josh Jul 2017
You might have passed me
Sitting, on a bench
Maybe with a stranger, smoking a cigarette
Or writing, maybe reading a book
I question, did you wonder?
Who I am, or maybe you thought I had a distinctive feature
For a brief moment, I existed, in the periphery of your own, and you in mine
A meeting, however brief, of our existences
262 · Jul 2017
Humanity
Josh Jul 2017
The jukebox plays an oldie
Everyone is drunk
But they all know the words
If they don't know his name
This, is fame
A memory, one day lost
Think of Alexandria
Now nothing
Once so great
Or deities lost to history
That is the path we all take
We are born, we exist
Maybe even live
We die, and are forgotten
There is no hereafter
No pearly gates
No endless fire
Birth, existence
Then we expire
This is humanity
259 · Jul 2017
Tomb
Josh Jul 2017
I would take, a damaged love
Over this endless solitude
A passion, it burns to touch
Rather than a silent room
I would take, and would return
With a fierceness
With fire's burn
A violent delight
Like Shakespeare's fire and powder
Which as they kiss, consume
Rather than my comfortable, silent
Tomb
249 · Jul 2017
Helen
Josh Jul 2017
My Helen
My best friend
I would give the world
Would you but love me
248 · Jul 2017
I told a girl
Josh Jul 2017
I told a girl, I loved her, once
And have since I was ten
For though life has no meaning
It does not mean there should be no knowing
Indeed, I would never wish ignorance upon anyone
She knew, she said, it was no real secret
A flurry of messages, confession, acceptance
Maybe even an inkling of understanding
And then, my shame
It doesn't matter
That small exchange
Of letters, and periods and pauses
Will be forgotten when we die
242 · Jul 2017
Moving
Josh Jul 2017
Strangers at the bus stop
Always moving, a microcosm
Life in miniature
All convinced they need to get somewhere
When it doesn't really matter
They wait, impatiently
And i wait with them
But when my bus comes
I do not wish away the journey
I know that the destination, and time
Are unimportant
Yet, I hope
Someone might speak to me
Fill, however briefly
This silent time existing
With a flicker, of humanity
We will see
233 · Jul 2017
Stumbling
Josh Jul 2017
I was stumbling
Suddenly, a light
I saw you
And for the first time
In an eternity
I thought
I might just be alright
232 · Jul 2017
Park shelter
Josh Jul 2017
Sitting alone on the woodchips
Steel and planks
Shelter from the rain, receiving no thanks
A roofed box
Where lovers kissed
The lonely reminisced
Promises made
Years wished away
Shelter from the rain
Marks and names
Of love and hate
Inscribed on walls
Hearts and initials
Disfigured by the same individuals
Who professed love under its roof
If it could talk, it would speak such truths
Hearts broken in summer haze
Shelter, of sorrow
Solace at night to the solemn
A meeting place
Once unused, but for trysts and trifles
Now that the sun returns so does the warmth
That little park shelter
No longer filled with the sadness of those who dwelt there last
And now it is filled with child's
Another one from my book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
224 · Jul 2017
Beginning
Josh Jul 2017
And so it begins
A change of scene
The doctor offered pills
But suggested therapy
Thinking, as I hope
I can become a better me
I have paperwork
And advice, for now
I'll get a counsellor
Spill my guts out
Cut out the bad parts
Mental surgery
If that doesn't work
Then I will take the pills
To keep me functioning
I will exist, until I start to live
223 · Jul 2017
Fluidity
Josh Jul 2017
I exist
What am I?
I am conditional
I change
By company
By environment
Communication
Day, always
I change
I am everything
I might be something
I am nothing
I might not be
Humanity
215 · Jul 2017
Babbling brook
Josh Jul 2017
Oh little trickle, babbling brook
On your quest, to meet the sea
You pass through a little town
And passing through, do pass by me
Your minute falls, your rippling
The chatter of your endless flow
How sweet it is to hear it, sweeter even to know
Your noble quest, destination
Where you go and where you are from
See the rain make ripples on your ever moving surface
Increasing your magnitude
Indeed, it is a sweet service
See you pass around and over
All your obstacles
You are the calm before the storm
Soft ripples and gurgling
Like slowly marching soldiers
To reinforce and strengthen, those waves you go to meet
And crash harder upon the besieged shore
You soldiers of the endless sea
212 · Jul 2017
Stargazing
Josh Jul 2017
Stargazing is a strange act
Or wishing upon those self same things
They aren't even corpses, they are shadows
Shadows of ghosts of long dead giants
But we ****** upon them
Our wishes, our hopes
This hillside is damp
With late summer dew
But I don't move
As I feel it soak my shirt
Maybe this is part of the experience
I do not know, I do not pin my hopes
On long dead, once burning gases
So I lay, and look, not really seeing
Unsure, uncertain of my role
179 · Jul 2017
Stillness
Josh Jul 2017
I live in, a quiet house
Arguments are quiet
Everything subdued
As if a blanket has settled
A weariness, almost
They will not, who knows why
It is like, not building a fire
Because the wood won't last forever
Pointless
I need a shout
Life, shrug off this stillness
Be rid of this lethargy
I would shoot myself
Or someone else
To have, to feel
Even to see
Feeling, an argument above a whisper
Somebody light me on fire

— The End —