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1.8k · Jul 2017
I am giving up
Josh Jul 2017
I am giving up
I will not get up tomorrow
Until, I have to go
To work
I will not eat breakfast
I will simply, go
I will not come home
When I finish
I will go, and sit
I will read, and write
Until I am told
I will not speak
Until I am asked
I will not eat
Unless I am ordered
I will go, to my room
I will not try
I will not bother
I am giving up
Josh Jul 2017
I consider myself fortunate, that I discovered absurdism at eighteen. It seems to me, one of those things, discovered in old age when you wish then, you could go back and do all differently. I don't have that, I am free to live the absurd life, maybe I will feel I should have lived otherwise, when I am old. But absurdism makes sense, for right now. I've tried religion, I was scapegoating, putting my problems onto a deity rather than taking responsibility. I suppose, I must live. And we will see.
1.3k · Jul 2017
Absurdist ramblings
Josh Jul 2017
Camus asked, his question
A cup of coffee
Or death?
Because life has no meaning
So the absurdists said
These actions are equal
They mean as much as you decide
So why choose death
I guess its saying
It's no more or less
Than life

So every day
When I wake
If I'm feeling, like i normally do
I have a cup of coffee
Because coffee burns
It is bitter
Truthfully though
It's over quicker
Than a noose
And why
Should I
Die?

When the universe
Will not
Cry
For me
Another insignificant
Human life
To fork no lightning
And to vainly
Oh so vainly
Rage, as Thomas said
Against the dying of the light

So instead
I strive
To be free of my darkness
And to live free
Live a life so meaningless
Yet filled with beauty
This I will do.
Absurdist ramblings
867 · Jul 2017
I am
Josh Jul 2017
I am a philosopher
Of folly
An astronomer
Of stars I dream
Into the sky
A painter, in the colours
Of existence
I am a dreamer
Dreaming into the void
I am human
696 · Jul 2017
O, England O, Britain
Josh Jul 2017
See them rising now, oh England
Heroes of our causes, past and now
Rising, as one, to defend
This beloved democracy of ours
See Britons of all colour, creed, and race
United under one banner, if not one face
To fight the injustice and tyranny
Both perpetuated by, and visited upon, you, and me
Are we not a nation of all values?
United, as a kingdom, in that we are free
Not all the same, how boring it would be
And where in freedom and democracy, is it stated we accept bigotry?
No racism, or slander, shall we have, not in our fair Britain, are you mad?
We are built of all peoples, from all places
A varied hand, to win the long game, is surely better than all early aces
We claimed we wanted freedom, separation
Proclaimed it "the people's liberation"
Yet how can we be trusted? I ask, when we cannot complete one simple task
To love all others no matter their skin
Nor creed, or where their story did begin
Think sadly of the many who are dead
Because we cannot get it into our head
That people, no matter their race, or religion, are certainly, not, better off dead
Young, impetuous souls, raised, often, with the prejudice of old
Do commit a new atrocity, because they cling to age old tyranny
We cannot accept those, other, than ourselves
We cannot learn, are we stone?
Oh no, but stubborn *****, to the bone
But stubbornness is no excuse for hate, if you cannot go with progress, and tolerance
Simply, move out of the way
For ****'s sake, we can barely cope
When someone wears the wrong style of coat
Without offering jibes or mockery
Oh what pitiful wretches, are we?
We, who disdain our own species and kin
All for what? Their language? Their love? The colour of their skin?
I cannot bear the thought, of such regression
To times of such barbarism and repression
Look now, oh, England, to our ranks of rising warriors, see how they are all different?
They are all, unique, to be sure
Yet are united, in a common cause
To rid the country that we love so dear
Of all the bigotry and tyranny and fear
That makes living, so hard, for so many
I ask, racists, bigots, what's the point?
Is there truly any?
Allow a rational person to answer, on your stead, and likely hit the nail on the head
The answer is no, there is not any
But cruelty and evil, I weep for man
For we are supposed to be enlightened, and so much more
Yet we seem not such, for even the worms, or the birds that prey upon them, do not hate, and **** for their uniqueness
So are we truly worthy to say we are, the greatest race on earth?
When we cannot put decency first
Over hatred of those different
Our own base evilness is an affront
To the DNA that grew to be, or so it thought a more evolved form, Is it truly we?
For it seems to me, that we are only truly advanced, in physiology
Our minds seem too small to comprehend, that in our universe, almost without end, there may be, many, vastly, different from we
Look again, oh England, to our heroes rising up, black, white, Latino, Greek, they are no different to you, or me
All came to seek, or were born, free
Their lives taken by human cruelty
I say, nay, I call, I do implore you to open up your door, see the world around you now, and help, not hinder, do you ask how?
Simply, be decent, lend a hand, accept, not, casual bigotry, take a stand
Be a shield, for those who need you
At the core I'm asking you to be human, give a ****
If you see harassment, don't walk by, help your fellow human, justice outcry
If you think rationally, you will see
I do surely ask no more than can be
Expected of any of humanity, fight so that all others may be free
I ask, specifically, the opponents of such, camaraderie, racists, bigots, whomever you may be, why do you protest equality?
Do you think, the colour of your skin, gives you some pedigree? Or immunity to sin?
Do you feel you are more deserving of the world than those who are different? Do you suppose you are superior? You ****** fools
Can you not use humanity's most basic tools?
Love, compassion, these things are given to share, not hoard, you unkind few, fear, for no good reason, those different than you
So, I suppose I'm asking you to say, why you feel the need to be this way, but don't tell me
Admit it to yourself, in stark daylight
And see if it holds the same weight and conviction as it does in dark midnight
When shadows hide your own deep prejudice, your weakness, tell me, what is this?
But a call to wake up and accept the truth, that you are the playground bully of your youth
You bully and hurt someone for who they are, how can we say, humanity has come so far?
If you are as much a racist as someone from centuries back
You cannot accept that we, are moving on
Sad, little, inconsequential, close minded man
Or woman, sadly racism does span, and spread, even to those who were, and are still themselves oppressed, racism is not born, it is deeply, an
and hatefully, bred
To hate our kin, although we all bleed red
Lo, since our fateful vote, I have seen too many, too many, jump aboard the boat
And lay the blame for all our country's woes, upon our, oft, ill chosen foes
We lay the bitter fruit of our own follies, at the feet of those, we already mistreat
And expect, that they will sup on bitter unjust fruit, and thank us as they choke on the juice
The fruit of our evil labours against, progress, and those people we expect to, now why do I say we when I mean you?
These people that you, expect to, sup, and be thankful for what you give, will not, nor should they, for they desire to not just exist, but live
We'll I've likely earned the hatred of racists, truly, I wish, I could say, this upsets me
But I care not, for I know, when, lo, England's heroes rise up, they shall go, and sweep forth, with such a might, and justice, such as all racists, shall be left down in the dust
I do believe that I am done, I bid farewell to everyone
And I hope you do remember, treat as you would be treated, one another, for at our core,  We are sister and brother.
A poem written because I can't stand racism and prejudice.
690 · Jul 2017
I will
Josh Jul 2017
Since, it seems
I have to live
Because I made a promise
I will learn, to swim
I will ride a bike
And play piano
I will do, all the things
I thought, or hoped
I'd never have time to do
645 · Jul 2017
Questions
Josh Jul 2017
Another glass of whisky, and I'm staring at the door
Asking myself questions, I've never asked before
Because now, I know, that it's okay
To talk about what's in my head
Now I know its normal
To sometimes wish I were dead
I'm writing like I'm running
Out of time, or away
Often, I'm doing both, on any given day
I've pledged to live a life of pleasure
Perhaps I'm out of touch with reality
Maybe, I'm just accepting, my own grim, mortality
I thought that I was golden
I thought the sun was out
Maybe it's just mood swings
Or a mood merry go round
630 · Jul 2017
Wanderlust
Josh Jul 2017
I am not enjoying, my youth
It seems, I crave to age
I experience, not, nor know not of
The joys that come with my, youthful freedom
And yet, I think, there is one thing, to tell
To join me in mutual bond, with others of my years
A wanderlust, so born of youth, uncertainty, and, curiosity
Oh, how I would wander, but not, oddly enough, to see the world, not to take photos
For Facebook and likes
But because I need to keep moving
I don't care where I'm going
Just as long as it's new
And there's no one to drag me back home
I want a weekend of coffee, poetry with strangers, who know only my, work, not my name
I want a sojourn to Bohemia, to get lost among artists, how sublime, would be, a world apart from, this
Drunk, for a weekend, hyper, sleepless, as long as my pen fills a page
I have a need to wander
And I'll never grow fonder
Of this small, dying town of the grey
I'll write my work, and count the hours
Till I'm finally out of this place
Cos, my soul needs to wander
I don't need roads, no signs, I don't care where I'm going
If it's, a, change of scene, well then
There's never been, a more beautiful sight for my, eyes
Oh, the farther I wander, the more my heart grows fonder
Of a world that I've never, truly known
589 · Jul 2017
Adolescence
Josh Jul 2017
You are to come
As I did too
To that time
That shall frighten you
Your body will change
The world will seem strange
Your mind won't work the same from day to day

You will begin to notice things
That make no sense just yet
Feelings, you won't soon forget
Yet society tells you its wrong
You don't ask for fear of the answer
You are silent out of fear
Shaped by your fears
Fearing telling them, afraid of what you'll hear

Told, its just a phase, you'll be fine in time
Your heart, unlike your head
Isn't shaped by society but shapes itself instead
And as your heart leads
So follows your mind
And if you chase them
See what you may find

Society fills us with pointless noise
Girls are girls and boys are boys
Boys like girls, and nothing else
You are part of society there is no "self"
But they're lying, that's what they do
They use their words, to control me and you

But your love is your own, its natural
Who you are changes, it's not a disaster
You may be born, a clean slate
But its your choice who paints you
Are you going to be covered in words
Society's criteria of importance
Or will you be covered in art
Painted by life lived to the fullest

By lovers, friends
The start of relationships, and the ends
To make yourself a stand against society
A beautiful picture of anarchy
So please live free, live happily
Don't let society define you
Don't make the same mistake as me
From my self published book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
572 · Jul 2017
Remedy
Josh Jul 2017
I've half a bottle of cider
In my bedroom at home
I'll drink it, when I go back
I'll write some more
Then doubtless, switch it up, to ***
It tastes like ****
But it's a hit
And the closest I'll get to a gun
Twice as lethal, thrice as slow
It is my remedy
For all of those evil thoughts
And no one loving me
It seems, when I am drinking
My brain shuts the **** up
It lets me write
It lets me dream
And I've not thrown my guts up
557 · Jul 2017
Recovering
Josh Jul 2017
I have a phone call tomorrow
To talk about my depression
They'll ask me questions
With clinical precision
While I'm just trying
Not to throw my phone
I'll do my best
But its terrifying
It'll be one less hour of silence
Sixty minutes closer to the void
I'm hoping, like ****, they can
Fix me up
I want to start living again
543 · Jul 2017
When, I am dead
Josh Jul 2017
When I am dead, reclaim me
When I am dead, our earth
Though it will be mine, no more
Will reclaim me
It will have my body
Like hyenas, upon my empty carcass
Or crows, on battle fields
I shall cease to be
My body will be of the earth
Because in these, once, the vessels of our opinion and our prejudice
Are things, that allow
For one more day
One infinitesimal second
They allow, the earth, to limp on
Existing, decaying
For one day longer
540 · Jul 2017
You are not a diamond
Josh Jul 2017
You are not a diamond
Not something to be locked in a case
Stared at
You are not a diamond
You are a rock, you are stability
You are bricks and mortar
I would build a home with you
You are not a diamond, hard and cold
You are breakfast in the morning
Kisses before falling asleep
You are not a diamond
Not some shiny stone
You do not reflect light
You emit it, you are the sun with a smile
A star that laughs
You are not a diamond
From my self published book "ivory and gold" available on Amazon.
539 · Jul 2017
Longing
Josh Jul 2017
I am desperate
For a change
An excitement
Anything new
If I could drive
I would go
Take all my money
Leave home
Driving for days
Sleep in my car
Or cheap hotels
Somewhere far, away
I would destroy myself
For my own freedom
I would crumble
With each step
As long as it takes me
Away
531 · Jul 2017
I put my arm around you
Josh Jul 2017
We sat on your bed
My arm around you
Other hand resting, on your leg
I laughed, and when
I looked at you
I smiled
You may wonder
Why?
Why I put my arm around you
Or smiled so
You may wonder
Though, you know
I am in love with you
It is because, I know
That we, will never be
And soon, you will leave
I am trying, desperately
For something, to hold on to
Something more, than memory, of you
So I put my arm around you
512 · Jul 2017
My ingress
Josh Jul 2017
I came, or was ******
Into the world
A half formed thing
I have limped through life
The waters of the universe
Slip through my fingers
I cannot cup my left hand
To catch the falling stars
Nor have I, all my brain
With which to comprehend
The nothing, that is our existence
I have existed, set back
Striving, for chances
To be, the same
I have thrown away
Gold gilt books, of wisdom
And sweet fruits of life
To follow others, to rot
And ruination, to be in company
To feel normal, and be not alone
504 · Jul 2017
63%
Josh Jul 2017
63%
Another night, and I'm drinking
It's the medicine I take
To dull this existential ache
It's only 63% proof
So not 100% effective
But its that or the alternative
So I'll accept it
Half a bottle down
It still hurts to exist
Maybe it always will
I'll stay medicated
Till I live, or die
484 · Jul 2017
Made and unchanged
Josh Jul 2017
You are made of ivory and gold
Your lips could rewrite history
From but a brief touch
You have rewritten me
Yet you remain unchanged
Porcelain, china, marble or gold
You are timeless beauty
Never to know the ages ruin
Or the terror of slowly growing old
Your hands will not wither
Nor your eyes and dreams fade
You will remain as you did
On the day you were truly made
Nigh on twenty you were made
Not born, but made, to you
And since then, to the world you have not changed
Though inside I do not know if this is true
None can penetrate your façade
Your mask of beauty and charm
You will not relinquish your weapon of a silver tongue
As though you fear the whole world means you harm
You do not know how easy you pass
With wit and boyish charm
Against all obstacles you need only smile
And all your enemies are disarmed
Another one from my self published book "ivory and gold " available on Amazon.
468 · Jul 2017
Run away
Josh Jul 2017
I want, to run away
Come take me
We'll live
On kisses, and cigarettes, and gin
On Jack and coke
And the heat of one another
We'll wear down our soles
And build up our souls
We'll drive all through the night
To make love at sunrise
And I will dismiss
All the books and the songs
That taught me to love
They got it all wrong
I'll see you're not perfect
You'll see all my flaws
But we'll work it all out
Love each other more

So I'll get the train
To wherever you're at
And we'll start our journey
We'll never look back
It won't be easy
It might even hurt
But it's worth it i swear
We can own the world
Leave our bootprint
And a memory too
On all of the places
I'll now share with you
When we get old
We'll look back with a laugh
Life offered a sip
Darling, we drained the **** glass
So let's get started, I'm on my way
And we'll only look back, when we're far away
460 · Jul 2017
Trending
Josh Jul 2017
Trending
Is like a funeral
A final hurrah
Born, obscure
Existence
Then, a final blaze
The congregation
Over a corpse
To wish well
And eat free food
Or in this case
To be read
By strangers, but once
And then again
Fade into obscurity
458 · Jul 2017
I am contained
Josh Jul 2017
I often stare off, into space
Like I'm thinking, intensely
But I'm just musing
On the concept
Of, me
The genetic flaws
Chromosomes
That make my body
My home
This vessel
To contain, my essence
The childhood impressions
That shaped
And changed, my essence
Into what, it is today
And I think
Of containment
I am an essence
Thus contained
Inside this body of mine
And this body, is contained
In these four walls
Most of all, I am
Contained, held, constrained
By my lack of belief
In my own infinity
457 · Jul 2017
A dream of dreaming
Josh Jul 2017
I am floating, drowning
In a *** dream
Words float, about me
Out of reach, as I am out of touch
Here and there, a wanderer
But I do not call to them
I see them, they try
To mend nets, to close the holes
Retain some of the cosmos
That slip through
I hear their low, anguished moans
Moving through, a dream of dreaming
Clocks, melting into a pool of abstract
As time itself ceases to believe
I wake, clocks are solid
The universe is not running
Reality reigns again
444 · Jul 2017
Untitled
Josh Jul 2017
You're like smoke.
You take my breath away
You numb the ache
But i can't hold you
I don't want to let you go
But I'm not holding on
If you'd rather be gone
Like smoke on a midnight breeze
Darling, won't you stay?
Ramblings because I am a ****
435 · Aug 2017
I love you (but)
Josh Aug 2017
I love you
Happy words
Unless, they preced
The dreaded, but
Or feared, however
Both can shatter a heart
And I'm sorry.
Because
I love you, but
There it is
The rest of what I have to say
Is white noise
As your mind processes
That word
But
Still, I will continue
I love you, but I cannot
I cannot do this on my own
I cannot keep hoping for a word from you
Sit here wondering
Pondering
I am slowly accepting
You're here but not
So maybe
When you come back
If you do
I'll be here, but gone, too
Moving, or moved on
From you
Another mess
421 · Jul 2017
Coals
Josh Jul 2017
I would look even if it burns my eyes. Unlike the sun, you can grow brighter. You are smouldering coals. But darling, some day you'll be a blazing fire. And I've always wanted a funeral pyre.
419 · Jul 2017
Coffee shop illusions
Josh Jul 2017
I sip my coffee
I keep looking up
When you're looking away
Over the rim of my cup

I know, outside of here
We're strangers, you told me
But I guess, I just enjoy
My illusions

I know you're not important
Nothing really is
But I still think you're beautiful
That much, I gotta admit

I finish my coffee
I'm leaving, sneaking one last look your way
I guess I'm done hurting myself for now
I'll see you, some, other day
395 · Aug 2017
Sweetness
Josh Aug 2017
It's in cloudy lemonade
In a cheap candy cane
In the kiss of a lover
Or an early morning smile
In a goodbye kiss
It's in the pouring rain
And pounding hearts
Gasping , grabbing greedy breaths
In long drives
Songs sung
Out of time to the radio
In time with each other
In simple things
Pizza and long talks
A bottle of some thing cheap
Kisses that taste wine-sweet
And the places you meet
Life, itself
Made sweet
Just random. Not happy with it but oh well.
386 · Jul 2017
Atrophy
Josh Jul 2017
Coffee cups and ink stained hands
Half finished thoughts, part written papers
Aching, craving, sentiment
A purple book, so innocent
Chronicling an atrophy
Of soul
383 · Jul 2017
Stranger/hurricane
Josh Jul 2017
My life, my existence
Has become
Cigarettes, ***, indigo ink
Wishing, to make it
Through the day
And wishing I had
The guts to die
I hope, secretly
For a stranger
A human shaped hurricane
Someone new
Who doesn't know my history
Someone to set me free
My perfect, imperfect
Stranger
Wherever can you be?
381 · Jul 2017
Youth
Josh Jul 2017
My skin looks old, i feel it in my bones
I am growing weary, can you hear me
Can you give my eyes the gleam, can you help me sleep and dream
Can you bring back smiles, memories playing over to laughter
Instead of remembering every self inflicted disaster
My mind grows weary of constant fights, i just want to sleep at night
I've seen, too many times, the sun dancing with the moon at midnight
The way the moon glances at the night, gets me every time
Even the dark has someone, like the day has the sun
When i ask where is mine they say, your life has just begun
But if this is youth where is the fun, has it gone already
Is it time to grow up, has summer flown by
I am soon to the grave
366 · Jul 2017
And yet, I do
Josh Jul 2017
They gather, to hear musicians play
A few small groups litter the grass
They are like the music
Or the summer sun
They are fleeting
They exist, but for a time
They may even live
But they too shall pass
Into nothing
Should I envy them?
Their joy, however fleeting
Perhaps not
And yet, I do
365 · Jul 2017
Another
Josh Jul 2017
Another 20p in the jukebox
Another has-been song
The bar is full of people
Each one moving along
They exist, satisfied
In their own small bubble
Each person is alone
This is what we call a life
This is all we've ever known
365 · Jul 2017
Bus stop
Josh Jul 2017
Here I sit, this bus stop
This inbetween
A liminal space
Possibility, all that we are
Can be described in these places
Uncertain, possible
The promise of going
But no set destination
I hear two strangers
Talking about relationships
The desire to be with someone
Clutching, scrabbling for something
Anything, this is human
355 · Jul 2017
My boots
Josh Jul 2017
I love, my boots
They are my freedom
Jet black, fit like a glove
Bulletproof
I like their security
Knowing, any day
I can put them on
And go
If I walked, till they wore out
I'd be worlds away from here
In my boots, I could
Kick all my bullies, to the floor
And walk away, comfortably
Freedom
Security
Independence
Yes, I love my boots
355 · Jul 2017
A chance
Josh Jul 2017
I am a chance
Standing on the back of great improbability
Formed by sheer coincidence
And the random vastness of the universe
Yet I am supposed to
Believe?
In meaning, purpose, no
How may I?
My very essence
What mystics call a soul
Is but the product
Of a million, random
Bizzare happenings
That impressed themselves
Forcefully upon my psyche
How then, if this, is 'life'
May I believe
In meaning, or purpose
How, I wonder
354 · Jul 2017
A requiem
Josh Jul 2017
The bells ring out, their sonorous toll
To speed, upon its way, your soul
Your life, too short, yet full of plenty
Dear are you, in our memory
Always working, striving for more
With a humour, we did adore
You, do not, deserve this strife
And yet, look back upon your life
Much laughter, now, too, tears
I, and others, for your life, smile
Now, for your death, we cry
And yet, I fancy you would not
Wish tears, so I'll smile
And fondly, as the years pass
Think on our shared while
My great uncle, your mischievous smile
Your youthful abandon
I will miss you dearly
Now that you are gone
Here, for you, a requiem
To soothe your startled soul
Lift you up, to higher things
Not a six by twelve foot hole
Alas, it is goodbye now
In peace, great uncle, test
The once light eyes, are glassy now
The heart, still, in your breast
And now I can form no more words
Go, be at peace, out of this world
Rest in peace, and not mischief
To you, great uncle, farewell.
A piece for my great uncle. Who died yesterday. Rest in peace. You will be missed.
346 · Jul 2017
I exist and dream of living
Josh Jul 2017
I exist, and dream of living
Each morning, when I wake
I throw wide the curtains, hoping
That today is the day
But it is not
And so I rise
I put on my clothes
I prance, and preen, and peacock
But i am not a living thing.
Every day, I exist
At night, I dream of living
Can I not live, just for a moment?
But reality is not forgiving
So the play, continues
I hope, a secret, forlorn hope
That I may, one day
Change this verse
But hope is just another dream
Another bubble to be burst
So I will keep existing.
First submission. Most of my work will be along the lines of existential nihilism.
344 · Jul 2017
Heard from my garden
Josh Jul 2017
From my garden
On a Saturday night
I can hear, the shouts
Of the young, and free, and happy
Despite the rain, pouring, from our sky
They laugh, and shout, and cry
Happy, in being
Happy, in life
This, is why
I love
Humanity
344 · Jul 2017
My crime
Josh Jul 2017
Eight years, I have loved you
Since both we, were children
Not some fast burning flame
But the warmth of a coffee cup
Or an arm, around your shoulder
I never said a word
I dared hope, only in silence
A year ago, I kissed you
And like brittle clay, I broke
I told you of my feelings
And of my secret hope
You did not feel the same
But said you knew, for a long time
And yet I love you still
Shamefully, in secret
Like my love is a crime
342 · Jul 2017
Untitled
Josh Jul 2017
I used to disagree
With Frost
I believed that ice would be our end
But you have kindled me
Heap of ashes that i am
And now. I know
Because I feel desire
That my world will end
In fire
Because my world ends
With you.
340 · Jul 2017
Rest
Josh Jul 2017
This pain, this ache
Within my chest
It hurts me, I wish, I could rest
I would take, for any price
A moment's peace, a restful night
335 · Jul 2017
Render unto death
Josh Jul 2017
You're just like
My cigarette
Temporary
To help forget
That I am
A walking debt
A life that rightly
Belongs to death
And it may be
The reason why
I'm taking the fast route back
The smoke in my lungs
You on my mind
Both to shorten my stolen life
And "render unto caesar that which is caesar's"
332 · Jul 2017
Process
Josh Jul 2017
Four shots of ***
Then I write
Grandiose, I soliloquise
And my pen tracks across the page
Talking of being forgotten
As they themselves shall be
Then, my mind afire, and exhausted
I collapse, into the oblivion of sleep
This is but practice for death
I wake, and the process begins anew
327 · Jul 2017
Keeping pace
Josh Jul 2017
With every beat
My fingers keep
Pace, with my
Restless heart
For fear, of how
You'll react
Will you stutter and start?
For I have outpoured words
While tapping fingers
Keep their pace
With my restless heart
327 · Jul 2017
Duality
Josh Jul 2017
Human existence is a detritus of emotion and we seek to immortalise that. I see the beauty in scratching your name into a ruined castle. So something of you remains. Scars remain but kisses don't. I would write my name on big bens face to be the man who did.

Live each day knowing you may die. Drink, eat, spend. Enjoy life with the sole goal of pleasure. Go out like a firework. Whether you illuminate the world for others or catch them in the blaze it doesn't matter.
323 · Jul 2017
My first love
Josh Jul 2017
I love you
So I wrote this
Because I need
To move, swiftly on

You, my best friend
Will soon be gone
It will be so empty
You are, I feel, a part of me

And yet, too much
I love you
To feel bitter
That you go

Until then, I will
But hold you tighter
Drink in your smile
Make memories, with you

I shall miss you, dearly
My first love, my best friend
I will come visit, till then
Adieu
321 · Jul 2017
How long
Josh Jul 2017
In this empty space
Sitting on my bench
I am acutely aware
That I am alone
How long then
Since I felt
The fiery confusion, of fumbling kiss
Or many small ecstasies
Wrought by another's hand?
How long then since
In some shared space
With precious little between
Yet still we tried
To close any space
And in this, there was
Fire, and ice, calm, and excitement
How long then, since?
I cannot recall
318 · Jul 2017
Look up! Look up!
Josh Jul 2017
Look up! Look up!
From your phone screen
Or staring at your feet
Look up! Look up!
Claw!
Scratch!
Look up! Look up!
Break!
Destroy!
Look up! Look up!
Destroy, whatever it may be
That which keeps your head bowed
Look up! Look up!
318 · Jul 2017
Advice
Josh Jul 2017
Hook up culture
Cheap cider
He has a car
That's the decider
A year or less
Down the line
You're nine months along
He's doing time
But you tell yourself
We're doing fine
Now you're wishing
You'd finished school
Instead of smoking
And acting 'cool'
Read this, think on it well
You have, one life, one story
Make it one, you want to tell
316 · Jul 2017
Onwards
Josh Jul 2017
I love her, she not me
This much, I accept
But now, how?
How can I move on
Almost a decade
Through every failed love
I've been okay
Because I never gave my all
Because some of me was hers
Eight years of hope
Dashed, in a moment
What to do?
How, to move
To move on
From you
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