the secret to loving You
is knowing that I was loved
even before I took my first breath.

the secret to knowing You
is knowing that you Knew me
before my mother knew me.

the secret to spending eternity with You
is to walk with You in the present.

I crave that
magical
wanderlust
love that
you gave me
in a dream.

our lips
dancing
as we wave
between the sheets
of our desire.

drip
drop
tick
tock
****

this is wonderful
counting the beats
of our hearts’ palpitations
as we enter
the threshold of
pure ecstasy

our bodies
colliding into
one being.


my body
fine-dipped
like honey
on your lips.


then I woke up.
with the thought of you on my mind.

I
Was
Asked
To
Write
The
Saddest
Story
Ever
Written
So
This
Is
What I
Wrote:
My soul died without knowing Jesus.

all she wanted was a sign that
life had not forgotten her
But all she had were the shackles
of her demons resting on her
pillow as she slept.

don’t pretend you can’t feel my heart
pounding through my shirt.
don’t pretend like you don’t know that
I tremble every time you’re near me.

I pretend that you’re just a friend
but you’re the ecstasy that runs
through my veins.
and I can’t pretend that
I don’t love you.

You taught me to dance in the storm
even when I couldn’t feel sunshine approaching
and in the chaos of my heart,
You calmed the waves within.
and I kept dancing wildly with You beside me.

I painted my love for You on a page
each word unraveling
the beauty of Your character.
each letter carefully orchestrating the
promise You made.

You painted Your love for me on a cross
each nail revealing
the depths of Your love.
and I know You are for me.
Your promise redeemed me
even in my darkest hour.

Forever it will be
You and me.

Your lips are still your lips
And your eyes are still your eyes,
Burning with desire from the moment I passed
You on that dimly lit street in September.
All I could think was:
“I love you.”

my soul almost died today
but He pulled me back
and surrounded me with grace.
He called me his daughter
and for the first time,
I felt safe.
loved.
wanted.

Dear God,

please keep my head above water,
even when I feel like drowning,
I know your hands are guiding the waves.

I wonder what it would be like to die for ten minutes.
for ten minutes, to be at peace.
to be free from the chaos.
for ten minutes, I wonder what I would miss in life
wondering if anyone would even care if
I was gone.

for ten minutes.

let me be the sweet whisper to the madness in your mind.
let me undress your wounds and seal them
with my love.
let me be that star you confess your wishes to.
let me be the sunrise that wakes you up in the morning
and moonlight that lets you rest at night.  
let me love you.
with my heart.
my soul.
let me love YOU.

Heartbreak is the cruelest form of suicide.
If only you were here to hear the sound of my heart breaking.
Then maybe you’d stay just a little bit longer.

Let our love part the seas
So that we may walk on water
And into an eternal heaven
Where only our two souls shall dwell.

In a stranger’s bed, she finds warmth

Yet she still feels cold.

Her body a temple for the devil

To carve his initials.

Tear-stained pillows and ***-soaked sheets

Became the cornerstone of her identity.  

As the Devil continues his invade.

In a stranger’s bed, she finds acceptance,

Yet she still feels rejection.

Her mind a playground for the Devil’s adversaries

To take her heart.


Yet she cherishes those mornings

As if they were her last.

I loved you until it became a habit.
And like a cigarette,
I became addicted.

If I could rearrange the stars,
I’d put the moon in front of the sun
So I could witness your beauty from the darkness.

The infinity of our past pales in comparison to the infinity of our future.

Thank you for loving me at my worst.
I promise to give you my heart at my best.

The problem with playing wolf is
they’ll never believe you till it’s over.
Tired of hearing her own empty words and promises.
She turned off the lights.

The sun will always shine

Where the weeds have died.
And from that moment,

I knew our love was fragile.

Thorns.
You made.
Poked and prodded
You invaded my soul
As if I were a cesspool
of your worst nightmares.
And the sad thing is,
I let you.

Chase the sun.

Then watch it fall.
Water her ashes, but keep her dry.

Only then can she thrive.

A kaleidoscope of fleeting embers appears beneath the fireplace—
Burnt ashes permeating these hollow halls of winter.
Faded cards with Christmas carols mark the existence of another absolution
Where we invent ourselves from glass crystals and a nonsense
Fanatical of perfection.

Shards of rainbow-colored glass on the floor as we run barefoot among the stars.
Sparks of yellow and orange and blue and red and gold illuminate
The dreary existence of this lonely town.
As we search for new illusions to
Fill our drunken hearts.

Chestnut leaves fall onto the ground
As we countdown—
Five…
Four…
Three…
Two…
One…

Another year gone—
Another soul taken—
To cashmere sweaters and expensive screens.
What have we become?

They dwell in the shadows—
The darkness is all-consuming, reckless, obliterating
Everything in its path, wreaking havoc on her world
They surround her like a cloud of smoke, making it impossible
to breathe,
They thirst for control, they hunger for power—
They hunger for her beating heart, its rhythmic beat resonating into
Their dark, empty, lifeless souls.
They feed on her very existence: mind, body, and soul.
She struggles to fend off the toxic hands that seem to
Wrap her in their suffocating embrace, crushing the depths of her soul—
******* her into the blazing, torturous inferno of hell
Their sinister voices penetrate into the depths of her mind—
Her thoughts, feelings, and actions intertwine with their
Evil and corrupt unholy caldrons.

These are her demons. They are part of her. They are her world.
They hold her in *******—
She is a prisoner waiting to be freed from her captivity.
This silence is deafening; the world has suddenly gone numb.
She is paralyzed by fear.
And in an instant, darkness engulfs her broken spirit.

On Purpose

I kissed you without permission—
In hopes that you would kiss me back.
I was open with you—
In hopes that you would be open with me.

I waited in the rain on that cold December night---
In hopes that you would pick me up.
I wrote you 365 letters every day for a year.
In hopes that you would write me back.

I loved you on purpose—
In hopes that you would love me back.
I fought with you on purpose—
Hoping you would fight back.

Three years have passed since our last phone call.
You have probably moved on—
Yet I sit in this empty room,
Wondering why I loved you on purpose.

Daggers dance amongst the valleys.
Shadows plague troubled waters.
Reflections dim as tantalizing wildflowers sing.

I shut them out and drowned myself in troubled waters—
Swift visions succumbed to darkness.
Parallels fall like dominos, crashing into the infinite ground.

Sunshine wasted as I step further into the valley.
Away from hands that feed me.
Aimlessly wondering into the abyss.

What a beautiful paradise lost—
As I take my final breath.

Hearts plastered with sickening love.
Fake smiles sprung from deceitful hearts.
Children crying, babies dying.
What a wonderful world to be had.

One button, two voices.
Which one do I follow?
Wounds opened with steel, I have two choices.
But what surrounds is sorrow.

Panic ensues as tantalizing birds sing-
"Into the abyss, you go"
Paralyzed within the ******* of their wings,
I know there will never be another tomorrow.

What's done is done-
It was a good run.

My brain is in constant torment.
Thoughts scattered as paranoia ensues.
Hate me, love me is its mantra.
Then all is dark as I drift into the Unknown.