You have taken the lovely bits of me and compiled them into this beautiful being. You have forgotten the ***** bits, or detached them from your perception of me... and that isn't fair. With this, you are saying that the whole of me cannot be loved ...Please take me down from your pedestal.
Please let me breathe on level ground.
I am still quite busy ascending from ashes into something that could put out the marvel, the adoration you have for the sun.


-Indigo Morrison

I am not the girl that you settle yourself for.
I am the woman that you solicit ***** words to but never touch.
The woman that you kiss but never wed.
That you dance with but never share home.

I am not "welcome mats"
Or "family dinners"
Nothing about me will ever settle you.
I am full lips,
And soft hands,
Dangerous mind,
And beautiful goodbyes"
I am pleasant "good mornings"
But only because I leave it there.
I am not see you later.

I am the after thought of beautiful,
Something elegant but,
not sensual enough to give into,
smart but, not notable enough to settle for,
I am heaven sent but not suited for marriage,
And I am wet dreams, not yet solid enough to build on.

I am too long, heart on sleeve
But not steady enough to keep you there.
I am kisses too far overdue,
But not striking enough to linger after in your morning.

I am sorry that I cannot be your sun
And I love myself too much to be your moon.
I am sorry,
I have to leave you here,
I am sorry,
I took up so much space in the aftermath,
The in between,
Of you and the one girl who will settle you.


-Indigo Morrison

I am clawing at happiness,
Hoping that it finds me a suitable vessel.
Because, these days are blurring together and
I am seeing endings where there should be ******.
I am filled with leaving
And too scared to scream to the people  I love,
that staying frightens me...
I am finding nothing here
And I am neither good at sitting or good with standing,
And I no longer know in what direction to move one step forward...
I am living in scarcity of myself,
Putting together the scraps of myself
that I no longer want,
But it is all I have.
And my God am I trying to hold on.
I am trying to see the sun
without wishing for the moon.
Wishing for the moon
and waiting for morning.
There is no ground I want to stand on...
There's no hands that leads to arms for me.
You are not here
And you are not willing to lend your heart
while mine is out seeking restoration.
I've always been the woman saving herself
But, how many times do I have to break
in order to be filled?


-Indigo Morrison

You are so important.
You are the concrete built to keep cars from traipsing off highways.
You are the talking down of man when jumping off bridge becomes salvation.
You are the last kiss in hospital rooms
You are the goodbye in airports.
You are exit wounds that go straight through,
You would never lodge yourself somewhere unwanted.
You are the sun after a night almost decisioned as last.
You are the mantra I repeat every morning feeding me to love myself.
You are the reason that today will not fall to the right of the dash sign on gravestone.
You are diaries filled with prayers to God
that I was too scared to voice for fear that he would not recognize me.
You are every foot forward when I was scared my blackness was too big to enter into classroom conversations.
You are wild eyes when everyone is too in trend to take off their cool.
You are naked heart when cold has caused frost bite of these  hands.
Body yearning to be touched but too scared to be honest.
You are the silent
"You are here"
when depression floods me with "you are nothing"
You are the
"This will pass"
when anxieties infiltrate my home without knocking.
You are the silent "I am here"
When I grow tired
with hurt from people
I would lie down what ever blessings God has on back order for me.
You are not the absence of fear but the courage of being scared and to keep moving anyways.
You are hello's too long overdue
from girl too often overlooked.
You are the seeing of Queen over seductress.
You are the man, not loyal to being loyal but, fiercely protecting what is human,
what is steady,
what foundations you have built upon.
You are the calm found in chaos by girl too enthralled by rain to run inside.
You are secrets whispered to the moon
with the ulterior motive of being heard by the stars.
You are everything.
You are so important.


-Indigo Morrison

“I have let go of friends who are not friends.
I have let go of, “I love you’s” that leave the after taste of, “for now”.
I have let go of the men that want to crawl in bed with a woman black,
fantasized exotic.
I have let go of boy who reveres my loudness
But only when it doesn’t interfere with ego.
You mistake hubris for confidence and fail
to stand next to,
work next to,
build next to,
something more than real.
I have let go of woman who deems me not worthy of respect but
of her unnecessary redundant jealousy.
I have let go of his lips that seek release instead of pleasing me.
I have let go of hands more prison cell than wanderlust…
There is something worth touching here,
Worth more than just ******* here.
I have let go of bodies assimilating for comfort
instead of adding to the peace that my vibe brings into any room.
I have let go of you women more foul milk than friend,
More siren than Goddess
More damsel in distress than Queen.
I have let go of darkness for light
but, I will never choose between the moon and the sun,
Because they both feed me.
And people drain me.
So, I have let go.
I have let go
of giving in
and bowing down
of staying silent
of thinking myself 2nd
And wanting to be chosen 1st.”

-Indigo Morrison

I am neither worn
nor torn.
There is no battlefield here to make of me.
There is nothing to help you digest
Me never giving into your "hello"
I am always "no"
I am always "next time"
I am always pick up book
before trusting people...
Contain  before express ,
And when I get too comfortable
it always comes out wrong.
I am always too strong, too much passion...
I am an overwhelming ****** marry
in a season meant for cosmos...
So no... there is was no storm here,
no hurricane
no damage.
I have just not yet opened heart long enough to let in  stranger...
It never crossed my mind
That there may be something better than feeling nothing.
That something that beats doesn't have to involve hurt.
That sharing doesn't mean losing you
and feeling doesn't mean I have to stop breathing.
I am waking in my numbness
I am stumbling from this self induced coma
Hoping to run into a hurricane that
makes me scared of leaving,
Makes me tired of sleeping.

-Indigo Morrison

I wanted it to be you so bad that I kept confusing your being with love and repressing your eyes looking past me when I smiled. Its time I apologize... to me.

-Indigo Morrison

And I'm not ready to have you...
touch me
hold me
enamor me
because once I do,
Once I let you in
I don't think that I will
ever be able to let go,
To let you leave  me.
As leaving is inevitable.


-Indigo Morrison

I dream... fantasize daily,
About the way water feels rushing against my skin,
How silence feels in this crowded room,
How the wind feels struggling to untangle this hair,
How my hands must feel when they are floating.
I’d like to take in the world alone,
But, I am a child with
Not feet strong enough to withstand,
What cement blocks comfort can become of you,
What no hope can drain from you,
What anxieties existing has created of my being.
I feel cornered in my waking,
Lost in my movements.
And I can’t even begin to forgive myself
For the way I keep breaking my own heart
By being here,
And not having the decency to let down my fears...
And simply, leave.

-Indigo Morrison

I have wanted to hold you in these arms of mine for months...
But, I couldn't quite figure out which walls to push down in order to let you in,
What grounding I needed to find to lend you my voice,
My arms,
This heart,
This love.
All I could share,were these eyes,

My silent “yes

My scared “hello”

And I am utterly scared by you,
Or terrified of the you, you will make of me.
I’d like to feel enough to give you something to fall into
But I know I can’t do that.
I know I can’t be her.
I can’t be the girl to share your graces in the morning.
I want to hold you

So that you’ll be close enough to break me,
Break me apart
So I can have something to piece back together in the morning.
See I am good at fixing things,
And being broken.
I am not quite ready to be whole.

I have some wanderlust to fall into,
Some hearts of my own to break,
Some kisses to never speak about,
And languages for my tongue to become fluent in.
And I’m not ready for it to be you.

So let me hold you
In my arms…
Will you break me?
I need something to put together in the morning.
I am sorry that you cannot stay.
Right now, I am not yet, quite ready, to be good at you.

And to be here is to truly leave.
I sound like madness,
But touch me and you will feel it too
Breathe me in and you will smell the desperation
in my goodbye.
I am goodbye
I will never be "come home"
I will never be safe
More flight risk
than shore
More star than moon

You will never find yourself here.
I will never find myself here.
And I'm starting to think "here" is everywhere
And happy is gone as soon as I stepped foot here,
When I first put down book for friends
When I became scared of men.
Maybe it was when he died
Maybe it was when he left
Maybe it was when you said you loved me as you cradled her...
Maybe leaving is my "hello"
And goodbye is my "I love you"

Maybe I am confused
Maybe I am terrified
I don't know how to be here
In this extrovert, overzealous world.
And I hate the way the sun hides everything
And I can only come at night.

You are more than 2am
You are breakfast in bed
And daydreams in classrooms
If I ever decided to be here
I would need you next to me...
You could be my nature
My near by Tintern Abbey...
I'll show you my hurricane.

Tell the truth about the way we loved.
Savagely
Fervidly
Passionately
Wildy
We burned down the walls of our own bedroom
We gave the stars a show
The shore something to grab hold of...
We were endless
Brilliant in our together
Innovators in our type of beautiful.
We inspired...
Men to love women whose mind's were worth
kneeling for,
And women who loved men with respect worth
submitting to...
Tell them how we loved
Tell them
Their was love
in the  way our feet moved
in relation to the other
The way our eyes danced through
all of these people
Till their was something worth settling on...
For me it was you...
For you it will forever be me...
I will tell them...
because sometimes the things that burn
the brightest tend to leave one breathless...
In a world so self contained...
We could not burn down these walls for our beautiful...

... And I keep wishing that
I knew your hands
like body knows bed
like body feels sun
like body knows coffee at 6am.
...And I'd venture to say
I'd like to create a masterpiece
of your being, with my lips
                               my mouth
                               my hands
                               thighs wrapped
around your strength .
I am beyond enamored,
No cigarette could chase these nerves.
No distance could put out this light-house
awaiting the arrival of you
               the pleasure of you
my ears ache to hear what
moans will make of you.
I want to render you
incapable of any feeling,
but longing and elation
only in relation
to me,
to us,
to you,
here in this bed
unbeknownst to the flow of life outside.
captivated
stimulated
by what's in here
                lies here
            naked here
              ready here
made and designed
to be adorned
and torn down
by you....

The man whose hands can't lie still,
Too busy building
Molding
Growing
Creating
Strong
yet gentle..
I watch those hands
careful not to let them touch me.
The way you grow things
If you were to touch me
I'd lose it...
I'd lose it every time...
Wearing heart on sleeve
Leaving door open for you...
No welcome mat at my door
You need no sign. you know I am here.
My own hands are moving
Hips becoming bold
Legs caving beneath me
Hands wanting yours to hold them.
I have always been tempted by the hardness of man
yet how gentle his touch could be with something he is trying to keep living

I feel as though I am dying here, waiting to feel something... to be moved irrevocably by something or someone...
and I am not the only one.

And I want to say how irrevocably sorry I am…
That I did not open myself to the thought that you were a beacon of beautiful.
I did not love you enough to share you.
I did not give you anything to stand on.
I created a world for you that deterred love,
To deter pain.
Fought happiness to remain unscathed of disappointment.
You have created a black hole of your heart,
Nothing for anyone to fall into,
Grab hold of…
You have created a wall of your heart,
That slows down anything that could give it meaning …
Nothing means anything unless it is in relation to something else, someone else.
It is what matters here,
What we leave here,
For someone else to hold on to…
And you have given just enough to leave remnants of …
someone almost here
Almost alive
Almost open,
But nothing to hold on to.
I am sorry.
You are saddened.
You have created nothing to leave here,
And I never gave you the hope to hold on, that someone might stay here
Share here
Think gold
Of the sun adorning your
Being.
I am sorry that I didn’t see it,
They could have
They would have …
It was up to me
To let you feel…
To share you
//An Apology To Myself…

how to write a poem:
1. think about something until it hurts
2. bury it in paper
I think that is what scares me…
That I will wake up one day,  happy that he has to leave
Or wishing that you would exit my mornings.
I am scared that the idea tempts me more than you ever will.
All I see when I look forward, is me waking to the sun
Nesting in my solitude.
I gravitate towards freedom
Something I am not sure love will allow of me.
And I’d like to not be selfish with your time
Which is why I keep you from me,
But some days temptation engages me in indulgence,
And I play around with the idea that, I could stay here
And stand in this
But, when the leaves settle and my heart stops trembling
I grow restless
I grow weak with leaving
…. And I think gold of you,
Which is why I keep me from you.
You asked why I can’t fall in this …with you,
And I’m warning you,
It’s because I’ll leave.
I have to.
And I always will.

“I’ve been carrying this body
Hoping that one day you render me weightless
And find something worth worship here…”

I have lost sight of which direction in which to pick my feet up in.
I am lost here.
I am drowning in this sea of
Everything and everybody being like everybody else
And never being able to feel anything different
Anything better than this.
I am so scared that I will never feel anything again
That I wont breakdown
And come back together for this...
For my one chance
My one life.
I am wasting away here
Forgetting to remember why I am standing here,
Moving here.
Forgetting to remember why my hands shake,
Why my heart is concrete.
Forgetting to remember why my thoughts drive everywhere inside my head,
And no where near touching this earth.
I am not touching this earth.
I cannot feel this moment.
I am only scared here
And sorry here
That I can’t be here
And share something worth missing.
I am sorry that I have nothing to give here,
To build here for myself
but, mostly for you.

I see how much you need me to be here…

I've scheduled an appointment about 3 different times but, cancelled for each.
I didn't think there was any purpose in laying down the voices in my head for a stranger
When I've spent so much time building cement walls of silence between anyone who has ever gotten too close to me.
I have spent this lifetime creating sound proof dream catchers of my screams.
I am not known to grab hold of clingy hearts
Because, it's hard to hold on to things that are trying to do more than grasp me.
I say goodbye or pass them along as often as the tide comes into the shore.
But, I do not come back as it does.
But, the voices in my head do.
The doubts they hit me like teeth to concrete
The anxiety hits me like 10 ft deep waters with no air to breathe in
And I am not the swimming kind.
I am a runner, so it is hard for me to live in water deep enough to drown in.
I have created water deep enough to drown in.
I have become so controlled that I am numb to hands
And I fall to words so easily.
I scare me
My voice scares me
My thoughts scare me .
Night hits like the sun after a storm
And I can't figure out which one I am or which I want to be.
I have created a tornado of this mind
A wildfire of this heart
And a tomb of this body
And I don't know if I have self-shattered too profusely
And too quietly to fix it.
So I am here now,
You ask me why,
                              And I am here because now
The broken pieces can't be ignored anymore,
It's not getting easier in the morning anymore.
It's getting harder to wake
And I don't know how many more days I can be here
Like this...
This is my last chance to fix it
                                          fix her
                                          fix me.

I am scared that I am dying
I have fallen so far into fantasy
That I have forgotten how to come home
I have lost my way of being
I am so scared
So stitched and sealed
That I think I’ll bare my vulnerable
And you won’t remember how to see me
But I want to
****** I want to
I want to be here
I am trying so hard to be here
To stand here
Sit here
And feel something
But it isn't coming together for me
The shards are not piecing themselves together as they should
And I am busy remembering to forget the breakdown
I can’t pinpoint when it came to this
I don’t know how to relax enough to figure this out
I want to live in this life
Be in this lifetime
Find a reason to stay here
Because I am missing it
And it scares me
And I am sorry if you love me
But, it’s so hard to stay here.

I will not cover my breast as an apology for this body
I will not bow my head as an apology for being beautiful
I will not smile at your misogynistic jokes to massage your ego
I will not let liquor give you an excuse as to why it is okay for you to pin my arms
And take my lack of communication as me wanting it
Me wanting you
To take from me something you would not get from a more alert woman.
I will not purchase pants
In favor of dresses and skirts that do not ******* say "this is yours"
Nothing about even my bare body screams "this is yours"
Nothing about my passing glance says "take me" unless I tell you to.
I cannot submit to a man who doesn't fix his mouth to ask me if I want to.
I will not walk this life as a nun hoping you don't pound me to the pavement in your struggle to take control
And gain this power you feel should automatically be yours
To overrule my *****.
No matter
How bare my breast are
How high my skirt rises
How flirty my friendliness is
How my back slopes
How my hands move
How firm my no is
                 my stop
                 I can't
                please don't
                please leave
                not yours
                don't ****
                please stop
                not yours
                not yours
                no
                no
                no.
And with a mind a weak as yours
You shatter
You break
You tear through flesh.
You forget we are made of the same bones
That their is flesh here
That now holds taint here.
I will never find an ocean deep enough to drown myself of you
Absolve myself of sins I had no say in.
And no matter how brittle my bones are
How broken my spirit is
My lips will seal themselves,
Hollow out any lingering screams
Because, society will tell me that I made myself too pretty
That I showed too much skin
in contrast to the heated sun
That I swallowed too much liquor
And walked too ******* ****
And danced a bit too free
all in preparation for
                                   concrete, cold, hard, forced, penetrated
                                   remnants of you.

They fear for their children,
Their things when our black men come near.
But do they forget that it was the pale faces who were the cruel ones?
They shipped and trapped our brown for sugar, molasses...
For things.
They inspected
Destructed
Degraded
Detained
Stripped naked our black men for money.
They stole much more than our black men today.
Beat, broke, and chained our black men
Only to incriminate the black body
Only to create fear of skin that has been kissed by something not man made.
So forgive me if I say "*******" to the police in their attempts at racial profiling rationalizations.
Have you no education?
Have you no intellect?
Have you forgotten OUR history?
You cannot cancel violence by enacting violence.
You cannot stop a cycle that you have began if you cannot even look at yourself .
LOOK AT YOURSELF.
It must be hard being so **** stupid.
Being so detached
And having the good graces to ignore and not to teach OUR history.
The black body isn't what you should lock your doors from at night.
Are you scared you wont be able to see it?
Are you?
It is the ignorance of our society of the simple fact
That what starts here
Ends here.
And we are doomed to continue
This cycle of shedding the blood of each other
If you refuse to educate on where the violence
                                                        ­the cruelty
                                                        t­he ownership
                                                       ­ the belittling
                                                        of the human body began.

Everything is always, always
Life or death for me.
Which is why being here is so hard.
I am in my head
I stay in my head.
                           I can't get out of here.
My faith falls short when my control does.
I have so much trouble
I incur so much turmoil in surprise.
I hate this.
I wish I were able to treat the lows and the highs with the same grace...
But, grace has no place here.
I am obsessive
I am crazy
          Crazy happy
             Crazy depressed
Very anxious
Ready to run
Never sit down
Time to let go
Keep moving
Never stopping
Can't breathe
Too smothered
Gotta go
Gotta leave
Time to run... Again.

Peace now.
Settled mind,
Time to come back.
Things to do
...again.
People to see
Places to go
Life to live
Body to inhibit
Smiles to give
Things to do.
Be here,
Be here now,
Try Tiara try.
Be here,
Be here now,
Try Tiara try.
...but I can't,
Gotta move,
Trying to stop thinking,
Don't want to get too anxious
Don't want to get too scared.

But, I am tired now...
I am ready now
To sit still
Stand tall
And feel something.

I am scared that I am going to become the runaway girl.
Close enough to touch but, not here long enough to hold on to.
I’m scared that I won’t be able to sit still for steady hands.
Its like coffee and cigarettes
Why take in chaos when you will always need the calm?
I need both
The calm the chaos
The real the fantasy.
I am scared that I will get normal and it won’t be enough for me,
That I will get every silver lining I’ve ever wanted and it still won’t be enough
I’ll always want more
I’ll always want the sun, the moon, the stars, the forest…
Nature is so much more beautiful than anything man made
Maybe that’s why man scares me…
They empty beautiful things
And tarnish gold.
But, I want to be touched by a man
Who sees the Queen in me
The chocolate
The Gold
And loves the stutter in my nervous
The weird in my beautiful
The good in my crazy.
I one day, want this
But I don’t know how to share me
Keep me
Love him
Not run
Not run
Stop running
From a man…
Because,
I’m Cinderella at 12 am
Hoping that he doesn't discover I’m not beautiful.

I am your safe word
Say it however silent you need to
I am your calm when unsteady hands shake
We are too torn for the light we are trying to ignite in each other
I fancy your beautiful
I will soothe the trembles in your mind even when she is standing next to you
She can't see you
Stop trying to show her the broken bits that I have crafted for my silver lining
I see your scars
And I am trying to embody to you what it is they mean to me
I love you
It came, it came out
Like waterfalls, like rainstorms, like hearts leaking not yet ready for touch
You're fragile
And I love you
I am not sorry
I will never be sorry
I love you
I am where you are free, this here is your truth
And you are trying to run away from me
I am not scared of your light
You are made, crafted, pieced together from remnants of the sun
I did not mean to fly so close to you
I am not trying to end as Icarus does
I am not willing to let us ruin me.

I want to tell you that the shore comes back for the sea like I will always come back for you
That the moon comes after the sun to ensure just enough beauty that your eyes can tolerate it
You are beauty rapped in man.
And my mind can’t stay off you.
And I want to tell you so many things
So many things so that you see you are loved
I would give you all of me if you would take me but you haven’t
It as if I am a path less taken and far too overlooked .
But, I’d forget all that if only you’d look at me.
Why won’t you look at me
I want you to look at me like you do the stars at night
And I want you to see what I’m trying to show you
I want you feel what I’m trying to give you
I want to give you my love and pour it over your wounds so that you feel what it is I see with you
I want your eyes to see what heart feels
What I’m too scared to voice
But I’d do it if I were close to losing you
And I feel as though you are trying to be a noble man and love the earth by withdrawing you
But please don’t leave.
Stop right here and look at me
I have taken your scars for you
I have given you some medicine to fix the indents careless people have made
And I’m standing here naked for you
Giving you all of me.

I want to hold your arms
Warm and breathe life into them
They are so strong and easy to let myself go in
I want to grant your back the grace to stand up tall and feel no pain in planting your feet in the ground
I want to kiss your hands
As you do mine
You don’t understand the life you put back into them when you do.
I want to warm your heart
Enough so that I can be the person you calm yourself for
I want to be your calm
Your crazy
Your beautiful
I want to be stable, insatiable ground for you
I want to reflect nature for you,
Something beautiful that outshines anything man made.
I want to reflect the consistency of the moon
The illumination of the sun
The sweetness in planting feet to soil
Body in ocean
I want to be what beaches are to northerners, to you
I want to be who you kiss Sunday morning
Who you want to come home to Friday night
I want to be your whiskey
I want to be a part of why you feel blessed
I want you… to be able to see me in my true essence
And I want you to know what your compliment,
Your genuine appreciation and respect means to me.
I want to do what hearts do, with you
I want to do what bodies come together for, with you.
I want to appreciate every muscle, every vein
From top to bottom and push you into ecstasies of pure bliss
As we will fall into exhaustion
Only to wake and create a scene all over again .
I want to be here, someday with you
I want to watch you leave out for work
And know that this is the home you will always come back to
I want to create different ways to mimic hearts with you
I want to blaze the trail to greatness with you
I will celebrate you
I do celebrate you
I see “we” in your eyes
And I feel the distance we put behind us when you hug me.
You match my need to keep moving
I want to bind “unlimited”, to your success
And passion to everything you do.
I want us to be wonders in our separation
And a force not to be countered in our together
I want to believe in “forever’s” with you.
I’d love… for the first time with you
I promise I would…
I’d bind myself to moving forward with you
Next to you
And forever do things just to catch the sun you have caught between your teeth
And the glimmer of the moon you have sprinkled in your deep chocolate eyes
I’d like to be bold enough to tell you what I could be
For you
With you
Behind you
Next to you
But, I am a flourish of nerves wrapped up in a facade of confidence
Trying to mimic the sea
Peaking back to see if you have caught a glimpse of my beautiful.

-Indigo Morrison

I am a Hurricane Girl
I come in waves
Passion or depression
Kissing you or disappearing from everything
I am obsessive with my passions
Anxious when sitting still
I move
Move forward
Move away
Never looking back
I might forget to take you with me
So stay
Stay with me here
Take in all I have to give
And remember the good
When I create storms
Give me peace in chaos
I love the rain
The seas it creates
The ruins that become of it
I am sorry
Broken shouldn't be beautiful
But, I wish you'd make an exception for me.

So I was done with waiting for the moon
I decided that love came when you opened yourself to the thought that someone may think gold of you
And my God did I see it when you smiled
You grew things
The way you touched me with those dark seas
And made me feel as if the room had shrunk
This all became unglued for you
I like the way you parted silences by kissing me
Making regret hesitating in giving into you
You are heart beats and stop lights
You feed me and slow me down enough to appreciate the way the wind moves when it is dancing for you
Sorry that I could not stay here
Sorry that I got scared
You made me see
Legs in snow
Lips in rain
Arms in storms
Eyes in night
Love in ***
Light in dark
I saw you in nature, everywhere I looked
And that is when I knew
That I was done with waiting for the moon.

I will always love books, words, literature, the putting pen to paper people.
2. Nature feeds me and comforts me like amber romance does on nights I feel too high.
3. I fall in love all the time; love is free flowing for me and I will never apologize for that.
4. I am at peace with my music and words. I am most at peace alone.
5. People scare me; I am too unsure what these busy hearts are composed of.
6. I am sorry, you will never be the only one. For I cannot commit to hands as unsteady as yours and eyes that find no value in the sea.
7. I am sad, disheartened that I miss the sun creating morning because I am too busy surviving. It hurts me.
8. I like your lips and what your smile creates of them.
9. I forget to need or garner the desire for the wordly material things that do not move me.
10. I like sweet things and hard truths and people who understand that we are walking contradictions and nothing should be feared from that.
11. I am not gentle, I come in waves and leave it to you to be receptive of my truths.
12. I am real here and ready for a 2 am conversation while the sun still beats.

I am a hurricane girl
I come in waves
Passion or depression
Kissing you or disappearing from everything
I am obsessive with my passions
Anxious when sitting still
I move
Move forward
Move away
Never looking back
I might forget to take you with me
So stay
Stay with me here
Take in all I have to give
And remember the good
When I create storms
Give me peace in chaos
I love the rain
The seas it creates
The ruins that become of it
I am sorry
Broken shouldn't be beautiful
But I wish you'd make an exception for me.

Night sets in
Candles glow
Scents are mixing
Dinner, me, and you.
Tonight it all adds up for me
This apron alone is put on for you.
You are fine, refined, redefinition
Of all black MAN.
I will exist right here
Right now
To share with you
Create a scene with you
Whatever you want to do.
Share fruit with me
Get high
Vibe out
Share your dreams with me
Let down your walls
Take off your shoes
Be confident in me taking care of you
Giving into you
Be free with me
Real with me
Rough with me
Sensual with me
Fall into your urges with me
Let me devour you
I will yield to you creating moans of me.
I'm just thinking on some real ****.
Some all night ****
No clothes
No boundaries
Just some exploration of higher elevations
With someone so beautiful.

I've got to stop chasing fireflies
Cali-lilies and trees
I've got to stop stomping down on earth
Trying to find the sky.
You have perplexed the sun
Set off the moon
And let beings fly high.
You've created remnants of storm clouds
That make coffee stains and cigarette smells linger
You have created kisses out of hands
Eyes out of sea
Waiting for Delilah's to bloom.
You have given spring a new name
Fall a new rise  
Summer a new wanderlust
And winter a new kind of cabin fever
...I see seasons in you
Strength in your truth
You have... come home eyes
And, here in my lost.
I am wandering here
But I am safe here
I will always be naked for you.

Forgive yourself
Perfect was never a word suited for you
Love yourself
Everything comes back to this
Love your sister
She has been picked apart, degraded, and has an internal war eating her from the inside out
Love your brother
He has a time stamp of deliverance to a life of incarceration, bullets released from an absence of sense, lack of educated, blind ambitious followers.
Raise your head
You are a Goddess created
with disarming beauty in mind.
Continue to place one foot in front of the other
You are meant and strongly designed for forward movement.
Take no steps back, do not bow down your head, do not close your mouth
In fear that judgment will fall
It will, but you must speak anyways.
Your voice is imperative
to the growth of lost girls who are unsure what real women are made of.
Your voice is imperative to the peaking of the minds of men unsure what to look for in a Queen, show him.
Your voice is imperative to the readjustment of the image of
Black Women with large voices
Black Women with high diction
Black Women with love language
Black Women with literary genius
Black Women filled with nothing less than the peace & love God has manifested within us.
Black Women
Black Women
Black Women
Who love Black men like double chocolate moist bliss
Who love White men like dark roast coffee filled with cream
Who love Latino men like Butterscotch candy dipped in chocolate
The list goes on
Black Women who love like we are bound to implode if we don't give the universe what it is that we need back.
Black Women
Your Mother
Black Women
Your Sister
Black Women
Your Friend
Black Women
Your Lover
Black Woman
Love Her.

"I guess I am trying to tell you...
Your heart holds desire here,
More than drowning.
There are constellations formed around
the spirit in your eyes.
You are concrete for me
More than any human I am not kin to.
I am not running.
This moment isn't something my mind has to dissect.
I do not pick apart and put back together your words
like I once did.
I know you mean the language that forms against your tongue.
I know that your eyes will always give way to your heart.
I read you
Like I have never been able to do with a book...
Which says much more about your open heart
That you have left naked for me.
I always thought I'd have to give much more before a man is a man for me
But you have shown me.
That love meets somewhere in the middle.
Though you took a few more steps to let me know
You had no plans on leaving...
At least not without me.
I love you.
I read you.
I am here.
I want to stay.
I want you to stay.
I like that I feel this.

I am terrorized by the thought of your hands
And what storms they may cause
What doors they may open
The trail they may leave.
I am scared that they will grab hold
Real tight when I am too scared to allow them to,
They may learn me
They may let themselves devour my flesh
And surround my eyes when falls become of them.
I am scared that they will be able to catch things mid-air
That I was counting on them to lose.
I am scared that they will kiss my heart with warmth
Dance across my lips
Massage my spine with the courage I need to dance through sun dried desserts
Create a welcome mat to a home that I am trying not to fall into.
I am scared that they will be brilliant and beautiful
Skilled and flexible
Everything I need and want…
All I can fathom is terrible things
My own hands shake
Because you keep giving me beautiful…

You enigmatic freak of nature
The way your voice bows
And the guitar sounds
And your legs stomp forward to catch the beat
All while keeping a smile on your face
Your hands fly everywhere, your mouth is a vessel of peace, love and harmony
And I can’t bring myself to move away from you
You tell me…
“Move like you want, move like you need”
And I do all though I am trying not to
I am drawn to your inner wildings
And the way you can’t sit still
I enjoy the calm of you
Because it doesn’t come quite often
The whole of you is beautiful
And I love the way your spirit leads
I just want to be next to you
Be near you
When you vibrate…
It’s soothing to stand in your essence
I don’t think I’ve felt a movement quite like this
It doesn’t even necessitate you touching me
This is an ode to the being you are, the spirit in you
Keep moving
Don’t sit still
People might forget how to feel something.

I guess I like the way you smile at me when I say hello
I am always waiting to say it back to you
You are white chocolate
Mixed and blended at its finest
And you smell like heaven.
If only you’d be bold enough
To ask to share some conversation with me.
I could talk to you about my favorite teas
Or why coffee is the only reason growing is over for me…
If you ask me about literature, I swear I will light up like the sun
And I will never stop talking…
You may not believe me since silence crowds our space when you are near…
But all I know how to do is say hello back
To the beautiful man
Always waiting to smile at his local barista…

"I beg of you to tip toe on my lips
Dance beneath me
And when I fall short,
relax.
I am taking you
inside, outside
soft, rushing, hard.
Hands touching
            grazing
            grabbing
            holding ...onto
           slapping skin.
Melting.
And by melting, I mean you.
I can hear it in your moan
In the distraught face you make
Before you dance into me.
I taste you...
I crave you...
Just as much as I crave your release.
It relaxes me, it pleases me.
All due to your allowance
Of me making a monologue out of you.

We are meant to be Kings and Queens
Gods and Goddesses in Gods image
Women like you sadden me
How easily you shrink into him
How easily you strip yourself
Just to mirror his beautiful
Does it not hurt?
Does it not hurt?
Giving him the pieces of you that were simply meant to show…
Check the mirror without him and what do you see?
Have you seen the color of the corners of your mouth when they come together for you?
Have you seen the sun reflected off your skin
And appreciated walking this earth?
Do you see yourself reflected in his eyes?
Or is It simply a reflection of his reflection that he mirrors in you?
Why are you deliberately forgetting your beautiful
Who hurt you so bad that you stopped loving you?
Why have you stopped appreciating the collage of browns, nudes, and red in your skin?
Our many shades of BLACK are OUR BEAUTIFUL.
…Why are you ignoring them?
What happened to Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman”?
Did you forget that we were born with Fire in our eyes?
Meant to have stride in our steps?
That there is nothing wrong with being love and deliberately beautiful.
Stop settling for the man who tolerates you
Stop sticking with the luke warm souls
Open yourself to the man that deems life with you as a pure testament to God
And finds infinite amazing in your beautiful.

...But will you take it off for me ?
That cool I mean...
I think you're rather beautiful and I'd like to
Cut through the *******
Flash forward to the real ****
Like why you feel your heart is too overdrawn to give a ****
Or why your smile yet fluid in its symmetry
Is flawed in its frequency.

You. Disarm. Me.
Be gentle in your stare.
Any longer and my love will come down for you.
Your lips have grazed my flesh a million times over...
In my mind, that is.
If only you'd take your cool off and let me see you...

You are divine.
As I gaze at you laying beneath me
I have never tasted any chocolate as rich as you
I have never felt any being quite like your presence
I am stuck in an elevator with you even when you are miles away.
I feel you
And you see me
And you love it.
I didn’t know happiness could pierce a person like this
But you have created such a center
That gravity holds no bars to.
I never meant to love you
Quite like this.
But your smile is the most profound thing I have breathed in months
And I will forever be changed in this.
You flow through me like the wind that dances through my hair
You have shattered all reason to run.
You have created a falter in my plans
That has upset my schedule so far into perfection
I so am in love with you.
God gave me strength in waiting for you
I have spent an abundance of my years running from this moment
But He brought you here
He made me for “here”
Be deliberate with me.
Stay true in you.
Right here.
Right now.
I have wanted you like this for all these years.

I like the way the moon sits low for me
And the way the sun lets me steal its light
And mix it with the God in me.
I feel it
Like I feel you .
Your vibe and your drive is un-equatable
I have never seen anything like it.
I’ve never seen beautiful in the way a man moves till I met you.
I’ve never wanted to share the river or the ocean with any man but, you.
But I’m willing to let you fall in love with something
That has always loved me.
And I swear I get scared to share my beautiful
But you have the soul of the bravest King
And I could never ….
Would never,
Want to deny you.
And the way you love but don’t chain me
I could cry thinking of our beautiful.
I am lost in your being
And I am not searching for the exit
I pray your love will flow through me all the way through my next lifetime.
Because I plan to see you there.
I take time to meditate on your love
Just so that I don’t forget to open myself and the universe to such spirits.
I love you so much that I run with you in my dreams
I have never felt a blessing quite like you
And the way the stars came together for this rhythm to inhibit this earth.
It is as if God has chosen an angel to walk with me
Feet in soil
Love on earth
And he is telling me that I am more than beautiful.

You hold me like the stars hold the moon and I am indebted to this.
2. Your lips seal secrets that only you and God know and I wasn't sure I could share these with someone that I wanted to love me.
3. Your eyes are deeper than any 5 stanzas that I spit my soul into.
4. Your hands are a blessing and sin wrapped in one being.
5. I kiss you at 4 am every morning because I can and make love to you anywhere, all the time because this is yours.
6. I say your name in my prayers to God instead of saying thank you.
7. If you were to ever leave I'd still thank God every night with your name because baby, to be loved by you...
8. I like to watch you work and watch you speak, God has outdone himself in the man that he has made of you.
9. I simply compliment your perfection.
10. Michelle Obama has inspired me to reach in and bring out the Presidential in you.
11. You need me.
12. I need you.
13. Come back here to this if you ever feel away from me.
14. You are the book that I go back into a million times over just to learn to ******* and touch you better.
15. Stand in this. Feel this. Take this. God has blessed you with me.
16. Chocolate is my favorite flavor.

-Indigo Morrison

"I want to taste the literature
Within you
Let me show you how to be free...
Your mind is the most beautiful combination of
McEwan sprinkled with a little Palahniuk, throw in some James
It is **** to me the way your feet stay on the ground,
No matter how high they lift you up.
Sometimes I watch you while you read
And I wonder what could possibly be
Slayed across that page so wondrously
As to grant the room with the parting
Of your lips..."

Stop kissing the boy who keeps saying “**** love”
He means that ****
This is his truth.
And you cannot save him
There is nothing YOU can do to change his mind.
It has to be the one… and you have to stop believing that he is just missing it.
Stop trying to cradle shaky hands that you wish to pour your heart into.
We both know how this will end,
He will drop it
He will apologize, repeat, apologize, repeat…
Never stopping.
Until you realize that hearts can’t be held by men who aren't sturdy enough to love themselves
Enough to love a woman properly.
Stop calling him at 2am, drunk with emotions that need to be set free…
If he wanted you, don’t you think he would have told you already?
Don’t you think that he would have found a way to be closer to you than that bottle anxiously calling your hand, your mouth, your mind?
You have got to stop thinking that his “I love you” means anything
If his actions say “I simply like that you are here sometimes”
Stop chasing his scars, wanting to kiss them away…
These boys love war and will do anything that will leave battle wounds
Just so that women like you will feel the need to fix what doesn't even hurt anymore.
So please do not think yourself a hero
More like nourishment for ego
And a Band-Aid showing that things once happened here.
You will not need to fall in order to gain the adoration from the right beloved.
He will be standing, steady foot, quick tongued, with an advantageous heart for you
And he will allow for you to rise into him…


-Indigo Morrison

I’ve found a writer that I love
Whose hair hangs loose like wild-flowers
Eyes shaped like almonds
And a smile that I swear set fire to the rain forest



And how weird this must be for me
Because I promised myself I’d never fall in love with someone who saw the curves in my sadness the way only a writer does
But I can’t help but cling to the way he uses his words with me
He has a clear, concise understanding of the fact that although I am a lover of words I am equally in love with someone who does not waste them
He is particular in his speech the same way he is particular in the way he consumes me
His words are just as strong as his love is
His mouth devours me the same way he divulges his truths



The way his light is as iridescent as the sun during the season of Christmas
But I swear his darkness is just as beautiful.
I am bound to the way my name flows off his lips and
His unconscious need to be near...
Whether it is his hand writing inches from mine
Or his legs stationed beneath me
Or the way he sleeps with gentle interludes



He wakes to touch me
Not to see if I am next to him because …he knows any bed that he is in, I am insurmountably indebted to.
He wakes to touch me
To let me know that he still dreams about me in his sleep
That he still wakes thinking of me even though there is no measurable distance between us



He wakes to touch me
Whether it be the “You are love” from his lips
Or the “I am yours” that he mouths
Or the way he makes both Chai tea and coffee for me, only for him to drink which one I decide to reconsider
He wakes to touch my being



And on the days I need to fall away for a little while
Whether I become consumed in a book or indebted to some instance of nostalgia
He waits for me...
And upon my arrival back to our world that we have created… he simply sits a note under our wedding picture …
“I am missing from you”
And I kiss the lips of the love at which I am bound
With a note in my hand
“I can only go without my breath for so long, for I have been longing to come back to you”
And as we find our way back to this place time and time again...
His arms wrap around me whispering “I am here”

By: Indigo Morrison

Even leaves fall for you …
The sun comes out for you
The flowers bow out to you
And the wind cannot tear its breeze from your hair
The rain can’t help but dance around you
And the fields…
Oh they move high in low for you
Traveling from valleys to hills for you
The ocean shames the river and the sea with its expanse for you
And the stars light hearts for you
Storms build character for you
Hurricanes lose sanity for you
Mountains diverge for you
Caves open up to you
As the earth becomes a shelter for you
Because that’s how beautiful you shine
That is how great your light is…
If my love is not enough to guide your eyes to such truth
Let nature be a mirror for you…

By: Indigo Morrison