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Billie Marie Jul 2021
And no one will ever know you were here.
   What's the meaning behind this?
   You can't scare me anymore.
   I am here anyway.
no matter what happens
however terrible
   I was here first.
   Why is this program to think
of horror and despair?
   Who wrote this program?
   It's terrible.
Yeah, terrible.
But you can be anything
   I want to be
   like the elves
   and like the hobbits.
Want to manifest as lithe and willowy
   and nimble and natural and free.
   I want to relish and treasure Earth
as she is.
   I want hair to grow to accentuate and clothe. A super-fine baby
   hair all over the body. Each one growing a unique pattern that
   evolves over the lifetime. No need for clothes to cover - only
   accessories to carry resources. I can get as sci-fi as you want.
   Where is all of this going?
Exactly.
There is no purpose.
No one will ever know you were here.
   That I thought up that creature.
That you hoped and dreamed and imagined you were real.
   All the while, knowing inside, all of it
and you
   is only
an illusion.
Billie Marie Jan 2022
On the night of the lunar eclipse,
by only the light reflected
from the sliver of her face,
I called to her
and she to me.

I pleaded for my wholeness
and she responded with her peace.
I cried upon her twinkling shoulder
as my tears drenched her darkened shape.

She roused me
from the somber place
to hear my prayer.
A shooting star
flashed across the sky
far off to the west
under where she perched;
moving all her pieces,
showing none of her parts.
Not tonight.

May we be free,
says the one chanting to the skies.
May we be free.
And then the universe
flashes through the night of my space
while the sun shone my shadow,
pulling all heaviness away.

May we be free, says me;
the one who isn’t there.
I am here, the moon beams back.
May we be free; and I am here.
11.23.2021
Billie Marie Jun 2020
Pretend shock or chaotic mind
making judgement known?
All of my country is ablaze
with the discontent of its offspring
It’s birthing of a violent and privileged youth
who know the world of their dreams
is more real than the world of a grand other reality
They saw the slave master’s overseer
on the neck of Kunta Kinte
but their grandparents just saw
a black man getting smart
What kind of twisted psychological manipulation
had to happen for that thought to happen?
Think of the programming involved?
Then think of the gargantuan task of re-programming
And I see with more than eyes -
with the sense eyes fail to capture -
I see that the anti-fascists and the pacifists
marching with placards shouting their pain
they are only two halves of the same t-bill
One is me on a good day
And the other is me on a day
when my favorite uncle George
got murdered by a cop
I can’t judge neither one

I watched some young people looting some stores
The people moved quickly and indiscriminately
These ones were amassing large quantities of toilet paper
Or maybe it was paper towels
And other loot too ...but it was the TP that grabbed me
How to be angry with this?
Why are you out in the mayhem, young man?
Sweet young lady, why you wasting your heaven on a clean behind?
If we cleaned our own messes today would be different.
You can’t look away from young people looting paper goods
Just because you thought the TP fairy
supplied every household with a fresh daily roll
What want and clawing need drives a person to loot
And to loot the basics
Some other kind of slave master for sure
If we are so rich -
So abundantly wealthy and blessed with good fortune
Why are we watching men ****** men in our streets?
And watching our youth burn and loot our cities behind it all?

This is all of us
each and every one of us
If you refuse to claim it
you ain't one of us
You know how this started
and from where we Americans came
Karma plays out in each according to its own
Violence begets violence
and love begets love
If we want change -
if we care to do more than just dream -
and create a better world for ourselves
and our little ones future little ones
than the one that was made for us
then you know what must be done
Only love - all the sayings and cliches are true
Say them, sure, but more -
live them in truth
Lay down all weapons of attack
Violence can only fail to never quench or suffice
Drop all hatred at the source
cutting the power and ending all strife
We have this choice now
or the other hellish death
Choose now - tick tock -
time **** near gone
I bet you never stand around again
like a crowd at a lynching again
And watch a man **** a man in the streets again
America Again?!
You sick savage nation of shame!
Show yourself and be judged by your own justice
I can't do this with you anymore, America. This is a toxic relationship. You must get help now! No more second chances.
Billie Marie Aug 2020
All this for what?
Why do others like to see me fail?
I can’t seem to get this whole set of rules down.
It’s like, in order to have friends and family
one must also have ******* and abuse.
Why is this?
Why so much conflict?
None of it makes any sense.
Each one has the same goal. No?
All only tryin’ to get thru life -
Happy - Free -
Why’s that gotta be so hard?
It doesn’t feel good to behave like a trifflin’ *** *****.
Why so many do then?
This city is a sea of TABs. Ugh!
I just wanna be free!
I know who you are. And what?
That really you are me?
We are all so very silly. We are all so very the same.
I can only love when cannabis sings thru my veins.
Yet, this heart is bursting with love for the Self Divine;
for myself, and all who are destined to find
the truth of existence, the truth in real life -
That we are the ones we have only to find.
That we are the only that ever has been, and
we are the only arising within. And we,
all connected, one life and one love;
can we, each one realize, each one and the whole,
recognize and reveal what we already know?
But, refuse to see, or even to look,
with distractions and dreams
and plans of more futures.
Yet, if we quiet a little, and
listen a bit, we can see all the answers
we tried to forget. No confusion,
no doubt; only straight, direct looking.
Experience is evidence -
it’s the real and the true
and here and now seeing
that this one real life is. Only look.
Only listen. Only open the heart
just a little tiny inch.
Billie Marie Jan 2022
There is something in the patterns which moves one forward. It is in all the patterns and so causes one to see the patterns – the breaks and boundaries. The something – that is you. Why you’re always trying to catch it. Just searching for you. Did you know I found you long ago? I’ve been here. Living right with you in the same house. You keep dusting around me and forgetting to set the table for two - pretending the guest room hasn’t been used. But why not invite me into your room? Why not just try it for a day or week or two? If you haven’t noticed me up till now, what makes you think I’ll make noise once we’re both in the same bed? Tempting isn’t it?
10.23.2021
Billie Marie Jan 2022
the mind is erratic and wavering
the programs are failing
i feel as if i’m in a weakened
and tender state
am i in a state?
i feel the most intense rage and sadness
i feel it and i know
what it feels like for another
10.20.2021
Billie Marie May 2020
Will you stand and be counted?
Not for anything but my God.
Try to force me to declare a side?
They never bothered to claim me.
Why do I care to defend their way?
What happens when you muddy the *** too much
with the wrong kind of pepper
and overkill on salt?
Give me curry or himalyan seasoning
for a fuller taste of being human.
I raise my hands for the drenching rains
and blinding skies.
Nothing else stirs in me the roots of eternity
I knew before they called me
a word that rhymes with Italian ice cream.
Will I stand for a lot of their silly mess?
Hell no!
Give me freedom
from their categorical failures
and strategic mishaps.
And give me a dignity in life
plastics and fashion trends
never acknowledge.
No, I will not be counted
among the zombied 1st world elite
as a byte of data.
Give me liberty to be free
of mass media manufacturing.
And give me autonomous anonymity
to die as humanity promised
when I inherited the genes
that doomed me to an identity
as narrow as a sliver of light -
blink -
now you see a steel door.
Inspired by the memory of those labeled less than human because they were born with the wrong mixture of human DNA.
Billie Marie May 2020
Show me the meaning of encounter.
Each person one meets
tries to retell one’s story.
People want to make life their own;
chip it down to a fable or verse.
I sat across the table from ego
trying to convince me I wasn’t real;
to persuade me that I didn’t only just emerge
from the ether of nothing’s existence,
a glossing over in the eyes of the mask
at each utterance of Truth passing these lips.
What is this?
A piece which loathes the reality
of claiming one’s own inheritance.
Sick, psychotic fantasy.
Will you go to an insane person
who holds a degree in the study of the senseless
to help you decide what you are?
You are bound to find trouble.
Never let anyone tell you who you are or where you have been.
Billie Marie Sep 2020
Why do we say the rising sun?
It is always there.
Sun doesn’t move in it’s broiling glow.
We are the ones
spinning round and round,
cycling in and out,
waning and waxing and
rising then falling.
We rise, cycling round
another spin on the rotation -
turning now, once again,
we face the burning, cleansing, nourishing love,
as if it had left us alone and cold
with only its weak reflection for comfort.
Blaming what never left. But,
wasn’t it we ourselves
who tire of its gaze?
Thinking to slip away and
hide in a kind of make-believe bunker
until ...We tire of that too.
Aren’t we the clever ones?
Yet, Sun is always there, and
in the moment she takes us
back into her warm embrace,
we will be there too.
Billie Marie Oct 2021
What will define this me at the end of this time?
I can come back now. I can.
I can see all of it. I can.
I can walk along and stop for nothing.
I can float away on only a wave.
We aren't any greater than what we believe.
We stood and screamed and were ignored
by the selves we brought to do us in.
We thought our fighting was with words.
But no, we only had to stand.
How can I know I am a peaceful man
when no aggressor exists?
How can I know what I am
if I can't stand next to you?
You can't see it's funny
cuz you think you are what you do.
Delusion is not the problem, it's the platform.
You keep seeing beige and grey cuz
you choose blinders that filter all the richer hues.
You can't take any pills for this one.
I comes and goes when you blink.
How is the end gonna look from behand a mask
when you aren't there anymore to see?
Time isn't running out, it's merely slipping off.
Rain came to cleanse much more
than this you originally agreed to.
Too willfully blind to see that
it's always all along been you.
I see a world where what I see
is what is also me.
I am working this way now.
I am.
Just whatever I turn out to be.
Billie Marie Jan 2022
What stories?
People tell a story and think that makes it universal law:
makes the story real and reality only a dream.
This is what ego-driven people do:
why one day they say one thing
and another day they say something new.
Are times hard? We can say this.
We can say times are joyful, too.
We can say whatever we like.
We can reframe a genocidal land grab
as a freedom chasing dream.
We can be real, too.
We can see what we’ve got
here and now.
And we can love each other
despite the stuff that doesn’t line up.
We can acknowledge and affirm
and set intention
that this that we see right here
will not be our road again.
11.23.2021
Billie Marie Jan 2022
i sit upon
the lowest stair
glance back – no smile – nothing missing
no intention set for climbing
disaster’s near yet
there is no fear
seas of souls ascending

i kick the bricks
and ditch my shoes
and set off
barefoot
wandering
the sky ultra bright
cloudless
filled with Her reflective light

i walk upon
the broken grass
the soil dry and brittle
i hop up
on her overlooking ledge
and lay – in rest and waiting
on her magnificence
and luminous face
from my new collection Crowning The Self in the Time of Corona
for sale on Amazon
Billie Marie Jun 2021
Sometimes
this is only a human word
meaningless in reality
I am always now
not in the now
cuz now just is

The words come
the thoughts come too
feelings
emotions
they come
then go

Free?
Free is creating
the universe of which you exist
there is only living
and the mind

There are different ways
various practices
everything goes to the same end
the beginning

a person - family
community - nation
and world missteps and seems
to be forever off-track
even being here
one becomes lost
the appearance of being lost
the sense one is lost and blind
yet still one is here

There is a hard way
and an easy way
a long way
and a short way
complicated and simple
there isn’t time
only now is real
so only now one must see
this is the easy short and simple way
to reach the beginning at the end
Billie Marie Jul 2021
The interviewer, who was white,
asked the indigenous man, who had dark brown skin,
What was most important in life to them.
'Them' - as if the man and his people were any different
than the interviewer and his.

This was after the man had shown them
(the interviewer and the cameraman)
his entire village - the homes,
where the women forage for food
and how the men hunt for meat.

The man knew what the interviewer was really asking.
Yet he also knew that the interviewer already knew
the answer to his own question - even if he had hidden it from himself,
even if he had no faith and trust
in his own culture’s answer to the question.
Still, the interviewer knew the answer for himself.
And the man knew also,
like everyone who is being filmed and interviewed,
that when someone asks you for your very essence,
it is never only a passing request.
They mean to do something with it at some point.
You see, the indigenous man doesn’t go around
interviewing white people.
He is living his life.

So, when the interviewer asked this question,
“What is most important in life to them?”
A shadow of remembrance passed across the man’s eyes.
And smiling, he replied, “Meat!”
The interviewer, looking perplexed, repeated, “Meat?”
and thought, 'Well, that’s a given.'
And in a tone that suggested
what he really wanted to say
was, 'Duh, what else is important here on Earth?'
The man replied, “Yes, with meat we become strong and healthy.
No one will go hungry.
Children will grow strong and run fast.
Women will be strong and there will be less sickness.
Women will give birth to healthy, strong babies.”

The interviewer’s face reflected blank ignorance
as he again repeated, “Meat?”
And with eyes that said, 'Now let it go.
You will not get from me
what your grandfather took from mine',
the man turned to his son and said,
“We will go hunt now.”
Billie Marie May 2020
The mind collects moments
bad ones and weepy ones
moments to spark fires
and ignite engines
moments to roast the heart upon a spit
to watch the ****** sizzling juices of love
drip down and burn off into smoke
the mind is a storehouse
though vast isn’t spacious
its compartments crammed
full to popping
under the strain
of all the moments in time it collects
to make the body recall
and you gawk at the wreckage
in wondrous amazement

moments in bubbles
floating past on repeat
mind digs in the toy chest
throwing up dreams
more moments of nothing
to hold you away from me
two nations at war for my soul
and all three are me
what mind fudgery
and horrific intent
the whole point is you
just you, nothing else
think what that reality means
whatever you like
life isn’t a playbook of rules
some other person can write
real life is lived
and what can that mean?
other than whatever life looks like
when you’re living through me

each time you can’t see the forest in the leaves
the moments you seem to pull back out of me
are only a specter of what isn’t true
only a reminder to remember your Truth
and turn once again to the Self that is real
and is one with the whole of all life that is living
can you gain joy from rehearsing old stories?
of worries and woes and doubtful discoveries
of fake images and faulty dreamscapes
then go on, by all means, let mind keep collecting
and storing away
for some other fake day
you can’t really be living
if you keep letting mind
give you moments to see
instead of real life
living in your True Self
and you truly seeing
Confusion.
Then, words come slowly;
nothing behind them but space.
Billie Marie Jul 2020
Do we have to mark off the dates,
one by one, for some purpose we hadn't made?
There is nothing profound about awakening.
Everyone can do it.
Do? Well, be it. Everyone IS it.
How can this be special?
In the human sense, it is profundity.
In consciousness, it is what is.
When you step away from constructs, they disappear;
Lose their allure and glamour and mystery and pseudo-power,
which you see is no power at all.
Only a kind of rigidity attempting control.
Again, not real. Only imagined. By who?
Me? You? Same difference.
If it's believed then it's true for you.
A great power over your own delusion of a construct.
A king of mole hills and ant valleys populated by lost souls.
It is nothing.
Can you stand the silence of your own insignificance?
Where there is no audience, there is no actor.
Yes, the sky is a mirror and what do you see?
You see only you.
What do you want to see when you see this world of yours?
Billie Marie Apr 2020
The only thing there is to be
is what you are is love.
Love in every moment
and in everything you do
and think and eat
and drink and see
and say and learn and know.
And teach to each one
who comes along the path
that’s laid right out for you.
This is that which you are here for
and only here to do.
Regardless where you started
or who started it for you,
no matter where you wander
or where you dare to roam,
remember this one thought
within your mind and heart and soul:
I am the light
that is the love
that lives within
the heart of God.
I bring the peace
that gives the joy
to share with all
along life’s road.
and...
a circular poem ...keep the love going
Billie Marie Jun 2020
My neighbor wished me Happy Juneteenth yesterday.
I felt alive saying it back -
Yeah! Happy Juneteenth!
Now! We can say it without feeling threatened;
without feeling alone or lame.
We can say it minus that chip weighting our shoulders
and absent the lump of shame sitting on our chest.
We can sing out, Happy Juneteenth!
in a new melodic tune.
Like when we wished each other, Merry Christmas!
We can say it loud with joy and release
and uplifting confidence
that if one doesn’t wish it back
that one is one of the sad and sorry lost who must suffer.
Juneteenth, you say? Who ever heard of that holiday?
Mrs. Horton would stare you down
like you don’t know your tongue
from your *******,
she heard you say that.
I learned of the true independence day of our nation
as a young student of 17 in public school.
Learned truths my programmed parents couldn’t teach
from one of God’s messengers of truth
manifest in the form of a high school teacher.
I found out because I wanted to know;
know why the ****** up **** I saw each day
happened mostly to people who were brown
and mostly not to people who weren’t that color.
And, I wanted to know why.
To really get to the crux of why -
even though my skin is peachy tan cream -
why I’m black too?
What’s that mean anyway?
Really, you don’t know. Do you?
Not till someone who knows shows you too.
Or, you just forget who they told you you were.
Then you too will be able to find the truth.
Only because of desire and pure will to understand.
But, if you don’t wanna know -
or cared not to know -
then you never knew of Juneteenth.
And this is all new.
And you think - How do these folks know just what to do?
On a brand new holiday
that trumps the other one they tried to fake.
Cuz no nation is free while it enslaves its own fundamental roots;
choking truth to hide its own crimes.
Holding back light to wallow in pitiful darkness.
J4 is nothing.
Juneteenth is all!
You never were free till you freed all your sons.
And you cannot be till you see all offspring free.
Until you hold the truth in your heart
you can never really be free to be what you are.
So really, any independence day was of undercover ******* -
a reminder of the lie.
While enslaved mothers and fathers,
sisters and brothers walked with free minds on this land
and you celebrated your own cruel spiritual demise,
without understanding or true purpose defined.
But now! Look at the colors we have given you again!
Oh nation stained in blood and terror,
look at what we have given
as a token of our love and forgiveness.
Juneteenth! All is Juneteenth!
The one and only true day to symbolize
the day you finally took the first step -
to step away from your own chains
and the ones you tried to use to bind me.
This one day we give you -
symbolizing that this nation is finally now and forever
a sponsor and supporter and endorser of the free!
Happy Juneteenth!
Billie Marie Aug 2020
When there is movement close to this being
close to me - I am in it
And when the noise stops
there is a silly feeling
a feeling of oddness
and out-of-syncness -
a kind of ashamed self-consciousness

I think neighbors
a few and couple houses up
were having a dog breeding party the other weekend
Loud hip hop music
celebrating the gods of fertility and sensuality
all in subservience
to the one which rules them all
Large aggressive male voices
speaking dreams of
the god of green illusions
which never stick
That thing which sticks
is the sound of the mating dogs
riled up into an even greater frenzy
with the vibe of the party
Snarling yelping squealing barking
dismay and rage and
passionate oppressive submissive release
Somehow Consciousness knows when it’s on display
And somehow
though this person
burned with righteous indignation
at the inhumanity of it all
But who am I?
No other - No different - No one
What do I do?
What have I done?
I am not even writing these words
These words are writing me
Billie Marie Aug 2020
sure
the world is ending
but it’s ending
just for you
though you believe
in all the prophets
and predictions
think them true
so you scream
THE WORLD IS ENDING
but it only ends
for you

changes too
this you who thinks
believes so strong
with will deadly as stealth bullets
that the world is wrong
and you can change it
or maybe take a bite
a huge chunk from it
and name it as your own
oh yes
the world indeed goes through it’s changes
but this itself remains
so the world
if it actually changes
only changes
just for you

and the people
are they different
are we other than before
are we better
or the same
or nothing more
than you thought we were
see it all
so very simple
your illusion is only real
if the you who is projecting
believes that it is real

so yes
you can say
all this you see
it’s really happening
and in this you would say true
but only part ways true
cuz in reality
what truly happens is
it’s only happening for you
Billie Marie Sep 2021
This life
it is only a communion with God
Only an adventure with mySelf
The mind
it is nothing
What are you
All the stories
Every adjective
Never ending dramas in infinite worlds
I am just this
Billie Marie Jan 2022
It’s all coming up in spits and spurts –
the worst parts of me.
I see those ones aren’t really me –
just outdated, overrun programming.
Why do I have to choose to run it
just cuz the program wants to finish?
It’s a program. That’s not me.
What’s “me”? I don’t know.
I can’t ever seem to stay still
long enough to decide.

All there is, is all the watching.
All there is, is the art, and the dance
and the song; the words.
Yet, those aren’t me too.
Though, those are the better parts,
the ones I like to keep.
I can say I feel weary
from the other, more tiring things.
But who? Who is weary?
Who works? Who suffers? Who sleeps?

I’m here. This is all I know.
I’m here and, this is everything.
The wonder of the world
is whatever you want it to be.
What do you love?
What will you keep?

I will go, blissfully naked and unmade,
up into the arms of my only beloved –
my Self – my world – my own mother.
I will draw life from the air
and cause the world to know.
We are here.
12.28.2021
Billie Marie Jul 2021
Enough already?
How much more can be said about it?
That which is. I suppose, DUH!
It’s obvious. So then, what else?

Is that how all this got started?
It’s not separate.
Merely a continuation.
Why does this one feel so close?
This one wanted to see the unfolding;
the start of rebirth.
All she knows will pass away.
What is this story for?
Why all this drama?

Karma - Evolution.
It is all just a story.
How are you telling it?
I am living - not living in the story.
I am the story.
The story is living me.
Can you see?
Make sense of this dream?

The mind can’t tell the whole story
it doesn’t know so it’s always frightened
building up compounds
and bunkers and reserves and complex logarithms
it’s crazy
then it tries to make you think you’re crazy
simply cuz you won’t take its medicine
isn’t that the very definition of gaslighting?
tortured?
I call this freedom of information
freedom to know and not know
to see far into the future from the past
and now - still
there is only a snippet
you can see only a toenail
of the vast old beast
really you know not a thing
Billie Marie Jul 2020
the executioner of all we know in this world
so we spend lifetimes trying to manage it
time
we try to purchase it with our last breath
and kneel before it begging for extra rations
and we waste and squander it
like rainwater and pennies
as if it
time
has no end
do we mistake time for God
do we look past the miracle of our divine reality
to bow before a man-made illusion of it
where is all the rushing water ending up
follow the flow and end up nowhere anyway
but with a lot less junk
we look away
only to hide ourself

why so vital
that institutions last
shall we sacrifice ourself
for the survival of the institute
the institute shall stand long after
our grandchildren’s grandchildren have gone to dust
is this a thing of pride
it seems we - the beings
are here only to make the institute the thing
that it is
I am
here to say
I am more than any institution
a country is an anthill
and I - one being -
am the universe
all of existence
the institution shall bow to me
else the institution is no more
I am all that is seen
time, time, time ...look what's become of us
Billie Marie Jul 2020
something large has been released
or rather seen
as one braves a peek around the massive boulder
hiding the light emanating from over yonder
all clears as sun rays burn dew off to vapor
I move through a maze of ghosts
to find my soul of lost souls
and heart of broken hearts

I don't blink this time
and the cloudy vapors skim the surface of this outer core
it is this and this is that
I sense no fear
and there is space

will I let it fill it?
try to stuff it
arrange it in an orderly fashion this time
DIY closet organizers working over time
buy why not keep the release
or not keep a thing?
and remain as you are
can we see ourselves or who we thought ourselves to be?
Billie Marie Jan 2022
we are silly foolish tools
made to slave for those
who know what they are
and when we awaken
to see our handywork
forged out of our sleeping ignorance
will we turn
to the one that awakens
or will we remain the slave
and turn to our captors
seeking vengeance
1.16.2022
14 1 2022
Billie Marie Jan 2022
how to "get" there?
to see you are "there" already
to know you are the "there"
you are the lush abundant joy
that grows in infinite expansive space
time cannot touch what you truly are because
you are also time
wisdom created time so that life
could be experienced as one and many
each is a role
each one plays its part

The life is written. It is you who is living life's words - acting the characters. The heart sees only God. Duality is our shadow trick of the mind.
1.10.2022
Billie Marie Jul 2020
enter ego
tainting, tinting, spiking
now with its foreign substance
always to manipulate and alter What Is
already natural is only good

One did not think one could improve on God?
Did one think this lie?
Did one account for one’s own blind ignorance?

as if one created something new
within the realm of What Is

Step aside and see your own insignificance,
if you can stand to look -
stand the inferno of your own gaze.
And, if you cannot,
how could you believe you are a king?
A king of what?
The lost.

busy the days working in time
making some nightmarish world

You think you are making paradise?
You are building your own funeral pyre!
Must you go to the bitter end,
dragged and gagged and beaten?

it isn’t a giving up

What have you taken?
In order to give something up,
you must have taken it in the first place.
You have not.

only think it so,
making all suffering seem real.

What is this you have made?

don’t know
can’t see
won’t stop and tell
just keep spinnin
and rollin
and truckin along
leanin in and gettin ‘er done …

To what END?
purpose intention life itself
Billie Marie Sep 2024
I wanted to bury myself in your chest again
know the embrace of infinite desire quenched
to be held in your enormous arms
feel them entwine the whole of me
and fuse together with the totality of you
I wanted to forget where I thought I stopped
and where you believed you began
I wanted to cease to be as before you were
and become what I had already created
only with thoughts
though thoughts are all that make anything real
I felt your wanting wanting me like food
your longing devour me
embibing the essense you saw as me
and it was you always
making a kind of me in you you see
Billie Marie Feb 2022
Today is a day
for healing and feeling
the steadiness in the storm
and the beauty of the final cloud
dissipating from the manifest
back into what is always.

Today is day
for stepping into
and out of
and onto a something
that has always been,
though may seem hidden
or only just slightly out of reach
or a whole other incredible elsewhere.

And today is a day
for simple being
and admiring the breath
and tasting the whispers of breezes
and seeing waves of sound
as color
on the wings in flocks of catbirds;
a day for boldness in truth
and tenderness in heart and
leaving dust where it falls
and belongs in the past.

Today is a day
for living now
and seeing what comes
each moment anew;
not focused on clouds,
no matter how mesmerizing,
but attuned to alive and being
just whatever this life is.

Today is a day like every day.

Today is a day for seeing
that time isn’t forever.

And today is a day
for connection
and inter-being
with every form
filled with this life
which comes into this life
today.
being here as you are is life
2.22.2022
Billie Marie Jan 2022
the triggers become more sensitive
the center, if ego claims it, will not hold
the world turns on itself - turns in
tries to save what it thought it was
only killing itself in the process

this little world is sustained by nothing but love
that is the only sustenance
turn to love and live forever
see love and see eternal bliss
be love and experience infinite peace

do nothing
bring nothing
take nothing
1.10.2022
Billie Marie Jan 2022
It’s not even all that entertaining anymore.
There has to be something now to really, really shake things up.
Human beings are all so tiresome.
I deal with this illusion only by necessity, not at all by choice.
Though, I am so grateful, in a sense. I love everything; I do.
But in another sense, I see how dead it all is and I abhor it.
How do I love the **** too and leave it go past,
just like luxuries tempted?
Show me pure peace as a way of life.
This is how I wish to spend my human life:
In Peace
with Peace
for Peace
by Peace
as Peace.
1.20.2021
Billie Marie Jan 2021
Sometimes I think beautiful thoughts
in words of story and prose and poem
I think these come from the ether
and yet they appear at times
competing with Presence
I am seen each time
and that one seen can fall away
Just scales shedding thickly
now leaving only tender almost like raw flesh
gleaming with translucent light
Tell me a future as you have spoken this past
Are we not always right here and right now?
Can we not correct this time error soon?
This is how I know is it not the mind -
the mind would have this hand print different words
Yet spirit whooshes through it all
blowing over every opposition
because I promised
Billie Marie Sep 2021
we are receding
we are moving inward
to prepare for
another rebirth we are
absorbing all
we have brought forth
in abundant harvest
with the fullness
of our moon light
we are strengthening
we are gathering
all unto us
we are resting
within our Self
Billie Marie Aug 2021
we are receding
we are moving inward
to prepare for
another rebirth we are
absorbing all
we have brought forth
in abundant harvest
with the fullness
of our moon light
we are strengthening
we are gathering
all unto us
we are resting
within our Self
Billie Marie Sep 2021
we are giddy and playful
testing our new boundaries
looking for new adventures
in old words and scenes
we are feeling so full like this
bounty is and always was eternal
we forget to check inventory
we forget about cycles
and laws and pretend
we can play Gods on Earth forever
this is our waning gibbus
Billie Marie Jan 2022
she hides her details
behind a thin haze
of orange clouds
keeping things private
stuff no one need know
still shining brightness
enough
always enough
tired and enfolding
looking for nothing
resting in the glow
of pure presence
10.23.2021
Billie Marie Jan 2022
all has been cleared away
that is not true
we are naked pure
gleaming present light
we are barely peeking out
around the dark wall of shadows
you keep and love
yet look
you’re already squinting
how will you look to see us
in shadowless space
11.5.2021
Burn baby, burn.
Billie Marie Sep 2021
going past the quarter of no return
feeling rather timidly
hesitatingly
full of something yet unseen
liken to smelling the baking cookies
but having to leave before the bell rings
here is always where trust comes in
has to or it all falls apart
till we begin again anew
distraction's got nothing
on this bright new filling moon
Billie Marie Jan 2022
Moon holds court before the sun
shuffles off lately. Looks so
beautirific hanging out in the cloudless
bright, blue sky. She’s got a secret
she’s holding in till she’s fully ready
in her own way. Glowing
with mysterious luminescence;
beckoning us to pay close attention.
She’s got something
that's gonna knock our socks off
1.12.2022
Billie Marie Sep 2021
we are only
what we think we are
better than we imagined we
are more than we might dream
we are with human minds we
are finally only as good as
we dare to experience
without the mind
we think we are
from my new collection, Crowning The Self in the Time of Corona
for sale on Amazon
Billie Marie Jan 2022
there is only dreams
and illusive delusional imagery
i want to see only clear white screens
nothing can stop what’s coming
if you speak
say it straight and
clear as ice cubes
you can make it so
abundance is what you are
beauty arises from your form
your being is drenched in peace
joy bubbles from your inner essence
you’re not any more or less
than you ever were
Ha – la – ya ya ha
all fun and joyous play
full of games you never allowed yourself to play
play with building blocks of
loving kindness and tender mercies
***** only skyscrapers of peaceful bliss
you awaken to find the self
you always knew
but thought was lost
right at home
oh heaven!
this bluest translucent heaven!
how could I ever ask for more
10.22.2021
Billie Marie Jan 2021
the day the man named Yeshua was murdered
a schism bent through our world
so many cut down in the name of a concept
we are already here
why are we fighting our Self
we are but one
the one for which we have always searched
and slaughtered in who's name
why not try the way of peace
for only the lives of the ones who come next
we have slumbered
under delusion
of a maniacal tyrannical mind
determined to destruction
and see
we are here
come now
we have tried the old ways
we have spun tales of horror
and chanted victory
over the bloodied corpses of our very own
will some ever learn
from parents and grandparents before
only to see what is here
what life do we want
here
now
what world
what view
what voice to chose
to speak
and to listen
what are we doing
right now
while we are here
Billie Marie Dec 2024
You are everything. There isn't anywhere I can think
and imagine to go where you won't be.
Inescapable. Even when I imagine I've killed you,
I curse the name given to you. There I see you
in the profane words, in the rajas of violence.
Where can I go? What shape
can I take to hide from you?

I quiver on the edge of Love and Hate,
yearning with pain and in vain
for mercy forgot me and relief
is a distant mirage in an endless desert.

I grow to love the shiny polish
from grains of abrasive sand.
I wait through a coarse, dry world
for cool deluge transforming
in a blink everything from sand to sage,
and slowly back again.
Who can do this? Who
can harness a power
perceived in between
the friction of fire and air?
Billie Marie Jul 2020
How do I begin to pick up a pen?
How does a thought take me to Neverwhere?
They never can ever tell us the reality
of the realest questions
and, for some, it’s just fine.
The rest need more.
Something? Not a thing.
Someone? Quite plausibly.

Won’t let go the tap tapping
or drumming or the pokey poke.
It’s there. But, you keep your head in the game.
Cuz, ya know, what else is there around here?
Spiritual desert with no substantive food.
Like biting into a juicy hamburger
and tasting sawdust only.
Only if those ones
could just keep their blinders
in proper position,
proper place to look and stay
and march along on
in single file lives
to mark one existence onto the next.
Who though?
All for who?
Or, what?
Surely,
God needs no marching ants such as these?

They who can’t see
will surely deny the real world
you know is here
and call you a blind fool. Ha!
Jokes on jokes on yokes
of jellied stroke marks.
Get off my back and let me live
how I see. Not through your grimy,
filthy, streaked and yellowed seeing.
But with clear and pure eyes
you hadn’t touched yet.

What happens to those ones?
Where have they gone?
Looking, looking close and away
and all eyes sense
is dust mountains and cave dwellers
and absence of light.
Where are the true ones
filled with the light of the rising Sun?
Come home!
The place with the voice pointing out cracks
is singing a song so longing and sure
and cannot look away.
Not with COVID and all of this world
awakening to see what they -
the blind ones -
have done while the rest have been sleep.
Blinders melt in sunlight
and aren’t needed
by the light of the moon.
Here one finds the way by heart.
Here one sees for real
where we truly are. And then?
Ah! And then,
what else can one be except
free.
Billie Marie Oct 2021
we will write of silence
we will sing of nothing but space
they will wonder at our boldness
we will see nothing but Divine Grace
what did all the ancients tell us they saw
what have we seen too
I have heard only silence
felt only stillness
observed only space
I see all the beauty
I witness living pure
crystal bright luminescent reality
blunt objective words can never really describe
I can only give up what isn't truly mine
I'm not writing a poem for anyone to read
I am only living a poem for everyone to be
Billie Marie Jul 2020
what is worth writing
when the thoughts come for identity
only true being
is all
that is actually written
Billie Marie Jan 2022
Now the feeling is calm:
Melancholy in a good way;
in a dying after living
a robustly fulfilling life sort of way.

A little ahead of the herd;
a little behind eternity.
Isn’t the herd me too?
What’s going on here anymore?
Is anyone winning or losing anymore?
It seems a bit chaotic anymore.
Megalomania is a big word
for a little mind.
What can we be if not kings
and queens of forever?
Why chose to be born a slave?
Why make a world this way anyway?

Who’s punishing who?
Whose mirror do I see?
There’s no one else to watch;
no one to wave back.
No one noticing anything anyway anymore.
You can do anything
cuz nothing even matters anymore.
Aren’t we at the crux of the cusp
of the ending and beginning of time?
Can’t you see the party playing
on the screen in the other room?
Didn’t you hear the great HUM
resound in her belly?

Why am I still writing?
No one is hearing my words.
You are speaking volumes of love
to masses of vast empty oceans.
You are riding on waves of endless clouds
under the expanse of endless unbroken sky.
You are writing for me
and I am speaking only for you.
11.14.2021
Billie Marie May 2020
There comes a time while writing
when it seems there is nothing else to write
the space
the white pixel, faux paper screen
the air around the headspace not thinking
the pulse of the heart in the chest always beating
the room and the chair and the desk and the lamp
all still and silent and awaiting the next song
so they can dance once again
one time only keep the moment full and blooming
or receding or detaching and attaching
and inflating or removing
it’s all the same
the beginning and the ending
and the half-life of the fullness
and overflowing of the emptiness
in all there is and all that there is not
Billie Marie Aug 2020
The mind makes this hand
strike this head
as if to say - See! I am here and you have to listen!
We invite all sorts of ugliness in
to protect us from who we think we are
and employ others
to help with the job
knowing nothing
What am I writing?
Doesn't matter - I am always writing
I wish to go to a place
where the mind cannot go -
where the mind does not matter
and the mind couldn’t help
even if it wanted to
Much better to let things go -
fall to sideways -
than to keep fighting
Life just goes that way anyway, right?

The mind - roving, moving -
always looking for next
Eat smoke drink blah-blah repeat
Little agitated thoughts come -
shouldn’t this - must do that
Poke, poke and prodding along
To where?
Like the poor cow - to my death
I can smell the blood
same like she could
I turn - try to turn away
from the death they bring -
eyes mad with fear - humanity’s disease
But the walls are close - so close
Didn’t we make it this way?
For security and comfort
and to keep us all moving in a straight and steady line?
A lineage of unbroken sleeping zombies
drunk on our own separated imaginings
The world you see shrinks smaller
You start to touch the edge of panic
Yet steady in the storm
and no long feel it
Yet see it go rushing past
and leave you where I am.

Yet still and I see the mind
throwing up moments
setting up forms for my perusal
wasting its time
For what?
Isness minds no time
Why some times I get hooked?
It’s just this world - no need for fear
I am free
Did you think to make me
believe I was the worst?
Ego - mind
all deceit and trickery
Yet, I see you
Will I take you again
to yet another life -
some other dream
No this time is done
This mind is set aside for no person
This mind is made for only bliss
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