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Aug 2021 · 340
waste of an identity
his identity was shown
in the way that
he
hung there
for the world
to see
a mistake
forever repeating
a story without an ending
never comprehending
his true identity
a mistake
forever repeating
Aug 2021 · 568
instructions (friend)
a friend is someone who is there for another
who is considerate
who is kind
a friend is someone who is there for you through time
these are my instructions to you
for the next person you find
these are my instructions to you
Aug 2021 · 1.2k
coffee, poetry & bullshit
my structure comes in the form of
coffee,
poetry
& *******

i drink coffee to stay awake
long enough to write words
to ******* through life
so that i can explain to people

how my structure comes in the form of
coffee,
poetry,
& *******
my structure comes in the form of
Aug 2021 · 220
how to appear sane
how to appear sane:
smile
be outgoing
surround yourself with others
talk about your health regime
even if said regime doesn't exist
never speak out of turn
never make a scene
all negative thinking must remain inward
there are other people to not be drained
never, ever, ever ask for help
don't admit you are struggling
don't say that life is hell
have a full time job
if you don't have one - make one up
if you have dared to miss some sleep
cover that **** with make up

how to appear sane:
be forever friendly to others
even if your friendliness is fake
everyone else will always know best
when you are mistreated by them
wear it.
learn to hide it.
learn to drink it.
learn to eat it.
learn to slice it.
learn to burn it.
learn to deny it.

how to appear human:
cry when your body needs to cry
sleep when your body needs to sleep
talk when you need to talk
create your own regimes
they don't have to make sense to anyone else
if your life is hell
then it is hell
how to appear sane
get rid of the myths that come with sane
get rid of the myths that come with sane
Aug 2021 · 318
temporary game of life
he does not want to lose
she just wants to win
i don't want to be excluded
they just want to begin

he does not want to be left with nothing
she wants to have it all
i want to find out the objective
they don't want to play anymore

he has already lost
she does not know the value of what she has won
i want to unlearn the objective
the objective killed someone

he did not want to lose
she only wanted to win
i wanted to be part of something
they just wanted to exist
they just wanted to exist
Aug 2021 · 306
consequence emerging
i once watched someone lie
it looked exactly like telling the truth
it was only years later
that i saw the consequence
emerging from who they had turned into
it was only years later
Aug 2021 · 416
risk
scary little risk
hanging from the growth tree
scary little risk
the one you choose to hide from
stunted,
lost in self protection
protection turned into prison
conservation turned into cage
scary little risk was not the true fear
true fear was not living at all
scary little risk turned into a beautiful rose
but you are afraid of flowers
so you did not watch it grow
scary little risk turned into a beautiful rose
Aug 2021 · 152
endurance
the person in the mirror is an old, old friend of mine
you would think that she would be my enemy
judging on my history
but time has a way of redefining judgement
experience has a way of re-evaluating importance
grace has a way of breaking down pride

the person in the mirror is constantly evolving
sometimes so much so that she does not align with me
she will be my neighbor
she will be my mother
she will be a perfect stranger
she will be everything else in between

the person in the mirror sees the finish line
before i have tied my laces
before i have found the beginning
she will coach me in a way
that no other can perceive
before i even know it
we will both be in a place no one can see

the person in the mirror is an old, old friend of mine
she used to be my critic
she used to be my opponent
but love has a way of healing the deepest childhood wounds
peace has a way of emerging after endurance
before i even know it
we will both be in a place no one can see
Aug 2021 · 181
needing detachment
i do not need you
you are a color on a rainbow
a color can be quickly painted over
i do not need you
you are something nice to look at
but beautiful things have a way of moving
you will move on too
i cannot need you
i have needed things before
when you put all of your hope in something
it becomes valuable
it becomes dangerous
it becomes flawed
nobody bothers to steal something that is not needed
i suppose you would be useless to a thief
if there is no attachment
there will be no grief
i do not need you
please,
stop needing me
nobody bothers to steal something that is not needed
i suppose you would be useless to a thief
Aug 2021 · 549
support group
fairy dust in the air
settling on each of them
silent understanding
lingering,
comfortable,
right.
not one of them noticed me
deliberately, in the background
casting my invisible spells
creating the comfort
they all so desperately needed
six people surrounded by isolation
in search for some sort of remedy
a cure to an ache that burns slowly
the fairy dust seeped into their skin
the comfort enveloped them
the magic was working
they all began to look like each other
the courage took hold
they each began to speak
the curse of fear broken
fairy dust in the air
not quite competent at being human
not quite competent at being alive
it's hard to find the way to the pass grade
when the map has been hidden
when the study notes are lost in the fire

not quite competent at being human
an alien inside a body unfamiliar
it's hard to be a woman
when the blood that is shed monthly
is seen as offensive
when the blood shed comes from wars
fought years ago

not quite competent at being human
but competent at being brave
it's easier to keep passing through
when i ensure that my voice is being used
when integrity is being pursued

not quite competent at being human
but competent at being creative
it's easier to breathe this air
when an art form is being prepared

not quite competent at being human
not quite competent at being accepted
but competent in accepting others
competent in accepting that the problem is theirs
competent in accepting that the problem is theirs
Aug 2021 · 428
the poet tree
the poet tree
with it's many limbs
entwined in the web
of creativity

the poet tree
where she goes to sit
under the shade
of invention

the poet tree
with it's trunk of nourishment
born from soil
enriched with embellishment

the kind only a writer uses
to flesh out fact
with romantic fusion
combining truth with fiction

the poet tree
where she comes to read
under the protective cover
of poetic sanctuary
the poet tree where she comes to write her poetry
Aug 2021 · 135
lonely (are we?)
if i am lonely
if you are lonely
if we are lonely
if we are all lonely together
are we really lonely
at all?
are we?
Aug 2021 · 304
the Pain of Healing
everyone knows Pain
she visits every one of us
wearing different disguises
different costumes
so we do not even realise
that Pain has become our friend
until we are sobbing on the floor of the staff room
until we are putting up barriers so we never let such humanity show
until we are cutting off lovers, family, friends
until our own raw reflection is too much confrontation to handle

every one knows Pain
she presents us with a bottle and promises a cure
she hands us a blade and offers an escape
she gives us diet pills and leads the way to "True Beauty"

Pain looks so different every time
making it near impossible to spot her pretty lies
if you look closely though,
she has a pattern of isolation
never, will she promote Unity
Connection,
Hope,
Community
always, she will order you to operate alone
forever drawing upon inner self-centeredness
never, will she guide you to Truth

every one knows Pain
she is a clever friend to all
always lurking in the background
waiting, on standby
ready to become our transportation to the morgue

we have a closer friend called Healing
stored in a back shelf
that we sometimes forget
she also comes in many forms
she is a song
she is a hug
she is a pen
she is a pen
Aug 2021 · 435
question mark removal
do you think that you are beautiful?
the question filled the room
the question mark,
so stark
digging into my ribs
like a phantom pain
that everybody else calls hypochondria
that i call invalidation

i grab the question mark
with a fierce fist of indignation
i change the words around
an attempt at self love promotion
i throw the question mark away
pull out my bold persona

YOU DO THINK THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
EXCLAMATION POINT!
CAPITAL LETTERS!
BOLD!

do not question my beauty.
do not question my existence.
do not fill the space that i dare to embrace
with a question mark
when you could be making magic
when you could be dancing in the light of your own healing

yes,
i do think that i am beautiful
you shouldn't
have
to
ask
you shouldn't have to ask
Jul 2021 · 1.4k
Masterpiece
There were people in every room
Inthe hallway
In the street
There was no where safe
No escape
No secret harbour
Nothing
Eventually he found an alleyway
Wonderfully empty
Until he noticed the human canvas
Sitting crosslegged in the corner
That's the day he painted his first masterpiece
Thats the day that he met me
Jul 2021 · 88
sign on the door
i dont know you anymore
i put a sign on the door
it says,
do not enter
danger
beware
i dont know you anymore
there is nothing left
Jul 2021 · 533
r.i.p (closet)
this closet
is so lonely
i once found cowardly refuge in its privacy
now this closet
looks
more like a coffin
please let this weary soul rest in peace
rest in peace
Jul 2021 · 99
hope (fairy tale)
hope is a fairy tale that i no longer believe in
my liar of a mother
told me hope is a forever friend
my forever friend left me
in the middle of a **** storm called
MARRIAGE.

hope was the name of a daughter,
i never had
never birthed
never nursed

hope cheated on me with bitterness
they ran off together to a land
that i cannot enter
where my strangeness is forbidden
and my name is unknown

hope is a rejection letter
that i keep receiving
the same **** words, repeated
over and over
in different cursive
by different senders

hope is a mindless drunk
intoxicated by listless lies
"i will call you"
"i will love you"
"i am your friend"
lies that i once believed
in my naive adolescence

hope is a reoccurring nightmare
a dark, hooded figure
with a noose for a head
and shovels for hands
digging a grave,
imbedded in my soul
a metaphorical black hole
representing all that i have lost

hope is a future that i cannot see
hope is a gift that i will never receive
hope is a fairy tale
a story with the happiest of endings
hope is a myth
in which i cannot believe
hope is a fairytale.
Jul 2021 · 241
obstacle
when you are see an obstacle
you find a way around it
you build a bridge
you find a tool
you create a new path
when she was unwell
they called her an obstacle
they called her a drain
no bridge was built
no tool was found
no new path was made
when the obstacle is a human
when the obstacle has feelings
when the obstacle is a fragile girl in pain
the world makes no allowances
the world throws her away
when the obstacle is a human
Jul 2021 · 256
Heartbreak Island
I live on heart break island
This is my lonely oasis
Bitterness
Rejection
Misery
Dispair
The names of my solemn aquaintances

We moved to heartbreak island
Different lovers let us down
Bitterness
Rejection
Misery
Dispair
They are all I know of now
i live on heartbreak island
Jul 2021 · 642
fantasy
maybe i should give up waiting
waiting on a call that will not come
people like you do not change
i have no more time to waste
i need to give up on this fantasy
that you are capable of love
i need to give up on this fantasy
Jul 2021 · 275
Three
Vivacious, visionary with a temper
Writes all of her anger out on paper
The man who left
The woman she holds
The man who makes her wait
Three people who occupy her heart space

Kind, creative poet with a mission
To share words with anybody who will listen
A poem about hope
A poem about change
A poem about incandescent love
Three poems that were spokenĀ from the heart

Empathetic encourager with the soul of a mother
Teaching the art of loving each other
A lesson on patience
A lesson on forgiveness
A lesson on compassion
Three lessons that were all taught with passion
three people. three poems. three lessons
Jul 2021 · 616
power reclaimed
i am poised,
ready to fight
hands clenched
straightened spine
i've been through this
a thousand times
everyone knows
my battle cry
it's the sound of a woman
trying to break free
it's the sound of liberation
a song called victory
i am ready for war
i am ready to fight
i will reclaim my power
i will take back what is mine
i will take back what is mine
Jul 2021 · 2.1k
C.U.N.T
The most offensive word in the English vocabulary
Is a reproductive ***** of the female anatomy

They made my very *** offensive
Turning words into weapons

I refuse to become a derogatory remark
Each and every one of you was birthed by a beautiful *******

The most offensive word in the English vocabulary
Describes the most powerful part of my body
the most offensive word in the english vocabulary
Jul 2021 · 861
Closure
Closure is something that I will never have
You did not think I deserved that
No explanation
No goodbye
Makes me think that our friendship was a lie

Closure is something that I rarely receive
It seems they do it just to spite me
I'm too much to deal with
Too much drama
Too demanding
It makes me question the point of my existence

Closure is an elusive myth
As invisible as a birthday wish
Closure is an old friend that I met in a dream
He taught me about acceptance
He taught me about inner peace
Now I realise that true closure is found from within
true closure is found from within
Jul 2021 · 253
Army of Secrets
Tiny secrets grow in size
The longer you hide them
They multiply
The more that you lie
What once was tiny
Is now a gigantic army
An army of secrets
Preparing to fight
an army of secrets
preparing to fight
Jul 2021 · 286
disease & war
disease and war go hand in hand
covid wasn't a war but it felt like one
disease and war go hand in hand
Jul 2021 · 773
Bold Move
I dared to be different
They did not want different
So I did not want them
i dared to be different
Jul 2021 · 177
something borrowed
something old
something borrowed
something blue
something new
something to make me forget
i ever married you
make me forget
i will live on because of you
i will live on despite of you
one of these things is not true
which one will you choose?
which one will you choose?
Jul 2021 · 543
What Matters?
Things like love don't matter
What matters is time

Sacrifice a lover for the chance to relive another
Moment of you life

Things like love don't matter
What matters is time
what matters is time
Jul 2021 · 435
Know Me
Throw me in the middle of chaos
You don't know chaos till you know me

Throw me in the middle of peace
The unfamiliar will be disorienting
you don't know chaos till you know me
Jul 2021 · 92
Commonplace
A common mistake
A common phrase
A common name

If everybody knows it
If everybody resents it
If everybody fears it

It's easier to hate
it's easier to hate
Jul 2021 · 224
Too Far
How do you know when to stop
When you have never gone too far?
When there is no finish line
When nobody has made it a crime
You keep on running
Keep on hurting
Every single time
how do you know when to stop?
Jul 2021 · 154
7 things
7 things to say at the end of a life
I love you
I know you
I'll remember you
I hate you
I abandoned you
You are nothing
Who am I?
who am i?
Jul 2021 · 229
nobody
no problem here,
no,
none at all
please keep walking
nothing here to see
said everyone,
to someone,
to nobody.
no problem here
Jul 2021 · 218
Ingenuity
You went to the trouble of buying me a leash
Except my neck was already occupied by a rope
So you tried to use the rope as a leash
Marvelling at your ingenuity
Only to find you were dragging along my dead body
I suppose that dead is better than nothing
marvelling at your ingenuity
Jul 2021 · 419
Prey
I don't mind being the prey
As long as the predator is someone's prey

I'll go down with the ship
As long as you drown underneath the same waves

I'll be the prey, I don't mind
Some things are worth the sacrifice
I don't mind being the prey
Jul 2021 · 397
rules & other shit
i have a few rules
you don't need to follow them
i have a few rules
the first one is
make your own rules
i have a few rules
Jul 2021 · 117
Flies
I thought the flies were my friends
Because there were so many around me
Then I realised I was dead
Now it all makes so much sense
it all makes so much sense
Jul 2021 · 195
interruptions
i had an idea to
in the middle of
but only if
on christmas day
i tried to make a sentence
but your interruptions got in the way
your interruptions got in the way
Jul 2021 · 201
censored
i wrote a brilliant poem
sent it in to be edited
it came back to me censored
so this is all that is left to read
this is all that's left to read
Jul 2021 · 611
Embracing Emotion
Be proud when you feel angry
It means that you are alive

It means you are not yet numbed
By all the ******* from outside

Be encouraged when you are crying
It means something touched your heart

Be grateful that you are still standing
Even if we're standing 1.5 metres apart

Be joyful knowing that joy is a portable tool
That you can stick onto another soul that has long ago been frozen

Feel accomplished when you see that joy melt that soul in transformation

So now what once was a cynic, is now somebody brand new

Give yourself some credit because that change started with you

Embrace your emotions like you are bracing for a fall

If we do not embrace all of ourselves

How do we love others at all?

Be proud when you are angry
Anger means you actually care

Always look for a reason to be here tomorrow
Even though tomorrow is never really here
embrace your emotions like you are bracing for a fall
Jul 2021 · 372
THE SHAME OF JUDGEMENT
I will never judge you on your conditions

I will never shame you for how you were born

Do we judge  the ocean on her turbulance?

Do we shame the sun for her ferocity?

Do we try to stop the rain from pouring

Simply because she chills us to the bone?

I won't judge you on your conditions

I won't shame you when you have done nothing wrong

Your authenticity is something to be proud of
your authenticity is something to be proud of
Jul 2021 · 229
EQUAL OPPISOTES
I am a lifetime
You are a moment
Somehow we both equal the same

Birth into childhood
Childhood into madness
Both clinging on to hope for change

I see the sun rise
You see the sun set
We both see the same fire ball of life

I am the poster child for self harm
You are the logic keeping me calm
We argue when we are both right

I am a lifetime
You are a moment
Somehow we both equal the same
somehow we both equal the same
Jul 2021 · 235
True Meaning of Lonely
Lately I've been wandering the streets

Catching glimpses of a place that I used to belong to

Lately I've been taking mental pictures

Storing them in files that no one else can access

Lately I've spent more time on my own

Discovering the true meaning of lonely

Now I'm standing in the middle of your street

Asking if you still know how to love me
lately i've been wandering the streets
Jul 2021 · 271
All We Lost
I lost all my reasons to love you
You lost your will to try

I lost all my faith in faithfulness
You lost your dignity and pride

You lost all my trust
When you lost your mind that night

So darling lose my number
This is how I say goodbye
this is how i say goodbye
Jul 2021 · 56
Hell No
I don't want to be your casual fling
I don't want to be your ***** distraction
I don't need to hear you say you'll call
When we both know that you won't
So excuse me while I move myself on
he wanted a one night stand
yeah,
no thanks.
Jul 2021 · 241
Thirty One
I am only thirty one
So why do I feel so tired?
I feel like I'm fighting a war
Running a race that I cannot win
Yet when I look in the mirror
I still see a little blonde girl
With a ***** face and a cheeky grin
Why hold onto memories from so long ago?
Why can I never quite move on?
I do not feel like I'm thirty one
i do not feel like i'm thirty one
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