I trusted you!
A whole year I put my faith in you!
I told you my fears
I told you my dreams
I showed you my days
You opened yourself to me
You made me laugh
You saw my tears
You helped me through my fears
A whole year...
But now, it’s over
I don’t trust you anymore
You tore me apart
You made me feel small
You say you care
The signs are there
But you broke me
You crushed my heart
Reached in my body
After complementing it
You tore my heart to shreds
Tore my brain
I trusted you
And now....

Open my mouth
The words come out
But they don’t feel soft
They feel like daggers
Newly sharpened daggers
Flying towards the ones I care about
They all back away from me
From the weapon of destruction
Who can’t be controlled
Taking hits from everyone else
Building it all up inside
Then shooting it out
But I must keep it in
To protect those I love
But the daggers bounce around in my stomach
Making me die inside

Red
Takes over my hair
Red
Takes over my nails
Red
Takes over my clothes
Red
Takes over my swim suits
Red
Lives in my blood
Red
Lives in my lips
Red
Stays in my kisses
Red
Lives in my heart
Red
Made of me
Red
Shows my beauty
Red
Brings **** back

Green
Blue
Gold
Many colors
Earth has many colors
Earth has many mysteries
Earth has many creatures
Earth has been alive for millions of years
But what's to say Earth won't die
Earths main enemies you ask?
The only creatures that can talk
The only creatures that can drive
The only creatures that create and destroy
Humans
Humans need to stop
Humans need to change
Humans need to learn to grow
A flower would be the perfect teacher
An animal would be the perfect master to the student
I would know
I ride horses
And even though I have a human instructor
My ultimate teacher is my four legged go kart

My friend
That’s what you are
You’re in pain
So am I
I understand
I don’t understand your pain
But I can feel it
Can you feel mine?
It pains me
The pain that your so far away
Only way to see you these days
Is by your fake happy face online
It’s all fake
I know it
And I want you to reveal to me
What’s wrong
Because you’re my friend
My best friend

Hello again
How are you?
Thanks for meeting me again
It feels like old times
Thanks for inviting me back into your life
Thanks for showing me your new self
I'm glad I was able to show you mine
I'm glad we were able to laugh like old times
When it was just you making fun of me
When it was me sending sarcasm your way
When we pushed all the bad demons away
To be dumb and young together
Before we diverge into the big bad world

You were in a different world for a long time
You were in a different life for a long time
You still are
You always will be
But yet you came back
You reached for my hand
You reached for my mind again
Wanting to see my thoughts
To find any way to fix my bad cracks
To let me fix yours
We talked
And talked, talked, and talked
Smiled, made me laugh
Called me cute names
Made me feel special again
Turned my tears into laughs
But suddenly you disappear
You go back to your own world
Leaving me on my own
When I needed you the most

Day after month after 1 year
All the same
Walking on egg shells
Waterfalls forming on my face
Never coming home
I have everything
But feel nothing
Breath quickens its step
Every step I take when going home
Afraid of making mistakes
Afraid of showing who I am
Afraid of my identities real emotions
Bad thoughts coming back
The knife coming back
My body in danger
Need to hide
Need someone
Need to feel again

What is your deal?
Controlling everything you touch in your path
Controlling my decisions
Everyone's decisions
Changing courses
Not letting the perfect plan come to task
You take my time by going too fast
You make me feel down when you go too slow
Can't you stay at one speed?
Can't you let me go out and climb a mountain?
Can't you let me do my homework for 36 hours?
Can't I sleep?
Can't I see my friends?
Can't you just let me control my own destiny
Coordinate with me here
I can't be truly happy if you can't compromise with me

Hey! Ahole
Don’t you ever get in my face again
You’re just scared of me
You don’t understand
You don’t believe in what I believe in
That’s ok
But don’t push me down
Don’t choke who I am
Don’t punch my soul
Don’t called me a Holocaust attention *****
Ignorant Ahole
You don’t get the world
You’re moving backwards while I will move a million leagues ahead of you

Why am I like this?
Why was I born like this?
Late for understanding
Late for being human
Life keeping me back
While others move forward
My mind tries to think
My mind tries to learn
My mind is different
My mind was cursed
My mind will never run fast enough
My mind will always be the slowest
People say, "You're amazing"
"You're unique"
You're special
Brave
Strong
Creative
But are you though?
If I am, why am I slow?
Why does my brain trip, fall, and watch the others keep going?
Why was I born like this?

They all say
Actions have consequences
They keep talking
Telling me
Look what I’ve done
They yell
Shake me
Hit my brain
Try to wake me up
I’m awake
But I want to sleep
I hate standing in this moment
I want to walk to the past
To heal the mistake
So I can keep the one thing
That keeps me at peace

Stronger, sharper
That’s what I’ve become
Stronger, faster
That’s what Cappy’s become
Stronger, stronger
Faster, sharper
That’s what we’ve become
Dynamic Duo
Well Oiled Machine
On ground level we fight
But together we work in mid flight
Jumps getting higher
Muscles getting bigger
Minds combining into one thought
Loyalty becoming our strength
Each lesson challenges us
Each lesson we triumph
Always room to become better
Always striving for perfection
No such thing as perfection
We’re never perfect
But we’re always on fire

Blinds separate from each other
Light sneaks in
Touching the walls of my room
Touching my closed eyes
I open
Ruby red in my face
Brush it away to get a clear view
Of the eggshell ceiling I see everyday
I sit up
Stretch my sleeping bones
Telling them it’s time to work
Put on my blue headphones
That correspond with my ruby red hair
I let Imagine Dragons
Set it Off
Panic! At the Disco
Fall Out Boy
Play through my ears
My own personal concert
In my head
Where anything is possible
Door let’s the hall make a tiny entrance
Below is a beautiful creature who wants to snuggle
She jumps on my bed
Puts her paw on my hand
And licks my arm
Fur is black as night
Paws are white as snow
Eyes can’t beat the green of grass but try
Nice morning it is
Helps keep the bad demons away
From entering my peaceful space

Grandma
Now a hummingbird
You use your wings to soar around me
You could be anywhere
But you are here with me
To watch my every move
Do you enter my dreams and show me right?
Instead of wrong
Why do you show me my worst fears?
Is it a sign of future fortune?
Or a warning?
You never seem to rest
Your wings are stronger than a thousand planted volcanoes
Your colors transform you into a flying flower
Your determination and heart work together
To guide me on a journey
Towards what is eternally mine

Get up
Get up
I can’t
First 3 days
Sky goes to sleep
Tells me to fall into the rabbit hole
Takes my eyes away to sleep
Takes my mouth away for silence
Takes legs away to rest
Mind in an empty shell
Wondering what to think next
Falling deeper into the rabbit hole….
Last 3 days
Sky yawns at the dawn
Stretches its cloudy muscles and pulls the mind out
Gives my eyes back to view beauty again
Gives my mouth back to speak and sing my heart and soul
Brings my legs back to run, jump, and kick
Pushes me onto my magnificent, trusted, steed
Rushes me to drive to the ends of the earth
Always ready for a new adventure
The sky creates me each day
The sky kills me then brings me back to life
To remind me to believe anything is possible