She once waved white cloth but now,
Tears of blue satin fall,
As a girl who once smiled at life,
Cries with the pain of it all.

She once waved blue satin but now,
Drops of red velvet fall,
As a girl who once loved the world,
Sees the hatred that's found in all.

She once waved red velvet but now,
Rags of black silk fall,
As a girl who once had everything,
Begins to lose it all.

She once waved black silk but now,
She waves nothing at all,
As a girl who clung to emotions,
Lets go to watch them fall.

She once waved an empty hand but now,
Another's pulls her inside,
As a girl who sat on the edge of life,
Finds new hope in another's eyes.

He let go of all he cared for,
Let it fall to the ground,
In a desperate attempt to repay the favour,
That kept him safe and sound.

His hands now empty, unhindered,
He reached and offered support,
To a girl he could see had lost more than he dared to think of.

She accepted

He smiled

And both now wave together

Made stronger by fear and trust

Tired now,
Though it's not yet evening,
I might have to sleep,
Even if it means leaving.

I
Can't
Carry
On
Resisting

I
Can
Feel
It
Persisting

G­oodbye friends
I hope you're still here when I return

A boy leans against his door,
Torn by the grief and loss created by his own mind,
Tear stained cheeks that never knew a smile.

The boy falls to the floor,
The door is blocked by his own weight,
He is trapped by his body in a room cut off from kindness.

The boy hits his head against the wall,
In a futile attempt to escape this life,
His head begins to throb, a confused mess of screaming voices fill his ears.

Then one voice is clear,
Calling him,
Leading him,
He feels safe, sure, free,
He finds himself calling back,
"I trust you." He says, raising his eyes from the floor,
"I trust you," She replies, but that's not what he heard.
"Open the door," Is what he heard, words he'd never even considered.

He lifts himself up, and grabs for the lock,
With a moment of hesitation, he slides the bolt across.
But he can't bring himself to do it, he looks at the handle,
He puts his hand on it and tries to push down.

But his other hand stops him, grabbing at his wrist,
He is so close now, but he can't do it,
He takes two steps back, away from hope,
And the door swings wide open, light streams in,
With a smile she grabs his hand, and pulls him from his cell.

He sees an open door behind her, a room as dark as his,
"How did you get out?" He asks, she just laughs and squeezes his hand.
"One clear voice, calling, leading," She whispers in his ear,
"It told me to open the door."

Her rags become whole again,
As an ebony dress, beautifully woven,
Wraps around her frame.

Her cuts close, her bruises fade,
The aching pains that were her life have gone away,
Never to inflame.

Her boundaries are long gone,
As now she dances alone beneath the cold sun,
Of her empty world.

Her death is far behind her,
Only a distant memory remains of Earth,
As her wings unfurl.

*She flies, finally free,
But alone, her heart must freeze.

Told to look to the future,
But only seeing the past.
Told to keep moving on,
But always turning back.
Told that looks don't matter,
But judged on first impressions.
Told to be unique,
But forced into others' intentions.
Told to innovate,
But creativity shot down.
Told to be accepting,
But hated for praying aloud.
Told to be honest,
But fed the media's lies.
Told to love,
But watches as it dies.

So, are you happy now?
Pleased with what you've done?
Pressure, hate and prejudice,
Destroy the innocence of the young.

It seems we are all searching,
I have realised now, the heart demands love,
I had begun to think all my yearning,
Would never find the right person for me,
Yet a light, concealed at first, led my soul,
And at last, I can clearly see the path.

It seems we all need a path,
To bring reason to our endless searching,
Ev'ry breath and ev'ry step takes my soul,
Closer to the one who I know I love,
All I ask is that you would accept me,
And put an end to this constant yearning.

Ev'ry day that I'm yearning,
I keep losing sight of the only path,
I know that you've already rescued me,
But for some reason I still kept searching,
No! You're the only one I'll ever love,
For your perfect words have captured my soul.

I have but a single soul,
And for you it has always been yearning,
So take it's from me, take it all, my love,
And may it help guide you along your path,
Now that I've found you, I can stop searching,
All I can do now is pray you'll keep me.

Things always looked bleak for me,
Until you came and inspired my soul,
With brief hesitance, halted my searching,
Now realised,  you satisfy my yearning,
I'm sorry for making harder the path,
That caused us both to fall in blissful love.

After so long I've found love,
But had it not with such great force hit me,
Perhaps I would still be on the wrong path,
In truth I've no choice but to trust my soul,
But I would still choose to end this yearning,
I'd always find you through all my searching.

Perfect love has taken my soul,
Shown me a way out of this yearning,
On this path, there's no more searching.

And the worn corner of a textbook,
Blocks a few burning rays,
Building a citadel across,
The scratched surface of an unstable desk,
Gently rocking beneath my words,
That show themselves between feint ruled,
Lines of a notebook filled with,
Plans, pain and poems,
Abstract sketches of worlds I made and,
Shadowy drawings of what I,
Could, might, mustn't do,
Confessions to myself alongside,
Drafted chapters as yet undecided,
Unchecked, raw,
Seventy-two sheets not yet,
Filled with my written song,
Still not complete,
Like my jumbled thoughts which,
On occasion grace the page.

Would you smile if I said what is in my heart?
Would my words mean as much to you?
Would you hold my hands as tight as I yours?
Would you long for their warmth?
Would you dance if I asked you?
Would you let me lead you in grace?
Would you trust my judgement?
Would you hold me in your arms?
Would you love every second?
Would you feel lost when I had to go?
Would you count the days until our next meeting?
Would you check if I was okay?
Would your heart beat for mine?

I would for you, my dear,
Will you give me a chance?

Take my heart,
****** your fingers through my chest -
let them reach. Rip, pull,
tear aside my weary flesh.
Scratch my decaying ribs,
rotten and weak.
Just a sharp, swift tug,
and they snap. Blood leaks,
as you pierce the arteries,
that keep my lungs captive -
chaining them within me,
so that they cannot rest, active
always, slaves to reflex.
Let them be free, at last
unbound, let them relax,
deflate, give up the air of past
days that took too long.
Toss them aside,
Useless and frail, taking
up space in your unrelenting hands,
they keep digging, though aching
and tired of brutality. Hatred
that once coursed through my veins,
now spilled and taken,
for your deathly gains.
Finally, unobstructed, a clear path
to my heart now drained
of life-giving blood is revealed.
Wrap your pale, blood-stained
fingers around it and pluck
the tendons 'till they break.
Grip more tightly, grab, clutch,
****** it from me, still and motionless.
Hold it up to the light, let me see
with my dead, hollow eyes
as you crush it in front of me.

Take my heart.

Crush my heart.

Take my brain.

Twist my mind.

Sitting silently,
He sits and stares at his phone,
Shifting slightly,
He doesn't look up from his phone,
Coughing quietly,
He ignores me and looks at his phone,
A little louder,
He stays there slowly reading his phone,
Groaning with the pain,
He still remains there silently checking his phone,
Starting to bleed,
He raises an eyebrow at the screen of his phone that he studies so intently.
Feeling faint,
He sighs and looks at the clock before looking back down at the obviously intriguing phone in his hand.
Skin pale, vision blurred,
He chuckles to himself and takes a sip from the half-empty cup of tea at his side and scrolls with a single finger on the screen of his phone.
My voice is weak as I call out,
"Dad..."
For the last time the blade glides over my wrist.
He stares at his phone.

The rhythm hits me first,
Off-beat, syncopated, unpredictable,
Yet I find my foot tapping in perfect time,
My body synchronised with an ever-changing pulse.

Then the bass,
Driving, moving forward, eager,
I find my legs moving with it,
My body pulled by a promise of more.

Then the chords,
Dissonant, unresolved, uncertain,
Yet my ears enjoy every one,
My body desperate to understand the logic behind them.

Then the melody,
Haunting, minor, hesitant,
Yet my eyes are drawn to those that sing,
My body overwhelmed with bare emotion.

Then the lyrics,
Hopeful, free, safe,
And I find myself singing along,
To a song I didn't know, but that resonates in my heart.

She stands
Eyes down
She stares
Eyes down
The sea laps around her feet
Her eyes stay down
The waves kiss her ankles
She keeps looking down
Her hair blocks her view
She refuses to look away
A hand on her shoulder
She ignores it
Slowly it pulls her in to an embrace
She keeps looking down
His arms do not stir her
Eyes down
His lips on her forehead do not wake her from her trance
Eyes down
His whisper in her ear turns her gaze upwards
Eyes meet
Tears fall
Smiles share
"Together?"
"Together"

The old me dismayed,
Reaching, grasping for the knife,
The new me refuses.

I'm sorry soldiers,
For caring too much about ceremony and the 'Last Post'.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For forgetting the true meaning of all these parades and bugle calls.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For lying with everyone else saying 'We will remember'.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For wearing my poppy this year out of pressure, not respect.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For looking at your memorial and seeing only a piece of architecture.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For reading your names and not caring who you really are.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For thinking of you as foolish men, for obeying orders to the end.
I'm sorry soldiers,
For blaming you for your own demise.
I'm sorry soldiers,
That you had to go through such pain and difficulty only to be killed the next day.
I'm sorry soldiers,
That the rest of the world isn't.
I'm sorry soldiers,
That what you died to end never really stopped.
I'm sorry soldiers,
That I am alive through no act of bravery or skill but through luck.
I'm sorry soldiers,
That you were born at just the wrong time.

I'm sorry soldiers,
That this apology comes one hundred years too late,
But I think it's time someone said it,
So I'm sorry,
Can you ever forgive us?

A single candle glows,
In a shadowed room,
The warmth it gives out,
Does little against the gloom.

The flame has burnt for so long,
It's begun to feel the strain,
The wax and wick are burning low,
An end to light's long reign.

The feeble glow begins to die,
Reflected dimly in the glass,
Of windows showing only dark,
The final night at last.

It clings on for as long as it can,
Though by now weak and frail,
Its fuel is used up, no longer it shines,
And inevitably, it fails.

With a slow, painful splutter,
The flame flickers and fades,
The last light goes out,
Marking an end to these charades.

Amidst the screams and pain,
One innocent boy,
Tears on his face,
He did nothing to deserve.

And amidst the starving panic,
One dying girl,
All she ever knew,
Was how to hurt.

And amidst the desperate protests,
One person stood,
And somehow,
They changed the world.

One story,
That's all it took.

He lies awake,
Unfeeling, yet hurting,
Unseeing, but staring into the nothingness that surrounds him.
He remembers his mistakes,
He remembers his regrets,
And asks the dark to remain.

He lies awake,
Free and safe,
A smile on his lips, beaming through the nothingness around him.
He remembers his success,
He forgets what others said,
And forces the dark away.

He lies awake,
Trembling, but still,
Afraid, but reaching for the nothingness that’s bound him.
He awaits his demise,
He relives his loss,
And pleads the dark to let him stay.

He lies awake,
Relieved, but untrusting,
Abandoned by the nothingness that found him.
He remembers his mistakes,
He remembers his regrets,
And asks the dark for one last dance.

next to of course god america i
love you land of the free and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country no longer wants to go
on united but still divided into states
of disbelief in every colour not white or tanned
just sons deserve your glorious name but wait
by law by lord by list by land
why talk of brain when she could look prett-
ier than these bragadocius men
who rushed without thought to the race to grab
the prize that meant so much but not to them
who wore the voice of hate just cause it fit?

She spoke. And hid away her old now torn hijab.

Why do I always feel worst on the best days?

She's worrying and full of stress,
And perturbed by my voice,
She's failing to sleep over how I dress,
As if I have a choice,
She's 'scared' and 'confused' and 'losing hope',
"You're just confused or tying to cope."

or

She hates me for revealing my soul,
I'm wrong, too different inside,
Why can't I stick to my proper role?
"One or the other - decide,"
I'm messed up in the head, or acting or lying,
"It's too much for me, why are you crying?"

Which is worse?