Tell me again
How you think just like me
How you understand my philosophies
Listen so intently to my monologue
Nod in agreement, flatter my ideas
I enjoy the attention but hate the scent
Choking on sweat
As I'm wrestling and laughing and it's okay
Because it's platonic isn't it
I can lay and relax knowing
I trust you... 90%
And it's not like I can step back
Once I've revealed too much it's too late
And you've used all I've told you
To try to get inside
I've not lead you on, you're the one
******* out of my naivety
Using my open mind as your latrine
I liked the attention but I can't stand you
Now there's not a lot I can do
I sit chewing a stirring stick
As you shuffle in close and say creepy ****
They've done this before
I remember too well
They reach out to shake my hand
Building my trust
Like chameleons they share interests
With whomever they lurk around
So I talk and I talk and I touch then they touch
And it's like, wait, stop
This wasn't what I want
And they never shut up and they pry and they ask
With an arm around my stiffened shoulder
And I'm choking on sweat
I hate the attention and you disgust me
**** being polite, you're simply awful
You're a snivelling ******, a greasy neckbeard

Portable Pocket Pal
Thorough Therapist
Frisky Fun Friend
Jiggling Jolly Joystick
Whirring Widget of Wonder
Rascal Rabbit
Rest Restorer
Lapine Lover
Uplifting Utensal
Tingly **** Tickler
Noisy Naughty Novelty
Ecstacy Accessory Activating
Nerves and Neurons
Funny ******* Fizzer
Feeling Fantastic Falling
Into Sirene Still Sleep

Foam frankenstein monsters with binbag capes
Bed sheet ghosts and DIY devils
All half-arsed make-up and that same plastic nose
Used for the warty witch costume over and over
Since 14 years or so ago
Us bin liner clad kids with time running out
Scout for houses with jack-o-lanterns
When we chant trick or treat we hope for a sweet
Though old biddies keep stickers letting us know
We're not welcome
And the clock is ticking we go home before 9
And end this ritual at age 12
As long as you have a family in tow
Can you call the day festive at all
But the TV still boasts of a spooky halloween
Wild parties, confectionary and ghosts
Yankee sitcoms show specials every week!
Their customs are elaborate and serious
Costumes take months of foreplanning
And houses are strewn with statues and skulls
Front garden diaramas could rival
Dickensian Christmas back home
Kids and teens are promised sacks of treats
Twinkies, hersheys and candy corn
And you don't get headmasters
Warning children against bugging old ladies
Because halloween is for all ages!
Not just kids in binbags and a plastic false nose

Remind me with a stern voice
How liberal and open you are
Implying I should be thankful
You put up with me at all
Verbal diarrhea
About how you worry
But there's no concern for me
Only the reminder of what you conviently
Forget to see

I'll be showered with compliments
As long as the aesthetics fit
What you planned for me
You'll hide your distaste behind
Tateless humour
Question your past life decisions
With peppering of nervous laughter
I'm a lot to deal with for you
And for him
How could I be so insensitive!?

I can't tell you anything
I learned that long ago
But still I get inspired to try
To break the fear that if I live
My life where you can see
I'll be in big trouble
You assume your world is safe
Once I've back pedalled some more
But act so **** surprised
That when I moved out, I moved up

And I'm more than convinced the only thing
That needs strapping down is your mouth
Because you're talking ****
I'm sick of hearing this
That same old story about how you dreamed
Of how your daughter would look
So unlike you and your hang-ups
Is this all you birthed me for?

You don't honestly believe I'll get cancer
Or break my ribs
You're just scared that what you guessed
About your brood was true all along
So unorthodox are we not?
Half these chaotic genes are yours
So man up for once! (Besides, I do...)

I wear lipstick with my tuxedo
I wear bowtie with my hairbow
Some days my ******* are buxom
Though many they're strapped in mesh
Supressed is my rounded femininity
Sweeped under the rug is past girlhood
Unwanted mound of maternity
I wouldn't mind a beard instead
Manspreading on the bus, outstretched legs
Feeling the confidence ooze from within
From the change of garment, air of authority
Spills fourth from the man inside me
Dresses and skirts look pretty, sometimes I even drape
My frame with enhancing, bright jewelry
But they make no difference, really
It is tempor'y and I soon feel exposed
As the naked woman I would be
Like a secret only revealed to lucky few
Behind shirt, tie and shiny shoe
I am woman and I am man
I am anyone, and no one
I am she I am he, it, they
Ambivilence dressed up in a girl's name
My skirt means nothing, my long hair a decoy
For today as was yesterday, I'm basically a boy

Like hypnic jerks in the night
You hit me with the resonance
Took my thoughts and worded them
In a way I understood

I look forward to sleeping
Anticipating dreaming
I love how things are quite bizarre
But I question nothing
I adore when noone makes sense
When I'm taken on quests, through old schools
Scary dreams, ridiculous dreams, unfathomable
The weirdest, or mundane, the creepy and the insane
I like dreams where I leave confused
The scenarios most unsettling
They are exciting, give me stories to tell
I awake and all is well

But apart from the scary and disturbing
There is another kind of dream, most distressing
The true nightmares I find, are not of psychadelia or ghouls
The greatest, most wonderful, beautiful and soothing dreams
Are those that are the worst
They tease you with your wants, and humour your deepest needs
Love, old friendships since lost, dream jobs, a self transformed
I had one not so long ago, animals this time
A magical turn of events, sense of touch the most vivid yet
I felt soft spidery arms that hugged me tight
This was gonna be a good night

This is a nightmare, for I know
that when I awake I will feel kinda low
Too angered and irrate, I'd hoped for once my brain
Wouldn't tantalise me so
I drop my head back onto the bed
Close my eyes tight as I can
Take me back to where I left off!
The baby will wonder where I've gone!

The dreams of monsters, fears and death
Are quite entertaining when I think about them
They are not bad dreams
I awake bemused, and yes, a little disturbed
But it's the good dreams
They are the ones that hurt

I've been waiting for you
I pulled you in instantly
Like a magnet
You can't wait to learn
Run home and tell them who you found
You welcome me in
Even though novelty fades
The candle flickers

My intentions were good
And then you borrowed my name
I never meant to touch
Your self image like I had
My intentions are good
I always want to be there
Rub the sleep from your eyes
We're two halves of the same heart

Late night panic attack
4am you're still awake
It was me that sang you to sleep
My face spoke to your dreams
I made my home in your mind
Though you love me you hate
The feeling I tease you with
You just want to live with me
You could've been me

My intentions were good
And you fell back trustingly
I never meant to touch
Your self image like I had
My intentions are good
I only want to be friends
Wakeup, smell the coffee
We're two halves of the same mind

It's safe to cross the bridge
Though the planks bend and brake
I'm shrieking from the river
Life's greener in the south!
Hold my hand and grip tight
We'll climb 30 feet high
Your voice is hoarse from shrieking
As we say our goodnight

The thirst for knowledge is never quenched
Like cola only makes you dryer
As I chug chug chug at the information
Ask a question replied with another
A fractal of thought spinning deeper and deeper
I'm feeling a little off kilter
Looking for the nails to pin me down
But still I dither and waver
On this binge of learning about others, myself
Research and collect, discuss and reflect
Picking up the dust from other's experience
So similar to my own
Makes me question everything I believe
And everything I know

When I was younger
My whole world was mermaids
Every hour of every day
Seaweed braided hair and scales  
I'm gliding through the house
In slow motion, waving my arms about
Under the sea as long as I'm aware
Even now when I swim I transport myself
To blue tropical seas in which my childhood dreams
Let themselves flow free
I was a mermaid growing up
It taught me how to swim
Out of the need to be what I mimed
In the bath every evening
Self taught in my teens, better late than never
My only inspiration for fitness
The mermaid, my own self portrait
Re-imagined

My hair is a mop hanging over my crown
The shade of standard mammalian brown
I am envious of your tresses
Over your face is a redheaded swirl,
Gradating into your dreadlocked shawl
Tendrils of auburn drag along the floor like a high wizard’s gown
If I had your hair I would knot each section into braids
Weave it with bobbles and beads
I could take a curler to my cape, straighteners to my legs
I’ve always been a fan of the redhead, pre-Raphaelite waves
Reds and yellows and oranges cascade
You take it to another level though, and boy
It is most enviable!
I would ask that we swap, but with my fur pattern you’d look quite odd
With a blackish flannel hanging on your head
And the odd patch of wiry moss 'tween your legs
And I must say I would look a bit daft
With a crimped ginger trench coat swamping my back!
So I shall just say, Mr. orang-utan
Your hair is great!

You’re no feline, dear, trust me
Your reactions are slow like your atrophied body
You’re no kitty cat, love, you see
I wouldn’t want to pet you if you met me in the street
Mr Husky your pecs don’t impress me
Replaced with saggy ****, no time for self-preservation
Only the perseveration of the image in text

In the age of technology
The geek inherits the earth
In this world where weirdoes aren’t so
And crazy cat ladies are beacons of sanity
I’m always the type to be pushed into fringes
****** through the vortex of the obscure
Fandoms, fantasies and ideas of the crazy

You call yourself a fox? You show no cunning
Only a disdain for the “mundane”, contrived pedantry and cynicism
My otter friend, can you even swim?
And I never knew owls were supposed to have *******
But here I am, I can’t complain
Partaking in the art of the insane
There’s no harm in pretending, it’s only a game
Reality is ******* boring, and life’s a *****
So don those ears and pretend you’re thin!

You know you’re no **** wolf-man
I can see your ribs lad! I swear,
Human hippopotamus are preposterous
And what sort of a monkey are you??
But what of it, let’s just throw a **** party!