Preston Gearin
Preston Gearin
2 hours ago

I'm depressed, the lesson I learned about
Life is that it's hell in its essence.
I don't wanna live wanna leave all this
And escape from the present.
I look in the mirror and just see a mess.
It's getting clear, perhaps it's for the best
To disappear and fade away all my fear;
Share it all with the rest of those
Who appear to illuminate by their presence.

Called Satan and left him a message, nobody's there.
I would leave a voicemail but I know you won't answer my prayers.
You're a good for nothing one way road to despair,
The sole reason we believe that life isn't fair,
And if it was just my suffering I'd scream into your burning eyes that I don't care!

But I do.
I'm not the only person in existence.
See, there's also you.
Waiting around without a clue as to what we should do,
Just like me,
And it seems that no one can see it through.
Like find meaning in life and acquire proven truth,
we are doomed into an unsolvable mystery.
Most may mistake it as revolving of misery.  
How can we not?
All we do is suffer, cause pain to each other,
decompose the composure of life, grow old and just rot?
Oh what an ungodly, revolting thought!
How could our solving of existence lead to such insulting naught?
Let us then burn all of what ancient texts have  taught us and then- what?

There's no concrete answer for the endless eager mind,
But indeed, there can be deeper understanding in what we want to find.
In fact it's within your perception that you must refine,
A victim of deception is not someone anyone should confide in.
When only the darkest pages of life are the ones which he's highlighted,


The nature of emotion is to juxtapose;
A contrasting height for our deepest lows.
Can't be happy without a wrenching pain I suppose,
And that's no truth that a cynics brain can expose,
I know this.
Yet this is a concept that everyone can't help but notice,
While still putting in no effort to try and show it.
People love their pity parties I suppose,
And I've learned it's not worth the effort that it
Takes to force another person to grow,
In cases such as those,
All one can do is inspire others with the radiation of your inner glow.

1 day ago

She lives life in service to love.
Look deep into her eyes and you’ll see a reflection of yourself,
of all that’s good in humanity; her sweet angel eyes reflect the skies, the oceans.
Her eyes are as deep as the brown roots of the ancient trees that dig deep
and deep down underneath the Earth’s core.
What you see is a woman with a heart of gold, hair made of silk from a web and hair in the shape of tendrils form a leafy green stem, with a laugh like God.
She is pure yin -- one of the two forces that together with yang forms everything that exists and will. Yet, one eye is the moon and the other eye is the sun -- one of spirit and one of flesh.
Her physical body is in sin, in harsh imperfect reality.
Her soul is in purity, in deep-sea fantasies.
So selfless, so passionate, so pensive. All she wants is to serve everyone
for her inner joy and peace comes from the selfless love and acts she perform.
The ultimate lady, the ultra-feminine creation.
So ethereal, so otherworldly, so alien.
Every time she speaks, I believe in God a little bit more. She is a Goddess,
the ultimate creatrix. Tiamat.
I should’ve worshiped her sooner.

ok im done for today
1 day ago

I light my incense
and light my candles in a hazy daze.
If we were made in his image,
then call us by our names.
We are not gods and we are not close to it
but animals fear us like we are.
I was born in the water,
where the sea split so I could breathe.
I pray you don’t have to cut my time short.
The universe is in tune with me
and the Heavens are cheering me on;
my body moves in fluid motions.

it could all be so simple
1 day ago

please god i beg of you
let this man find out who you are.
he's searching, he's searching.
he's searching for science
and he's searching for you.
no matter where he's gone,
he looks for you, he looks for you
in the wrong places.
let him see your creation,
let him ponder over these.
let him see mother nature,
let him ponder over her.
no matter where life takes him,
he's searching and he's searching
for you in the wrong places.

this world won't bring me down
1 day ago


I’ve found God somewhere out there far out in the ocean,
waiting patiently and he feels bittersweet about what you speak;
his feet are getting cold.
God has this set date and time and when he is ready
the sea will split, thunder will boom, and fire will breathe.
His scent lingers and he follows me around. He understands that
my mind still says redundant things and he still loves that part of me.
God is nicer than you think.
I’ve had a conversation with God. He told me all about his favorite
types of lilacs and waterlilies. Realistically, I couldn’t leave then.
You know, once I tried to fight but the first time I lost.
The second fight was backed by God and I had his blessing.
Is that not proof enough?
It’s real, it’s solid.
I’ve found God and he is out there deep within space.


Dry skin and cracked lips,
watery eyes and seduction.
Thoughts of the world’s showy things
gush into my head but I will not let
these things take me away; my heart
skips a beat when I see you.
Your face looks incredible and where
is your mind? Where is your heart?
It’s somewhere and I see you swimming
to retrieve them. But it’s not with
God. And if it’s not with God I will not
let the deluge of love capture my soul.
God’s anger flares and his wrath begins to show
as I disobey him for another time.
I run away from home and I bring
my backpack and my journal,
and I hop onto my bike and pedaled
faster than before.
Where is my mind? Where is my heart?
For these things are not with God.
Where did my eyes roam?
Where did my soul go?
For these things are not with God.
I let those former things take me away.
And now I need God to dive back into me,
and to save me from this catastrophe.
When I prayed that night
on the cold bench,
I knew he’d swim halfway if I’d swim halfway.
Faith without works is dead.
I dove into him and
God rolled his eyes back into his head
to pretend it never happened.


I’ve found God but you don’t care.
You say that when we kill we go back in time
to a time we weren’t born in
You say our veins run backwards
and we don’t see in color anymore.
But when the sun goes down,
our brains transforms and we think and question.
You tell me God’s not winning and the Flying Spaghetti Monster
and Cthulu seems plausible.
You wouldn’t believe this but I know God’s name.
I promise you I know his name.
Jehovah sees us. He wants us to prosper and he wants us to flourish.
There’s just simple commandments we have to stroll by.
They aren’t hard, our obstacles make it hard.
I want to answer your questions because I have the answer.
You wouldn’t believe this but I’ve found the truth
and I’ve found God. His word was inspired by him and I’m sorry
that you can’t comprehend it.
But I’ve found God, not in me nor for myself,
but for all of us. He is what we cannot understand
because we physically cannot grasp the notion
of something so mighty; we weren’t made to understand him.
But I’ve found God.

yeah, i've found god for all of us. leave your opinions and whatever facts you want. i won't mind, we're all diverse enough so please, let us have these opposing opinions or the same opinions because it's okay. i don't believe we're all the same, i don't care. we're individuals and we're different. make yourself stand out and shine, don't get trapped in this solipsistic and existentialist view of the world and of who we are. don't let it suck the joy out of you because that is what it will do. it will tear you to pieces and lick you and feel you up. it won't be nice.

My mind finds itself trying to meet yours again.
Every time our minds meet,
I can't help but want to introduce myself to you again,
because every time we speak,
I make a new discovery about you
and all that is beautiful about the world.

My thirst for a spiritual connection has me addicted to your presence
and I am assured of the fact that
God does really exist
because you are exactly who I've been praying for...
You are my light.

I cannot begin to wonder what a marvel your mind finds itself lost in,

"I stopped looking for the light,
I became it" was my driving force for the longest time,
probably when I sought to have this light shine upon someone's life.
I guess you were that someone
and the universe knows why you caught a glimpse of my rays when you did.

The universe within me,
resonates through you,
that's how I got to realise how the world isn't as twisted as we make it out to be,
as the most beautiful parts of this world
are only buried in the hearts that await to connect with another...
On a level of spirituality that can only be explored and understood mutually.

All I've ever sought from this world,
all that's ever been missing in my life,
I've found in the peace that is borne of your name...

'Xola' is a Xhosa name, which means 'to be at peace' or 'remain peaceful'.

Through the teachings of Eckhart Tolle's "The Power Of Now" and realising the beauty of allowing the teachings to manifest in one's life, the beauty of sharing in this with an individual that is on a journey of enlightenment along with you, makes it such a worthwhile venture.
7 days ago

I found God
In the gaze of my lover
As we lay still on the water
In the stupor of fear

I found God
When I fled alone to discover
I was trapped with no other
Until he appeared

I found God
In my haggard reflection,
Torn dress by the ocean
Wondering if I was in the clear

I found God
Watching lost men die free,
Succumbing to clarity
Thinking my time was near

I found God
When I lost all hope
My heart was breaking on the waves
And I didn't know how to steer

I found God
In a longing embrace
Finally feeling in my place
Knowing our time was now and here

Insp. by Strange Cargo  (1940)

I wonder
Why God bothered creating Humanity.......
A Species that would end up destroying
So, much Biodiversity?
Was God out of his/her mind
Creating  a species,
Which is too intelligent for its own good?

Fall in love with the Beloved FIRST.
Then, you can reduce your expectations
Of all the Human Beings
To love.

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