"winced" poems
you didn’t like the way i answered the phone,
and you thought it was gross that i liked mushrooms on my pizza,
and you told me i was weird-looking when i was a kid,
and once i sent you a tattoo and you said you didn’t like it, you didn’t know they were my words that were written on her body
you told me what “too much damage” meant on halloween after all the trick-or-treaters had fallen asleep
and when i kept silent for three days after,
and winced at every kissing scene on television, because they flooded the insides of my eyelids with images that made me feel very small,
you said i was being unfair
because i was the one who decided we were just friends,
and i told you we weren’t, you knew we weren’t
we couldn’t be after what we used to be
i told you i still had feelings that hadn’t gone away yet,
you said they hadn’t gone away for you either
i pictured you holding my hand
but then you said,
“that’s why it’s easier to run from them
and hide in other girls beds.”
you always told me every thought
that popped into your head, and i used to find it endearing,
i kept telling myself that you deserved my ear,
but i really hope you have nothing more to say
because, i promise, i’m done listening
so clear off your bedside table, and cut the
blue string that’s wrapped around your wrist if you’ve yet to do so,
and stop asking me if i miss you,
because this is me saying
i don’t.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 10:12 PM UTC
he’s telling me about the girl at school
he can’t get out of his head,
and how he feels like
it’s always this chain of
"i don’t want all these people that want me,"
(i winced)
“and the one person i want doesn’t want me
in the same way.”
(i inhaled sharply)
i told him he’s overthinking it,
and when he asked, “how do you not?”
(i forgot to breathe)
my eyes got watery, but i blinked quickly
before they could settle
(i exhaled)
and replied,
“i'll let you know.”
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 2:59 PM UTC
“T'was the night before Christmas ...”
and Santa was busy.
The reindeer were antsy
the elves in a tizzy.
The missus was tending
the ovens like mad
And turning out cookies
to make children glad.
The wood chips were flying
the sawdust was thick
The workshop was bulging
with toys from St. Nick.
Contractors from Sega,
Nintendo and Sony
Were working on games
(and a robotic pony).
Iphones and Ipads
(with virus removal)
Were packed in their boxes
and stamped "Elf Approval".
Last minute touches
were added with flair
While elf stylists tended
to Santa's white hair.
Elf tailors were making
some last alterations
To Santa's red coat
and his waist tribulations.
The weather was fair
as the weather-elf stated
The routes were approved
and departure was slated.
Bells had been polished
and harnesses buffed
While repairs were addressed
for the hoofs that were scuffed.
The antlers were festooned
with ribbons and bells
And the reindeer were covered
with elf flying spells.
The clock approached
midnight as Santa was seated.
The countdown began
as the flight crew was greeted.
H-hour neared
and the tension was growing.
Outside it grew cloudy
and then, began snowing.
But Santa just grinned
as the weather-elf winced.
"Don't worry, my friend.
Our time has commenced."
For the weather was nothing
to Santa's conveyance.
His reindeer and sleigh
were immune to"delay-ance".
With a whirl of his whiskers
and a flick of his wrist
The reindeer were launched
in a flash of white mist.
And I heard him exclaim
through his teleport ray:
"ALERT TSA. Tell 'em
I'm on my WAY!"
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 9:27 AM UTC
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is ****** but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
5.6k
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is ****** but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
5.3k
609
I Years had been from Home
And now before the Door
I dared not enter, lest a Face
I never saw before
Stare solid into mine
And ask my Business there—
“My Business but a Life I left
Was such remaining there?”
I leaned upon the Awe—
I lingered with Before—
The Second like an Ocean rolled
And broke against my ear—
I laughed a crumbling Laugh
That I could fear a Door
Who Consternation compassed
And never winced before.
I fitted to the Latch
My Hand, with trembling care
Lest back the awful Door should spring
And leave me in the Floor—
Then moved my Fingers off
As cautiously as Glass
And held my ears, and like a Thief
Fled gasping from the House—
4.3k
When I was 5 I wanted to be a doctor
Until I realized I cried every time I needed a shot
Winced when I saw someone fall
And wanted to ***** when I saw blood.
When I was 7 I wanted to be a veterinarian
Until I realized I was more connected to animals
Than I was to humans
And I cried every time my dog so much as limped.
When I was 10 I wanted to be a teacher
Until I realized I could never let my students go
And would be too concerned about what they’re going through
That I wouldn’t even know what to teach them.
When I was 13 I wanted to be a lawyer
Until I realized I shook every time something bad happened
And if I ****** at arguing with my brother
How could I argue for someone’s future?
When I was 15 I wanted to be a CEO
Until I realized people would have to know my name
And I’d have to tell them what to do
When I didn’t even know what I was doing.
When I was 17 I wanted to be an author
Until I realized I couldn’t even read my own work
Let alone let my family and friends read it
Let alone let strangers read it.
When I’m grown up
All I really want to be
Is so content with where I’m at
That I don’t need to look too far in the future.
When I grow up
I just want a roof over my head
A job I love
And a family that loves me.
When I grow up
I don’t care what I’m doing
Or where I am
As long as I’m happy.
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 12:20 AM UTC
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head. is ****** but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
2.7k
∙∙∙◦◦•◎•◦◦∙∙∙
Seems to be a strange day
a cold in the breeze
in the months of May
screeching’s of the door
a mist at the windows
broken pane
The room was lonely
as the leaves, out whirling
a thump at the ceiling top,
rolling, shackling
like those ogling cats
for a savoring mouse
From an ominous weather
to the whispering waters
a crack brought my most
—attention
uncanny things lurking
came falling within
*I saw streamers
faking shimmers
I saw glitters
but aren't gold
I saw diamonds
yet it wasn't snow*
A strong wind gushing
hoist the storm came
toiling, warping
heaven and earth
were felonious, winced
and everything was settled
Crystal drops touching
the tender heart abrupt
shattered glass striking
a sorry won't be sought
memories engrave nothing
flagrant it is to mend
Crystal drops falling
true friends come for once,
an astral to a feeling
stalwart is to be keeping
till when, twas its end
and all of this begins again
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017 at 10:12 AM UTC
they packed a patchy satchel
with enough snacks
to feed a child army
of two,
trekked though
green-blue forest
spackled with firefly flecks
and second hand moss.
came to a resting spot
on the shores of Mirror Lake
the one place
picnic tables were not
and they ate
in the jagged reflection
of solemn pine trees
he mumbled 12 years of secrets
through a confession booth
of nougat
spat out the seeds
winced at black jelly beans
and she
rested on his knobby knees
sighing with the breeze
face upturned to catch
downward droplets of moonbeam
he was a half-formed pinecone
dangling in the quiet dark
she was some kind of meadow lark
whistling the dawn
no one forgot love after that
no one could remember
what lonely tasted like
anymore.
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013 at 4:39 PM UTC
I could feel the cool damp air from outside
A gentle weight on the skin, a particular smell
The smell of a night stretched on too long
I tiptoed across the carpeted floor boards
The house was old and I knew it well
Every little area it would groan and creek
I was moving slowly but urged myself faster
This wasn't like other nights, half asleep
Wandering to the bathroom at the end of the hall
No, the house is empty, or should I dare say was
I felt a presence so strong, yet undefinable
As if something was nearly upon me, only breaths away
I avoided deftly the creaky areas of the floor beneath
I felt the give of the wood beneath me as I reached the stairs
This would prove far more difficult to be silent for
Standing at the top I contemplated running down
As fast as my legs could possibly carry me
Somehow though I knew it wasn't the right choice
As I made my first step down there was silence
I breathed in a sharp silent breath of composure
Continuing to the second step, I winced as I heard a creek
But I stopped and lightly tested the step again
The sound hadn't been caused by me
Quickly my vision darted upwards towards my room
At the far end of the hallway where I had just left
I saw something, a blur like a thick vapor
The shadow black wall behind obscured it
I had no time to peer into the darkness
I sped up, step by step by step
31 steps in total all without a sound
Save for the floor I landed on in my haste
The old house groaned beneath my weight
My neck chilled as I gave in and ran
to be continued...
Nov 5, 2023
Nov 5, 2023 at 9:28 AM UTC
she awoke
in the duskiest night
in the ever-shrinking
embrace of the light
tore at the metal,
that blameless steel
(winced as her teeth forgot to feel)
nails meet gums, and gums won't heal
nail beds make contact with rubber and blood;
veins escape skin, then unleash to flood
fingertips betray goosebumps
and you call this love?
one morning
mama had
a nasty surprise
her sweet little angel
was filled up with lies
lash to lids,
blood covered her eyes
and all that remained of her braces
were flies.
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014 at 8:37 AM UTC
"Oh!"
Signal from wound to brain
Pain from lips to ears
Feet shuffle and stop
Water runs and ceases
Red drops on silver
Light bouncing off
Eyes winced
Fingers squeeze slice
To the bathroom
In the cabinet
Out comes a bandage
Over it wraps
Heart still racing
Blood still pumping
Pain still present
Raw pulsation
Rough sensation
Pure frustration
Mar 4, 2012
Mar 4, 2012 at 2:09 AM UTC
They looked behind the mushroom
Turned every leaf over to inspect
Gathered all the little people in a row
every bird, the mice, each little insect.
"Have you seen the Easter eggs" they were asked
They all smiled and said of course not.
Someone knew where they were
The Elf walked the ranks like a Sergeant Major
Looking for a sign on their polka faces.
No, they knew nothing, Of course they did.
"Where is the Easter Bunny" the Elf cried.
"Bring the fellow here to me!"
The Bunny with guilt written across his face
shiffled forward passing the basket to the
ladybird as he presented himself to the Elf.
"Nothing to declare, you Majesty" said the Bunny
"Dont get funny with me" suggested the Elf
I can smell a plan a mile away Sunny Jim"
The insects giggled a bit under their breath
as the Elf frog marched towards them
"Know something do we" ..then the birds laughed.
They laughed so much the fell over.
The Magpie stood firm and confronted the Elf
"We know nothing" and burst into uncontrollable laughter.
The Elf failed to see the funny side and winced.
The Ladybirds had giggled their spots off
The Butterfly was whizzing in circles dreaming
Then it was spotted. The basket had been spotted.
Crammed with Easter Eggs and delights.
And it had one wish. To everyone. It said
"Happy Easter". It did.
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 10:19 PM UTC
DURING THIS VISIT
I am a layman laid up
with a very dodgy ankle
that winced about Paris
for almost a week with
every footaghhhhhhhfall.
Now it's the A&E;
for me.
The electronic noticeboard
flashes up its what nots
faster than I
can scan.
I barely catch CQC
Good( shadow )Rating.
Two wheelchairs
(peopleless)
chat about the this of that
typical wheelchair chit-chat.
A portable X-ray machine
pretends to be a giraffe.
"oooooOOOOK...we are going to get
Geoff the Giraffe to have a look at that!"
The child smiles
through the pain.
The screen peppers me
with possibilities.
Extremely likely?
Neither Likely nor Unlikely?
Etc., etc., etc.
My mind opts for
a simple I Don't Know.
"Breast." says the screen."
"Max Fax & Orthodontics."
"Re-hab shouldn't be boring!"
A questionnaire asks me
to think.
Big mistake.
I start to think.
Pain & Boredom
turns these hospitalised facts
( what ever they mean? )
into a something only
my brain can understand.
"And now, straight in at No.!
with a fantastic new single it's...
...Max Fax & The Orthodontics
with the glorious bouncy
BREAST!"
"MORTALITY by
The Upper Quartile
falls down one place to
No. 2!"
My shadow is feeling
very poorly at this
instant
in time.
Hasn't even bothered
to turn up.
There goes my good
(shadow)rating.
I think I'll switch
to silhouette instead.
I practice my Ogham.
SAT 4 APRIL
says the clock.
It's hands joined
together in prayer.
I switch
off my mind &
float
down
stream.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 7:22 PM UTC
What good can come from words of mine,
In open, blank or crafted rhyme;
Could they affect a single mind,
And if so, for how long a time.
If my heartaches touched you
Because of what you read,
I know you understand
My truth needs to be said.
If what you read
Brought pallid tears
Over your quick and dead;
Or the words I chose to write my lines
Cast shadows before your blocked sunshine;
Or wrote good and bad of family and friends,
Of our descents and our ascends,
Or a general lack of recompense,
I truly make amends.
If you felt shame or remorse,
Don't rue the day you read my verse.
(You see, I concur with your every curse)
But if you winced or held a giggle,
Rolled your eyes at some recognition
Of our shared quixotic plight,
Then I'm pleased to get it right.
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 9:12 AM UTC
I did not think those words you said
Would make me feel this sad
Or that confirmation of what I already knew
Could hurt my heart so bad
I guess I blinded myself
Out of fear for misery
It was easier saying I believed you
Than to stand ground and disagree
Plus putting you down for past mistakes
Would not help the situation
Degrading wouldn't decrease disappointment
Only increase aggravation
You do not need to hide the past
Heard you mumble words you will not repeat
"I'll never cheat and hurt you again"
I did not even miss a beat
I winced slightly though you did not see
Luckily we were joined by phone
It suffocated my grieving heart
I kept my hurt feelings unknown
It was hard keeping my voice even
Harder to focus on yours
I pondered ***** details
Many possibilities explored
I've been aware of your disloyalty
For some time now
Yet tore heart more than expected
Hearing it spoken aloud
Pretended not to notice
Told myself I did not care
Your friendship is too dear to me
To lose over an old affair
I think of all that we have been through
Indiscretions I chose to let slide
The lying, betrayal, and pointless games
Trying though hard to put the past aside
Leave your mistakes, and mine behind
Believing it is possible to change
No matter how I wish you to
Only my head has been rearranged
It was I who wanted to know the truth
It sounds different than I thought it would
Discovering getting what you wished for
Does not always feel that good.
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 2:28 PM UTC
The barrel rested
between his eyes,
against his nose.
his eyes were closed.
he never dared to breathe.
he just listened.
with every shot,
earth shattering boom,
he winced.
the bodies of brothers
friends and strangers
surrounded him in bits.
and in one weak moment
of prayer,
of desperation,
he wanted his mother.
and the last thing he heard
was the shot meant for him.
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010 at 6:06 PM UTC
It was dawn when I awoke,
And felt for your arms usually close,
And frowned when I found only bed sheets
Where your body should have been.
It took only a second for the panic to hit,
For my heart to sink and skip a beat,
For my thoughts to drift back to yesterday,
And wonder if I had somehow pushed you away.
The whisper of a voice reached me first,
Laced in an accent that was entirely yours,
As you tiptoed around our messy nest,
Careful, as to not disturb my rest.
Then the smell of bait and coffee reached my nostrils,
Unexpectedly, making my forehead wrinkle,
As you stifled an early-morning yawn,
And I shifted and pretended to sleep on.
You took a minute to fix your hook,
Sat down to lace your boots,
Picked up your fishing tools from the floor
And made your way towards the front door.
I winced at every departing steps,
As the floorboards sighed in protest,
But instead you tiptoed to my side of the bed
And placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
And just like that I forgot about my worries,
All of yesterday’s bad memories,
And smiled as you left the room.
I wondered if you somehow knew,
Of my breaking dawn blues.
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
the sky was grey and i couldn't feel my body.
my head was heavier than suburban slammed doors,
and the presence of sidewalk strangers
sent trembles of panic through to my core.
my ears are already pierced,
but i winced at high school football whistles
and garbage trucks
and rattling engines
and raised voices.
do you remember the museum?
do you remember burying your head in your dad's shoulder
because the world they warned you about
was too grey for your hazel eyes and golden soul?
don't forget.
it is not a world you have to live in.
you must not find safety in greyness.
there is none for you there
Nov 20, 2021
Nov 20, 2021 at 1:36 PM UTC
Your voice,
It echoes through my head
like a broken recorder,
banging the insides with,
"change,
change,
change..."
I,
did not fit.
So,
I twisted my limbs and
squashed my head
to fit into your little mould.
Umpteenth effort;
days of churning and weeks of wringing.
I,
winced in pain and groaned in despair.
The crucifixion happened as,
I,
heard me snap.
Now it chews on my skin
and clings onto my flesh,
as if it was all tailor-made beforehand.
I stride towards you with assurance
that now,
I am perfect.
That now,
maybe you'll love me more.
But,
you looked at me
with a gaze so familiar
that it pierces my heart
into crumbs that resemble oatmeals and dust.
You said,
"you've changed".
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 12:58 PM UTC
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is ****** but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
1.5k
It was raining hard outside and a cold wind was blowing briskly from the north. I ducked under the outside awning of a local bar named Easy Pete's but still felt the torrent of raindrops crashing into me.
I opened the heavy bar room door and walked inside to a dimly lit room accented with the sound of pool tables being played, gambler chatter, and thick cigar smoke. My eyes winced at the sting of smoke and adjusted to the lack of light. I looked around but did not note much outside of the elderly somewhat disgruntled faces either looking at me, their drink, or their games.
The jukebox played an old song that I could not place but had the vague notion that it existed somewhere in a childhood that I had moved myself away from too many times to count. I hummed along, finding the melody along the way and worked my way up to the bar and ordered three glasses of single malt scotch from a questionable bartender that had one lazy brown eye and the other, icy blue in its color, stared at me.
I ignored him and drank the first glass of scotch as he put it down. He gruffed his throat, sat down the other two glasses, and walked away.
I continued to drink the scotch when a long legged ****** sidled up to me and asked if I was looking for a good time. I found myself remembering the good times. Back when there were good times to remember.
The jukebox changed its tune and I became even more out of touch. I passed the third glass to her and she sat closer, wrapping her fingers around the glass and sensually stroking away the condensation that had built up.
I finished the rest of my glass of scotch, looked the ****** up and down. She was beautiful. And slutty. The way that I liked them. But I was tired. And not looking for a good time. I was content with my miserable existence tonight.
She made for small talk and I made for the door.
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 7:16 PM UTC
The freckles scattered across her face like maps leading me to a million different conclusions. She loves me she loves me not became a guessing game that I played daily, and it wasn't with flowers it was with the affection she gave me.
One day, I touched her cold skin and she winced in pain, I looked into her eyes and she said. "It's barely holding together." But I told her her bones felt like metal covered in soft satin and she smiled. "Liked I said," she whispered. "Barley holding together."
She was the type of girl that looked into the trees and looked at the forest, the wild things in the ground and the butterflies wings for she was just as soft and delicate. She was a rare case of the hiccups, she stopped your heart but always made sure it keeps beating after words. And I loved it. I loved how she had so much power over me, she made my knees shake like a train rushing down the tracks and when she kissed me she froze every part of my body. When I told her that her love for me was a guessing game she stopped and told me "Forever". She gave me words when I had none, the smoke that illuminated off her skin gave me a high that I ended up getting addicted to.
I loved her so much and she just went and killed herself. She killed herself and took a part of me with her because the day she said "forever" was a lie. She hated lies and she ******* stopped my heart like the rare case of hiccups she was and forgot to check if it was still beating. She left me alive but emotionless. Empty. She ended me.
The maps on her cheeks where a dead end.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 6:06 PM UTC