all for you May 17
all for you
is just that
all for you
but maybe not you
and maybe a you far off in the future
but it's you
you i don't know yet
or maybe i do know you
but it's for you
because it's all for you
all of this
all of us
all of these
lead to you
everything i have ever done
everything i do
everything i will do
will lead me to you
so here it is

it's all for you
maybe i'll find you some day soon // love always
all for you May 17
i should've known
stolen glances
were just that

stolen
why do i keep looking too deep into everything? // love always
  Apr 26 all for you
Hannah rose
He doesn’t like to cuddle. He likes to grip my hips and touch my lips, But only when it suits him. He sticks his head out my window because its too hot in my room and he doesn't like the sound of my fan easy.Breath.caffeine.breeze. We laugh quietly and kiss quietly and moan quietly. He mouths vulgar things that make me giggle in front of our friends. I run my hand along the seam off his far too expensive shorts We take every opportunity to be with each other to talk , to feel, so secretly. So public. Exhibitionist pleasure. We talk night after night rapidly and vigorously and trip over each others sentences like a sidewalk crack. He says “her” like it means “amen” i say “us” pretending i could be them.We get drunk off of music  and skin and things we love. His smile erupts across his face like it could shatter his cheekbones. His eyes glimmer like a lake catching the glare of the moonlight.He loves to be so much taller  than me. He thinks it makes him wiser. We spend a lot of time in my room with the doors shut. (We spend a lot of time outside of my room with our mouths shut.) I always wake up first. I lay there looking at him Vulnerable and quiet with the occasional sleep talk. Soft face. Soft sounds.We bond over love for our friends We fight over who gets the corner in my bed.
We tease and We kiss, ooh we kissed.
He loves classical music. We listen in silence.I sit on his stomach and laugh maniacally and pout my lips when he won’t be fair.
He is my occasional constant.
i think i'm falling in love with him.
I think he's fallen for her.
all for you Apr 15
Him
he was remarkable
he was intelligent
he was kind
he was...the worst thing that ever happened to me
please get out of my life // love always
  Feb 15 all for you
helena alexis
going back to
the person who
made your life
toxic is like
re-watching your favorite movie
in hope of a different
ending each time
all for you Feb 9
When I was 5 I wanted to be a doctor
Until I realized I cried every time I needed a shot
Winced when I saw someone fall
And wanted to vomit when I saw blood.

When I was 7 I wanted to be a veterinarian
Until I realized I was more connected to animals
Than I was to humans
And I cried every time my dog so much as limped.

When I was 10 I wanted to be a teacher
Until I realized I could never let my students go
And would be too concerned about what they’re going through
That I wouldn’t even know what to teach them.

When I was 13 I wanted to be a lawyer
Until I realized I shook every time something bad happened
And if I sucked at arguing with my brother
How could I argue for someone’s future?

When I was 15 I wanted to be a CEO
Until I realized people would have to know my name
And I’d have to tell them what to do
When I didn’t even know what I was doing.

When I was 17 I wanted to be an author
Until I realized I couldn’t even read my own work
Let alone let my family and friends read it
Let alone let strangers read it.

When I’m grown up
All I really want to be
Is so content with where I’m at
That I don’t need to look too far in the future.

When I grow up
I just want a roof over my head
A job I love
And a family that loves me.

When I grow up
I don’t care what I’m doing
Or where I am
As long as I’m happy.
i think i'll end up ok // love always
all for you Jan 9
You look like home
Like my dad’s hugs
And my mom’s kisses
And family cuddles

You look like home
Like the beaten down couch
And my brother’s music
And my sister’s paintings

You look like home
Like dark orange walls
And just a little too cold
And with some hard edges

You look like home
Like the torn up garden
And my dog’s face when we leave
And winds whistling around the corners

You look like home
And I don’t want to go home
Why couldn't you have made me a new home? // love always
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