"tush" poems
Someone said my monkey's dead,
But confusion hit their head,
Made them think that this is true,
I'm in a funk, what can I do?
Then they soon told my neighbors, yes,
Put my monkey to the test,
Called the papers just long enough to say,
Yes, my monkey ran away.
I searched high, and I searched low,
Dropped a rock upon my toe,
Hit my head on a doorway hard,
Couldn't find my monkey in the yard.
Traveled to the mountains nearby,
Looking for monkey made me cry,
Saw the clouds come floating by,
A speck of dirt flew in my eye.
Checked the traveling circus troup,
For details on missing monkey scoup,
Learned that he had traveled through,
What am I supposed to do?
Boarded a boat set for the Indian Ocean,
Got sea sick from the crazy motion,
Tried to eat, but it all came up,
Couldn't drink the swirl in my cup.
Once in Africa, deep in the jungle,
Searched for monkey and took a tumble,
Found a panther hiding in the bush,
Felt flat hard upon my ****
So, no monkey, not anywhere,
Does the world so truly care?
Waited patiently in a Star Bucks shop,
In came monkey and my coffee I dropped.
Called him by his first name, Charles,
Saw him stare and then he snarled,
Ran so fast for the door, he did,
What a silly and audacious kid.
Ran pursuit down a cobbled stone road,
Saw my monkey drop his precious load,
Screamed at him to stop and say,
Where he goes on this very day.
When my breath was heavily panting,
Stopped my call and my ranting,
Figured if he so desperately was going,
No more to care and no more knowing.
Monkey, monkey where are you?
Are you hiding in the zoo?
Will you ever be around?
You're a silly, slippery clown.
Feb 19, 2011
Feb 19, 2011 at 5:33 AM UTC
The music thumps, the walls jump,
she pole dances against the jamb.
Dust rag in her right.
polish in her left hand.
House is hers for a few hours
to fulfill a fantasy.
Bump and grind it babe,
the vacumn whiiiirrrs away.
Shake that ***** strut that stuff,
transfer clothes in washer to dryer.
Wearing faded blue jeans,
kick that leg up higher.
Beds are made, bunnies dusted,
she cat walks looking demure.
Practices a sultry pout,
wiping spots from the mirror.
Work the shoulders, drop to a deep squa,t
then stick the **** up in the air.
Family is due home very soon,
straighten her clothing with care.
Greet the kids with hugs, husband with kisses,
getting dinner to the table.
While news plays in the background,
her life is happy, solid and stable.
Dishes washed, kids off to sleep,
taking my husband by the hand,
this housewife leads him to our room,
where her stripper soul takes command
Jun 23, 2010
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:31 AM UTC
.
***there once was a girl from France
who danced on stage with no pants
she showed off her ****
but never her bush
and she left the crowd in a trance***
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 11:26 AM UTC
Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
I visualise that toilet brush,
Shoved down his throat thrush,
Or up his male ****
Not even an excuse for a man,
Bullies don't get, says my nan,
Way too early to be awake,
Way too early to cook him steak,
What does he think he's going to eat?
That toilet brush he'll meet and greet,
Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
All budget friendly and medicine free,
(Guess who swallowed the dictionary!!!!)
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 11:38 PM UTC
a million ears listening
no one hears a thing
basest news a big surprise
ignominy is crowned king
a squander of treasure
best minds laid to waste
price of fear forever accrues
funds the purpose of the place
eyes of a diligent nation
brains filled with briny mush
ears clogged and waxen
expertise in smelling ****
central intel brainiacs
the heft of heavy dudes
a sordid nest of vipers
collecting despots dues
Music selection:
Radiohead,
Artificial Intelligence
Oakland
2/14/11
jbm
Apr 12, 2013
Apr 12, 2013 at 7:34 PM UTC
I am not who you see,
I am me
The Clumsy, dorky, sometimes ******
The one who will try to make you feel
When you cannot feel anymore,
The one that will stand up for you,
When you are limp, on the floor.
The person that will make sure,
Your information is correct.
Sometimes to be a pain in the ****
The one who will cook, but only if its
For her and another, or more.
But never for herself.
The one that tries to give the best advice,
But never asks for them to listen.
Sometimes she thinks she is male,
For always wanting to be right.
But at the same time, she is female.
Whiny, crabby, always up in your face.
She is indecisive, she doesn’t know half of the time.
Her name is Chelsea.
She is pretty cool.
Nov 11, 2011
Nov 11, 2011 at 12:20 AM UTC
Best Week Ever
Just had my best week of all time,
I'm 42 but still in my prime.
Spent some time with Brittany Spears,
I left her begging and in tears.
After a night with Beyonce,
she wanted me to be her fiance.
Just one night with Pink,
now she can't even blink.
Had a date with Katy Perry,
she asked me to pop her cherry.
Spent some time with J-Lo,
she was more sloppy than a joe.
Rihanna likes to play rough,
**** she looks good in the buff.
Me and Fergie ate some black eyed peas,
then we were joined by Alicia keys.
Had a blast with Taylor Swift,
we did it on a ski lift.
Avril Lavinge wanted it never to end,
now she wants to be her boyfriend.
I turned Miley Cyrus back into Hannah Montana,
its a secret what we did with a banana.
Me and Kesha sang her hit Tik Tok,
then she ****** on my clock.
Selena Gomez is a witch no more,
I turned her into my little *****
Carrie Underwood won't slash my tires,
the heat between us started some fires.
Gwen Stefani left the singer from Bush,
she loved the way I smacked her ****
Lady Ga Ga showed me her poker face,
with her I reached every base.
Me and Lita Ford kissed each other deadly,
then she sang me a **** medley.
Madonna said I was her best,
we spent no time dressed.
I was man enough for Sheryl Crow,
let me tell you, she can really blow.
As the week ended, I had Shakira moving her hips,
then I woke up and it was an **** with Gladys Night and her Pips.
Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013 at 2:32 PM UTC
i've had wild turkey-
kinda gamey
but it'll do in a rush
i've had jim beam, too
along with a little kush
but- jack daniels kicked my ***
and knocked me on my ****
this thanksgiving
i'm going with plain old turkey
cuz i'm smarter and braver
if god will only grant me the serenity.
11/27/14
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 7:13 AM UTC
hearing Shakespeare,
my-own-voice
crack'd, stilted,
stuttered-shut by the
mocking silence of still
waters on the brain
poverty exposed,
raggedy verbiage for a
raggedy man's
frayed fringed garments
ashamed of
every word I ever wrote,
not even ten survivors,
not enough to pray collectively
for muse~forgivement
****
hush me not,
no chairs turned,
the public has not texted,
new tattoo:
write on for audience of one
a necessity, a life sentence
a single topic, a subject,
a life, mine,
still unmastered,
decades of trying
poverty exposed, unmasked
for what it is worth,
or what it is not
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 4:05 PM UTC
Love is Love
so do not tarry.
If Tom loves ****
then they should marry.
If Anne loves Becky's
lovely ****
No more beating about the bush!
But what of Harry's secret flame-
The love that dares not bleat its name?
Ewe'll have to wait another round
of defining deviance down.
If you think this all **********
please don't quote
the King James' version.
Lines at random from Leviticus
can make you seem
a tad ridiculous.
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 9:19 AM UTC
Many a song has been written about the girl
Stating how the sweet love of two will unfurl
How beautiful she is outside and under cover
She means the world to the one who loves her
There's a song,
That beautifully describes your cognitive thrill
It's by a band called Cypress Hill
And it goes,
*"Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain"*
Because if you think I'm masquerading as two
There's something not quite right about you
Yes, there was a closeness of friendship new
But that didn't mean there was anything true
There was none of that other business mind
I think you'll see I'm not that way inclined
Your jealousy and spitefulness has to conclude
Your insanity is venomous and beyond rude
There's nothing, I repeat nothing, wise about you
When you present so many lies about you
You wouldn't know how to be a child of the Lord
You wouldn't know diddly about The Word
You can sit in church and praise all day long
It don't make you a Christian singing that song
Any less than sitting in a garden on my ****
Makes me blossom, I'm not the **** rosebush
You need to be locked away and kept an eye on
That acidity burning inside is what you'll die on
Your dissecting of the human soul by half
Now has me shaking my head
At how sad you are instead
It's not funny, but you gotta laugh
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 3:54 AM UTC
'Twas in the park one day
I met a chappie gay;
We went behind a bush
Where I saw his **** ****
And I evinced a shock
When he took out his ****
(it was of such a size
it would have won a prize).
Now, so many years have passed
How many times we've arsed
Each other I don't know,
But each time we have a go
And watch each other come
Up an outsider's ***
We know our love is true
As we call out "OO! OO! OO!"
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 10:17 AM UTC
The conservative element in DC
Has something else as priority.
It sure is not you, nor is it me.
It’s a much more powerful constituency:
Those who pull strings do not care
Unless you are a multi-millionaire
And contribute to their greedy cause
Like some kind of Santa Claus.
They keep on doing what they’re doing
******** who they were ********
I would explain it all if I could
But sometimes words do no good.
Behind all the gobbledy ****
Someone is not playing by the book.
Winning with lies is what they are trying
To make the true facts look like lying.
They keep you so confused that you
You believe what they want you to,
So you won’t see behind their wiles
To bring their larcenous ***** to trial.
Dignifying public rumors of buggery
You look away from skullduggery.
A few insignificant happenstances
Eclipse treasonous circumstances.
You ***** about gays and abortion
While conservatives commit extortion
And persecution in Jesus’ name.
To them it’s all a ratings game.
If you don’t care what people feel
You lose all track of what is real.
You turn into a tool for deception;
A dupe of sleight-of-hand misdirection.
As long as things are as they are
We’ll get run over by the clown car
Which is the Congress currently seated.
And as long as they remain undefeated
The rules will leave the deck stacked.
Nobody in DC will have our backs.
Why should they care about our whim
When the way it is benefits them?
We need one item, one bill rules
Or we end up the same beaten fools.
We need campaign funding to be equal
Or each election becomes a sequel
To what happened with Gore and Bush
When backdoor politics bit us in the ****
The only way change will ever come around
Is to take the loopholes from these clowns.
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 11:07 PM UTC
Of all the things I've got
It's my large ******* I treasure most
My tiny waist and slender fingers
My dainty wrists
The laugh that bubbles from my belly
The smile that's been called infectious that I treasure most
Of all the things I've got
My vocabulary is my dopest gift
My brain that's lightyears beyond your wildest thought
The eyes I use when luring you in for just one more taste
of my lips, which just happen to be my dopest gift
Of all the things I've got
It's my cafe con leche skin that I like the most
My flat stomach and toned ****
My hips that were made for making you melt
It's my quick wit that I'm most proud of
Of all the things I've got
and I've got a lot
It's you that my very best part
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 2:09 PM UTC
Fanwisdom gedachting a hearth-billow in my Herz
Ich hab' gedacht it fairer still to know
Than amongst dein Welt it predisposes is perplexed aloof
Extraños kann nicht go where I must go
And von und an die spinniest of Hund
In peril and with Angsty tougher Hands
Will not crepuscular desecration sofort ensue
Für nichts ist wichtiger nur ein Liebling mood
Versucht wir probs and totes adorbs
But still zu schieße tired and hasst to sein
Während wir sollen in the proper sense
Man oh yeah das Man sagt en vino absorb'd
Was wicked waste and After it schmeckt schleck
Über ist nicht was es ich verpassen now
Most mehr mit Menchen kommt wieso I ask?
Wenn wo I know it is so very untoward to cow
Kuh oder a coo cannot redeem from drain
Zeit and Mal scent rempeln us all or push
Klar we cannot stop the starkest Zug
Nor yodel holler up the lane for ****
And just wenn denkst du, dass eyes is mad
Know that for Worten the harshest Lebens macht
To get you just to see and versehe sum
Unwertens none of us will ever be ich gedacht
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 6:49 PM UTC
Our English language? A curious thing!
Hammers don't ham and fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and ushers don't ush,
And why is a rear called a toosh, not a ****
What is the plural of mitt? Is it mitten?
And what's a caboodle if there is no kit'n?
Do women count coins when they go through their change?
Is all lucre filthy? Are bedfellows strange?
You can't have the willie, the heebee or jitter,
And patter is noisy unless it's with pitter.
If a guy's queer, is he gay or just odd?
And if a girl's skinny, is she still a "broad"?
Can you do a flip? That's an interesting word...
Flip a house or a pancake or even a bird!
You'd never say fum without fee, fi or foe,
And why do we go to the bathroom... to go?
Slim chance or fat, they are one and the same,
And **** can be naughty unless it's your name!
So if you love words and you don't take them lightly,
You'll find by and by that you can-can write rightly!
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/war-of-the-words#ixzz35Z943NKD
Family Friend Poems
Our English language? A curious thing!
Hammers don't ham and fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and ushers don't ush,
And why is a rear called a toosh, not a ****
What is the plural of mitt? Is it mitten?
And what's a caboodle if there is no kit'n?
Do women count coins when they go through their change?
Is all lucre filthy? Are bedfellows strange?
You can't have the willie, the heebee or jitter,
And patter is noisy unless it's with pitter.
If a guy's queer, is he gay or just odd?
And if a girl's skinny, is she still a "broad"?
Can you do a flip? That's an interesting word...
Flip a house or a pancake or even a bird!
You'd never say fum without fee, fi or foe,
And why do we go to the bathroom... to go?
Slim chance or fat, they are one and the same,
And **** can be naughty unless it's your name!
So if you love words and you don't take them lightly,
You'll find by and by that you can-can write rightly!
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 10:12 AM UTC
They showed me your picture at twelve weeks old
I wasn’t sure about this “parent” thing, but I was instantly sold
You grew inside me for seven long months
It made me happy, it made me complete
I could feel your body growing, little kicks from your feet
Now I’m in this bed, just waiting for you
I know it’s early but they say they know what to do
I feel the pain of you struggling to get out
I can understand what that’s all about
The doctor came in and said it is time
I’m ready to meet you, I’m ready to shine
They see your head and tell me to push
I do what I’m told, I can’t wait to see your little ****
It seemed like days, I was ready to pass out
And then by some miracle, you came out
I heard the cry, then they whisked you away
To clean you up, that’s what they did say
I waited and waited for them to bring you to me
I was getting restless, but the doctor I did not see
They said they tried everything
There was nothing they could do
Apparently you started turning blue
I just wanted to hold you
Just for one time
They put your body in my arms
Your hands seemed the size of a dime
I sat and rocked you
Until they took you away
I’ll never forget that horrible day
I’ll always love you
My angel up above
Mommy is here
You are my dove
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 2:44 AM UTC
Here I am sitting,
When will Love come to knock on my door?
I've been in this room awhile,
my **** is getting sore.
I examine the stone floors and all the cracked paper walls.
It seems Love has forgotten about me here after all.
I've been here awhile,
I know this room front to back.
It's my comfort, my world, my straight driven track.
Even if Love were to knock on a Tuesday afternoon,
I don't know if I could let him into my room.
The floors aren't perfect I haven't shined in weeks,
the walls are made of plaster and the paint job's in streaks.
The molding is crooked and the floor makes some squeaks.
I have a bowl in the corner catching the ceiling leak.
I've been waiting for love for so very long
that when love comes knocking;
I'll want to leave.
And it's hard to believe
because I don't know what lies out of this space,
and his could be one that is not of my taste
what room will we make?
Love knows best..
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 2:39 PM UTC
By: Cedric McClester
Republicans start to shop
If their candidate’s not on top
And their poll numbers suddenly drop
Because they’re labeled a flop
So those who used to push
For the heir apparent Bush
Are sitting on their ****
Wishing they had Hindu-kush
And that new-jack Rubio
What is it they think he knows
That allows his cash to grow
They will reap just what they sow
Now let me mention Teddy Cruz
Who hasn’t paid his dues
And when asked he has refused
But that should be old news
Although Carly Fiorena
Has a tough demeanor
Trump once asked, “Have you seen her?”
When he wanted to demean her
And then there’s Dr. Carson
More Don Rickles than Johnny Carson
Soft spoken spreading arson
With incendiary parsing
Now that I have your attention
Though it may earn you dissention
Some I just choose not to mention
They’re beyond my comprehension
So that leaves us Donald Trump
Someone that they’d like to dump
But he says, “Kiss my ****
See he’s energized and pumped
Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2015. All rights reserved.
Oct 15, 2015
Oct 15, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC
. bulwark...
****
works better than
blitzkrieg...
BULL-VARK...
etymology?
oh... you imply
trans-species?
a bull's barking...
don't like it?
change the *******
planet.
yes, oddly enough
i too know that bulls
don't bark...
god know how the words
was conjured!
magic! the only possible
conclusion, magic!
stiffening, isn't it?
get's all the crazies
predating all
the:
best before
staples
with
use by
dating;
go crazy...
**** it...
now is the part
where i: laugh.
WARK is also VARK,
as SHOO
is SZOO...
and CHAT
is CZAT...
no, i', not too sure...
vark can also imply
the consuming effort of a...
hushed bark...
a growl...
a grunting growl...
a snarl...
a hybrid of the whole lot
of them...
it's not like you get to identify
a dog by a... woof!
stupid or something?
the variety of barking?
origins story:
wolves...
wolves do not bark...
you think of a wolf
barking?
i never think of a wolf
as ever being able to bark...
wolves don't bark,
mongrel pets bark...
wolves don't bark...
sure as **** what remains
of a wolf, in the format
of a canine bully worthy of
pit bulls...
tosa... dogo argentino -
such cuties...
**** monster tashes
of fur, pweetie pweetie cuties...
sure as **** they, bite...
but?
how can you not love
a fila brasileiro?
i just want to wrestle with
a mutt
of said example...
you know...
like bite into them...
with a ferocity
of a mincing machine?
it's like my mouth is itching
with regards to what
my hands are up to!
i never think about
falling asleep in a harem...
i want a dog to wrestle
with...
**** excessive *****
just becomes boring;
give me a dog to wrestle!
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 7:13 PM UTC
drifting, drifting
half fearful, half willing
instead I fall into
something empyreal
I fall into you
your arms constrict
you hold me still, planting amative kisses on the once reluctant bambino
baby unfurls at once, letting out little sounds of
almost
venery
almost venery
almost venery
sunlight filters in through the little slit at the bottom of the blinds
as I am lit by my own alpenglow, a little by the **** a little by the scapulae
why do these phantom pains only become pains as soon as somnolence breaks?
I keep this in my heart.
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 12:25 PM UTC
So much energy
Plenty to do
I can do anything
Except what I need to
My thoughts are a whirlwind
I want to escape
I can't drink liquor
When I'm working late
I can watch movies
Play games on my phone
Reorganize my desk
Sing a long song
When it comes to it
I'm just depressed
Life's going nowhere
Memories repressed
Keep pushing on
Take a deep breath
Practice mindfulness
Repair whats left
REMEMBER
There is only today
What I don't get done
Won't go away
Grab up that energy
Make a big push
Write a little poem
And GET OFF YOUR ****
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 3:35 PM UTC
Now Chil the Kite brings home the night
That Mang the Bat sets free -----
The herds are shut in byre and hut,
For loosed till dawn are we.
This is the hour of pride and power,
Talon and **** and claw.
Oh hear the call! - Good hunting all
That keep the Jungle Law!
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 6:55 AM UTC
Well-informed readers have some nerve to compete with this meter ,
it takes years of practice to spell arachnid backwards to see it as the adinkra tribe,
symbols in time these words tend to mingle with lies...
I can't give you "grace" because you're not up to pace
get to your point,
beating around the bush proves you're a sucker for ****
stuck on your looks?
I wrote the book,
takes a mirror to get hooked.
Addictions on self contradictions ,
oxy-morons ,
paradoxes,
the fox hole trench
the "Refute the ox-goad trend" ---------( Hebrew - ox goad))
To all,
it is not met or meant.
For the mint is min, as well as the mind under sin,
Including time, to escape from the Minotaur's Labyrinth the moon had to spin.
You feel drained?
Well it was probably the Wayne,
it's strange,
the umbrella , appears yellow as clear as mushroom caps being viewed by
Hellen Keller.
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 29, 2016 at 11:05 PM UTC
head pop socks off led zeppelin playin'
right moves so smooth arms and legs movin'
in right ways and wrong
is nature's way of saying
hot is just ingrained, so
get plush grab a **** perfume passion
pull some hair
play coy or get tough
and I smell you as we
*** to a conclusion!
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 8:31 PM UTC