"redamancy" poems
You don't know me
The places I wanna see
The things I want to know
What I want to be told
No, you don't know me
You can't hold me
Or tell me everything's alright
When I know you hold her
Like you used to hold me
You tell her she's made of gold
You know her favorite food, her favorite dress
And all the other things
That you don't know about me
I know you've memorized
Her face, Her voice
Yet when you turn around
Can you even remember my name?
I guess it's too much to ask
For redamancy these days
As loyalty has gone out the window
A word of the past
But you used to tell me
That I was made of gold
And that in your arms
I was only yours to hold
But your hands have roamed
So far away from me
And it's not fair
To make me watch
As you do with her
All you did with me
We used to talk about the future
But in a single heartbeat
You have changed our destiny
All those words of yours
Come back and haunt me
Everytime you called me beautiful,
Was it just practice for telling her?
Well you were right about one thing
I am made of gold
And that girl of yours
No matter how much you try
To mold her into me
She will only ever be pyrite
Just a cheap imitation
Of the treasure you will never hold
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 10:25 PM UTC
Long I had tried,
to make sense of what plagues
the minds of those in love.
Long I had cried,
thinking myself far too rational
to fall apart under your gaze.
But now mystery
brings out a certain charm in you
that I've gotten so fond of.
Unaligned symmetry;
my half-a-heart and yours, never
a perfect fit, but a bittersweet pair.
Aug 31, 2014
Aug 31, 2014 at 2:14 AM UTC
Ladle Guilt, blame, and regret into me
Someone should convict me and restrict me from emotion
Crest-fallen, I yearn for redamancy
I tormented time with a turbulent fallacy
Condemn my illicit distribution of preconceived notion
Ladle guilt, blame, and regret into me
I can’t recall tasting stories without choking on hypocracy
For all that makes peace & love stems from chaotic commotion
Crest-fallen, I yearn for redamancy
But too long my eyes merely saw until the day I learned to see
Not importance placed like a trophy case but in honest raw devotion
Ladle guilt, blame, and regret into me
Promises sink like anchors, for their nightmare’s being free
We struggled finding solace and settled for continuous motion
Crest-fallen, I yearn for redamancy
If only I could do things differently
Cast a spell, think before I speak, perhaps produce a potion
Ladle guilt, blame, and regret into me
Crest-fallen, I yearn for redamancy
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 6:53 AM UTC
The water paints with sound
redamancy upon the shore
and our hearts.
And the cascade reminds me
Time can be beautiful,
Love is first shallow,
And then deep,
Oh, so deep, my love,
The color of shale and cobalt
We sit on the rocky shore
And stack stones into a cairn
Making the moment, the place.
Finally, he says, *we’ve seen the ocean
Together.*
As if seeing the vastness of Resurrection Bay
Perfects our Pacific love
Deepening.
We skip a few rocks
To test the shallows
To find the deep
To discover what we believe awaits us
In the future:
Love like waves
Pulled by the moon--
My hand pulled by yours
To go home.
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 3:41 PM UTC
I am wild, my akushla,
a solivigant.
But you are a cynefin.
Your kalon conceives resfeber in me.
Beasts rumble within like brontide,
they chant of redamancy, my trouvaille.
The dragoman drew me to you
Speaking of yugen
the susurruss mountains
they cured my atelphobia
Submontane caves
where our lights baltered among the selcouth crystals
Reminding me of basorexic spoondrift
breaking the moonglades you adore,
my fellow parallian.
Perhaps it was boyish werifesteria
or maybe I was selenotropic
to fall in love with a gentle boobook
ever so finifugal when we speak
But I feel filipendulous when abendrot bows for advesperacit
You sometimes consider it sphalolaliah,
my words, going ever on and on,
But I’ll learn your lagom, if you give me time
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 8:53 PM UTC
11/9/2014
it’s not a question
of whether or not
but rather how
your crooked elbow
hangs over my collarbone
as you reach for your phone
lying procumbent on wherever
the circumstances have placed
us
whether it is a dorm bed or
a basement couch me sitting up in a cold
sweat
or the red of my sunburn on the white
sheets of my july bed
it’s never been a question of state
no matter where the state
until i’m sitting
staring at the empty space you left
next to me or
in my head.
it’s not a question of legitimacy
with the intimacy in your tethered
voice suggesting otherwise
but i can’t help but despise
wild intricacies of time.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 6:24 PM UTC
From the day I was born
You have been my mother
I knew there was a reason
That God paired us together
Now that I'm older
I can start to see why
You have been there to lend me a shoulder
And pick me up when all I can do is cry
Without you,
Who would be there to speak for me?
When I'm shy and can't say my mind
You step in saving me
Unconditional love
Is all you've ever given me
A mother-daughter bond
That just can't be beat
I love you with all of my heart
Redamancy is my gift to you
You've been with me from the start
It's me and you, tried and true
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 3:27 PM UTC
I’m so afraid
That I
Will always be
The one
That loves
More.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
there are these days
that repeat themselves
sometimes
about specific things
from our the past,
like those when we search
for redamancy.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 10:50 AM UTC
There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
upon
The horizon
and watch the sky
pull a symphony of colors
Where the atmosphere and clouds
simply refract light;
creating an array of complex hues
the sky became emphatic
to show off it's beauty
That was today
There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And see the clouds move
slowly and yet hastily
And despite the Coriolis,
the clouds form shapes
And represent
such figures to you
whether human, animal, or object
It reminds you of
memories, places, people
That was today
There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And just look at the grandeur of it
Where you cannot tell where
The sky ends and the earth begins
no trace of the sun nor the moon
Like the earth felt God's redamancy
and God felt the Earth's
and our worlds finally became one
That was today
There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And the moment you lay your eyes Upon it
all the questions, all the queries
finally become answered to
like quantum theory and "beauty"
ultimately became understood
like you now have an answer
to your most enigmatic problem
That was today
I looked upon that sunset
I have an answer
I finally have an answer
I now have an answer
That was today
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 11:41 AM UTC
i wish to touch the bits of you that endure my dirt.
i wish
more than ever the shape of your face in the curve of my long and twisted fingers.
there's something about it that make my hands
okay to look at again.
like they may have a found a fitful purpose, caressing the demon mouth
that kisses my angel teeth,
residing underneath
my loved lips
that send trips
to your words.
they encase your bright
eyes
and devour the confidence left in them.
but what i meant
to say was, i see your bright
eyes
showing fight to the fence
that you build so high.
i can see the lies shine
like a light was tied ,
just for me to breach them.
just so i could teach them,
you are one to beat them.
even though its you who seeds them.
emitting the aroma of tainted goodness and its all
okay
because of the eutony of this all.
these words can break my fall.
if i make the call,
and summon the space,
my soul
will come and take the place
of the weak face
i can no longer
sonder,
anymore in the background of your filled up recognitions.
there's
no
space
for
my
sad
face.
there's
no
place
for
my
heart
ache.
sent into solivagance.
this is a dark red redamancy,
one of a curse.
the birth
of our breakage
started at the first
touch of a sacred
unto a scarred soul.
and she cried
finding nothing but an empty black hole,
in return. forever churned
in a lustuous magnetism.
a
love prison.
its something that buries itself
beneath all the logic in my heart,
creeping from underneath my sins.
its some kind of wonder,
beckoning the birth rights
of every death in my future.
[ it's some kind of mutual case of kalopsia. ]
Of all the questions that beg my being,
why do my fingers still only look straight
when they're resting on your rigid face ?
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013 at 11:10 PM UTC
The rain, it pours a sorrow tune,
The clouds hold shelter to the moon
To where am I supposed to look?
My star, the sky has solemnly took
Lit no more, is the flame we held
His sight remained, yet mine rebelled
Drifting by was a familiar wind,
Without a choice, the breeze flew in
Eyes set focus upon a glare,
Ignoring tremors, I allowed the stare
A whisper begged, who could this be?
Deceiving voices cried, could this be me?
An empty life turned painfully numb,
In my own world, I lived, it turned me dumb
Entranced by my star, a love was sprung
Blissfully so, such a love came undone
By two distant souls, that love could be no more
Louder now, the sorrow tune shall pour
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 13, 2013 at 11:57 AM UTC
1
you were what Adam called poetry those first days in the garden; there were no words to encompass You so he used all of them
2
I have heard voices at the bottoms of bottles, always emptier
3
I am angry at my hands for being too weak to turn house keys, maybe you would've let me in if I was strong enough
4
it's all my fault, I know it. the day my father loaded his fear into the back of a pickup truck and drove away was the day I learned that leaving is just coming back, falling out of bed when I thought I felt your warmth beside me
5
show me a word that doesn't look like loss when you hold it to the light too long; there isn't one
6
maybe if I didn't cry so often I would feel fuller; if I was fuller I would have more to pour out to you
7
love me with a depth and severity that would make hurricanes green with envy
8
we want so much and we desire so deeply, it is no fault of our own that we always feel so disconnected; empty of a thing of which we have never felt full
9
playing foul piano chords to an audience of my nauseating loneliness, roars of applause come from your side of the bed
10
it's okay that he only calls when the morning after has proven to come too early & too bright, you've always been the warm & familiar darkness
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 5:31 PM UTC
by: R.A
Treating someone as a meaningful thing
Regrets create, the effect it means.
But how sure they are, if love will bring
Faults and mistakes in this world that we’ve been?
The reasons we live to achieve our goals
Agape, Storge, Philia, and Eros.
The cycle, pattern, and the sequence of cause,
A perception we lost like a withered rose.
Do not expect anything in return
The truth concede no need to concern,
Love can exchange, a thing to discern.
Retain the patience, we need to learn.
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 9:11 AM UTC
to kiss you senseless until i am a seaglass buried deep inside your skin. to lick salt off your palms with paper-cut lips, until each breath has gone haywire. to quietly sigh your name until it baptizes my heathen tongue. oh, the wars i would start; the wars i would end — darling, there is something soothing about all the violent ways i can love you.
Jan 7, 2021
Jan 7, 2021 at 4:05 AM UTC
Words
words to say
words to say for those who possess a quiescent soul
vibrations forming into susurrus breathes,
spun by Love.
Love is an oxymoronic, overly celebrated,
seemingly sempiternal happening that is eternally ephemeral,
lasting
a
very
short
t
i
m
e.
Love speaks with words that no matter how
dis-joint-ed
sound wonderfully euphonious -
a sonic euphoria
a billet-doux made from absolutely nothing
but
the very
rawness
of being absolute.
Love is a little more than
chimerical.
Love is a clinquant aubade that requires redamancy.
redamancy.
Love requires love to exist in it's eternal shortness,
to exist
in the mere seconds that are allowed
to exist in the ephemeral time frame of a blip in space
of decades and decades that no one will rememeber and that will not matter to the masses
and
will mean
absolutely nothing to everyone else except
for the one that is awake enough to look directly at
Love.
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:47 AM UTC
we floated around in an ocean
of mediocrity
sharing poems etched into the skin
on our wrists
wondering when the weight of the world would drown us in our own thoughts
thoughts of people who didn't even know
we existed
places we would never go
and things we would never say
no one knows I still sing you happy birthday
in the room where you died in my arms
its only a metaphor, of course
I'm sure you're out there somewhere
in a city that could never care
about you
like I did
tattooing your skin with her bed sheets
and kissing over coffee tables made
of all the ways I'll never get to say
I love you
the coffee table you lay books on top of
but never read
or run your knee into and curse
under your breath
I imagine this is what loving you
would have been like
and still
the thought is enough to keep me up
at night
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 10:38 AM UTC
like a tiny jump that i made every time i saw flowers, that's how you makes me feel like. Happiness.
like a mesmerized looks that i made every time i saw the sun sets, that's how you makes me feel like. Warmth.
i will make a flowery path for you, just like how you did to mine.
i will be the rainbow after your rainy days, just like what you did to me.
Apr 25, 2023
Apr 25, 2023 at 1:47 AM UTC
All that I need, all I've wanted for years, and even during the lost times, you were pressed under my skin like pure, warm aching. Had to go through it, we say now, had to lose each other entirely then to be heavenly entangled now.
Such great heights only after sunken deep lows.
Let me tell you, angel, I am certain you were made for me, and goodness, believe me, I could never leave.
We stood the test of time.
We endured the distance.
We have conquered demons.
You and I fought a ****** war, and hell if we didn't win it.
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 12:03 AM UTC
I desire warmth and
Despise the void,
Despite convincing myself that
I was not missing anything
And just dissatisfied with the "completeness".
Realizations travel the more gentle current
And you find them on shore in a
slow succession.
Picking up these messages,
My hands do not feel frigid-
A sensation my heart envies;
It longs to outshine the sun.
Now days will pass in a frenzy
Searching for an embrace.
A rendezvous with redamancy.
(Beginning with myself.)
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 2:45 AM UTC
I am cordially writing this to you in hopes that my wishes may be given the chance to come true. I only have one request, and I'm sure it wouldn't take much of your time.
Please give me the chance to see him
again. I don't have plans to hurt him, nor do I have plans to take him from the hands of his family and friends.
I simply want to be able to tell him, even if he doesn't hear, about the stories I've wrote in his name.
I need him to know about the way I see him to be, so that I am aware if I'm loving the dream or the real him.
I want to be able to love him in his terms of what is right, the way he wants to be loved.
Though I know the chances of redamancy is slim, at least he knows that I love at least a fragment of him.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and I hope that, if you choose to accept my request, I am able to show my gratitude to you in a more concrete way. Thank you, and I hope to get my answer soon.
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 21, 2017 at 3:55 AM UTC
It is the feeling when you receive a cup of coffee to calm your nerves.
It is the feeling when you breathe in the musky smell of the ocean.
It is the feeling when drops of rain touch your skin, your lips, your fingertips.
It is the feeling when you take a photo and see the beauty of it.
It is the feeling when you venture through the forest.
It is the feeling when you have a love returned in full,
redamancy.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 10:23 AM UTC
Every time she closes her eyes she conjures him up in her mind
They open only to become clouded by the tears he causes to erupt
From behind those slender doors she thought had long since shut
As he turns the lock and all her walls come tumbling once again
She’s exposed to the vicious beast that love has taken the form of
What can she do to pry her mind away from he whom she longs for?
Where can she store her thoughts so they won’t taunt her relentlessly?
How can she deny what is right before her and singing in her heart?
Out of fear she shuts her eyes to make him disappear forgetting
He is not simply some material being to wish away, he is in everything
He is the beating in her head and the throbbing in her heart
He is in every breath she holds, every sigh she releases
He is in every sunset, smile, and feeling of warmth
He’s torture upon her everyday life as he stabs her day and night
As if he has no choice but to jab her with every what if and if only
It is a violent sort of passion, one that can only be seen briefly
Through the eyes of a passerby it tricks them like a glimmer of innocence
Yet behind that innocence is a fiery sin coated in lust and longing
How much of that sin can she hold before it tears a hole into her soul
One that can no longer be repaired by the illusion of redamancy?
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 11:10 PM UTC
If you look under my bed you'll probably find
the versions of me you never loved,
I'm planning on joining them soon.
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 8:47 PM UTC