they just stood,
dependably
rooted to their ground
killing the state of our mental vice
into such sinful cries
and
what has kept us breathing since
feels almost dead by now
how can we not leave our rooms
so soberly sad
to such peculiar repellency
that lives within in our souls too

-a.

it was always hidden
in the welcoming smell of rain
no matter
how soft and quiet
or how heavy and stormy
they came
in all sorts of drizzle
either way,
nothing else could beat
to the wild, lingering, raw sound of it
and
to feel you through
my flawed skin
over again

-a.

tell me,
where do hearts go
without them breaking too loudly
after baring one’s soul
terrifyingly,
killing their only gut
but ended up writing letters
to one’s self
where can we reset
such one-sided emotion
before the demons take over
the walk with us
to their hellish pit

-a.

what else could be more
terrifying
than to know
that every beginning now
mirrors and consumes
this almost heart
into something frightening
and never lasting?

-a.

it was in his
soft smile
that played on his lips
and I knew,
I was next in line
to finally learn how to waltz
with his demons
tugging through
such silent, wakeful nights
where our hearts stood unquiet
but loved the hardest

-a.

the heart's
a soft-skinned treasure
and only your gentle hands
could illuminate
the right kind of blue
to mine

-a.

there was a star
for every of our wild, broken parts

there was a silent blessing
for every first drop of rain that
drummed softly on the
windowpane

there was, also,
a gentle sort of love
for every of our quiet mornings
to half empty coffee cups
and
just like a gentleman
you held onto this almost heart
in all the right ways

-a.

forgive yourself
forgive every little inch
of the becoming and unbecoming of you
even if it’s hard
even if others can’t
self healing is something
God invites and lavishes upon us
to His welcoming hands
He, who knows
the sound of each of our hearts
would never render
multiple coats of heavy batter
to our souls
without knowing our true potentiality
the ones
we were fairly gifted with

-a.

I guess
the deepest,
saddest truth of it all is
no matter how
frightening and insanely mesmeric life
takes us on,
once we find something beautiful,
in some way or other,
we have to let it go
but if we’re just lucky enough,
those lovable things we’ve carried
in our present time
across our almost hearts
will soon reunite and sit with us again
even in the afterlife,
just like good old times

-a.

I don’t count the stars anymore
instead
I start to take on every little inch
of this heavy numbness
upon me
and settle this very skin over by the moon
and if someday,
you’d ever come to see how
I’ve blanketed the universe
in shades
of wild, celestial midnight blues
on the other side,
you’ll know they’re mine
especially
on late, mellowy nights
when the stars make its heaviest fallout
to this once love

-a.