I think I finally understand.

I'm the part of you you'd never felt worth venturing
And you're the part of me that I always desired,
That driven connection we have,
Its like two souls intervene so magically , so effortlessly,
That magnetic field we resonate ,
Is connecting us beyond what we ever expected,
No pressure, No negative intuitions,
Your spirit rejuvanates my spaces of unfurnished emptiness,
Your honest acceptance of me is chivalrous,
Need i say much about how comfortable we ease ourselves to let it go,
That deep spiritual connection we have is something i want to cherish,
I love how you throw off your inner thoughts at me,
Your love is enticing, so sensual,
I want you to indulge in my overflowing appetite of love for you
Let me love you inside out,
Allow me to counterpoise your darkside,
I wish to reside in the space between your heart and loneliness so that the two may never meet again,
You started a war in my heart, and I can't let it end now baby,
I am going to surrender to your carefree love,
Temper me with your protectiveness,
I wont be able to resist your soul,
I want to be in your circle of growth,
Fertilize me with your pureness,
Your ravishing personality amazes me,
Oh sweetheart,
Our craving and desire for one another light's us up whenever we meet eyes now. I never want that to go away,
For all that we had in the past, For all that we have now, lets allow our hearts to lead us into this path of perpetual love. <3

I love you,
I know I'm starting off so very vague,
for this word is not explainable in any other way.

   I will caress you form the shadows,
I will keep you from harm's way,
I will hold you,
I think of you throughout all of my days,
I have set on you,
I don't think of them the same way any more,
I want you to know,
you've got me forever,
I won't go!

   Your laid back outlook is a breath of fresh air,
your smell is to die for,
those other males wouldn't dare,
because they would lose their lives if I saw.

   I promised I wouldn't lie to you so this is how it is,
It isn't unconditional,
For this I feel so selfish,
Love me,
Trust me,
don't leave me,
I'm so sorry it's a lot to ask this.

   I will give my life to you,
this will be the last thing I do,
I would rather my heart pounded for you,
than you cut my heart in two.

like a desert, in the middle of July..
I wonder why..
Your arms stretch out, touching every grain of sand hidden...
keeping warm, even the most cold forbidden...

given a chance to,
be nurtured by the life the desert springs in summer...
an oasis, endless in its love, precious in its wonder..

warmth never felt this warm before,
even as a child under blankets when i feared..
and unlike the blankets, you would never disappear..

heaven is, the feeling of gentle protectiveness,
calmness and power..
ability to devour an hour..
simply spending time describing that one particular flower...

..that bloomed...

Because were not the huggy type, never one to show affection..
momma never kissed us but she gave us her protection..

never said i love you, but we never went hungry..
I got a job at 14 and she never asked for funding...

Quit a career, hopped the border left her favorite shoes behind..
all just so her seeds planted had a chance to see divine..
and even when theres happy times she never says its fine..
still she prays to God, in times of troubles every time...

what does heaven feel like? ......

Heaven is,
that moment once a year when we embrace...
its almost mothers day, i can see it in your face..

Warmth unmatched,
Love endless and pure...
She'll never know, but all the good i do is for her,
and of that im sure, of that im sure..

Momma, I believe in heaven,
heavens my cure.




-afj

A day in the life of an alley cat, struck dead on the least busy street in the smallest town in Nebraska.
1 am: Druggy, *** you money, ******, don't deserve love, not easy to tell mom. I think of you. Your lungs are begging for my scold. Control is the word you use when no other fits the sentence. You occupy my mind when I am restless, testing the limits of kindness and low voices.
4 am: Your smile, the warmest hot chocolate of your eyes, your knuckles, the baby fat that melted from you, it haunts me. It's like I caught of a glimpse of the wrong angel, the half rotten, beyond gone, but still glowing angel. I killed you with a .45 and a gallon of mouthwash. You dripped into the Earth as a puddle beneath my toes. Gracious Lord, do not forgive me. I know I don't.
8 am: Insomnia without poetry. Tired without body. Maggots without mouths. Catholic priest, without sympathy. God without mercy. Drug abuse, without the realization of undignified addiction. Suicide without the comfort of killing, certainty.
3 pm: Sentiment, true and real, above annoyance and protectiveness. I am now a ghost above a body, finally weightless, finally free of His hands.
6 pm: Joy breaks open like a candy, soft center.
10 pm: Life tears my fingers open, unwraps the flesh from bone like Christmas. I feel my tongue fall out. Dusty antique radios are cleaned, losing authenticity. Their songs scream, sounding a lot like Billy Joel, after the catgut snaps. I feel my mind crawl out of the china cabinet.
11 pm: Nothing. There's really nothing to say at all.

How is it even possible
For someone to be
Remotely as great
As you are
To me
How is it even possible
To have all of that
Talent
Looks
Genuinity
Protectiveness
Love
Humour
Care
Wisdom
Warmth
Touch
All in one person
How do you do it
How is it even possible
For you to be all that
In one person
From the beaming white smile
To the comforting hugs
And comforting touch of the knee
To the way you move to music
From the words of wisdom
To the quick wit
From the protective caring type
To the joking around laughing type
How is it possible
For all of that
To be in one package
To be mine
I really don't know

I looked for you in the distant, plural reality though you were so close to me.
I was looking for your vibrant eyes in other men, in vain.
Meanwhile, I discovered the charm of your manhood painted with my eyes.
Manhood can be viewed from different perspectives.
Respect, safety, trust, protectiveness,
it is not experienced by all other humans.
Feelings differs from person to person.
I fell in love with you without reason,
without calculation of the probability of a broken heart.
I want to cherish all your human creative elements,
all aspects of your manhood,
biological, anthropological, psychological, theological.
I want to become a notion of divinity,
to feed you with the unknowable.
I want to become indigo, scarlet, gold,
to be coulors of your soul.
I want to speak the language of your dreams
to give you a magic moment before sleep.
I want to love you infinitely like nobody ever loved you
before and after me.
I want to listen to your breathing at night
and in the morning spoil you with a passionate kiss.
I would like to live in your dreams
and wake you up with the aroma of coffee.
I want to be a leprechaun in your hands
and dwell in them as in a house in a tree.
I want to dance with witches
whispering in my name oldest love spells.
I want to become magic in your eyes
to enchant your famished senses .
I want to swap roles with you
to understand your unique world.
Love is not rational, it would not be love.
You can not touch it but you can prove it.
My love is more real than real.
Our love will never become smaller dream when it comes to true.
I belong to you.

When first you hold that new babe in your arms,
You vow to protect him from all evil or harm.
No love like this have ever you known,
Until you hold this new life, this babe, your own.

The years pass by and with every scrape and tear,
You pull your small one close and hold them near,
Wishing deep in your heart you could take every pain,
Make it yours to withstand, but alas, this wish is in vain.

Our babes must hurt, must suffer and grow,
All the while, we watch, our hearts aching so.
We do what we can to protect them and yet,
In spite of us, somehow, they grow and we fret.

We worry when they are late from a date,
We imagine them lost to the worst kind of fate.
Eyes rolling and with huge sighs at our concerns,
They ignore our admonishments and skip up to their rooms.

Even after you have both lived through those teenage years,
Filled with drama, angst, heartbreak and tears.
When they have become adults on their own,
That protective feeling is there where’re’ they may roam.

And when you hold their young babe to your breast,
The protectiveness renews itself with the little one’s breathe,
The circle of life goes on and the love is revived,
When your babe becomes a young parent. This is good.  This is life.

Remebering your voice
And the tone
The gentleness
Protectiveness
It started up again.

Why?
I was over you
I let go of you
I moved on without you
Why is this happening.

I wont turn again
I go forward
Not backwards
So make up your mind

Just please
Understand
What is past is past
I will be sure
It will
Never happen again.

His eyes were stars in the night sky,
with constellations swirling as nebulas formed,
a mix of the most beautiful, vibrant colors
that collided with each other,
creating a black hole that ****** me in
and captivating me,
transfixing me into stillness.
A statue.
Those eyes paralyzed me
like the ice his eyes were made of
and the stars that created their beautiful glow.
His lips were like scarlet velvet,
soft, full and perfect.
They kissed me with the utmost gentleness
like they were handling a china doll
and as if I was fragile and breakable,
a glass menagerie.
They curled into a smile so sweet and so genuine
that he made me smile no matter what mood I was in.
His hands were unimaginably gentle.
Callused but smooth;
the hands of a guitarist.
They caressed my cheek ever so lightly,
creating an electric spark where his hand once had touched,
an ever so small electromagnetic field.
His hands held mine,
a perfect fit.
As if they were made only and purely for mine.
Him.
Making my heart stop for a second
or turning my heart into a propellor,
breathing in, out,
in,
out,
so fast I feel dizzy.
His humor, one of a clown,
his kindness, one of a kind.
His cuteness, like a puppy,
and his protectiveness,
a part of him that I am very glad for.
He can make time stand still or speed up
until the days and nights run together,
one after another,
one after another,
so quick...too quick.
He is forever on my mind
like a song stuck on repeat,
a broken record repeating my favorite line
of my all time favorite song.
Like a Black Veil Brides song
that someone won't turn off,
yet I don't mind,
because I like it,
just like I like you.
You are he
and she is me.

For someone to say,
Nothing,
For more than just occasion,
through fear of judgement,
or lacking the art of articulation.

It tends then to stun when you admit such fragrance,
The whispers of the midnight hour,
The sweetness of your words caress,
Unlike with others, hold such power.

"I love you" finally means something,
The Hollywood movies,
I deemed as nonsense,
Finally hold such beautiful substance.

"You're beautiful",
Makes me feel how one feels,
When looking over oceans,
With sand beneath my heels.

Your mystery,
Most mistake for inability,
But its there,
Such beautiful vulnerability.

A deepness people miss,
A heart that nobody sees,
Affection and love-filled lullabies,
That bring me to my knees.

Generosity that is famous,
The character of a noble king,
But nobody but me knows the tune,
The tune that your heart would sing.

As you look at me like I am everything,
Like I am sun and wind and rain,
The look in your eyes when someone hurts you,
And you pretend you're not in pain.

The rage you feel when someone looks at me
In that ***** kind of way,
The protectiveness of what is yours,
Like a lion with its prey.

A fierce wolf,
That hunts in the darkness of the night,
Yet I know the young boy inside,
Who feels agony and fright.

I get to see the inner demon too,
He surfaces on occasion,
To tease me with his silly jokes,
And make me weak with his flirtation.

The man who prays for me,
In every single prayer,
The one who'd never let another harm me,
Not a single hair.

See If I told them,
What you sometimes say,
They would never believe me
"No, Men like him could never feel that way"

But I know you,
Every memory etched across your skin,
Every little weakness,
Every hidden sin.

You are beautiful to look at,
This I must I admit.
And to love you,
Like I do,
My heart can sometimes hardly contain it.

You are honourable,
And kind,
You're all the things I want to be,
And that's why my heart does a dance when you say,
"You're the other half of me"

The mystery in his eyes
The story they tell
Wrinkled around the edges
When his laugh takes me away

Every threat he takes away
You can see the protectiveness in his eyes
The ones that never lie
He’ll always be by my side

His eyes are like a song
The one that goes on and on
My heart beat is the tempo to his song
I know he is where I belong

-Joelena Saldana
11/30/14
My dreams are getting bigger and my eyes are refusing to open.

I want to do so much more.
I want to be seen.
I want people to see me for who I truly am.

I want them to see what I'm capable of.
How strong I am,
I can only imagine how underestimated they would be.

I want them to see how big my bravery, heart, love, care, and protectiveness is.

If only they knew, they'd stop using me.
If only they knew, they'd stop trying to control my life.
If only they knew, they'd stop trying to take advantage.
If only they knew, they'd stop using me to try to make themselves look better.
If only they knew, I would no longer stay in the corner, the dark, be the sidekick.

But the thing is, the only reason why they don't know is, obviously, because of me.

I put others before me.

It may be my light, but I'm willing to give it up for another.
I know I shouldn't.
It's a waste of a good life.
But my soul.. It's as if it ONLY carries love.
It's nice, but it's not good.

My soul holds more value.
I just need to let it explore, way more than I let it..

Me in you.
I see.
Me in you.
In things you do.
I'm constantly reminded,
if that isn't you.

You use to do the same thing too.

Same mannerism.
Same outspokeness.
Same on almost everything.
Even when it comes to denying blame.

Me in you.
I see.

From the way you dress.
From your protectiveness.
I even see your parentalness.

Yes, me in you I see.
I guess that will always be.
Especially, when others speak.

Me in you.
They see.

Taylor,

I wish that you could see yourself the way I see you. When you look at yourself, you see your mistakes, your past, your body, etc. You see a guy who strives so hard to be the hero but the cape never quite seemed to fit. And you felt like you could never win, never make everyone happy while at a disregard for your own well-being. You let the things that you’ve been told your whole left take root in your brain and grow into something parasitic. Something crippling and I swear to god when you reflect on yourself you must be seeing the image in a shattered mirror. You look at your body like it’s the remnants of a house. All scrap metal and broken wood. But you are more than stray debris from the hurricane that has been life misfortune placed on you. You are something amazing and unusual, unlike anyone else on this earth. You miss the small things that make you, you. The small freckles on your ears and arms, tiny kisses from the sun, like the universes promise that you are loved. The sun glinting in those beautiful blue eyes, (or green as you’ve told me a million times). The small crinkles around them as you smile, warming my heart and the whole room. Perfect porcelain teeth and a smile as striking and wide as the sea itself, and holds about as much as beauty and life as the Pacific, I swear. I see you in everything around me. I see you in the warm light that drifts in through my blinds in the morning, when I’m wishing you were next to me. In the steam of a hot drink and the first cigarette of the day. Street lights reflecting on cars, small animals, early morning breakfasts- sipping coffee in that little booth, and all those small things that make life worth getting up in the morning. You make my life worth getting up in the morning. No matter how depressed or tired or greasy or ***** I will always find my way back home to your bed. Back to you.

The long story short of this letter is that you are much more than you seem. You are more than the mistakes of your past or the parts of your body you hate. When I see you I see a kind man. I see intelligence and caring and protectiveness. I’m not going to sit here and patronize you and act like you are without flaws, but who isn’t? No one is without flaw and I still love every one of yours. Every part of you. I fell in love with you for your soul and the heart pumping under your ribcage.

You’re only 19 my love. Things won’t be this ******* you forever. All these beating waves are shaping and smoothing the way for something great, I promise.

I love you Taylor James.

Knowing that I will not know,
feeling what I should not feel,
hoping for a dream long gone,
grasping on to a phantom limb,
moving because it is obligatory,
happy out of force and protectiveness,
days drag because they choose,
tomorrow is another thing to loose.

The lungs and the heart are the most important organs
They're the only ones that need extra protection that isn't skin deep
They're the only ones with a cage around them
They need the protectiveness
Want to know why?
They're the only things that requires another person
Because you need someone else to breath for
And you need another person to have your heart beat for
So why not be safe?
Oh right
They're still in a cage

I see bits of you in everything.
My sister's jokes.
My mother's scolding.
My grandpa's stories.
My father's protectiveness.
My brother's hugs.
My grandma's smiles.
You seem to be everywhere.

And yet you're still missing.

"Why can't I just be more confident?"

Let me get straight to the point.

I'm not confident.

I might not always think I'm worthwhile,
But I'm getting there.

I know I'm not terrible looking,
But that is never enough.
I have to be thinner,
My eyes can't be brown,
I need to have clearer skin,
My waist needs to be smaller,
My stomach needs to be flatter.
My hair needs to be softer and have more volume.
Maybe even curl a little.

All these thoughts that I would fight tooth and nail against my friends if they dared to think this negatively about themselves.

I'm a hypocrite, what can I say?

Though I have been conditioned
From the day I could voice my own opinions, from the day I didn't want my mother dressing me up,
To believe I have no value other than my appearance.
To believe that I have no worth as anything but a pretty little doll, and having even that revoked.

My parents would call me "pretty" and "precious",
But when I stood up for myself when they would lash out at me
I was "ugly" and "rude".

They're still like that.
Voicing my opinions around them
Never goes well.

Manipulative friendships and two ex's later,
I'm this way.

I am unsure of everything. Every compliment could be revoked at any second.

Same with any type of love.

The only reason I know I'm better than those who have hurt you,
Is because the only thing I'm arrogant about
Is the empathy and vicious protectiveness in my heart.

But I'll never be
Super confident,
Like the women who reel men in like fish,
Devour their hearts,
And throw them back into the water.

But I know I am strong.
Stronger than you know.
I've been told it's incredible
That I can still be so soft and sincere
And caring
After going through
My own little hell.

And maybe that is my strength.
I still have a heart,
After refusing to sell my soul to Death.

I am confident in at least that much.

The tenderness on your body isn't forever.
But for 16, a curled frown of a fiddled head
fern and forests
just wasted by the sun, your traveled generous thighs
in which we've become to tie boundlessly by.
The innocence and wisdom of the place my tongue has found
there by what all came from;
i'd advise as in the present, I lived in satiation
by the way she lit up candles,
and held my body like warmth
and my heart like glass in this home.

no wonder why our ribs are cages for the heart,
except mines managed to escape and loved so much with the heart
so it consumed me, and she consumed my all I can offer.

"you are way too loving for this world"
soon, your touch on me, firmness, protectiveness, and love
held onto me, searching me out of your tongue, and slender fingers
reaching for mines,
so whatever happens, I pray it will be with you.

Love isn’t always romantic

Sometimes love is playing the song you know
will make the person in the passenger seat
smile just a little bit bigger

Sometimes love is staying up all night
waiting for each new text to come
that says they made it another couple minutes

Sometimes love is letting them have the last piece
of grandma’s special recipe

Sometimes love is reading the book
someone mentioned in passing is their favorite
so that you can have a reason to talk to them again

Sometimes love is telling them your secret
maybe the one you told a few
or the one you only told your heart

Sometimes love is letting the brother you swear is annoying
sleep in your room when he doesn’t want to be alone in the dark

Sometimes love is a showering with the lights off
so you can love yourself without fear

Sometimes love is sharing the jokes you hear
and think they would like

Sometimes love is memorizing your best friend’s schedule
so you know when they are free before you ask
because you know they hate to have to say no

Sometimes love is pushing them away
because you know they deserve better

Sometimes love is smiling when they steal a fry
and rather than calling them out
you steal some of theirs

Sometimes love is seeing a pair of heart shaped sunglasses
and immediately thinking it is totally their style

Sometimes love is waving
at the people in the car next to you on the freeway
at the little kid who asked you for a sucker at work
at your friends in the hall you don’t have class with this semester

Sometimes love is offering to order for them
when their anxiety becomes too much

Sometimes love is putting yourself first
you can’t help others if you are in a million scattered pieces

Sometimes love is sitting in the make shift audience in your aunt’s basement
watching your family put on a concert of toy drums
and jumping up when they pull you on the stage of cardboard boxes

Sometimes love is inside jokes from years ago
you aren’t even sure how to explain anymore
but get you on the floor each and every time

Sometimes love is not holding back
introducing yourself
giving people the chance to be someone to love

Sometimes love is holding their hand
as they get their third piercing
even though they are terrified of needles

Sometimes love is a teddy bear
given from family to the newborn

Sometimes love is walking them down the isle
with a kiss on their forehead

Sometimes love is noticing the words and topics that trigger them
and when they are used
watch for the signs

Sometimes love is watching the children
while the parents take a break

Sometimes love is getting a kitkat from the gas station
when you go by yourself
because they are your brother’s favorite

Love isn’t always romantic
Love isn’t always mind-numbing passion

Sometimes love is the small things
the things you learn
the way you adapt to each person
the protectiveness you give

Love isn’t always romantic
But it's how I love

Your grip is so firm and tight
I can’t even say enough to start a fight

This protectiveness is so present
At first charming, but now not so pleasant

Your concept of space gripping upon me
When you’re gone my sadness is as deep as the sea

You and I are tangled together like vines
Slowly but surely ignoring warning signs

If I leave I don’t know how to survive
But at the same time what if we never thrive?

i confused
honey-dipped words
for unconditional love,

possessiveness
for protectiveness,

holding me back
for wanting me close, (as holding me close)

infatuation
for adoration,

and desire for devotion.

Have you ever wondered why the whole world is lusting over you???

The day you born...
You know you were different...
The one who should have treated you as princess...
Treated like you a prince...
He thought of making a Prince in Princess body....
He made her strong and independent...
Failed to notice what his princess suffered...
Where he saw the young Prince...
The ones around him saw femininity...
They saw the glow around her...
The glow she had when she was happy and smiling...
The ones who hugged her in protectiveness....
Show their disguise in the darkness....

And slowly your glow faded away...
Or you kept it away...
Afraid of being taken away...

And now you can feel the glow...
Pouring outside you...
As you are feeling happy and smiling....
And you are afraid again...
Of lustful eyes...
Which will stare upon you...
And this time be brave and say “No”
— Jonna Adam

Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme nor reason
revisiting mine days of yore,
when protectiveness courtesy
older sibling come
from behind ruthless counterattack.

All equivocation aside,
she/her thirteen plus months
and twelve days
constituted chronological senior gap
eldest sister struck like diamondback
against bullies who targeted me
as a poor defenseless “scape goat”
surrogate "mother" role
assumed tubby exact
protectorate viz pseudo fullback
against cruel foo fighting beastie boys
hurling black barbs
firing verbal slings and arrows.

Escapist exploits to cope
being brutalized, and traumatized
synonymous when Brian Williams,
(not the newscaster,
but neighborhood school chum,
who shared same namesake)
we imagined ourselves
courageous dauntless explorers
while toying with his beebee gun.

Mein kampf one after another
against relentless barrage of flak
comeuppance effected giveback
pummeling spongiform mine
now sixty plus shades gray matter
fisticuffs sister didst highjack
proxy mated mothering
kept corporeal essence intact
jilting nefarious nemesis aligned
jumpstarting, maligning, and stalking.

This fee-fi-fo-fum
bling ordinary bean sized Jack
err runt (arrant) cowardly
(fee lion) dorky and nerdy lad
owning nada knick knack
paddy whack give my dog a bone
a fide scaredy cat,
he/him an aging baby boomer
older married chap doth adumbrate

satisfactory accomplishments lack
king, where crazy
quilt aimless wandering
described purposeless multitrack
thus, sympathetic, and empathetic
to hue men/women nonblack
or decimated aborigines
once populating Australian outback
existential nihilism would,

undergirding hypothetical
unwritten paperback
with little need to prevaricate,
nor appear as quack
***, one measly **** sapiens,
who accrued millennial
palimpsest gestalt zeitgeist
where, punctured, and zapped
disequilibrium created

psyche dust rack
asper protean (in utero)
multitudinous setback
soundlessly resonating
with concussive thwack
as this rickety ship of state
(never confused as fêted junket)
unwanted emotional ballast to unpack
asseveration, asper assiduously

preferably welcoming
dry suction no vac
jarring this pawn (knight wannabe
in his bishop rick) torrid
me psychological wrack
king within (castle keep)
complex edifice shackled
in dungeon with repast constituting
present day long winded conversations,
where she volubly talk yakety yak.

DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, for M.H.K. :)

I sat
startled by the dead rock
talked to its wind, responding with a nod
chatting:
I suppose people out of date
out of stock
been looked at so questioned
what should

a promise I shook
hands with to keep for
good, to keep for worse
already knowing the door handle if the
door stood up for a logical force

for the familiarity to
pertain, individuality speaking about protectiveness of a sword
I suppose myself aware of purple
leaves in certain
to keep the looped
downfall, truly to the word

flipping through leftover
meals to minds sold
experience essenced of trailed up
thought after the show
footsteps pressing footsteps to
the underworld living for one
demolished, two-thirds to go

                                                             ------ravenfeels

Losing you
is the last thing
I want to
do

Protectiveness
is what I
do
best

Every minute
spent
I wish will
never end

You are amazing!
You're a star!
Trust me, I know
that's what you are

Funny, Kind, and Smart
Traits that help
heal a broken
heart

Always there
cause you care
You will never walk
away

Honesty and Poetry healed my broken and blue!

A college is a refreshing start for any individual, especially those who have always been raised very protectively and provided the support of walls and boundaries covering them and acting as their saviors!
A towering Six-Storey, Multi-Sectional Modular building had impacted me sentimentally, reminding me of the protectiveness of school days! The new cray red color of the college walls was acting clean but carried the vibe of significant responsibility for many lives!
I felt a heavy heart that was tired of facing its daily notes and was keen to know what was lying ahead in pursuit of the daily activities at the college!

As I entered the student auditorium, I noticed the colorful banners hanging and decorated on the side walls and railing. It displayed titles such as "Best New Fresher," "Best Fresher Artist," and "Best Model." etc.

"Will you be singing with our group?" she asked. I replied, "No, I don't know how to sing!" Fear flashed in my eyes as I tried to pull my shoulder away from her grip. The girls in our batch shined in Florent colors; they gathered together in the center like a family of a colorful flower bouquet!

The other groups of boys in our batch created a loud sense of showing fashion as they passed by us! One of the boys enjoyed chewing his lollipop - He made a growling sound, funny enough to make other people laugh! He exclaimed, " Watch out! We have to back the first position at any cost."
As he sprinted away in the opposite direction of the auditorium, his hurried movements caused another person's books to tumble out of his grasp, scattering across the ground helplessly like a jigsaw puzzle unnoticed by others as they all were eagerly preparing to begin the program!
I made my way towards the scattered books. My honesty implored me and compelled me to ask about their desolate state.
I lowered my head and tried to silence the inner monologues which continued to yearn! As I glanced at the person I had collected books for,
he appeared fully immersed in his world!
On the other side, My desire to participate in cultural events led me to the stage where my friends had gathered for a poetry recitation.
I suddenly realized I had mistakenly taken his diary as I could feel the weight of my college purse weighing up. Frustrated with the sweat of the competitive events, I helplessly wondered and looked here and there to return his diary.

When I opened his journal with irritation, I was surprised to find many soulful poems.
As I read the beautiful words, I decided to recite a few lines and thought we could all win today. Every poem in that diary seemed to be smiling at me, and I returned the smile while feeling the beginning of a friendship at this moment. Two of my friends geeked into what I was reading so attentively and asked me what I would recite.
Without hesitation, I told them I chose to recite the 5th poem that he wrote, titled "Silence." I greeted the public with the poem and its stanzas, feeling amazed with every line I repeated.
As I started the recitation, I entered a mysteriously beautiful world where the falls from the peak of the hardship mountain felt like the cold fall on the charcoal ground of my broken enthusiasm. I could see different versions of my outlook carrying the saddest ghosts of the past, and those inner eyes of my heart walls began to seep a kinder note beneath their efforts to move on.
I didn't take credit for his work as it wasn't mine, so I told the audience that the writer's name remains unknown!
And in that moment, I felt a wave of peace wash over me, ending the inner war raging in my heart from the beginning of the day! I was relieved!
Until today, I feel grateful for the opportunity to embrace hidden honesty and do the right thing. It gifted me with a grateful start when the owner of the book of poems approached me afterward; he thanked me for not taking credit for his soulful art.

It was a soulful poem written by an unknown writer that gave me a new light and hope. It inspired me to set my heart free from the turmoil that refused to cease initially.

To this day, I agree and acknowledge this newly found appreciation for the power of truth! It is impressive how honesty and Silence can affect and soothe someone so movingly and others who try to feel it.

This incident has always infused me with great zeal as it increases my inner creative activity.
It helps me yearn to explore the untold depths lying at the core corner of any subject and write many poems.

I'm grateful for this experience and the truth's immense significance. Even today, I feel drawn to the allure of that poem because its words have miraculously conveyed honesty.

I'll always be thankful, and that's for sure!
©shivpoetesspriya

You are right, hard as I try. I'm not the bravest. I think in manifests in the little things, like my passiveness. I got bullied, but I think I let them. I did scream, I did cry, I did back away, but I think truth was, I wanted someone to come save me. All those moves, and ironically, I knew taekwondo when I was being bullied. I could have tried more. But I didn't and there goes three years of my life being the hit-bag for a group of four girls.

Even Josh calls me a carpet. A rug. Someone anyone will walk over. For friends like Josh and Faz. They knew my weakness, it was blatant, but they didn't let anyone else take advantage of me. They were fiercely protective. Josh was outspoken when my ex, Hari tried to speak to me. He scolded me for entertaining Hari. I was an idiot I admit, but I also didn't realise where their protectiveness came from.

I was probably a dumb idiot.

It's along those times when I'm hanging with them, playing ball that you came to the court. This was after that conversation and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to meet you. That I wasn't waiting to see you again, to talk to you.

But with the two of them. I felt so so shy.

You are easily the hottest guy I've ever met and it's so much more easier to approach you when I'm alone, rather than when I'm surrounded by my friends. Not very brave of me.

It took a couple of run-in's before I found the courage to talk to you. Ironically, when all my friends were there. And ****, I knew deep down that you were the one, I wasn't that blind to the sparks. But my cynicism kept me at bay. He's older. He's the alpha of any group and you're just a meek little woof.

And later much much later, I'd break up with my boyfriend at that time for you.

You make me brave. You don't consciously do it, you never did but you are always there and that strength you have inspires strength from anyone, love.

I love you.