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"perturb" poems
this door exists, stately and staunchly it stands, disheartening and terrifying it remains. the door is unlocked, yet cannot be opened, for in it, a path in time... one decision that can affect everything [such as my choice to wear the necklace you adore, which lead to you noticing me for the very first time, or my idea to play you the song that you fell in love with, which i can no longer listen to] ...for in this door, one path is intimidatingly located. every bone in my body, every last muscle, tendon, ligament each artery, each vein, each capillary every single nerve, even each microscopic cell, implores me not to open this tempting door... [it is almost as if my hand refuses to grasp the handle, to unleash the unknown upon me, the colossal chain of events that would ensue] the immensity of the unfamiliar, the unexplored, tends to perturb me. change is unnerving and is almost as chilling as an abandoned graveyard at midnight. but i bring my mind back to the door, yes! this preposterous door that i have contrived for myself. why is the **** so easily turned? why does it not put up somewhat of a fight, at least jolt me suddenly, as to frighten my curious heart? it is a constant battle between my body my mind and my heart as to which doors to open and which ones to leave ever so steadfastly closed. but never once has there been such a struggle for them to reach an understanding. somehow my heart, [even though a fraction of me, a fist, dripping in blood] is prevailing for the moment. my heart reaches for the handle, attempts to unclose the door... yet, with the best of its ability, withstanding my strong-willed and obstinate heart, my powerful body and commanding mind overcome this hostile takeover, and the door remains shut. it is my body, my skillful mouth, my soft, rose lips, my elegant tongue, and my vocal chords... all of these pieces must contrive the words, conceive the change, which will unveil the path that will forever alter us... slowly, opening the door. being as in love with you as i am, i will not let you slip away from my arms right now. but when we are not together [*i wish you’d have been there, i needed you there*] i stare at this humbling door. if i wait too long, i’ll forever lose you; for it is you who will make this choice for me, opening your own door, fearless and dauntless.
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Nov 11, 2012
Nov 11, 2012 at 2:40 AM UTC
The Door
this door exists, stately and staunchly it stands, disheartening and terrifying it remains. the door is unlocked, yet cannot be opened, for in it, a path in time... one decision that can affect everything [such as my choice to wear the necklace you adore, which lead to you noticing me for the very first time, or my idea to play you the song that you fell in love with, which i can no longer listen to] ...for in this door, one path is intimidatingly located. every bone in my body, every last muscle, tendon, ligament each artery, each vein, each capillary every single nerve, even each microscopic cell, implores me not to open this tempting door... [it is almost as if my hand refuses to grasp the handle, to unleash the unknown upon me, the colossal chain of events that would ensue] the immensity of the unfamiliar, the unexplored, tends to perturb me. change is unnerving and is almost as chilling as an abandoned graveyard at midnight. but i bring my mind back to the door, yes! this preposterous door that i have contrived for myself. why is the **** so easily turned? why does it not put up somewhat of a fight, at least jolt me suddenly, as to frighten my curious heart? it is a constant battle between my body my mind and my heart as to which doors to open and which ones to leave ever so steadfastly closed. but never once has there been such a struggle for them to reach an understanding. somehow my heart, [even though a fraction of me, a fist, dripping in blood] is prevailing for the moment. my heart reaches for the handle, attempts to unclose the door... yet, with the best of its ability, withstanding my strong-willed and obstinate heart, my powerful body and commanding mind overcome this hostile takeover, and the door remains shut. it is my body, my skillful mouth, my soft, rose lips, my elegant tongue, and my vocal chords... all of these pieces must contrive the words, conceive the change, which will unveil the path that will forever alter us... slowly, opening the door. being as in love with you as i am, i will not let you slip away from my arms right now. but when we are not together [*i wish you’d have been there, i needed you there*] i stare at this humbling door. if i wait too long, i’ll forever lose you; for it is you who will make this choice for me, opening your own door, fearless and dauntless.
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71
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE Book down both my idleness and memories, Come the 52nd summer, through ship to ship The last sail from city to city, the perturb To Contempt Thy will at time remain snub, hath my time being Hoaxed with an irony to bare my dream, for my family, my slug Hit the deepest of my wish, with an arm to an Armor, though my gentle verse never indulge volitionary, What’s Worth in me hath grown, neither my dream Extant, to whom shall I sell? Thy portrait reckon without understanding The captivity my dreams, to whom shall I cry My bootless fate?, Hast thee forsaken me? Thou art trouble me not , Thee Succeed anyone In an unflagging quest for a word, though art’s will For sinners, saint and believers never change
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Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 5:25 AM UTC
soldier of fortune
If the soul is dyed by thoughts, I will rest in my reason. By following my just nature, I will let my desire find its termination. For I am made of the stars. I will let my spirit shine. I am a rising star, not a falling one. I am divine. Nothing outside changes the value of my shining nature. Despite criticism or praise, nothing shall perturb me. My loveliness terminates in itself. My beauty evolves with the seasons. I will love my nature. I will rest in my reason. My flesh desires sugar, but sugar rots the soul. To nurture the character of my mind, I’ll feast on the fruits of wisdom. I’ll feed my soul thoughts ripe in virtue and I’ll let my spirit shine. For tranquility is nothing but a good ordering of the mind. I will not be troubled in any season. When my flesh desires treason, I will rest in my reason.
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Jan 24, 2023
Jan 24, 2023 at 12:53 PM UTC
Rest in Reason
It is necessary to know how to tame her, Shy, careful, secret and reserved, Not very comfortable in a crowd. She possesses this discreet charm, You cannot forget as a viral load. Natural, simple, reliable in her feelings, She needs proofs to be reassured. Her attitude is sensible and direct, An inner life is rich of her life's striking, Where her intellectual sphere takes it, By the elegance of her sparkling creativity, Under the power of her own meditations. She is so rational, ironic and critical, By her genuine metaphysical reflections. She is constantly building on her intuition, In the area of integrating life's solutions. She thinks of being late, but just accurate, Worried in pleasing and in being loved, But just forgets she is part of human being. You can trust her blindly, Because in spite of her side to part, So different and so warm, That can perturb you, And walk away from both of you. She remains your half for all eternity, Even if today this Love has dried up, Keep her sharing gift to love yourself, To be yourself, and nothing else !
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Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 7:27 AM UTC
She
Door is a set-up to detach open and closed,   Door is a make-up to split between outsider and insider, Door is a structure to segregate have and haven’t, Door is an arraignment to cover up sin, Door is a perturb to nature, Door is a device to support legacy of abuse, Door is a tool to manipulate truth for concealing the phony;   Door is a tragedy to humanity to isolate it from bionetwork; Get up and come together to break the door to fortify bionetworks!
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Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 12:07 PM UTC
Break the door
Everyone is odium to empty space Because, It doesn't have anything to convoy! Everyone is disgust about empty space Because, It doesn't have anything to perturb! Everyone have repulsion to empty space Because, Everyone is dithering to talk with self! But I am searching for that, But Incapable to mark out The empty space To talk with self! Searching for empty space For Departing from everything Searching for empty space To Verify my sin and accomplishment! If you have any information Please intimate me With its boundary information and Milestone of air, water, soil and life!
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Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 5:25 PM UTC
Empty space
A term of endearment A pure bread Pedigree Imbecile The firing squad on parade on the thoroughfare The death squads are on patrol for run on sentences and chemical runoff The peer mediators tell us all to calm down The rapscallions try to push us into their get-rich-quick schemes And the shut-ins settle down with their mail ordered brides The wallflowers tell everyone to go to hell with great brio I guess I'll see them there It won't be much of an endeavor It'll be like a dog finding its way home The blood brothers perturb everyone else Telling them their open blood pact is BYOB Then starting a be-in singing Come all ye faithful and Kumbaya It all comes full circle, monkey see monkey do
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Jul 19, 2014
Jul 19, 2014 at 5:26 PM UTC
"Whoa, just take it easy man"
An adroit runner, Living in plethora of hardbound texts, Makes a way - way out, Out of the common mass. Sharing nights in paper, Digging up a hole and cuddling in, An adroit runner Worships the abundance of the ink. She will not perturb herself when time's out. Nights are days. She has no time to speak. Wonder, Whether it cajores her to be stout Wonder, If it cuts her weak. I won't beard the lion's den An adroit runner Will run on and then She will lead me in, So sane.
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Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC
Runner
**** me and shame me then forsake me In loving you I will remember you, never mistake thee mistake thee for a lover with a thin shield... Kiss me at random moments in public it's all so stupid but to love it matters Never neglect to call me to just say hi because to love it matters hold me and squeeze me against your ******* It might perturb a perverted nerve but to love it matters Tell me I'm the one who brings you sunshine not because I am a god but because to love it matters love me when I am pale in pain submerged in ale that drains, all because to love it matters Love me at my strongest and my weakest Keep all my ideas and secrets Tell me I'm priceless for dearest is cheapest All because to love it matters Devoid of ego and mind games; be yourself, let your heart play Let us fall like there has never been heartbreak We are two hopeless hearts searching for the deep where stars are on display a picture with no frame, old as age itself Let us make it to the Galactic Love Lore shelves a story of chance and serendipity trance Not because I shine blue and you're true But because to love it matters... And here love I bring you for few would see the seed sewed from heavenly leaves Watered by Forces while lingering in chemistry and from this tree grows a fruit so beauteous to me I see the bee **** honey when I look into your eyes I see butterflies forming wings on my back, taking me high So high I cannot sigh but glide though I cannot hide this love that cannot die And I cannot say bye so I stay and spend the days watching the sunset Listening to Pacific music playing from ethereal orifices And I will know that this is not for you and me but because to love it matters.
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Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 12:08 AM UTC
But to Love It Matters
**** me and shame me then forsake me In loving you I will remember you, never mistake thee mistake thee for a lover with a thin shield... Kiss me at random moments in public it's all so stupid but to love it matters Never neglect to call me to just say hi because to love it matters hold me and squeeze me against your ******* It might perturb a perverted nerve but to love it matters Tell me I'm the one who brings you sunshine not because I am a god but because to love it matters love me when I am pale in pain submerged in ale that drains, all because to love it matters Love me at my strongest and my weakest Keep all my ideas and secrets Tell me I'm priceless for dearest is cheapest All because to love it matters Devoid of ego and mind games; be yourself, let your heart play Let us fall like there has never been heartbreak We are two hopeless hearts searching for the deep where stars are on display a picture with no frame, old as age itself Let us make it to the Galactic Love Lore shelves a story of chance and serendipity trance Not because I shine blue and you're true But because to love it matters... And here love I bring you for few would see the seed sewed from heavenly leaves Watered by Forces while lingering in chemistry and from this tree grows a fruit so beauteous to me I see the bee **** honey when I look into your eyes I see butterflies forming wings on my back, taking me high So high I cannot sigh but glide though I cannot hide this love that cannot die And I cannot say bye so I stay and spend the days watching the sunset Listening to Pacific music playing from ethereal orifices And I will know that this is not for you and me but because to love it matters.
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Your pleasing melody turned in to an awful ditty. That is when I realized it was time, it was time to let it go. You had turned my butterflies blue. The stars in my sky skewed. I grabbed an old soiled bag from the closet that was untouched. I walked out of the dingy room, that had been my home for years. Home? I questioned myself. How could that be my home when the demon woke me up with new scars everyday? I continued walking. The air was filled with the smell of a stale heart along with which came the first memory. To where it all started. I took it and put in my bag. I ran down the stairs and found another one under the table. Caught hold of it and stuffed it in the bag too. Millions of abominable voices in my head and bleeding hands couldn't stop me. I entered an old room. I walked towards the mirror on the wall behind blue drapes. No reflection, but it showed me what I didn't want to see. It didn't perturb me. I was impregnable and determined. I closed the curtains and locked the mirror in the room forever. By the time I reached the main door I had captured all of the wrinkled memories and fiendish whispers in my bag. The ditty had stopped playing and the stars aligned. I had to get rid of those. I lit my last matchstick and set the heavy bag on fire. I burnt it down which burnt the thirst for eleutheromania. I opened the main door and moved on. I was out of the doorway and made sure that I was never getting back to my old ways.
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Dec 12, 2016
Dec 12, 2016 at 10:14 AM UTC
~ Done and dusted ~
If you find someone new I will bury my head in the sand, so I could no longer think of your smiles several hours of a day when you are with him. If you find someone new I will drown my heart into the ocean, for I swear, I will never love this way again, until that very moment you will be coming back. If you find someone new let me first understand your leave, for the truth will always perturb my nights that an angel like you, has taken me for granted.
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Jun 27, 2012
Jun 27, 2012 at 2:33 AM UTC
If You Find Someone New
...Illegible signatures scrawled...perturb the maven. Of years in the lighting...Bodh Gaya ceremonial candles looking at the same four winds. An earth gone Up...only as You would, and will have it...alighted withstanding. Your very presence of consciousness (which is a mere drop) makes the Ocean of Consciousness rise...with sheer volume...God bless you all.
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Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 2:16 AM UTC
Alighted Withstanding
The jaundiced eyes that yellow skin, won't someone open up and let me out or let me enter in, and be frolicsome,indulge in sin. Time. The *** bellied pig dancing its jig while my bones start to crumble away, Come time and lay with me or do you just play with me, is that the game you prefer? I see you and your hands and those cruel metal bands that you hold and tell me time if you can, why make this man old,why can't you stay, the hours of the hours of the day and belay any thought of letting the minutes walk on right through me, why can't we be friends? You look at me lovingly while plotting to smother me,why don't you just Mother me,nurse me not curse me,don't bother me there are so many others to go out and disturb with your hands that perturb and your chimes only chime to mock at my rhymes. I need more I need more time I implore you to hear me, not sit there and laugh while you hungrily feed on me. The end. It will come just when I started, Aye,aye just when I began to have fun and the bell of the last round has rung It's a knock out a lock out and try as I might there is no way to continue the fight,the referee has decided that time is the winner by three falls to one and thus I am gone. Not forgotten I hasten to say, time laughs and still laughs at me where I would lay and a long time it will be I see that as a certainty. I rest between the pillows of grass,waving willows goodbye,aye and I sigh as will we all, when time gets through with me and you and wipes her hands clean meanwhile, I shall dream of the time when time stops and everything drops into place.
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Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 11:40 AM UTC
The practice shot
The jaundiced eyes that yellow skin, won't someone open up and let me out or let me enter in, and be frolicsome,indulge in sin. Time. The *** bellied pig dancing its jig while my bones start to crumble away, Come time and lay with me or do you just play with me, is that the game you prefer? I see you and your hands and those cruel metal bands that you hold and tell me time if you can, why make this man old,why can't you stay, the hours of the hours of the day and belay any thought of letting the minutes walk on right through me, why can't we be friends? You look at me lovingly while plotting to smother me,why don't you just Mother me,nurse me not curse me,don't bother me there are so many others to go out and disturb with your hands that perturb and your chimes only chime to mock at my rhymes. I need more I need more time I implore you to hear me, not sit there and laugh while you hungrily feed on me. The end. It will come just when I started, Aye,aye just when I began to have fun and the bell of the last round has rung It's a knock out a lock out and try as I might there is no way to continue the fight,the referee has decided that time is the winner by three falls to one and thus I am gone. Not forgotten I hasten to say, time laughs and still laughs at me where I would lay and a long time it will be I see that as a certainty. I rest between the pillows of grass,waving willows goodbye,aye and I sigh as will we all, when time gets through with me and you and wipes her hands clean meanwhile, I shall dream of the time when time stops and everything drops into place.
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Token and sixty-five in my palm, unsure of my departure And how to arrive into the window’s light clearing my iris’s aperture Here I stand thinking of a great deal Upon what has happened this week and how I feel Sitting here on this coach for an hour With the same constants on my mind from before Praise and grace upon this afternoon weather Though humble my mind maybe no longer Upon this seat feeling perturb I glance at the passing buildings and each street’s curb Rather questioning my place in Philadelphia Sadly taking the past and thinking like a pariah Melodies flood my mind, as the flashing rings shined Shuttering lenses remain my view as I began to unwind But from the morning of this Sunday all I thought was that of one Withdrawn, as I stride from a second gone
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Jan 31, 2010
Jan 31, 2010 at 11:25 AM UTC
the excursion of three
In someone's mind there is a place of graves, And farther still a darkened potter's field, Where loved ones in memoriam are saved, And those whose names should never be revealed. I blow through iron bars and paths 'tween stones, To find the carvings of my former name, Which mark the resting place of my dear bones, And date the finite years of my life's fame. More anxiously I blow into the field, Instinctively the farthest place most dark, Where frost and ice have most securely sealed A single mound without a numbered mark. I reach for bones I can no more disturb, Discarded far enough to not perturb. (C)2014, Christos Rigakos
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Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC
In someone's mind there is a place of graves
I saw it drop on my glass, The stone you casted against time to sit on my face.  I  saw it toiling with my glass. When it came, it droped at my feet and eroded into a shameless sand.  I had a sweet chemistry at that time glittering in my soul and today you are in the wind sharing flowers with the earth. I feel perturb at this point.
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Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 7:32 AM UTC
Evil
My Husband You reject me & neglect me You query me & you weary me You control me & annul me You coax me & you hoax me You disturb me & perturb me You vex me & perplex me You taunt me & you haunt me You ignore me & you bore me You blame me & you shame me You leave me & deceive me You cage me & enrage me You invade me & degrade me You bait me & you hate me My lover You see me & you free me You kiss me & you miss me You warm me & you charm me You respect me & protect me You perceive me & believe me You hear me & endear me You mend me & defend me You delight me & excite me You face me & embrace me You esteem me & redeem me You ease me & you please me You know me & you show me You romance me & enhance me
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Oct 29, 2016
Oct 29, 2016 at 7:29 PM UTC
My Husband/My Lover
Lying in my rocking boat, sleep peacefully, my Lord! I see the stormy waves bashing on my worn out boat Pretend  I will, as if storm is only out there, my Lord! Hoping that you still work, when you are fast asleep. Dare not I perturb your peaceful sleep, my Lord! Lest should I be reprimanded for the lack of faith. Drifted endlessly out into the seas away from assured shores Hoping that you wake up, before it is too late…!!!
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Mar 22, 2016
Mar 22, 2016 at 6:10 AM UTC
Is "HE" there in...the boat?
Lead turns into a lighter here, While corruption blackens the fuse, Nothing hospitable, The buried Now are liveable to the factors of badge and gruel! Exuberance of pallets line ten down each row, What a sight to see being so chained down. Cardiac pains, Silent to creep upon Stiller's, An encore for real life movies, Yet this mine friend, is the dominant thriller!!!!! Bland supervision ruins ones child play, What beauty is on the outside? Doth thou remember oh bill paying citizen? Now where doth thou stay futile servant? Pervertist, Comrade to systematic function!!!! Colleagues betray thou for midtown luncheon? Do many perturb you to greatest of all lengths yet? Didst thou trade in dead money for thine new raincheck? Predecessor's are predatory, tenants of hatred filled temples..... Art thouest them? Or art thou thyself? Thy theatrical artista!!!!!!!!!!
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May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 12:02 PM UTC
monetary slavedriver
How vein & narcissistic can I be? Always sad & lonely yet I think women could be interested in me? This is left field, not a representation of reality Is my somber attitude a formality? Hidden from public view behind my frowning veil? Obese, with odd thoughts Striving to be normal or recognized as such Drunk on my own pity & arrogance, I'm quite the lush Complex? No... merely a mutt, that's the **** of life's jokes Mush, mush, I'm a foolish hound In here, there is not a sound Hollow as an empty gym with a bouncing rebound This is me announcing to the world I'm full of myself, how absurd I perturb yours truly A running tab of my thoughts Scattered among my bruised & battered memories Confused is who I'll always be No matter, until I find my next heartache Or perhaps a sullen place? By Axton Rupp
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Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 2:21 AM UTC
A Sullen Place
Tiny feet scrabble across my mind leaving footprints in my subconscious thoughts they perturb me a warning the darkness this way comes haze at the edge of vision blind sides me with a sucker punch as I go down the meds forget to catch me as I hit rock bottom hard and fast spirralling in desperation treading water in my own pooling tears drowning... once twice I sink with no hand to rescue me no lifeline given. Where is the light at the end of tunnel vision where is the hope in hopelessness why can I not just let go inhaling salt into weary lungs and sleep
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Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012 at 9:31 PM UTC
The Darkness This Way Comes
(20 minute poetry) The angel train on the track once again running at six fifty two yet serenity disturbs me angels perturb me what can a poor sinner do? I stare into a night full of demons but am careless with thoughts and there will be because it is so someone who'll find me somewhere to go. Down in the dungeon I hear the chains rattle on walls that are covered in blood soaked graffiti. The twenty first century why bother to mention me why not forget? I **** on a Zube ( no one remembers them ) stuck on the tube this is like being in the Co-op awaiting the vacuum to pluck me up to some dark starlit back room but It's not It's Thursday on the railway going my way? I hope so.
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Oct 13, 2016
Oct 13, 2016 at 2:21 AM UTC
Untapped dimension
I get jealous. When I hear the words, I fear the words. Hold it in, bury it deep, hide it far below. Hope to God my secret keep, hiding in the shadow. Can’t let it out, can’t let you know, Never will I live it down. It strings me along, to the ground, drowns me true and slow. Asking why it bothers does nothing but perturb. Better not to question, better not disturb, Better to ignore the feelings, to lock them deep away. I must ignore this mockery, must not break the seal, Deep inside they must remain, can’t admit the way I feel. I wish you’d stop saying the words, wish I didn’t listen. If only it were so easy, if only, if only then. I wish they weren’t such a sound, I wish that they were written. Then I could simply burn them, light a fire, watch them rise. Maybe then I could escape the words, This jealousy I feel inside.
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Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC
Jealous
My love you are in me my love you are in my prayers I sought you leaving rest all the relations and all affairs It is all because of you I carry all blazon burning flares When you are in my arms you dispel all the despairs I feel all the strength I get from your warmth fortitude You are glory of my company you are bliss of solitude I have full faith in your eyes you are my real certitude I have to carve your curves you are innocently crude Let me take you to a place where no one be able disturb My love you are so romantic, so gorgeous and so superb Your charms are so attractive your sweet cheeks are blurb Your sensual attraction takes me and makes me perturb Col Muhammad Khalid Khan Copyright 2017 Golden Glow
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Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 4:30 AM UTC
You Are In Prayers
I locked you away where you wouldn't disturb my thoughts and my dreams, because you can't perturb what you can't see. Memories Fade and dim; their accompanying feelings can't last this grim arrangement. So, into the dark I sent you. My feelings became colors. First, I was blue; my sorrow was complete, and I thought this: "Yes. This is the pain of a broken heart." I guess I didn't realize the pain of emotions under duress. The chest, in this commotion, can feel pain that no doctor can hope to heal (So, I wondered if that meant my pain was real? It felt it. Oh, yes.). And then I was green. My envy was deep and complete; so profound I became sick with it. I would pound the ground with my fists, hating he who was yours; not me. Then, hating myself for this hate I made free. I hated the hate and, so too, the envy, but, try as I might, they were all I could be. The green in my cheeks turned pink, and the pink red. It was anger rising when thoughts of the dead possibilities crept in. I was angry at my place, at him, at me, at history itself (not the individual events, but the simple concept of things came and went. If "past" was past, if "history" history, it might be us, today, instead of just me.). Rage raged within me, directed at nothing and anything at all. Fists clenched; teeth grinding. I was angry at everyone. Except you. For you, there was only love. Though it is true that I tried to taint, to poison, memories of you and I so that I could strike and seize the advantage of a weakened foundation, eroded and corroded. My salvation would be found as the mental palace I built for you crumbled to ash. My heart met the tilt. Time after time I tried and failed, and I cried out in frustrated anguish before I sighed in resigned defeat. Finally, I was gray. I was lost. I had nothing at all to say. A shadow, an empty shell. I crept along in an agonizingly dull world all wrong. The color was gone. The days were white; the nights were black; the rainbows, just shades of gray. No bite in the wind could match that in my heart. I looked for every - for any - way out. So I booked you a flight. Found a car. I chartered a ship. I sent you away. It was a one way trip. I locked you away; I wanted to be free of this curse your indifference cast on me.
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Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 5:24 PM UTC
Locked Away
I locked you away where you wouldn't disturb my thoughts and my dreams, because you can't perturb what you can't see. Memories Fade and dim; their accompanying feelings can't last this grim arrangement. So, into the dark I sent you. My feelings became colors. First, I was blue; my sorrow was complete, and I thought this: "Yes. This is the pain of a broken heart." I guess I didn't realize the pain of emotions under duress. The chest, in this commotion, can feel pain that no doctor can hope to heal (So, I wondered if that meant my pain was real? It felt it. Oh, yes.). And then I was green. My envy was deep and complete; so profound I became sick with it. I would pound the ground with my fists, hating he who was yours; not me. Then, hating myself for this hate I made free. I hated the hate and, so too, the envy, but, try as I might, they were all I could be. The green in my cheeks turned pink, and the pink red. It was anger rising when thoughts of the dead possibilities crept in. I was angry at my place, at him, at me, at history itself (not the individual events, but the simple concept of things came and went. If "past" was past, if "history" history, it might be us, today, instead of just me.). Rage raged within me, directed at nothing and anything at all. Fists clenched; teeth grinding. I was angry at everyone. Except you. For you, there was only love. Though it is true that I tried to taint, to poison, memories of you and I so that I could strike and seize the advantage of a weakened foundation, eroded and corroded. My salvation would be found as the mental palace I built for you crumbled to ash. My heart met the tilt. Time after time I tried and failed, and I cried out in frustrated anguish before I sighed in resigned defeat. Finally, I was gray. I was lost. I had nothing at all to say. A shadow, an empty shell. I crept along in an agonizingly dull world all wrong. The color was gone. The days were white; the nights were black; the rainbows, just shades of gray. No bite in the wind could match that in my heart. I looked for every - for any - way out. So I booked you a flight. Found a car. I chartered a ship. I sent you away. It was a one way trip. I locked you away; I wanted to be free of this curse your indifference cast on me.
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