I'm crying out but I shed no tears
Notice me, Notice me

Nobody thinks of me
Notice me, Notice me
  
Why do they blame me?
Notice me, Notice me
  
I smile to hide the pain
Notice me, Notice me

My laugh is loud but can't be heard
Notice me, Notice me
  
When it thunders, I sleep
Notice me, Notice me
  
I eat but my stomach never fills
Notice me, Notice me
  
The world around me screams "Wow!" and I ask "How?"
Notice me, Notice me
  
Love for another...Love for another, does it really exist?
Notice me, Notice me
  
Too busy running, too self-absorbed
Notice me, Notice me

Everyone around me unable to see
Notice me, Notice me
  
When everything breaks, I'm left to pick up the pieces
Notice me, Notice me
  
Illusions are the prize and me a tear in their eyes
Notice me, Notice me
  
I count 1, 2, 3...You see
Notice me, Notice me

Last on the list, other things on it first
Notice me, Notice me
  
I walk, I run it matters nonetheless
Notice me, Notice me
  
My roar overflows with words without pages
Notice me, Notice me

I wink at the bright yellow sun as the birds fly by
Notice me, Notice me
  
Look how high my broken swing touches the sky
Notice me, Notice me
  
Subdued by it all, my stillness keeps me afloat
Notice me, Notice me
  
Why me, Why me
Notice me, Notice me
  
Why not us, Why not us
Notice me, Notice me
  
-Najwa Kareem

I notice the tiny pulse of frustration in the back of his neck
I notice the way that he sighs and slumps over
I notice how his elbows splay out so his face bobs lightly over his desk
A buoy dancing over a wave
I notice the way he glances at his friends before he answers
I notice the way he shapes his mouth into a grin before he speaks
I notice how his eyes squint a little when he laughs
I notice how they dull when he doesn’t want to listen
I notice how his shoulders hunch when refuses to hear
I notice the boredom in the lines of his back as he considers
I notice the way his leg jiggles as he bounces his foot lightly
The ever-present dichotomy of professionalism fighting immaturity
Of a thirst to learn, fighting against ignorance, justice calling
I notice this inner battle of boyish nonchalance and masculine defensiveness
I notice how his eyes dart lightly over his chosen comrades before he writes again
I notice the way he presses his forehead into his hand
As though he could pull ideas out
And read his thoughts printed back on his palm
I notice the consistent rubbing against his face with his fingers
Phalanges to stimulate the thought process
I notice the hesitation before his pen scratches the page
Piercing the paper with words he must call his own
I notice the claim of responsibility and the toll it takes on his physique
I notice the fatigue of struggling to create
To feel, to create, to feel, to feel
I notice, throughout all the time I’ve been noticing him
He has not noticed me once

Did you notice the sky was gray?

Did you notice their shoes today?

Did you notice those old rocks?

Did you notice your own thoughts?

Do you notice the wind in you hair?

Did you notice the birds over there?

Did you notice how you smile?

Did you notice your clothing style?

Did you notice the apple tree?

Did you notice the grass was green?

Did you notice the teacher's pants?

Did you notice the minute hand?

Did you notice the shade of their eyes?

Did you notice how you cry?

Did you notice the cleaning staff?

Did you notice your neighbor's laugh?

Did you notice?

I wish someone would notice
Notice the good in me, instead of the bad
I wish someone would notice
Notice who I truly am
I wish someone would notice
The way I smile or the way I laugh
I wish someone would notice
Notice how lonely I am
I wish someone would notice
Notice how broken I am
I wish someone would notice
Notice the demons I face
I wish someone would notice
Notice my actions
I wish anyone would notice
Notice me.

Noticeable

I would notice you no matter the time
No matter the space and mood, no matter the strife

I would notice, if you hid your secrets behind that smile
I would see between the lines, and force my way in

I would notice, if perhaps, you dressed up the fairy tale as royalty with gold and jewels
I would notice, of course, if it were just for my eyes

I would notice, if the days went bye, and I didn't here from you. If suddenly you slept in and missed my call.

I'd notice this, notice it all, your absence, as well as your presence
Your physical being, and lingering essence

I would notice, your flaws and treat them as treasures.
I would even lie and say "I don't notice them at all."Bad hair day, or ugly scar, I would notice.

I would notice the pace you set, try to pick up your trail and give chase.
I would notice the distance between us. If I don't like it, then I'd take a few steps closer.

I'd chuckle, "chuckle" and hope you get uncomfortable. Then notice you are and get closer only to resign and back away.

I would notice your relief at the above mentioned, and of course I would notice, whatever it is, you do cause, I notice you.

XIN218

Notice the way I change when you enter the room.
Notice the way you make my lips curl into a smile when you speak to me.
Notice the way your face reflects so handsomely in my brown eyes.
Notice the way my body shudders beneath your touch.
Notice the way I taste on your lips, lust and desire.
Notice the way that I can’t live without you.

Notice the way I change when you leave.
Notice the way I have no smiles left, only frowns.
Notice the way you can’t see a thing through my glassy eyes.
Notice the way that my hip bones poke through my tee shirt.
Notice the way my lips chap and bleed when you kiss me.
Notice the way that I’m dying without you.

Notice that girl.

Notice that girl who has her long hair left like an uneven tangled mess.

Notice that girl who keeps biting her nails even though they are short and brittle.

Notice that girl if she has water welled up in her eyes, all the time.

Notice that girl if she bites her lip a little too hard.

Notice that girl who has a pair of sweaters and sweatpants put on, often worn and slightly torn.

Notice that girl if she looks like a hot mess but still doesn’t care.

Notice that girl if she seems awfully anti-social, passive-aggressive, extremely fearful and isolated.

Notice that girl for the panic attacks she gets for no reason.

Notice that girl for her unusual affinity towards a good cup of coffee.

Notice that girl if she seems to be an insomniac and is awake drawing circles on a blank piece of paper regardless of 2 am or pm.

Notice that girl who seems to have been lost in her own thoughts even in the middle of a conversation.

Notice that girl who looks like she needs a hug.

And when you finally do notice her, hug her tight.

Hug her as if she was one of your own.

Trust me when I say she needs it more than anyone else.

Did you notice I didn't talk?
Did you notice I didn't smile?
Did you notice my dull eyes?
Did you notice my distant stares?
Did you notice my silent cries?
Did you notice my earphones always there?
Did you notice my work degrade?
Did you notice I started to fade away?
Did you notice I needed you?
Did you even care?
I was depressed and you didn't notice.

Oh, they notice.
Yes, we do.
It just for ethical reason of manners.
We must not admit to the truth.

Oh, we notice the hips, the lips, the walk.
Yeah, men's notice this all about you.

Even with their spouse.
And they about to break their necks not to look.
Believe me.
Men's notice you.

The debate between them.
Is long as they don't touch.
Many feels it's not a big deal.
But on the other hand.
You'll hear the religious segments talking about lusting after them.
When in reality, it's them hiding in pretense.

Men's notice.
Whether within church.
Whether at work.
Men's notice.

Whether in the park.
Or relaxing in the pool.
Men's notice.
And believe me.
Women knows, who's looking too?

To some, it's a compliment.
To others, it's a hinderance.
But either way men's notice.

They always do.
Except, some like to play the blind man game.
As, if they don't see a single thing.

We notice, the eyes, the hands, the skin.
Some even go beyond respect to notice your friends.

Where do this noticing begins to end?

You'll notice him in the busy streets of Peru, dodging vendors and laughing like the sun.
You'll notice her at a small diner past 2 a.m, lost in thought, melancholy notes on their smile.
You'll notice him on a street corner wearing bold colours and singing about the lives he's lived and the fools he's loved.
You'll notice her on mountain peaks, soaking in the wind with twigs in her hair.
You'll notice him weaving flower crowns and writing in his journals, squinting into the hot sky with dew on his lips.
You'll notice her kneeled on the side of the road, comforting a small animal with the voice of sweet honey.
You'll notice them, dancing at sunset, colours streaking across their face.
You'll notice them running through meadow fields in the early hours of the morning.
You'll notice them laughing like the wind, smiling like velvet, with whispfill sparks in their eyes as they sit by the waves at dawn.
They are the sun and the moon
The sky and the sea
Fire and the ice
They're not likely to tell you who's who,
In fact they're not likely to tell you who they are at all.
But even without the spoken reveal
Even without the clarity of meaning,
When you see them.
You'll notice

A child is crying because he can't sleep
But we don't notice
A guy with a wife just got his house taken away
But we don't notice
A mother got her kids taken away
Because the only thing she had was them
But we don't notice
A soldier thinks to himself about home
As a bullet hits his chest
But we don't notice
A man in a suit cries in his car
His date waits for him to come inside
He got the news his mom lost the fight to cancer
But we don't notice
A girl goes to a bar
Guys surround her for her number
She came to drink about her break up
But we don't notice
A man sits at his computer all day
Staring at the screen, not caring
But still cares about everything
He stays silent as his life stands still
But we don't notice
A girl sits in the shower crouched in fear
Fear of what has already happened
Fear of what will happen again tonight
The girl holds her breath then goes under water
But we don't notice
When actually we do.

I play this twisted game when I start to question why people talk to me. I call it “Are you paying attention”. Usually it’s not in person.

I’ll send a Snapchat that if you actually looked at it you would notice my glossy eyes and my red nose from crying.

But you won’t notice

I’ll smile when you tell a joke or I’ll nod in a agreement but you don’t watch my smile fade when I look away.

But you won’t notice

I’ll ask you if you’re ok to see if you ask me back. If you do respond you’ll believe me when I say I’m ok.

But you won’t notice

I’ll stay quiet and not as happy as I like to think I am. Hoping you notice and ask what’s wrong.

But you won’t notice

I want to think that you understand me. That you get me. I want to believe you listen when I’m upset. I want you to care. But when you don’t notice I know you don’t.

It’s a twisted game because you tell me you do care. And sometimes you show me you notice. Or when I’m crying you’re there for me. But if I don’t tell you something is wrong

You won’t notice

Have you ever Know-ticed me?
I mean truly Know-ticed me,
Look through my eyes and into my soul to grasp who I sincerely was, am, and will be?
My internal splendor, no sugar
I don’t think you do…
You may think you know but it’s apparent that you have NO ******* IDEA!
Excuse the cliché but it served its purpose so let’s continue…
Do you Know-tice me?
Do you notice that my pain seems endless, as if the Emancipation Proclamation was just an urban legend and I’m experiencing the 5th century of my peoples enslavement?
Do you notice that my smile seems brokenly forced, only coming to life in the midst of dreams of being shipped home to you?
Do you notice that my heart is internally broken externally hidden only allowing the lurid utterances of, “I DON’T GIVE A *******!”?
Did you notice the trajectory of my tears detaching me from you?
Most importantly do you notice my undying love along with the uncompromising yearning I have for you?
All of which are mere memories like…
Your captivating voice, alluring me into riveting conversations that seems to be unforgettable something I can’t dismiss
Your slow touches
Your penetrating stares
Your unfathomable yet insinuating kisses
Your love or to put it quite simply your care because to love would be entirely too much for you at the time when time was nonexistent in my mind, no clock, I wanted to Know-tice you,
Nevertheless,
No I don’t think you Know-ticed!
If you did you would have noticed how I desire your affection and loath your constant dismissal of my essence
My existence seems to matter not but here I am… waiting and I can’t rest! Believe me you I’ve tried!
But then again maybe you do notice and although this may be the hardest to acknowledge on my behalf, I may have to come to terms that you DON’T ******* CARE!
Meaning… you would fail to notice that I’ve cut all emotional physical and mental ties with my heart only to join forces with my mind creating a relentless partnership against the thought of this empty middle’s sensitivity!
Or, that I can’t look at you without hurting!
Or, that I can’t lounge in your presence so silence becomes my friend, leaving me to become sworn enemies with verbal expression and these relationships coincidently only exists when you’re around!
And finally which holds even more significance, that I treasured you and still do as a lover but MORE as a friend!
But I don’t think you Know-tice!
I need you to know this is my own analysis and reaction to the entire state of our affair. So in response, I’ve come to the realization that you never noticed nor wanted to Know-tice me, everything just happened, it was ALL meaningless. So regardless of what I’ve felt, am feeling, or will feel! You become the commemoration, a constant but unconscious drive, of my callous feelings towards the possibility of ever wanting to Know-tice another, EVER again. I wanted, want, and will forever want to Know-tice you! But that doesn’t matter anymore because you’ll never notice sincerely my past, present or future, you treat them like me who you never did want to Know-tice!

They didn't notice you were crying
They didn't notice you were sad
They didn't notice you were crying
They didn't notice you were alone
They didn't notice how attractive you were
They didn't notice how sweet you actually are
They didn't notice how you actually try to make other people smile
They did notice your failing grades
They did notice your unattractiveness
They did notice all of your flaws
They did notice all your mistakes
THEY DID NOTICE THAT YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM……!

No One Seems To Notice

Finding the world of poetry, really hard to crack,
writing prolifically, but no one seems to notice,
I'll pay my dues, I'll accept the  hardened facts,
I'd gladly except criticism, but no one seems to notice,

Someone please tell me, on just what should I focus,
looking for direction, but no one seems to notice,
should I write about love affairs, or some silly hocus-pocus,
tell me I'm a hack. but no one seems to notice,

I leave messages to Blue Rose, hoping that she'll see,
I'd love to share my thoughts, but no one seems to notice,
I've read her poems diligently, I've shared her fantasy,
her Rapture of a Dream, but she does not seem to notice,

Gomer LePoet...

Notice her beauty.
Notice her love.
Simply notice her.

The one you give your all too.
Probably notice more about you.
And show it more.
Many ladies do.

So it's only fair to notice her.

If someone says, you talk too much about her.
It's none of their concern.
She's the one you love and adore.

And they might just be jealous.
Because they didn't notice her first.

Yes, notice her.
And see the best in her.
Cause you're the one she decided to love

Have you ever wondered how far away it is from here to the moon?
Looking at that elegant thing
So high in the sky.
Have you ever stared at it and wondered, "Why am I so small?"

But of course,
You wouldn't have noticed.
Because I couldn't help but notice,
You were that moon.

You who so elegantly showed your presences to the sad little creatures of Earth,
You who so dared to only make the few of us turn into stars to surround your beautiful elegance.
But I couldn't help but notice,
I was not one of them.

I, the very one person who placed you onto the high pedestal
I, the only person who ever noticed how great you are,
How elegant you were.
I, the sole person who was sent into the corners of the Earth,
Awaiting for you to notice how loveless you made me
Awaiting for you to notice how free I want to be.
But I couldn't help but notice,
How nonexistent my existence is to you.

Because I am just those invisible lines you wished were gone,
I am just someone from the past who wishes to ******* falling stars,
In hopes that they will allow me to take their place,

Because I couldn't help but notice,
While you were out there hanging with your stars,
I was still down here awaiting to be where you are.
But you gave no care to how I feel,
So now I leave you with your stars
And in hopes you'd fine what you've always been searching for,
Hoping that you weren't searching for something that already has given up on you.

Do you know how far it is from here to the moon?
Its about the same distance that separates me from you.
And I hope that one day,
You couldn't help but notice
That, that sad little creature who's placed you so high up,
Won't be down there looking at you anymore,
That sad little creature who's been waiting to become a star,
Has already found a better place,
In someone's elegant heart.

The first time you saw
The white streaks of healed tissue
That ran across my arm, you said,
"I'm surprised but proud of you."

You were proud that I wore them
Like a badge of honor not shame,
That I didn't hide them like others
Did with their own.

Later, we talked about them again
And you revealed how you thought
I seemed to be used to them now
And I didn't notice them anymore.

Want to know what I notice?

I notice how strangers hesitate
When they see me or meet me.

I notice how mothers distract
Their kids when I walk past.

I notice the whispers then silence
When I move my arms.

I notice judgement from people
Who don't know the first thing about me.

I notice the looks of sadness or pity
But never acceptance.

I notice how my heart constricts
Because they don't know my story.

I notice how I hate myself more
For the fact that I am so messed up.

I notice the fact that I'm always aware
And completely unused to them.

The death of a loved one:
You don't get over, just used to.

This--these scars on the body and soul:
You don't get used to, just live with.

When I look in the mirror in the morning,
I feel fine.
I brush my hair.
I am fine.
I brush my teeth,
And I am fine.

Then I notice how my teeth aren’t as white as they could be.
But I'm still fine.

Then I put on my clothes and I notice how I spill over the sides.
But I am fine.
Then I notice how my hips jut out
And my jeans are never long enough in the ankles.

Then I spend ten minutes thinking of changing my jeans,
Because this shirt is too tight
But I opt for a hoodie instead.
Then I am lost in the hoodie.
I feel like a blob of fabric.
And then just a blob.

I get in my car and look in the mirror to adjust
And notice how dark under my eyes are.
When I’m pretty sure they weren’t that dark earlier.

As I drive to school, I notice my hands on the steering wheel
And ponder how they can be both fat and scraggly at the same time.

I get to school and notice people staring at me at the red lights
While I begin to cross the road.

I pass windows and with each one,
I notice my thighs grow larger with each step.
I notice how wide I am when I pass other girls
Then I think about my ankles and I swear I can feel them swell.

By the time it is twelve o’clock,
I have convinced myself that I am a
Bulging,
Suffocating,
Beast
Who tramples everyone in the room.
And the Earth is suddenly too small for someone as big as I am.

I told that when I came out of my mother's womb I was singing.
I was told that I whenever I talk I speak as if I'm telling a story.
When I tried out for every solo in middle school and never got it.
Notice: That never stopped me from singing.
When my best friend ignored my words of wisdom, or told me she didn't get it.
Notice: That never stopped me from writing.
Those plenty of times I've sprained my ankle or was too weak to run another mile.
Notice: It never stopped me from running.
I'm stubborn and that could be a good thing and a bad thing.
I was told by my own family "Shut up, no one cares."
Notice: That didn't stop me from having a voice.
I was afraid to go outside because I was afraid I'd need an ambulance.
Notice: I still went outside.
See when I was a baby I never tried new things.
I didn't take risks.
But I was told that when I came out of my mother's womb I was singing.
Singing to the heavens, singing to the sky, singing all the angel's goodbye.
Notice: Nothing has ever stopped me from believing in myself.

"Notice Me"

Ohh I wanna let you know
That I'll always love you baby

Sometimes I think about
Everything that we've been through
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you I need you
So please don't throw our love away

Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must have been the first kiss
You told me that nobody else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I'm sorry for the tears I'm sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say goodbye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain of seeing you cry

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

All that's mine is yours that's what I said
Treat you with love and respect in everyway
You wanted I gave you need me I was there
Now you treat like if I'm not here
I love you and I need you don't wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more I feel I'm dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life?
I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared
So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there
Just remember I loved you it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

I gave you my good and my bad
My heart and my soul,
My trust my money my time,
What more can you ask from a man
Even when times are hard
I held out my arms and held you
Even excepted you through whatever weather
But now I feel it we're at the end of the road
Whatever we had now I gotta let go
Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall
To cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years
Of loving someone who couldn't love me back
And now again I gotta start from scratch
But I know I've given you my everything

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

He notice.
Oh, you send out the signals.
That he's the one on your mind.

She notice.
By the way you act.
That you want her to be more than an actress in your act.

He notice.
Which he might deny.
Many women honest know the mind of a guy.
What he want?
What he seek?
If he's strong.
If he's weak.
Women notice these things about a man.
Especially, one trying to win her hand.

She notice.
More than a little.
Many can predict if you going to be a good lover.
It could be the tough.
More so the kiss.
A woman notice so very much.
Like , when a man is a good catch.

Both notice the complete truth.
Even if they never complete honest with you.

An exercise in line breaks.  See below

Give me notice (Version One)

Give me notice
For life is short
I might have more to do
Than rest on your doorstep
Hoping you will open the latch
Greet me with a smile
Suggest we spend the day
Viewing the community pond
Feeding the ducks
Cementing our bond

Give me notice
So I will not
Fall in love alone

Give Me Notice (Version Two)

GIVE ME NOTICE

Give me notice
Life
can be short

I might have
more to do

Than rest
on your doorstep

Hoping
you will
open the latch

Greet me
with a smile

Suggest we
spend the day

By the village pond

Feeding
the ducks

Cementing
our bond

Give me
notice

So I
will not
fall in love
alone

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every breath I take feels like it's way too much
Since you're counting down from three
I trust that you'll stay with me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
I'd cut myself if I knew how to bleed
Just because I'm on morphine
doesn't mean my heart is as numb as me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every step I take feels like it's way too far
If you want to hold my hand
as I go then I'll understand

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying  
It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

Did you notice this lipstick I'm wearing?
I know red is your favorite color
Did you notice I filled in my eyebrows
Just for you to ask me out
Did you notice how I went to the gym today
And everyday
Did you notice how I didn't get the extra large fries
Or how I skipped dessert
My stomach is growling
But not for food
Did you notice this new underwear I'm wearing
It was 8 for $28
This concealer I'm wearing is $30
So maybe it can cover the bags under my eyes
From when you didn't text me back
Notice me
Because I notice you

Have you ever realised
How much you notice
When you really start to look.
When you really open your eyes.

You notice the girl
Who wears short sleeves
Exposing her cuts and scars
To the world

You notice the boy
Who is late for school every morning
And hardly eats anything
During the day

You notice the girl
Who always wears long sleeves
Who you hear rumours about
Who holds a handful of pills

You notice the boy
Who talks too loudly
And laughs too often
Yet always looks sad when he is alone

You open your eyes to yourself
You realise that this happy lie
The life you've been led to believe
Is really a cruel and sorrowful place

I’m mourning a love that was dead too long ago.
I was late.
Like I was late to notice that your eyes refused to meet mine.
Like I was late to notice the stiffness in your embrace.
Like I was late to notice that your lips don’t taste the same.
Like I was late to notice you didn’t say ‘I love you’.
I knew things were rough.
But things get rough.
But you get through them as a team.
Right?
Wrong.
But I was late
To notice we were never a team.
I was late to notice that every hope I had In you was empty and meaningless.
Like I was late to notice I lost myself completely to you.
Like you are going to be too late to notice you lost the universe.
Like you will be too late to notice that you had the best thing.
But by then I will be grown again
I will be stronger than I was before and your words will no longer touch me.
You will be too late to reel me in again.
You will be too late to win my love back.
You will be too late.
And I will be just on time.

Notice those smiles.
Happiness and joy filling their faces.
Notice them run.
Run toward freedom and prosperity.
Notice the grass.
How it's greener only where you water it.
Notice the sun.
And how it always shines when I see you smile.
Notice the rain.
And how it falls to wash our troubles away.
Notice me.
Noticing you.
For once, my darling angel.

"To simply notice"

To simply notice my absence
To simply notice the empty seat
That vacated bench in the hallway
The unheard voice missing

To simply notice my presence
So early in the day
I thought nobody would notice that I had gone away
But you did and you stopped just to say

Oh, and of course it had to be you.
You with the eyes of the ocean blue.
I always try to forget you
Because you are simply too good to be true.

But sometimes you make old winters new.
And I just can't stop drowning in your blue.
For years I've been singing the same old tune.
And I'm so young yet my whole life is colored with your hue.

Yet, I grow in a place where new winters are old
And for people like me love stories aren't told.
I don't have the mind, body, or the face.
And only around you do like I feel like a disgrace.

So god help me! Shut these blinds!
I never thought something so excruciating can be so kind.
I guess it just always gives me a friendly remind.
That I will never be worth your time.

But in a hell like this where kindness is rare,
You can always manage to make me aware
That good people like you are out there.

But ******! You ******! Don't you see?
I can't lose sight of what's in front of me!
I can't get my hopes up for things that can't be!
All that brings is misery!

But you come along and you act so sweet.
You are a Naïve demon and it makes me weep.

To simply notice when I'm not around.
When the skeletons on the wall make me frown.
Your welcome is enough to spin me around.
Then make me hate myself and come back down.

                                                                                     - A

notice the convulsed orange inch of moon
perching on this silver minute of evening.

We’ll choose the way to the forest—no offense
to you,white town whose spires softly dare.
Will take the houseless wisping rune
of road lazily carved on sharpening air.

Fields lying miraculous in violent silence

fill with microscopic whithering
…(that’s the Black People, chérie,
who live under stones.) Don’t be afraid

and we will pass the simple ugliness
of exact tombs,where a large road crosses
and all the people are minutely dead.

Then you will slowly kiss me

Let me inspire you.
I want my voice to crash waves in your head.
I want my eyes to shine like the night sky.
I want them to remind you of all the things that could've been
and everything that is
I want you to notice the red in my hair
Secret glances.
I want you to see the warm smoke from my mouth on a cold day
The way I talk when I'm tired.
Let me inspire you.
Let my ideas spark voices and stories in your head
Let my quiet demeanor make you picture my thoughts
Let my smile plauge your mind.
Let my stories succumb to background music in your own.
Talk to me late at night
Pull quotes from our altercations.
Notice me.
Notice the bandages always wrapped around my fingers
Notice when I tug my ears.
Notice how I encourage my hair into my face.
Notice the way I walk
The way I stumble over my feet
The way I stumble over my words
The way I stumble over compliments
The way I stumble over you.
Will you pay attention where no one else has?
Don't make me a wallflower
I want to be the rose on your dinner table.
Your coffee in the morning.
Your warm blankets
I want to be cared about.
I want you to miss me.
I want to be noticed.

honestly, baby, who are you?
you can walk all tall all you want to
but honestly, who are you?
nobody cares what comes out of your mouth
and nobody even listens.
nobody knows your name or the stars in your eyes or how they
glitter and shine like the constellations at night
honestly, baby, who are you?

because let's get real here:
no one really has stars in their eyes because no one has ever gotten close enough to anyone's face to determine the constellations
we romanticize eyes like skies and fields and oceans
we claim that the first thing we notice about a person
is their eyes and the stars that reside in them
but let's get real: that's not how it works.
we notice smiles and laughter first
we notice the bands on someone's t-shirt
we notice the way their hair cascades
the way they stand or loud things that they say
we notice their mannerisms and their pose
their scraped-up knees and the brand of clothes that they drape themselves in
eyes are beautiful
no one has ever fully had the same, that I've seen
but no one ever notices them first, because eyes are like secrets
eyes are like windows
you can admire a house from afar
but you have to get close to peek inside
that's the part that we romanticize
it's the ability to approach and appreciate
but if you're just driving by, you aren't going to note a house's windows but rather its architecture and unique colors
whether it's wood panels or brick or stones
you notice the cars in the driveway before you think about the people inside
that's how it is when we think of eyes
because people are like houses
full of secrets and
when you're from the same neighborhood, the floorplans are all similar
but the insides and the paints and the pictures and the residents
are never the same.

one time I read something that said to fall in love with a person's eyes,
because they never change or get old
but I don't think the author of that quote ever thought of cataracts or clouding or colored contacts or blood vessels popping
everyone changes
we're like phases of the moon or the path of the planets around the sun
every single year we shift and grow close or apart
eyes are like stars, some nights they shine but they also fade away for bursts of time
what zodiac were you born under?
does it determine the secrets hidden in your pupils?
the stars that change their place in the night
are just as distant as a stranger's eyes
I hope that's not what people notice about me first

because I might not know who I am
but I know that I'd rather be recognized
as the girl with the band you like on her shirt
or the smile that is somehow contagious
or the laugh that fills a room
I don't want people to notice first
that I'm just another one of the millions of girls with green eyes.
if you're searching for stars, look somewhere else
because the universe makes me feel small
and if I'm gonna go to space then I'm more interested in the black holes
if you're curious, I'm an aquarius
it's a fixed sign but I've never really felt fixed in this world or in time
I'm a traveler of spectrums
I don't really know what that means
but I do know that it's not found within my eyes but rather the fluidity and gracelessness of my motions
it's in my fumbling tongue and off-white teeth
it's in my clothes and the skin underneath
it's in my favorite foods and the things that I drink

I'll walk as tall as I want to
I'll speak so loud that you have no choice but to focus on the things coming out of my mouth
I will continue to search for stars within my own eyes
because if I can't map them myself then I know that no stranger meeting me for the first time ever could.

my eyes are not stars
because I am a supernova
my eyes are not stars
because I am an explosion
my eyes are not stars
because I am made of a collection of chemicals in a state of reaction
and I can barely handle this one combustion
how am I supposed to be a congregation of them?

your eyes are not stars.
remember that.