"mindfuck" poems
I last saw her in Santiago
******* drunkenly in a Sub urban taverna
parading conceited pride in a twisted union
with that ******** heinous maniacal harlequin
each in vainglorious throes of their imagined septic mindfuck
Debauch celebration of collaboration of succubus and incubus
Some days she is saying Haloa in Hawaii
adorned as Sainti Maria the ***** now as Madonna
spewing words like a dove acting like a Nun in a Convent
the fiendess with two faces hiding her ****** like the ace in lace
the malignant serpent crawling in the duality of her neurosis
I last saw her in Santiago
In a sanctity of the poisoned insecures with exiguous minds
consumed with flaming fears she begs acceptance for inclusion
******* for percieved reflected glory from her fathers' jailers
The subjugated souls of chai wallah lives on in grandchildren
So when Santi Maria flirts from honey to beehive
Ready to ***** and part thighs and brain for minor pointing gun
Feel sorry for a damaged child devoid of a prime core never made
only obeisance to past rulers whose discarded cast-offs she wears
Her poems enchants but its virulent tools she takes in her body
I last saw her in Santiago
A slaved two-faced pretender who sings like a nightingale
In sub urban dives she postrates to friendly pats and gropes
Melting creeps and hot tigers begging subs for a heady drink
Brilliant yet blindsided to **** on knees as her children will too
Copyright@LaurenceA20thSept2018Allrightsreserved.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 9:03 PM UTC
It was the first time we'd seen each other
since we broke up.
We were sitting on a picnic table bench
at the last place we went on a date ,
crying our eyes out.
You saw the tears in my eyes
and you choked on yours.
"What are we?" You laughed through the tears.
"A mindfuck. A glorious, incredible mindfuck."
I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood,
and you pulled me into your arms.
You didn't let me go until I stopped crying.
"I never knew there was a such thing as an intimate hug," you announced.
I laughed.
You pulled back and put your forehead to mine,
and I didn't kiss you.
I stopped myself.
"Are we thinking the same thing right now?"
You chuckled, voice wavering.
I responded, "Yes."
That was the first time I didn't tell you I loved you when I felt it.
I wish I did.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 12:56 AM UTC
Fresh laundry
***** combat boots
Grey ripped jeans
Dark honey eyes
You got a tattoo?? That's so cool
Looking up to you
Listening to every word
Your girlfriend?? Oh… your girlfriend… well, kind of… you know how that goes...
No chance
upset
crying
all alone
You call
Heart beats
Veins jump
Panic
Hi
I miss you
Pulse quickens
You… you do?
Butch
My introduction.
My undoing.
My torture.
But… but you're a girl…
Confusion.
So
much
confusion.
Hatred.
Can't tell mom.
You.
Butch
blonde
soft brown eyes
warm
like dark honey
mysterious
what are you?
who are you?
what are you doing to me?
dreams
indescribable
wake up
soaking wet
you do strange things to my head
I reach down
feels sticky
rubbing
you
you
butchandblonde
and brown eyed
doe eyed
hands moving faster
you
***** combat boots
ripped jeans
you
fresh laundry
tattoos
mindfuck
feel it building
waves through me
you
pushing into me
shaking
fingers lost
you
scream too loud
thank god no one's home
lying there for hours
heavy breathing
youyouyouyou
butchandblonde
Oct 18, 2012
Oct 18, 2012 at 10:57 PM UTC
I've been blocked
well an good
by some obtuse
butthurt mindfuck
cant believe my luck!
but please unblock me
long enough
to delete your unread
message (so I can clean
up your verbal Diarrhea)
It's annoying
to me
as its messing up
the aesthetics
of my screen
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC
I do not control my mind
my mind controls me.
I am simply a vessel,
a container for rage
fear
a subject to test
I do not control my mind
my mind controls me.
Jul 30, 2012
Jul 30, 2012 at 1:20 AM UTC
She's tapped into another realm
Sitting on top of the world
Resonating the astral plane
At least in my mind
She's above me
So divine
A crown wrapped in flowers and gold
Diamonds in the sky
Cut through the noise
and crack down to shatter the Earth
Looking pretty amongst the chaos
She catches my eyes to bring the temptation of the Goddess
Always within reach
but afraid to touch
to release
Let go of everything
This is where our souls intertwined
The tango of our 9-5
Looking forward to breaks in reality
Our survival mechanisms
From the bottom to top
Where her crown connects realms of telepathic foreplay
A mindfuck of sorts
Black and blue balled by the true cowardliness of reality.
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 4:03 PM UTC
I pity anyone visiting us with
A language besides English;
Who tries to understand the words
We like to use with relish.
We seem to say so many words
Just to keep our lips busy.
It occurs to me the so much of it
Has never graced a dictionary.
Upscaling, downsizing
Offloading the whole magilla
The whole nine yards, bottom liine
The big honcho, the whole enchilada
I was completely plussed and then
I had my self a hissy fit
I didn't know I had a flabber,
'Til someone went and gasted it.
Hanging out, kicking back
Into myself and whatever
***** it, man. I am like, wow.
And y'know, yodda yodda yodda.
Some mean kinda fudpucker
Betcher bippees, yabba dabba doo.
Mazoomas and headlights,
Totally hyped megabitch, too.
Talkin' about 'sup bro
Stufflike windas and winders.
Jammin and gittin widdit
And sumpinbout pillas and pillers.
So, I goes and he goes,
And I'm all jazzed and by golly.
It really rocks, rad to the max
Get down to some serious party.
Sixes an sevens, p's and q's
What's your point? Get real!
It's pretty much a ******
So, what's the big deal?
Too much, I mean it's tough,
And stuff, and really far out, man.
Twenty three skiddo old bean.
Just a flash in the pan.
It ***** It blows, It bites, big time
A wicked righteous mindfuck.
Get jiggy with it. Kiss my crank;
Slob my **** Lord Love-a-duck.
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 5:24 PM UTC
Just an equation,
A Simple theorem.
A little misbehaviour,
Outside the decorum.
.
I add and provide,
Hoping we never divide.
At the geometry, I stare
Just a mindfuck of a square.
.
A slight cross multiplication,
To bond upon this attraction.
To help develop the postulates.
Of your mere subtraction.
.
I integrate & derive,
It's the formulae I'm deprived
Of. The questions always lead to me and you.
I always end up in my four sided cube.
- Aks, in math classes.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 4:38 AM UTC
Tick
The days pass, without my consent it seems, but the hours themselves tick by only slowly enough to make you aware of their existence
Just slow enough to check the clock twice in one minute- a little too quick to remember the time you just checked twice.
With every blink of an eye, a billion seconds pass. And every second brings with it the minutes that drag endlessly into semi-existence.
The void in which numbers are crunched into value, and value placed on the non-existent merely because we are able.
Tock
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 14, 2012 at 10:19 PM UTC
Into all this absurdism
I find myself wondering
Why I´m trying to understand
The non-existence of everything?
Watching some clouds
Empty spaces
By the light of the moon
Writing nonsense words
Mindfuck mind
Wake up and make a peep
Drop words between the lines
Why am I still here?
Strange ideas in my head
Writing my blues
Nice ride above us
Still showing more clues
Taking a walk on my deep side
Enjoying this ride
Psychedelic intercessions
Still open my mind wide
Nothing is enough
I can´t decide
Feelings and lines rough
What I wanna write
Looking for the meaning of nothing
Tasting more wine
Am I losing my senses?
It is Braking my mind
Seeking for a spiritual meaning
Waiting for sign of divine
Seeing my mind shining
Lost and blind
Falling in the middle of words
Deeply vibrant sense
Meaning of nothing
Suspension without suspense
Height intense
Verses are meaningless
Looking for the meaning of nothing
Again it makes a little zero sense
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 11:44 PM UTC
Sometimes I'm not sure
The battle between
Right and wrong,
What is best
It's confusing
And kills time
Debating
Baiting
Anticipating
Go with your heart
When there is ***** involved
Explain yourself
Life isn't fair
Those are the rules
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 2:14 AM UTC
*throe me
sapiditous
to the heavens
with your
suspense driven
mindfuck
thrillers
blue
bitter-sweet
twists
and
slow teased
bitten
kisses
arcing
me to
stardust*
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 4:21 PM UTC
Hollow is the rube . . .
To be bereft of one's soul,
. . . What a pure mindfuck.
Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 2:16 AM UTC
Hacked
Every hook
Every cue
Every one of my references and internal pantheon
He's wired into it.
How did that happen?
He's a stranger
I didn't even know he existed two weeks ago
And yet...
He gets it so right every time.
~~
self referential
I like it when he writes of me. To me.
That curly feeling.
His revelations, and the mirror held up.
Tribute, affection, the wry smile of a stranger.
The slightly bonkers obsession and fascination.
Glimpses of a convoluted mind.
~~
Rib Ice
Standing on thin ice
Peacoat open, arms wide
I step into that hug
Burned by warm skin and hard ribs
Even more by his kiss
He likes to hear me moan
~~
Whose mindfuck now?
Are my actions consistent with my words?
Am I as I say I am?
Do I mean what I say, or am I playing you?
How's your ******** detector?
cards on the table time
abdicate or defecate
ante up
~~
headlong
He leads me on a scavenger hunt, insinuating, enticing, pulling me into dark corners to kiss me and probe me intimately, until we're off to cross the next threshold in this trip...
I have no idea how I got here. Turned round, disoriented, down the rabbit hole.
~~
Deep Purple
On the way out
Curious discoveries
Door handle sticky
Musk in the air
Who's that knocking at my back door?
~~
Goddess, lit
I like this intimate touch I have on your mind and emotions. It makes me feel powerful and protective of you. And pulls me closer in.
When you say I am a goddess, your goddess, I suspend disbelief and nod in acknowledgment and agreement. Yes, of course. In those times, I know I am powerful, wise, feminine, and mysterious, And that you are before me, kneeling, clasping my legs, leaning on me, head against hip and belly, worshipful.
And sometimes, you clasp my wrist as I'm turning to go and pull me back, quietly certain and not to be resisted. Inevitable. And then what? Kisses? Your hand on my breast bone? Gently steadied to meet your gaze, interminably and for no time at all?
I begin to believe you won't vanish.
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 2013 at 11:45 AM UTC
I just want to know your soul
Your mind
And all I get is a sarcastic mindfuck
I just want sweetness
And kindness
And a little bit of vulnerability
I want to know I'm your world
And that I light up your life
That you couldn't live without me
And I wonder all of this
While you snore next to me
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 4:12 AM UTC
It's not easy to revisit our memories
I am not quite sure why
Maybe I actually did love you
Did? Do? Done
I don't know
Maybe I didn't and
It's too hard to admit
Maybe I am a mindfuck
That just likes playing games
Feeling empowered
By breaking bones and hearts on my way up
Seeking control when I'm feeling lost
Maybe I'm ashamed
Because I know I hurt you badly
I kept blaming you too
"We weren't right"
"You were too dependent"
"You were too invested"
Maybe it was me
I don't know what I feel
I don't necessarily regret the break
I do miss you sometimes though
We weren't great at the end
We were definitely something though
Maybe I miss your friendship
Getting ice cream together after it all
That's a memory I can't forget
It was hard for us both
I never told you that though
How do I tell you that
I didn't think we could be friends
Because I couldn't handle it
When it still doesn't mean we should be together again?
Maybe it really was the pressure
"Soulmates"
That's a loaded explanation
You know I crack under that kind of intensity
It's not your fault though
It's easy to desire the untouchable
Especially once you've touched me
Maybe we will never speak again
Maybe we will
Either way I need you to know I'm sorry
Genuinely
Maybe it's because I recently felt
Something similar to the way you might have
Because when someone you love
Desires another
It could **** you
Maybe it was easy to delete the pictures
Simply because I am running away from memories
Maybe I don't want to face these demons
They always catch up eventually
Please just remember
You are strong
You are worth love
You are beautiful
You will find someone who treats you right
You are enough on your own though
You deserve everything good and
You will survive this storm
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 5:50 AM UTC
What I would give
To crawl inside your brain,
Lay next to your dreams,
And sleep with your soul.
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 8:50 PM UTC
Dear Alex,
I awoke into this world with a broken heart, that's the problem. Not you. I won't ever remember a day before because I've always been like this. Not fragile, just broken. I was okay with just ******* you but I won't ever be able to handle your feelings on top of mine. For the first night ever, I slept at a guy's house, didn't **** him, let him cuddle me even when I was sober, even when my skin felt like it was on fire, spent the day with him and listened to his thoughts and it made me want to cry or puke or cut myself straight down the middle and pull out my soul and replace it with someone else. Someone better. Someone more human. But instead I laid there curled into you and tried not to cry because you needed it from me. But I could already feel it. I could already feel myself sinking away from you. And my head. Oh my beautiful head. It kept telling me, "Don't do this don't do this don't do this." But my heart. My nasty heart. It kept humming, "To who?" Very still. Very still. But then you started tracing your fingers down my skin and it started to feel like it was crawling away from me. From you. And so I told my heart and head, "it's already done." And I left. And when you kept calling and texting and asking me I was ok because you cared, I threw my phone at the wall in front of me after sending "I am toxic." I can't handle your care. It's a bit ****** for me to say but I can't handle anyone's care. And **** I miss you. I miss getting so high with you that my head felt heavy but after I left you, I spent three days in the fetal position under a pink blanket trying not to cry. You took all of me that night. And you didn't even do anything. You were just there. Please don't hate me but dear god please don't love me either.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 10:46 PM UTC
everything i feel is a Molotov cocktail
then, here, and now
and i don't love him,
but his tongue is full of violets and he says he could blow my mind when we're on a different frequency than this
and i carve his spine into a crescent moon and etch my initials under his tongue
does it make a difference?
a belly full of flowers, missing love.
go back to your first love, tell her you never want to leave her, rid her of the longings that brought her to her knees; was i that to you?
and i don't love him, but he's here and you're not
i have turned him from a prayer into prey, a box of cypresses split in two
but does it make a difference to you?
i'm only a few hundred miles away, sticking my fingers in electrical outlets to remind me of what your lips felt like on my hands.
i don't love him, but he's dark energy, a mindfuck.
i don't love him but i bet if i turned off all the lights in the room he'd glow in the absence of it; and i'm trying not to think.
they say vampires can't see themselves in mirrors- is this what i've done?
the monsters slide back beneath my bed, and even though they stay quiet when we touch, it still hurts me too much.
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 1:21 AM UTC
The cigarette I had afterwards
Felt better than every time we had *** combined
Basically,
I'd rather get cancer
If having *** was getting ******
I was drowning in it
But somehow you're okay with me ramming my **** into your skull
And this letter will be the mindfuck
Let me extrapolate
So extra!
pull those sheets off the bed late at night because you made a ******* mess again
And I don't enjoy laying in wet sheets
Because having to hold your head out of the toilet when you threw up from partying like a Highschool sophomore got old pretty ****** quick
And having to be the answer to every problem you had
trying to tell you how to fix it on your own
Was like handing you a loaded pistol, helping you aim at the target,
And then watching you shoot yourself in the foot
If sitcoms were ****** tunes
And you were still too simple to get it
That'd be my favorite ******* show
Until it bursts through the tv screen and moves all its baggage into the room where my writing desk used to be
I can't wait to beat the *** of the love child you thought we had
Shake and wake it up
Tell him the tooth fairy doesn't exist
And no matter how much **** she talks
That he will walk away with less money in the end
And all it will take is a fleshy hole to remind him of her
Your sugar daddy has a cavity
And before I replace it with a tooth wrapped up in a gold ring
I'm pulling you out
I guess you'll know what it feels like now?
Because for every time you made an excuse
I ran around in circles to
made sure you were happy
And when I got to the end of the marathon
You made me take you by the hand and walk to buy you ice cream
“Daddy” is not for grown ups
So don't act like it was serious
All you did was child's play
You wanted me to be a single father who ****** his daughter's brains out every night
And bought her toys whenever she wanted
If that was love
You were a game
And I got played
And.
it's ******* disgusting
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 3:54 PM UTC
Do not ever allow yourself
to reduce the incomprehensible miracle
of your very existence
to basic questions of self-worth.
Do not ever allow your boss to write you off
as nothing more than a worker
who is failing to meet
some arbitrary set of expectations.
Do not ever allow a bully to tell you
that you are nothing more than a child
lacking in physical strength.
Do not ever allow a politician
to boil your being
down to a cheap distillation
of inside jokes and snickering, racist
circumlocutions.
The fact that you are here,
today,
alive and present
and reading these words
is a stentorian, staggering miracle.
We are,
all of us,
perhaps guilty
of occasionally forgetting
this fundamental fact.
But we must remember,
you and I,
and every other being with us,
that we sprang forth from nothing—
absolute oblivion—
into awareness and consciousness
and individuality, and personality
in this gargantuan, freezing, largely empty universe.
Allow me to remind you
that that idea
is entirely incredible—
the purest void was somehow spun into
the totality of your being—
into the infinity of the present moment—
a Möbius-strip mindfuck
expanding outward in space and time
reaching toward all directions simultaneously.
The fact that you and I are here is miraculous.
And the fact that you exist is a miracle.
Do not ever let
our sickly civilization
try to tell you anything to the contrary.
Oct 3, 2019
Oct 3, 2019 at 11:19 PM UTC
My therapist calls you a mind-fucker
You know how to get under my skin
Into my brain
And scramble neurons
These months are the hardest
The detox
When every cell inside of me is craving you
Your name appears once more
Finish me off next time, would you?
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 5:44 PM UTC