Tick
The days pass, without my consent it seems, but the hours themselves tick by only slowly enough to make you aware of their existence

Just slow enough to check the clock twice in one minute- a little too quick to remember the time you just checked twice.

With every blink of an eye, a billion seconds pass. And every second brings with it the minutes that drag endlessly into semi-existence.

The void in which numbers are crunched into value, and value placed on the non-existent merely because we are able.
Tock

at least it was sooner than later
at least you never got the chance to hate her
blissfully ignorant and that's the way it'll stay
you couldn't look her in the eyes, what does that say?
it says 'run away, it's more than you can handle'
it says 'run away, before it erupts into scandal'
it says 'stand clear, damaged goods coming through'
it says 'nothing to see here, nothing novel, nothing new'
it says 'for ***** sake, stop being so true'
it says 'no seriously, stop being so you'
it says 'what were you thinking? she thought you were nice'
it says 'she does like you, just not "like like"'
it says 'you better stop believing that your baggage is charming'
it says 'you better stop thinking that your story's not alarming'
it says 'that although your life isn't over, you may still wish it was'
it says 'wishing never solved anything, even with just cause'
it says 'better learn your math'
it says 'you're not the hero'
because any number times you is still zero

too much or not enough
happy medium an unrealized ideal
too much or not enough
only extreme is how i feel
too much or not enough
shades of gray remain
too much or not enough
no color, black and white exclusive
too much or not enough
is one foot off the ledge
too much or not enough
is the gun against my head
too much or not enough
is my tongue run down the knife
too much or not enough
is the story of my life

it's only deep in the night when my mind wanders most that i ponder why another night of drinking alone is the status quo.  it's when i wonder why the wheel that started spinning so long ago keeps spinning, in the same direction and general speed.  deep in the night is when the doubts and regrets run rampant like rioters through the square, flipping cars amidst flaming tires.  it's when the needs and the wants clash for supremacy, assuring the mutual destruction of each.  loves lost carve their names into my neocortex.  where dreams unrealized fill their time by playing ping-ping until they're ****** from the backburner to manic importance.  deep in the night is when blood-shot eyes and blaring computer monitors have a staring contest.  deep in it, thought becomes reaction and the beans spill accordingly.  knee-deep and we're ravaging the calm into frenzy and burning the books of our beliefs and abandoning rationale in favor of the spectre of immediate gratification at any cost, at any loss.  deep in the night where no light penetrates, things become somehow illuminated.

Puckered like your sweet and sour apple agitation
drowned down by your wine turned vinegar libation
armed with a guilt-driven sorry that topples nations
made clean of ****** hands bleached self-justification

today is the day that I give it all away
when tomorrow is today I will pray and I will say
if fate is this path, then from this path I will stray

sometimes in lies we often find the truth
sometimes in opinion we often find the proof
sometimes you're only intimate when you're most aloof
every time you watch the clock you feel the loss of youth

today is the day that I gave it all away
when tomorrow is today I will pray and I will say
until yesterday is tomorrow and today is a week from may

don't try and passify, invalidate and spin
don't hesitate, pontificate and everybody wins
don't just focus on the obvious
it's not just me so it must be us
i'll wait in the car, don't make a fuss
until yesterday is tomorrow and today is a bust

how do you justify a head spun so spun from a virtual verbiage virtually vindicating a long lost ideal supposedly lost in the war, practically lives ago.  closed eyes like picture frames for a face so quickly etched into their very own new and nervous neurons.   novel indeed but hardly new, reminders and reminiscence of made mistakes recovering from the back burner blindside.  yesterdays regrets dont matter much in this dream and a refusal to awaken is the only option.  it's only what you've been waiting for if you recognize it when it passes you by on the boulevard.  Numerous enough are my days for me to understand the importance of open eyes for blinking is risky with this vision.  ice ages have taken hold and regressed since the last time that friendly chemicals werent responsible for such an onslaught of smirks.  the concept of "we", of "us" something subsurface unseen yet present with a strong presence presenting preconceptions upturned and made moot.  you frighten me in the best way.  the best kiss my lips never received, from the pacific with love.  from the sea itself.

Walgreens pharmacy girl
your upturned nose and your hair pulled back
here to pick up my prescription and a snack
Walgreens pharmacy girl
Ive been coming here for years
and every time I leave the drive-thru I'm in tears
Walgreens pharmacy girl
For so long, I've loved you from afar
yet still I have no idea who you are
That's Berger, B-E-R-G-E-R
Walgreens pharmacy girl
My date of birth again?  I would have already memorized yours
I'd remember our anniversary, put the toilet seat down and do chores
Walgreens pharmacy girl
Am I anything to you besides another bottle of pills?
I have to know now because not knowing just kills
Walgreens pharmacy girl
Will you refill my prescription for love?
Basking in a pharmaceutical moonlight, under the stars above
Walgreens pharmacy girl
I need a cure for what ails me
You've given me a fever and I'm feeling a bit dizzy
Walgreens pharmacy girl
No, I don't have any questions for the doctor, but I have two for you
What time do you get off?  And what time would you like to?