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"meshing" poems
Her nails digging into the tree, her legs opened wide. He sunk deep within, filling ever inch inside. Mating calls meshing, moans and grunts rent the air. He begins to move faster, while pulling on her hair. *I can't believe he's this deep inside me, It's so **** heavenly, I burst out with a primal scream. It's like a fantasy, I'm living out my dream, All those ****** novels I read, Pictured through my mind, He pulled my hair even harder, I came almost instantaneously* Her essence flowed freely, Surrounding him in liquid heat. His thrusting became faster, and the pleasure was Oh so sweet. Hard as a rock, one more pounding ****** He sank into her deeply, and explodes in a rush. *I could feel his hot seed, Filling up inside me. The exquisite pleasure almost made me come once more, He leaned his entire weight into me, His breath on my neck was felt to my core, I realized I never asked his name Yet, he'd pleasured me like never before.* "I have seen you from afar, to shy to say a word. Still, I know your name not and feel kind of absurd." "I have seen you looking and have noticed you too, I wanted you for awhile, and didn't know what to do." He kissed her then, softly upon her lips. Holding her against the tree, still joined at the hips. **I drip as I grip onto your hips, while I nurture your nectar and sip Your ****** has me going crazy, 'cause I'm craving to be lazy and lay on my back while you ride me, but I think I might have died This pleasure makes me feel like Heaven, and I won the jackpot like 7-7-7 Your depths are coming down upon me, while I sew some of my sticky seed right into your box, with me begging, "Baby, I swear I'm gonna make you mine, 'cause you have me feeling so sublime."**             ~To Be Continued~
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Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 12:06 PM UTC
Finally Mine Pt.2 **** Sunday ********* ~~~ Collaboration with Natasha ML, Featuring Frank Ruland
Her nails digging into the tree, her legs opened wide. He sunk deep within, filling ever inch inside. Mating calls meshing, moans and grunts rent the air. He begins to move faster, while pulling on her hair. *I can't believe he's this deep inside me, It's so **** heavenly, I burst out with a primal scream. It's like a fantasy, I'm living out my dream, All those ****** novels I read, Pictured through my mind, He pulled my hair even harder, I came almost instantaneously* Her essence flowed freely, Surrounding him in liquid heat. His thrusting became faster, and the pleasure was Oh so sweet. Hard as a rock, one more pounding ****** He sank into her deeply, and explodes in a rush. *I could feel his hot seed, Filling up inside me. The exquisite pleasure almost made me come once more, He leaned his entire weight into me, His breath on my neck was felt to my core, I realized I never asked his name Yet, he'd pleasured me like never before.* "I have seen you from afar, to shy to say a word. Still, I know your name not and feel kind of absurd." "I have seen you looking and have noticed you too, I wanted you for awhile, and didn't know what to do." He kissed her then, softly upon her lips. Holding her against the tree, still joined at the hips. **I drip as I grip onto your hips, while I nurture your nectar and sip Your ****** has me going crazy, 'cause I'm craving to be lazy and lay on my back while you ride me, but I think I might have died This pleasure makes me feel like Heaven, and I won the jackpot like 7-7-7 Your depths are coming down upon me, while I sew some of my sticky seed right into your box, with me begging, "Baby, I swear I'm gonna make you mine, 'cause you have me feeling so sublime."**             ~To Be Continued~
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57
She was always a chameleon soul Black Orchid Eyes, shadows, vulnerabilities Of heroine chic, Juxtaposed with an embracing Self Of mutual weirdness Meshing voices from The past Nostalgic memories for Behind the camera A lady photographed A younger self, Mirrored reflections of The lady she had graced Into through the Ages, Where contemplative deliberations Iconic wonders, flashed through Her mind With each click the metamorphosis Click;         one                 two                         three Twiggy, Edie, Kate Transformations; a sorcerers magic, Contradictions;                         body                                   mind                                             soul Mirages amidst reincarnations Never a remnant of the same For, the lady behind the lens Unseen A ghost veiled in black; The Black Orchid. © Sia Jane Dedicated & written for my darling friend Cara <3 For she shall know love <3
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Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 11:36 AM UTC
Black Orchid
You are the pure soul of 5 year old girl awed by the infinity of the starry sky. You are the poetry that I humbly try to translate into words. The scent of your neck intoxicating my senses, The bad girl tempting one to sin the sweetest sin of all. The magic number of our passion, old Chinese symbol that finally reveals its truth. Sweet flirt and ***** thoughts, Eyes and eyelashes, The fear of my fears. A forest baby doe scared and confused in the jungle noise of animal screams, The idol in my dreams     My thoughts are like butterflies landing on your ******* your neck, your back, fluttering up and settling on the bottom of your tattoo, crawling below… the texture of your soft skin and the hairs on your legs standing on their end.     You are the Flamenco music that I can’t listen to anymore, the guttural songs linking us to our primal ancestors, drums and clapping like the whole world applauding for you and me. The love chart that tells it all.     The day you held my hand, in front of fifteen hundred people, And the most beautiful scene, alone in the cinema stall, touching an irresistible image imprinted in your mind.   Transparent lies that make me smile, temptations away, the love that we seek where we can’t find it – sweet irony of life.   You are the punishment you beg for being a bad girl, Your risks, masochistic game that makes you feel alive, a life feeling like running fingers through hot coals.   Your unrestrained dialogue with your sub-conscious, painful and rich, open window into your soul for the magician to read it.   The power outside me and you that has connected loose threads of our hearts, the Yin and Yang clashing and meshing like two birds becoming one. You, wild beast unafraid to devour yourself and your pray at the same time, fearless, insane, addictive.   The dream of holding hands.    February 2, 2013
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Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 11:15 AM UTC
Twenty-three portraits I painted of you
You are the pure soul of 5 year old girl awed by the infinity of the starry sky. You are the poetry that I humbly try to translate into words. The scent of your neck intoxicating my senses, The bad girl tempting one to sin the sweetest sin of all. The magic number of our passion, old Chinese symbol that finally reveals its truth. Sweet flirt and ***** thoughts, Eyes and eyelashes, The fear of my fears. A forest baby doe scared and confused in the jungle noise of animal screams, The idol in my dreams     My thoughts are like butterflies landing on your ******* your neck, your back, fluttering up and settling on the bottom of your tattoo, crawling below… the texture of your soft skin and the hairs on your legs standing on their end.     You are the Flamenco music that I can’t listen to anymore, the guttural songs linking us to our primal ancestors, drums and clapping like the whole world applauding for you and me. The love chart that tells it all.     The day you held my hand, in front of fifteen hundred people, And the most beautiful scene, alone in the cinema stall, touching an irresistible image imprinted in your mind.   Transparent lies that make me smile, temptations away, the love that we seek where we can’t find it – sweet irony of life.   You are the punishment you beg for being a bad girl, Your risks, masochistic game that makes you feel alive, a life feeling like running fingers through hot coals.   Your unrestrained dialogue with your sub-conscious, painful and rich, open window into your soul for the magician to read it.   The power outside me and you that has connected loose threads of our hearts, the Yin and Yang clashing and meshing like two birds becoming one. You, wild beast unafraid to devour yourself and your pray at the same time, fearless, insane, addictive.   The dream of holding hands.    February 2, 2013
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32
When most people think addiction, They think cigarettes and nicotine, They think Alcoholics Anonymous and pain killers gone wrong, They think gambling, *** and **** They think addiction and they think of use versus abuse After all the dictionary definition of addiction is: "a strong and harmful need to regularly have or do something" Something Maybe that's why it's so hard for people to see that my lack of use is just as much abuse as the overuse of something. They don't know that it is just as addicting to keep refusing food, as it is to keep drinking alcohol. They don't know that keeping too small clothes in the back of the closet, Hoping that one day your body will mold into them again, Is just as dangerous as meshing oneself into someone else just for the night, but someone else the next. They don't understand that counting the calories is just as consuming as counting the grams. So don't tell me that my eating disorder is not as addicting as drugs, because cravings to be thin can be just as strong as someone's cravings to be high. The feeling of an empty stomach, can be just as great as the feeling others get while watching **** Don't say that my eating disorder is just for attention, because just like addiction it could very well **** me.
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Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 3:59 PM UTC
Addiction
lit by the sunlight is none other than your skin, intertwining with that of my own, meshing in the air is our thoughts and beliefs, and our future being carefully devised before us, it's not hard to think ahead, or at least dream ahead that perhaps just like right now, our skin will still be touching as you lay softly next to me in five years time, it's nice to think I will be happy for more than this moment can last and perhaps you hold that key, its just up to you to use it I know you more than I know myself, despite you thinking differently, your smile glows brighter in my thoughts than it does in the sunlight overwhelming would be a word to describe you, you've seen me in light, whereas others have only seen me in the dark thinking realistically maybe this won't last forever, nothing does but I can dream
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Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 2:55 PM UTC
key
porcupine, devil's receptionist, your splinters are aching again. manifested figure, you are alien. more so are your actions. I am thoroughly impressed by the displays of your affections boldly handing them to me, so rudely beautiful, and my limbs are too shocked for movement. each layer within me shifts, black goes grey, blue goes green, brown goes red and gold, weeds become sunflowers, the ground below us begins to heave, volcanoes splinter and split down their middles, ridges of lava gasping for air, bubbling, black to grey to white to blue and purple fire. sweat, we sweat but we don't catch flame. sweat, and I am liquid at last. sweet, considering possibilities, shuffling my vocabulary like cards in a deck, preparing myself for the most difficult game life could offer, preparing myself in tender fragments of flaky crystal. words become thin glass in my mind, and I begin to feel the cuts in my throat,  climbing up my tongue trying to create some movement, even if that movement is pain. movement has suddenly shook my bones out of their choke hold. I gasp for air, grasp on to what you hold out. your outline against my insides at last, your third eye cracked open and I see behind and through the meshing that takes place. I see so much that I am blind, torn with black and white. I close my eyes with good intention: I am black. more dark than thorn roofed ships, smashing against waves made of shadow. I open my eyes with impression and find you white. more white than the ghosts in my bones, winter shivers back with thoughts of you. I close my eyes with good intention. I tire more and more my head weighs down with all the color. I want no more black or white. you tire more and more your head weighed down by holding your colors in. we become tectonic and all goes grey. ashes of what we felt that day aches of what we did morning reaches my empty lids, you've taken all I could say with your silence. a plague. a bartenders keep. I saw you again before the moon, I even saw you standing beneath it's reflection, staring.
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Sep 5, 2013
Sep 5, 2013 at 10:45 AM UTC
tender rising
porcupine, devil's receptionist, your splinters are aching again. manifested figure, you are alien. more so are your actions. I am thoroughly impressed by the displays of your affections boldly handing them to me, so rudely beautiful, and my limbs are too shocked for movement. each layer within me shifts, black goes grey, blue goes green, brown goes red and gold, weeds become sunflowers, the ground below us begins to heave, volcanoes splinter and split down their middles, ridges of lava gasping for air, bubbling, black to grey to white to blue and purple fire. sweat, we sweat but we don't catch flame. sweat, and I am liquid at last. sweet, considering possibilities, shuffling my vocabulary like cards in a deck, preparing myself for the most difficult game life could offer, preparing myself in tender fragments of flaky crystal. words become thin glass in my mind, and I begin to feel the cuts in my throat,  climbing up my tongue trying to create some movement, even if that movement is pain. movement has suddenly shook my bones out of their choke hold. I gasp for air, grasp on to what you hold out. your outline against my insides at last, your third eye cracked open and I see behind and through the meshing that takes place. I see so much that I am blind, torn with black and white. I close my eyes with good intention: I am black. more dark than thorn roofed ships, smashing against waves made of shadow. I open my eyes with impression and find you white. more white than the ghosts in my bones, winter shivers back with thoughts of you. I close my eyes with good intention. I tire more and more my head weighs down with all the color. I want no more black or white. you tire more and more your head weighed down by holding your colors in. we become tectonic and all goes grey. ashes of what we felt that day aches of what we did morning reaches my empty lids, you've taken all I could say with your silence. a plague. a bartenders keep. I saw you again before the moon, I even saw you standing beneath it's reflection, staring.
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57
What is hoped trickling between splintered crags of hard matter as between slabs of sliced I like water through the desert crust the beginning-end fusioned whole? it resplendent through the cracks? What might be enough for its time being might be the first loosening a knot’s dissolution beginning unwrapping light and breath deep underground after prying like suffocation the thing loose, never budged, still you yanked, pulled, screamed, spumed, more than frustration through your fingertips. For the brain, don’t be fooled, s’more the psychedelic fruit than just saying apple computer the pulpous embryo of imagination feeding what seed, sprouting tendrils, protracts without desire (but causing desire) ever outward, growing, clasping, (hinging on unhinging) meshing an electric net and collapsing a shock they say until the taste of its taste is so succulently pungent that after hours of dull mumbling its projection upon the mirrors it bursts in puffs of screams short tense contractions [image fizzing, over-heating]. Like a cracked computer reading an animal program: *Alpha Beast of the Ill-Illusioned*. Or: *Runt Wolf of Gaia, the Undarwinian Survivor*. Software ones and zeros digitizing the command: Must do the act cannot be done. Till it breaks. Unimagined.
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Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 8:11 PM UTC
Over-heating
Gears turn The unnoticeable increments Cogs meshing with cogs Under the surface Unseen But felt For too long
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Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 1:38 AM UTC
Waiting
in a meadow on the bluffs little stars clutch clinging to earth and sky all for us the eye. petals are rolling in on misty winds surprise more for the eyes, and all of meadow so live above is tapestry higher than sea colours meshing with leaves birds, bees, faces of flower scents of sweetness in air a patch of ground bursting for you and me with poetry
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Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 3:29 AM UTC
All For The Eye
I went to this funeral the other day and had a blast, the black suits contrasting the pale faces of those shocked by death, meshing with the warm red of crying eyes. Hot sun flashed through the stained glass illuminating the carefully chosen mahogany bed where the lucky one slept.  I cannot picture a more beautiful scene. And it only gets better! Family coming together, joined with emotion, seeing old friends and meeting new ones The young and the old both dressed in Sunday’s best captures a timeless cycle. What is there not to love? My funeral is going to be the best. Come one, come all – everyone’s invited! The low hum of the cellos creates an ominous tone overpowering the occasional sad sniff, thankfully. Stop crying you pathetic things and come laugh with me.
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Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 5:36 PM UTC
Sunday
Not merely soulmates, matched and equal, but two halves of the same soul incomplete without the other. Intricately woven links, platinum meshing with layered silver. Breath-stealing, life exuding, divine. 'Oh, the tales that will be told of this love.' Hesitant, wondrous and cheerful, the strings of unstructured consciousness circle. Living, imagining and eternal. Revelling. Crisp, pure and untainted joy.
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Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 9:33 AM UTC
To encircle and embrace
You drew me in, in that special way you do Pulled into your space without resistance A deer in headlights in total awe of you Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean Beautiful and harsh, full of passion Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection The sweet taste of your lips on mine Makes butterflies swarm my whole body Hidden nerves, corner kisses, crossing the line We don’t mind, and it’s fun being naughty So to you I raise my glass Cheers for bringing me intoxication A toast for every slap of my *** A smile, for every bit of our infatuation
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Dec 19, 2018
Dec 19, 2018 at 9:19 AM UTC
Deer in headlights
I should.... no, can't        can't     can't won't. refuse actually. do I like hurting? is there a reason I don't just move       on normally when goodbye is said, twice, it means you leave as in put one foot out into space and pull      down see what happens, see what passes. well, I really wasn't ever normal knew that from the start but this? I'm on an edge. this thinned pathetic rim that looks to me a bit u   n      sta b l e clearly                         [not clearly] there is a problem or something broken I'm dealing with it, but let's be honest sometimes it feels like I'm meshing with it blendingintothisbigmess that's so hard [for me only] to separate forgot about that- have to be more specific [for me only] is this still more than a bad taste in my mouth [for me only] it stripped me of common sense [for me only] I can't sleep at night All I want to do is          be free free to either walk through a day and not think your name name   name        name               name name or free to fall into your arms at the end of the day every day whatever I know I talk to a wall                                       wall and I'm here              wall           and you're there                                        wall                                        wall and I swear I'm putting all I have into [insert "letting go" here] but instead- trying to understand why I can't leave you behind
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Nov 21, 2011
Nov 21, 2011 at 1:36 AM UTC
normal
I should.... no, can't        can't     can't won't. refuse actually. do I like hurting? is there a reason I don't just move       on normally when goodbye is said, twice, it means you leave as in put one foot out into space and pull      down see what happens, see what passes. well, I really wasn't ever normal knew that from the start but this? I'm on an edge. this thinned pathetic rim that looks to me a bit u   n      sta b l e clearly                         [not clearly] there is a problem or something broken I'm dealing with it, but let's be honest sometimes it feels like I'm meshing with it blendingintothisbigmess that's so hard [for me only] to separate forgot about that- have to be more specific [for me only] is this still more than a bad taste in my mouth [for me only] it stripped me of common sense [for me only] I can't sleep at night All I want to do is          be free free to either walk through a day and not think your name name   name        name               name name or free to fall into your arms at the end of the day every day whatever I know I talk to a wall                                       wall and I'm here              wall           and you're there                                        wall                                        wall and I swear I'm putting all I have into [insert "letting go" here] but instead- trying to understand why I can't leave you behind
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49
T-Together they'll create a lovely moon W-Wonderful is their adoration's boon O-Oneness of love this pair shall festoon H-Harmonic shall they be together   E-Exquisite of a meshing love tether A-Abiding in all kinds of weather R- Resplendently matching with other T-Tenderness their eternal soft feather S-Special the song of amity's heather B-Bounty and plenty e'er they'll possess E-Elated this pair in joyous congress A-Always to be in the realms of fullness T-Twined by braids to true loveliness I-Infinite the land of affection's prettiness   N-Naught shall blight their gleefulness G-Glories shared in a bower of sweetness A-Aligned in all that they say and do S-Sublime the narrative of these two O-Of love's serenade they'll endlessly play N-Nicely coalescing in each and every way E-Ecstatic this their devotional interplay
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Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 6:29 PM UTC
Two Hearts Beating As One (Acrostic Poem)
The flame In his chest The same To the rest But twisted As he was Blessed But gifted With inferiority And was horribly Conflicted Of the message He was meshing With the decrepit Feeling Of his fleeting Half stepping To the Recollections Of his blessings That he was tempted To dissect From the crowd Inflicted Despite the Shroud Of clouded Bouts Torn from The panicked **** Of the phobias He knew they were scared of And glared Right through them Before he opened up His coat And started shooting Proving Others wise In the silent Reprise Of 45's And nines He smiled In the exile Of fear Escaping Through The fading Lights Of dying eyes In the wild Surmise That with each Trigger squeeze Eased him Into shame As he Aimed To please For the release Of lives Crawling For the Finished Lines And in gorgazmic Slitherings He delivered The final blows With power ups And scores Progressing The killing As he reloads With shrilling Grins And stints Of compassion Fashioning The rationed Satisfaction He received From the screaming Mothers and babies Brothers and maybes Splattering On the plastic trees Of escalators And skeezes That laid shuttering Headless Upon the exits Of his Insurrected mind And he was just fine With dying In kind And he was just fine Shining from The shrine Of Santa In a sonata Of solidarity To the led Soldering morals In a story Of victory And of Personal glory For the lords Of defeat Seething In the completeness Of a defeatist As he stuck The heaters In his mouth And was out Without One doubt As to what Nothing Means
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Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013 at 5:38 PM UTC
Courage
The flame In his chest The same To the rest But twisted As he was Blessed But gifted With inferiority And was horribly Conflicted Of the message He was meshing With the decrepit Feeling Of his fleeting Half stepping To the Recollections Of his blessings That he was tempted To dissect From the crowd Inflicted Despite the Shroud Of clouded Bouts Torn from The panicked **** Of the phobias He knew they were scared of And glared Right through them Before he opened up His coat And started shooting Proving Others wise In the silent Reprise Of 45's And nines He smiled In the exile Of fear Escaping Through The fading Lights Of dying eyes In the wild Surmise That with each Trigger squeeze Eased him Into shame As he Aimed To please For the release Of lives Crawling For the Finished Lines And in gorgazmic Slitherings He delivered The final blows With power ups And scores Progressing The killing As he reloads With shrilling Grins And stints Of compassion Fashioning The rationed Satisfaction He received From the screaming Mothers and babies Brothers and maybes Splattering On the plastic trees Of escalators And skeezes That laid shuttering Headless Upon the exits Of his Insurrected mind And he was just fine With dying In kind And he was just fine Shining from The shrine Of Santa In a sonata Of solidarity To the led Soldering morals In a story Of victory And of Personal glory For the lords Of defeat Seething In the completeness Of a defeatist As he stuck The heaters In his mouth And was out Without One doubt As to what Nothing Means
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124
Mellow,/ good riddance,/ no lyrical sides/ their call, heaven/ fall,/ with cigarette word- lapping,/ boat too close to the wall/ circumcising by verbals done/ up dying,/ Child us a sandbox of sense/ stretching holding/ out on a ghostly hand/ We are the walls/ place Poetry finds acute vivid lining/ verses, our eyes meshing/ hole unclenching/ Killing lectures about it, how dictionarising/ And Le Clézio’s wing alive/ abide/ Taking flight/ ~
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Sep 1, 2020
Sep 1, 2020 at 7:11 AM UTC
Lilac/Core/Fastening
*At one moment in time   she was poetry in motion, 'til she pirouetted herself   unto dusty shelves midst old clouded rhymes    & recollected love notes yet, there were echoes   glistening 'tween strands    of web's interlacing design, meshing her finessed   past within gossamer's complex entanglements   amid labyrinths of     ancient symphonies she dances, still ~   silently in her head flirting with destiny        albeit, not as grand*
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Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 8:05 AM UTC
She dances, still ~
I’m in a limbo. A state of equivocality. Everything hangs in the air, but I try to chart my daily course as I normally do. Times are tough. Uncertain, too. Notwithstanding, I’ve taken more than I can chew. I’m in too deep. I’m in a dark place. You see, I was the golden child. A beacon of light. Envy was nothing new to me. I rarely espoused it, but was the oft object of it. Little Miss Perfect – always so put together. Always has her things together. I have Midas Touch, they say. I’m on a plane higher than my peers – on a dais atop the average twenty-two year-old. I can do no wrong. Only upwards from here. So they say. So I thought. Today, my days bleed into one another. Sunday? Monday? What difference does a name make? I run on two hours of sleep and three thirty-minute naps a day. I don’t wake up to my 5 AM alarm. Nor sleep through it. It throttles to life as I hurriedly read tomorrow’s later’s assigned readings. I might get some sleep in. I rarely do. Finish your readings. Finish your work. Finish your classes. Eat in between. Objectively, I’m in a good place. Roof over my head. Food on my plate. More importantly, safe. No 40-degree thermometers and sputum litter around. This makes me feel worse. Ungrateful ***** Little Miss Drama Queen. A million would **** to be in your shoes. I’m in a limbo – my brain encased in a cloud of humdrum trepidation. Filled to the brim with silent thumps of dread. Thump. Thump. Thump. It’s not as if I did not try to do better to feel better. I do – I always do. My lists abound. #SelfCare’s always on top. Thump. Thump. Thump. They do little to quell my panic room of a mind. Sometimes I wonder if this is how watercolor pigments feel. They are always so vivacious off of the manufacturing press. The reds are constantly vibrant and the blues are consistently resonant. But they fade when water comes into contact – even meshing into an ugly grey on the canvas when they touch the other diluted hues. I’m in a limbo – no sense of past, present, and future. Everyday is a low frequency static hissing at my ears. Wonder child soddened by the somber. I’d build a rocket, they say. I’d own the world, they say. All I am is tired nowadays.
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Jul 29, 2021
Jul 29, 2021 at 5:25 AM UTC
Languishing
I’m in a limbo. A state of equivocality. Everything hangs in the air, but I try to chart my daily course as I normally do. Times are tough. Uncertain, too. Notwithstanding, I’ve taken more than I can chew. I’m in too deep. I’m in a dark place. You see, I was the golden child. A beacon of light. Envy was nothing new to me. I rarely espoused it, but was the oft object of it. Little Miss Perfect – always so put together. Always has her things together. I have Midas Touch, they say. I’m on a plane higher than my peers – on a dais atop the average twenty-two year-old. I can do no wrong. Only upwards from here. So they say. So I thought. Today, my days bleed into one another. Sunday? Monday? What difference does a name make? I run on two hours of sleep and three thirty-minute naps a day. I don’t wake up to my 5 AM alarm. Nor sleep through it. It throttles to life as I hurriedly read tomorrow’s later’s assigned readings. I might get some sleep in. I rarely do. Finish your readings. Finish your work. Finish your classes. Eat in between. Objectively, I’m in a good place. Roof over my head. Food on my plate. More importantly, safe. No 40-degree thermometers and sputum litter around. This makes me feel worse. Ungrateful ***** Little Miss Drama Queen. A million would **** to be in your shoes. I’m in a limbo – my brain encased in a cloud of humdrum trepidation. Filled to the brim with silent thumps of dread. Thump. Thump. Thump. It’s not as if I did not try to do better to feel better. I do – I always do. My lists abound. #SelfCare’s always on top. Thump. Thump. Thump. They do little to quell my panic room of a mind. Sometimes I wonder if this is how watercolor pigments feel. They are always so vivacious off of the manufacturing press. The reds are constantly vibrant and the blues are consistently resonant. But they fade when water comes into contact – even meshing into an ugly grey on the canvas when they touch the other diluted hues. I’m in a limbo – no sense of past, present, and future. Everyday is a low frequency static hissing at my ears. Wonder child soddened by the somber. I’d build a rocket, they say. I’d own the world, they say. All I am is tired nowadays.
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11
They don’t make cards for us Pre-made poems with cartoon animals Telling jokes that aren’t actually funny But we still laugh, because, yeah, that’s just like us Candy hearts never say ‘we love you’ Or ‘I love you both’ or ‘be ours’ Matching rings aren’t sold in threes Puzzle-heart necklaces are split down the middle For him and her and What about me? Ours is not a Hallmark love With two hands clasped and fingers meshing But we still walk together Hand in hand in hand And I hold hers behind your back And we lie together Like a row of knocked over dominoes Three people no longer bothered By the strange stares and confused glances Because what we have is better than that So who cares if they don’t make cards for us I’ll make one myself With a puzzle heart on the front Broken into three Drawn in three strange colors That people wouldn’t normally put together But that, when combined, become something beautiful And I’ll laugh, because, yeah, that’s just like us.
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Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012 at 12:37 AM UTC
Not a Hallmark Love
Lust lines crease Your serpentine eyes Slits of desire Smooth and quiet Not quite  Brash and rough and wet and messy Thrown together in a backseat  Lust lines crease My face From falling asleep on the Seatbelt Red and puckered An echo of other images  Remnants of the meshing Lust lines crease Your tousled limbs Form fitting cloth Whoops. Not yours Trade and cover the lust lines Make up on both of us.
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Jul 8, 2012
Jul 8, 2012 at 11:51 PM UTC
I Wasn't Yours. You Weren't Mine. And It Felt So Right. (Lust Lines)
Waterfalls precipitate upon cinnamon film Meshing with legions of tales Forth sways a vibe only I can feel Waterfalls precipitate upon cinnamon film As to the mountains I flee to heal A sign I was unwell Waterfalls precipitate upon cinnamon film Meshing with legions of tales
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May 16, 2012
May 16, 2012 at 4:16 PM UTC
Elohim
It can transcend the physical world. It resonates and vibrates, echoing between souls. But it's more than chemistry, it's alchemy. A meshing of being, the combination of two disparate elements in creation of something new. Something different that makes everything around it different as well. A light in oppressive darkness and a shade in harsh light. We both know of it's existence, we're not strangers to it's presence. The very opposite, we know it down to it's atomic makeup. Like I know her, like she knows me. What every touch does, what every look means. We know the name of this thing, like we know each other. And yet we just stand and enjoy, too breathless to name anything.
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Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 10:37 PM UTC
Intermingled Fingers
Ready treading. Banking Heaven. Higher heading onto Seven. Connections are blending. Rapture sure to capture all turns to mending. Free for all beach sand meshing. Flesh is blessing Love Living. Respect creatures. Beings less than or equal. Keep on giving people brother sister love her miss her sweet swisher on my lips. Ears open. HEARD Meditation key to worlds of blankness, tranquility. Are you feeling?
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Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013 at 1:22 PM UTC
Oceans