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Pen Lux 5d
I knew today would be different
when my skin turned into hummingbird water
as I sweat my stress out beside you
never wanted to have the memories so close
the ghost of tangiblity brought me back in time.

As I felt myself grow in the place I once broke,
I couldn't help but hope you'd appear before me.
The adoration is fading, but this heart can't get enough
of this cyclical heartache that's hurt me so much.
Loving you is easy when you're not around.
The ghost of you keeps me daydreaming
and I'm lost in the clouds.

I seek sunsets and starlight,
moonlight walks through the trees.
I seek for your sunflower eyes,
but it's nothing but blue seas.
I'm lost in a dream,
but I can't lose my steam.
My love is bold and waiting,
this time, it's patiently.
Pen Lux 5d
oak trees dropping
thorns today
the pine is my friend
in the shade
the weeds I pulled
left me bleeding

to see you
jaw dropping
to hear you
my end
to feel you
my undoing

so here's a letter never sent
mull: a verb : think about (a fact, proposal, or request) deeply and at length.
Pen Lux Sep 28
oke
I found myself crooked,
splayed for you to take.

No longer contorted,
comfortably displayed,
after baked .
Pen Lux Sep 22
She was a sunset
layered colors in the clouds
amused to attune to my muse
stunning hues
as I pay my dues
with due diligence
as I accept what I must refuse
lighter blues
all the same as it was before
brighter
     just because
fresh eyes see better at night
scattered moonlight gathers
as my heart sings
Pen Lux Sep 3
My city exists on the outskirts
Where the conversations chirps
Can't reach me
Prayers for guidance
as my feet tap
  tap
Asking is knocking
While seeking direction
I breathe a little deeper as my heart raises vibration
Can't touch me
As I change directions
Moving through obstacles
Fluid, lucid, no longer ruined
I release my arrow
Refusing cupid
Can't catch me
No longer drinking myself stupid
I soar through the unknown
Flashing my new wings
As proof I've grown
This hermit
steady working
Has some repairing to do at home
In lands not much greener
The grass still grows
Pen Lux Sep 1
protected in this fragile state,
wind rushes through me,
echoing a heartbeat

my past companions
entagled in my integrity
have begun to spin faster

strands of web
alchemized to gold
as full moons appear
and fade

counting the stars
one by one, day by day,
endlessly,
as the years pass.
until our goodbye
is no longer poisioning.
until our goodbye
fertilizes new growth.

the passion in blooming
was once my undoing,
yet, no longer so looming,
or damning, or dooming
as I swing hard, heart heavy,
and prepare to take flight,
over the Sea.
bite me,
soaring bullet, straight arrow,
striking hard, falling hard,
tongue sharp,
grab the tarp for this new heart,
it's healing faster than you can tear apart.

words *****:
sticky, messy, hot and heavy.
vibrant smile, searing red.
I see you
seeing dread.

grey today, but with a shine,
a flash of your smile in my dreams.
turn me sideways.
I'm seeing you, loving you,
in nightmares until daylight.

no longer settled with,
"what's left of me?"
no longer longing for what was.

I'm amused, my muse,
no longer confused
with the parts of me that struggle
when I'm reminiscing you.

A love, once loved,
never unloved.

I began decaying in the process of
trying to love another,
when I never stopped loving you.

Letting go of what doesn't serve me.
I'm creating space
as I grieve what it means
to let that love breathe.
Pen Lux May 29
brown born and alive again
the dirt hums as nature shifts
tectonic lifts and cease pulling
everything within me tips
as my head nods to his musings

feelings bubbling up
can life stop being confusing
the terror in our meeting
as your eyes capture my soul
the taste of lemon in my mouth
too many seeds to plant
so I spit them out
and watch them fly
as far as they can go
expanding horizions daily
who knows how big they'll grow
I'll lay back and lay out
put my heart on display
but not hand it out

poppies growing in the cracks
that create when we meet
face to face, then back up
taking distance
reminiscing on the missing
that's caused by all that is missing
as you light the spark within my heart
reviving the passion I thought was unlisted
but now it's here and it's knocking, annoyingly persistent
if you get my jist and find that list, could you pen me in?

clear the page and clean the sheets
turn the clock and blow the roof down
tell me it's now without words
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