"incapacitating" poems
A gentle breeze
Forever remembered
A luscious glade
Cold under your feet
A rich blue sky
Seemingly unreal
Beautifully arousing aromas
Tasting without touch
Pleasingly soft sand
To bathe yourself in
A sensuous bed of leaves
To wrap yourself in
A pleasurably warm ocean
Stimulating your senses
Lustful love
Forever wanting
Incapacitating desire
Depriving your concentration
You lose yourself
In natures tempting ways
Seducing you to stay
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
<>
you pout and defer, dancing backwards,
claiming, blue is now blackened
from underuse, incapable and incapacitating revival
*saying eyes cannot see, distinctly, neither near or far,
the tremble of love, forgot & distantly absent,
but I know, a heart’s sensory muscles never die,
though weaken they might, underused, un-exercised
denying that inspiration
no longer resides with in thy sensitivities,
has fled, undercover of smoking forest fires
all the diurnal hazards that invade, occupying
my internal spaces once filled by poems
you conceived, birthed, in a pleasured haze,
came so fast, you bare recall agony accompanied,
but not the ecstasy of the end resultant!*
***you know it’s you of whom I write, but,
a note not shaming names, but messages
countless private messages have I sent
begging, beseeching, give me your gifts***
once more, you owe me not, though I
oft irritate with my deafening pleas,
yet only denials continue, my pleas ding
but dent not, the tired fear of your exposition
so speak to you plain,
feed my soul selfish
like in years gone past,
there are holes in mine
that require your elixir,
creamy softness that moistens
my face with tears of your words
originating, astound, enfold**
not later, not soon, not excusals,
write for me NOW, WRITE FOR YOURSELF,
but leave me not forsaken and thirst un-slackened,**
Answer! To whom do you owe your poems?
Jun 11, 2023
Jun 11, 2023 at 11:30 AM UTC
Unconscious efforts to diminish my size
Incapacitating distractions leave me unwise,
Deformed by obnoxious societal lies
Parallel faith, mostly untruths in endless wait
Craving fairness
Awareness
Finding only sophisticated insecurities
Because life, as we know her,
Is a dangerous tease.
Oct 29, 2011
Oct 29, 2011 at 12:40 PM UTC
An endless waterfall of emptiness
leave her, love her, hurt her, she does not care
she longs to care but she is covered and bundled in a thick quilt that poisons her everything with “nothing”
something is missing, the tears are missing
she knew she would be okay because of the streams that would flow furiously down her cotton felt rosy cheeks
she knew she would be okay because of the tender most voluntary light tears dancing gracefully across the marbled floor that was her face
but now,
she does not know if she will be okay because of the dessert like dryness of her eyes,
and the solitude her cheeks and lips have felt for quite some time now
something is missing, she is missing
she has been looking for what seems like a million years all over her now pitch black universe for herself
she had colors
she had stars, moons, millions of suns and planets within her
now the color black is the mere most perfect description of everything she has become
the battle between deciding what to feel out of all that she felt is over
she feels as an invisible soul that has passed from our physical world feels;
anger, rage because he is truly incapable of touching those who he stands infront of all day, he cannot do anything about the fact that he is invisible and non existent to all those he wishes to be noticed by
she feels anger, rage because she finds herself incapable of touching her emotions
frustration because tears no longer dance across her face
she feels invisible to her reflection in the mirror because she remembers the image of a person
an actually person
who is able to cry when sad and smile when happy
she is no longer able to show any physical emotion so she sees no reflection
a thick black fog invades her physical body and soul crawling through her eye sockets, her mouth, ears ,nostrils, and pours
it invades her psyche with all its blackness and abducts all the stars, moons many suns, and planets converting her inner universe into endless caves made of millions of tunnels that make love with emptiness and darkness
she has become a maze
beautifully numb, impatiently lost, sedated by absence
she is me, and i,
have been kissed by apathy.
paralyzing me and incapacitating me from myself is what this beautiful demon has done to me
she touched my lips and altered my thoughts
persuaded me into the belief that she would protect me
she told me that if i did not feel i would not hurt
at the time that i fell in love with her i was in a state where i would of taken my life just to end all feelings and confusion within me
she offered her anesthetic kiss,
i took it
as she relentlessly took over me i started to realize…
now i fear it be to late
i know the end to this maze will be the gate to my stars, my moons, my many suns, and planets
and i will run for what now seems an eternity
but i will not give up on my universe
j.e
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 2:31 PM UTC
she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions hide in there.
her eyes drip venom,
incapacitating
all she glances upon,
turning a summer sunrise
into decay.
she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions move beneath the surface.
her lips skitter,
chasing down
and breaking apart
even the sturdiest of mountains.
she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions crawl under skin.
her teeth gnaw,
eroding
all she touches,
turning a broken promise
into gossamer strands.
she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions dance within her skull.
her chest heaves,
filling up
and emptying out
the horizon.
she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions bleeding throughout.
her heart roars,
shaking
all she treads on,
turning a lifetime
into dust.
she's got shadows in her hair
and I no longer care about the scorpions.
her hands shake,
holding my
immortal coil
in a death grip.
she's got scorpions in her hair.
Feb 2, 2024
Feb 2, 2024 at 4:40 AM UTC
hot blood, red cheeks, burnt lips, and smoke incapacitating my lungs, i heave through the fire in my home
clouded judgement, feelings of hopelessness, i run through my home to find a place where i can feel safe to open my eyes
a place where my lungs are free to experience breath without tentative hesitance, where my senses are in allignment
i search for hydration, for a holistic cleansing of the soul, for a second chance to reclaim this home i have been so careless in
when i finally see myself
my sense of sight funnels in and out
has my skin always looked like this?
who let me destroy my home?
there is nothing to put out the fire
my skin revolts against my bone as my pulse laryngeally stabs me in protest of my reluctance to acknowledge the pain
i am ready to give into the flames, to be a soul of light
to transcend the blazing in my heart, in my veins, in my brainwaves, to go through this life, with open, kindled eyes, a fiery spirit
lungs of feathers
making it obvious that i have scars,
because every aspect of my being,
burns.
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 2:09 AM UTC
Regarding the snow
I hope we get hammered
I hope we get hit
I hope that the wind just blows and blows
Yet cannot decide which way to go
When carrying for us the blessing of snow
How I hope to get home
And get off these roads
Be it into a ditch
That way for a moment
That way for a bit
I would be left alone
Be it just for a minute
And if you're smiling now
Then you can relate to this
So get going dear related
Before the roads turn to slick
How I hope and hope with an honest heart
That we would see storms
Of magnificent art
Capable of incapacitating the means to work
At least in part
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 4:25 PM UTC
The ineffaceable stain
Allegorical refrain
Dictates the wily antidotes for a newfound sane
They hector from a distance
Muted but militant resistance
magical hobgoblins the lifeblood of their persistence
Heterodoxy enters the stage
Cognizant of ignominy, a potent repressed rage
Succor sought, corporate media bought
A pyrrhic limelight is certainly not what was sought
I defer to dignified exemplars
I confer with callous company at vapid bars
Concluding thereby the inverse proportionality of authenticity to success
The articulations of divinity imply rigidity
sweltering soul burgeoning with light sweating an evanescent humidity
If blind before, partial and total sight reconstitute the core
omnipresent paparazzi deplores
Past pities insuperable even with pithy witty
Future pieties irrelevant to ineradicable ignominy and purported dignity
Cupid and cupidity must be related
because gold-diggers alerted to my fair share would be elated
Begrudged at every tick, tantalized by a slow torture lurid flit
I cast my ambitions into the fathomless depths
I amass provisions for a restive hibernation, enduring schlep
Redemptive powers yet articulated
Should ease the prospects of being matriculated
But is cloistered suffering an inexcusable plight
When the deep coffers derelict a modest gesture of making grievous inequities once again right?
Must I swim to distant shores
Past the barnacles beneath and the urchins on submerged sand, very sore
Landmines at the beach, pantomimes and their garbled preach
Past scattershot invective fortified by intransigent misers of conscience, the balmy resort out of reach.
Bleak bleats, meek feats, good eats
I think it is about time for a tyrannical psychology to let me off the incapacitating leash, letting me focus on actions rather than on incomprehensible speech
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 7:49 PM UTC
I said I’ve moved on but maybe I haven’t
All the days from our past replay in my head when
I’m out in the world… or sheltered at home…
My feeling were real… this you had known…
But you broke me down with no second thought
It’s no wonder it's us who had never fought
My passionate kisses, your intimate touch
Make my days hard to live, but live I must
So as a heart falls asunder, thoughts fell askew
And all that I had was all that made you…
Yet between the silences my heart awoke
My placid mind forms rhetorical questions
To determine the meaning of the words we spoke
“…I love you…”
From you such a desired announcement
Fell flat like the plane of reality
When thrown against the intangibility of the unknown…
…and yet..
“I really loved you”
So as I gave my heart to you more with each passing day
You picked at it just to throw pieces away…
Now the pain I feel is more immense than you know
Sincea as each day goes by, I wish my memories would go…
“…but the pain is a reminder that I’m alive”
Because since that fateful day
You’d never guess I’d think I’m dead
As the incapacitating truth hit my heart…
…My nerve endings burnt out…
And my heart gave in to despair…
“But I Believe That You Will Be Fine”
Just as I believed that we’d work
But as I was once told the truth does hurt…
Accepting things the way they are is the only remedy
To redeem a lost soul from the emaciating pain
“…I miss you…”
Well if you did as you say you do
You’d seek me out…
And notice that the person I’ve become
Isn’t a person at all…
I’m a shade… no the Miasma…
Left from the dark in my heart
And the light of my love has disappeared…
“… You’ve Been In My Dreams…”
Do you know why?
Because I sure did…
The feelings I had
Weren’t that of a kid...
I loved you
And did what I did to prove it
But then again…
Girls want Men..
Not growing kids…
So the loss of me…
Will resound in your heart…
………
While you have your light…
I have my dark…
………
Sep 12, 2009
Sep 12, 2009 at 4:21 PM UTC
I once knew myself,
I once knew me well.
Now I wonder:
Is this my cell?
Am I imprisoned forever more,
to be left with nothing but the shore?
To feel the sand beneath my feet;
to feel the sun's relentless heat.
I shatter myself and lose my bearings-
only to understand I am uncaring.
I fall through the ground
and sink without a sound;
ripping through the seams
of...everything.
Inside this hourglass time grows old,
with me only left to sit and mold.
I have lost my way;
I have lost it all today.
~~~
My time has passed
through the hourglass.
I no longer understand
what it is to be a man.
Chills vibrate through me,
incapacitating my being.
Unexplainable reverie,
I can only start seeing.
Visions become my existance,
trying to remember the life before.
Trying so hard to condense it-
but I always come back to the shore.
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 9, 2011 at 8:12 PM UTC
Oh foul is the smoke
of these chemical sticks of death
how burning to the eyes
so very bad for the breath
The thick black tar
coating incapacitating
those pink lungs
so pure when young
Now I watch you lay there Mother
fighting hard for breath
and tears fill my eyes
as I wait for your death
Their is nothing I can do
as you cough and sputter
all I knew then, was
I was losing my Mother
Big profits with high tax
life cut short with your axe
you widow makers
and mother takers
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
To the drunken slob who tried to get his way with me at a wedding
To the pig who called out "Mmm, get a load of that body."
And to the total idiots who came into my workplace and hollered
"I'll take a cheeseburger, with a side of you."
******* I am not a side order
I am the whole ******* meal
I will unhinge my shut jaw
And swallow you whole
With my feminist outcries
With my pleas for the reform of a broken body
A system in which all the parts are not in tune
The arms work against the legs
The heart works against the mind
The cisgender male works against all else
And like all broken things
Most do not intend to be sexist
Most do not understand that what they are doing
Is incapacitating an entire group of people
That it is diminishing them to anything but
We are not equal
Because my body is seen as a play thing
My body is seen as something a man can take and toy with
My body is seen as parts, but not a whole
While his body is composed for him.
He lives in a society that teaches him to take, take, take
But that society teaches us to give, abide, be good
All of which do not work in harmony with each other
Because according to this logic
I cannot make ****** choices
Because mine are made for me.
But I cannot give in to the choices he makes for me
Or they work against my father's wishes.
I am either a **** or a ***** their is no in between
When my entire existence is reduced to what a man thinks fit for me
So to these men who seek to manipulate, control, and take
I am not conforming to society's standards set for me
And I am not your side order
Or for men to pick and choose the parts they want from me
I am my own woman, my own hero
I am my own meal.
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
Haunted houses creep in and out
Giving life to the ghosts
Carving, clawing their way to the present
Leaving you bleeding from the eyes
Kiss them gently to retell their tales
Feel their dark caresses
Drawn forth from your gut
Fingers wrapped around your spine
They feed, oh so deeply
Tooth and fang deep inside
The pain amplifies, rippling
Keeping you immobile and trapped
Anguish sours softly bedded dreams
Their voices, electric, hallowed
Like nails down a chalkboard
Incapacitating your actions
Coiled muscles, anxious to explode
You want to lash out
Scream, drown out the past
Scatter those broken ghosts
But they overwhelm
And you cringe,
In the darkness
Until you see the light
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 5:55 PM UTC
A lukewarm pile of fresh *****
And the scattered pieces of a broken heart
Or some other wildly clichéd dross
A vague color between green and grey
Maybe some recent cigarette butts
In it are uncomfortable memories
Immortalized vindictive shards of the past
A boot print to assert the endless shame
Nothing positive is ever in *****
It's a relief of pain and dullness
It contains the distilled essence of heartache
I haven't thrown up in years
I must have so much pent up waste in me
Waste of the self, garbage of the soul
Unholy, rancid, putrid, odorous *****
Or am I perhaps forgetting something?
There is tranquil solitude in *****
Isolated, cold, mechanical self-reflection
Representations of pathetic shame
Cruel hatred in regurgitated carrots and corn
No disgust except that which the perceiver suggests
What point is there in disgust and regret then?
The ugly and incapacitating truth escaped
Perhaps the reason I do not, is because I am!
Quetzal, the drunken ***** of the Holy Spirit
Reflecting all the disgust God hides
Transposed onto unshapely fractures
Cavities and chasms, gaping on the cloth of Eden
Become as ***** lukewarm and odorous!
The purest and cleanest reflection of God's adoration
Oct 17, 2022
Oct 17, 2022 at 3:49 PM UTC
Vacant Streets
Barren homes
Concrete rubble scratching beneath my feet
Am I all alone?
Towering viridescent leaved Giants
On the other side of the road
Wind swiftly whispering hollow secrets
Into the grove.
I intently observe the grooved bark of a tree
What species is it?
I don't know, but I would like to know
My eyes scrupulously make their way up to the reaching branches at the very top
Next to this tree I observe is a tree stump
It doesn't look like it was cut with precision, it looked like a flash of unpredictable lightning chopped it right in half
Incapacitating it to no longer grow, ragged shards of raw inner wood
Now blackened with death.
The difference between the stump and the outreaching tree was one proliferated while the other did not due to death.
I felt my heart in my chest and arteries transporting blood to a part of my mind neglected and depressed
As the realization swooshed and then swelled into my heart,
that these conditions of my mind and circumstances were not forever
But temporary lessons
Yes, that's all these bad things are,
Temporary lessons
A tree can be cut but if not cut through all the way to cause death, it will grow around that cut, and everything else about it will eventually become bigger than those few times it experiences pain
The key to all of this was to move forward, grow
With limbs outstretched to the sky.
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 8:53 PM UTC
A song comes on the radio
and it's quite catchy and fun
and I'd like to hear the lyrics
so I can find it later-
but I can't hear
because nobody else cares.
They chatter-scream-and laugh excessively loud
because they've all heard this song before,
know it by heart
finish to start,
and that's how it is.
They all listen to the same music
watch the same shows and movies
know all the jokes
all the comedians
and stories
they already know.
I try to catch up
and watch what they watch
step where they step
and sing their songs
but there's too much catching up to do
and not enough time
they're too far ahead of me.
So I give up.
Lengthening the gap
between me and the rest of my peers
only isolating myself further
incapacitating my ability to connect.
I'll watch my quiet foreign movies and syfy shows
and learn my own jokes
and continue to listen
to my odd quiet music.
They know their world,
and I know mine.
and no matter how hard I try
to visit theirs,
I'll never be able to stay.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 6:55 PM UTC
Guilt awaiting beyond the threshold of passion,
Too regretful to be engulfed by devouring flames,
Burning with every ounce of blood pumped in ******
Sensation overwhelming a morally sound reality,
entombing the moment on repeat,
reliving every touch, every secret whispered.
Broken promises gnaw at the spinal cord,
Incapacitating victims with each mouth full of deceit,
Overpowered in puddles of sensuality scattered,
Pain distributed through currents of attraction,
Smoothering the protests of anxiety with free will.
Breathing the scent of venom,
Seductive serpent offering the hungry,
garentees of release muffled by falsehoods,
Providing the fruit of past deprivation,
The sweet necture drips from supple lips,
Woven into the wounds of betrayal,
A secret to be scilenced by the embrace of guilt.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
i am meat
i'm useful only for consumption
stunning, incapacitating
"i'll split you in two"
you're killing me!
how would you like to dress my flesh?
grinding
am i tender enough?
bleeding
put me on display
i'm just a trophy
am i the best piece of meat you've ever had?
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 9:52 PM UTC
Too often, we wish for things,
which fill us full of regret.
Too often, we become the things,
which fill us full of dread.
Too often, too often,
this nightmare persist,
Too often.
Too often, I am at the mercy
of this madness.
Too often, it swells within my heart,
incapacitating me.
Too often, I lay in feverish pain,
a prisoner of anxiety.
Too often, too often,
I wander into darkness,
Too often.
Too often, I become this awful wretch,
this terror
Too often, I beg,
to be set free.
Too often, and its always,
Too often enough.
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 11:41 PM UTC
Death doesn’t exist,
And I refuse to believe in life.
This world consists
Of incapacitating time.
We are all starving signatures
Of an experiemental joke,
And everything we create
Just makes me ******* choke.
All that exists subsists of rot,
A wasted penance, long forgot,
I lay the framework
The words became murk
While the public sits
And bathes in ****
I don’t want any part of it.
-
Release me. I don’t belong here,
I’ll eradicate anything in my way here,
Subliminally inserted masquerades
Confuse the minds of the weak,
sitting without thought in this charade,
Confounding the blinded to weep.
I’m only suicidal in the mornings,
But the evenings bring contempt,
The hatred spawns new beginnings,
The death brings our lament,
Death doesn’t exist,
And I’ll never believe in life.
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 31, 2016 at 6:48 PM UTC
Above all,
I fear fear itself
Its paralyzing power
Like some sort of poison
Incapacitating me from head to toe
If I give in, I am just another victim
Restrained from feeling
And stuck in a world of the unknown
Where the future reins its ugly head
And the past is nowhere to be seen
The present is just another image
Waiting to be destroyed in a flurry
These thoughts rob me of my senses
And soon I am living a dream
I lose my sense of time
Too weak to stay afloat
Ready for the waves to swallow me whole
And just when all is lost
A hand reaches deep down
Into the waves
And pulls me up by the collar
Saying, “this is not death”
“death is far away”
“death is busy”
“death is preoccupied”
“death does not pay attention to you”
“for you have not caught his attention”
And I am released
Free to drift away
Towards an island that supports me
Free to live amongst the world
The earth still remains spinning
It has not yet ceased
And in the distance
A sunrise can be seen
Can you see it?
Perhaps it is just my imagination
Perhaps I am just dreaming
Lost amongst the stars
And the future or past
Cannot reach me here
I am invincible
Lying in the pacific
Gazing up at the sun and stars
As the moon fishes
For diamonds
Sprinkling my raft
With stardust
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 6:25 PM UTC
Volumes of uncountable notions are lurking within my brain.
Ousting like scorching flames that can evaporate the pouring rain.
Needing to let them go like prisoners breaking out of their chains.
Senseless words that comes out of nowhere like bandits raiding a train.
Hailing from far beyond my head are immeasurable yet merky words.
Incapacitating my rationality yet it brings me to a place of thinking that is about to unfold.
Restless times that exhaust me withers my mind and my wandering soul.
Entirely escaping a niche that I came to call my sanity being burried in a shallow hole.
Laughing on my own while the rest of the world laughs at me.
Only to lose more of my mentality while I hid from them this epic side of my humanity.
A portion of me is on a leash since its mostly out of control.
Denting a hardened spirit that has almost took its toll.
Burning into ashes like trees caught up in the fire.
Only to rise up once more like a **** that never gets tired.
Over this life time I have accumulated more than I could actually handle.
An exobite of entries still not enough to have me dismantled.
These are the things that runs through my head on every rising day.
Breaking this habit is like an addictive vice that shall never be out of play.
Admiring my own sense of reality while I stay in color when the world is in grey.
Yearning to make more pieces of poetry in acronyms served on a silver tray.
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 2:34 AM UTC
i cant get thoughts to leave my head when i want them to.
theyre like solicitors standing on my doorstep,
and they wont go away unless i give them what they want.
new scars, less food, my head bent over a toilet, retching.
too many drugs, not enough drugs,
sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
i wish they would go away.
i wish they didnt spin in my head
porpoising up and down
making me sick to my stomach,
sick to my head,
incapacitating me.
I want to escape,
i just want them gone.
i dont want to die, i just dont want to feel this anymore
i would do anything.
i have done anything,
and none of it seems to do any good.
im just a mess of self destruction and self mutilation,
i know.
fundamentally unlovable?
maybe.
i just want them Gone. Away,
but i dont know how to do that in a healthy way.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 5:08 PM UTC
when you're tired and need to sleep,
you go to sleep.
it is dangerous to stay awake if your eyes
are closing--
at the wheel, at work, in public.
but what if the exhaustion is
deeper than your muscles,
bones, and joints creaking.
what if it is so totally
incapacitating that you are
going to fall down?
what if you can't sleep?
how do you take a nap, a break,
a respite, from life?
Apr 29, 2019
Apr 29, 2019 at 11:11 PM UTC