"dropout" poems
Jay.
He was a nineteen year old high school dropout.
He was black.
He wore his hair in dreads.
He had a few nose rings.
He wore gold chains and expensive clothes.
He went partying every night.
He got drunk on alcohol but his drug addiction was the biggest problem.
He had a lot of friends.
Because he was ‘cool’.
He was the ‘man’.
Gray.
He was 18, finishing his final school year.
He was white.
He wore his hair very short.
He had large round glasses, sitting lopsided on his nose.
He wore a long sleeved shirt and trousers.
He studied hard, and he got good marks.
He played the cello in the school band.
But he was gay.
And so he didn’t have any friends.
But he had his family who he loved dear and who loved him back.
He was happy.
The differences between the two are unbelievable.
They are nothing alike; they are complete opposites.
Yet, they are human.
They walk the same streets, at different times.
They both live on the same planet, if not the same world.
They both have a right to live.
They both have people who love them, despite all they are.
It’s their differences that make Jay and Gray human.
Both of them.
Until Jay raised his gun and fired three times at Gray.
That’s when Gray was lost to humanity.
And Jay had lost his humanity.
Coz Jay shot in the chest a boy named Gray
Killed him without giving him any say,
The boy who did no wrong, but was gay,
With his life, he had to pay.
His family cried in despair and dismay,
For their loving son had been taken away,
And now they all sat in silence,
For Gray would never see another day.
For souls who have had their lives ripped apart, and those who rip their lives apart, we pray.
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 11:59 AM UTC
complexity bias
how you love to criticize my poems
as too long and overly complex
poor me, I’m no genius, don’t prosper by exploiting
unrecognized simplicities, rather deconstruct the
intricate complexities that I flatter myself are the me-sinews
Writing is a **** temptation -
we focus on the 10% that is complex and ignore the easy 90%
perhaps this once I will surrender my bare bones
put aside the rich, satisfying of cave diving, urban spelunking
word caressing tongue verbiage rich tapestry exploring -
give you the plane of plain where nestles my destiny: nesting near motionless where the couch is my kingdom and cold cereal is
easily digested and there are no consequences
I am a member of a discriminated-against minority
we have no charismatic leader, no marchers anywhere, and government programs say
hey you’re free white and twenty one plus, get the crap out of
our faces, you useless piece of rhymes with **** and includes dirt, though I shower twice a day to keep myself occupied
25 years old, a high school dropout, of course I’m white,
my occupation is playing video games and making sure
my supply of opioids is adequate in these great United States
where I was born
there are fewer jobs than none that my application survives
a first glance discardation, and now my disability preempts
any demand to pretend there is gainful employment in store in
my future
this reductio ad absurdum is a technique to expose the fallacy,
ah what’s that you say no interest in hanging about,
on your way out, of course, of course,
we are the wrong flavor of downtrodden
my life is simple - simplistic in its a chaotic entropic way,
order slowly declines into disorder
my rituals are a fight against slip sliding down, falling off the
the Herzog continuums
and the poems are desperate hand holds to prevent my
going, gone under
so forgive me if I tax you without possessing not the
requisite taxing authority
you hone in on the obvious disparities and my contradictions
resenting my sending you this bill of extravagant length
compose with me and a mean will be located and to sleep I go,
perhaps to undress my dreams and explicate the wealthy multiples of complexity in the simplicity of a junkies life
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 3:56 PM UTC
It was about fifteen years ago
No romantic notions
No grand stories
Just another part of my strange journey
For a high school dropout
It was a wooden bed
In a blue storage trailer
One and a half month long
Sleep deprived
Long drive
From site to site
One week
Per city
Doing my laundry
At laundry matts
With strange pretty girls
Hanging at a bar
Playing slutty slot machines
No drinking
Cause I was only nineteen
It was two vets
From different wars
Smoking *** in the morning
It was my first *** buzz
Staring stupidly up
At the ceiling
The strangest set of strangers
Bathing in the back of a semi
Getting lunch with a lemon punch
Using carny credit
It was sketching for a distraction
No artistic satisfaction
Very few journal entries
And those journals are now lost
Searching for myself
As all young men do
In the end it was just another job
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 6:38 AM UTC
CONFESSIONS OF A DROPOUT: DEAR EDUCATION
I am caught up in the ideal world where I breeze through the fast paced life
I look back and I see no one not even my own shadow
Life dumped me on a rainy day because I wanted to become of this generation
I was everything to pretend friends
Life seemed worth it with everything but you
The drugs, the cars, the money and the alcohol… **** I even drank methanol
But when push came to shove I had to grow up
By then life had already given me deathly blows that were beyond me
Deathly blows that sent me to a dark pit, a dark pit were life ceases to exist
God himself knows that I am beyond saving grace since I am a different case
Truth be told I dug my own grave
Now I am a slave to this burning rage
I now believe I am going to rot in this cage
Poverty looked and me said when I grow up I want to be like that girl
Pain looked at me and shed tears….. Death visited me and renounced its existence
So dear education if you ever get this letter know that I send my sincere apologies
I wish I could have listened, I wish we could have been friends more
I now live a life of regret were I dream of having a ride on death’s train
I wish you could take me back but furthermore I pray that you lend me a dying wish
Dear education…… please do accept my apologies!
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 3:10 PM UTC
swimming in a dropout ocean
drowning in disease
scented waters sleeping in
discussing bended knees
swelling ear drums underwhelmed
living in a giving tree
standing under shadowed rainfall
continuously breaking keys
taking time run out tonight
climbing my own refugee
single spirited willow jars
sorting through debris
Sep 23, 2012
Sep 23, 2012 at 8:00 PM UTC
Early on
it was clear
I was coming nowhere in this race
and so my eyes began to wander,
pick out the daisies in the grass,
note the sweep of the horizon
and -
stop.
A long time,
the thunder of feet
fading into the distance,
leaving breeze,
bees
and other tranquilities.
Until a small man
in a tight suit
approached me with a clipboard.
"Ah," he said,
sycophantic smile
splitting his tanless dinnerplate
of a face,
"I see we have another
"like-minded soul!
"We'd like you to join
"the non-racing society!
"You can look at daisies all day long
"and at the end of every day
"we quantify who has done the best!"
And I, sad,
sat,
and wished the sky
would swallow me
whole.
Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012 at 12:30 PM UTC
I can still smell your cheap cologne on my bed,
On my CAL hoodie
And in my hair.
I don't know how I tolerated you for so long
Your hands were always ***** and covered in car-grease
Sometimes your hair was too messy
And your eyebrows were uneven.
We had nothing in common
You were a liar
And It was my passion to expose the truth.
You were bottom class
I was a famous superstar.
High school dropout mechanic
Honor student debater.
But somehow
In some way
Your smile
captivated my heart.
And you and I were one.
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012 at 4:31 AM UTC
i given nothing
i abandoned
i adopted
i dropout
i garage
i Apple
i NeXT
i Pixar
i Apple
i pilfered i
i invented i
i produced i
i market i
i retail i
i am i
i am
i
i tech beauty
i consumer fetish
i whom you love
i sleekest widgets
i Toy Story
i Macintosh
i macbook
i Lisa
iTunes
iPod
iPhone
iPad
i more
i rebel
i genius
i visionary
i entrepreneur
i world changer
i exceptionalism
i capital market hero
i bigger then business
i cool capitalism
i myth
i "the man"
i worker
i employer
i boss
i thief
i savior
i billionaire
i venerated
i vanity
i Buddhist
i prophet
i redeemed
i 1 in 300 million
i America
i sing the pathos
i am the creed
i define the ethos
i Steve Jobs
i amassed riches
i accolade crowned
i ingratiate world
i virtue
i success
i creativity
i favored
i Midas
i bedeviled
i tested
i afflicted
i retire
i human
i mortal
i succumb
i eulogized
i leave legacy of i
i am an MBA case study
i employed workers
i peddled intrepid product cycles
i subject of amusing anecdotes
i am heroic corporate folklore
i grew pods full of music
i incite kids to thumb phones
i captivate consumer imagination
i built rock solid balance sheet
i erected toxic Chinese factories
i enriched investors
i am the cool corporate brand
i inspired a million unused i apps
i hipster capitalism
i imposed my will
i insisted
i am that i am
i cannot take it with me
i leave blue jeans
i leave NB sneakers
i leave black collarless shirt
i will be asked what
i did with the time
i was given?
i did the best i could
i played the hand dealt
i parlayed it into a royal flush
i filled it up with i
i ask why
i am no more?
i leave the world
i am no more
Godspeed Beloved
Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs
(February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)
jbm
Oakland
10/6/11
Nov 4, 2011
Nov 4, 2011 at 10:40 PM UTC
cold sweats
heart pounding
wide awake
early morning
can't sleep
you decide
these nightmares need to end.
but your subconscious
disagrees
in its own
subtle-as-a-kick-in-the-teeth
sort of way.
tomorrow is another day,
another nightmare
to wake up from.
in class they all stare at you
because aren't you a little too
poor
to be in college?
that's when you wake up
and that's when you decide
these nightmares need to end
but dreams weren't meant for
dropouts
like you
so tomorrow it's back
to the
cold sweats
heart pounding
wide awake
early morning
can't sleep
won't sleep
ever again.
Nov 20, 2011
Nov 20, 2011 at 8:35 PM UTC
Tragic characters in an empty theater
God doesn't watch us
God doesn't care
The passion we were born with fades to dust
With every cigarette we inhale so eager for our death
On the last night on Earth I will stand by your side
We can plunge to our death
In love,
You and I.
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 4:05 AM UTC
A Secretary-Receptionist Faces the Future - “I Know Where the Door Is, You Little Police Academy Dropout.”
The name on the building changed again today
I must apply for my own job, they say
A smarmer wants more work for much less pay
It’s time to reconstruct my resume’
I once was great with videotape and film
And could type fifty-five words a minute
On an IBM Selectric; my skills are dim
The boy-boss taps on a plastic box - what’s in it?
For forty years I ruled the company’s ground floor -
Security, with a sneer, shows me the door
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 4:07 PM UTC
Them bastardized youths fell outside, dizzied by a reality unsolved.
Their maws scowled judgment and drooled Pabst down improbable bodies each of them lay in the stink of subtle conformity.
Fiercely unique culture beasts starved away in suburbs; Wikidrifting, those drugged litterbugs scampered.
Dropout fish fast against the current of their time, tired from dancing through desperate crowded nights and disparate lonely dawns, dangling degrees and the specters of success burning incessant their pride.
They were the ******** made so over time contracted by blind parents to nine-to-blithes in which quiet desperation, credit nooses, and irony were the small print.
They were carpenters afraid of their hands. With chisel to headstone, they lied on the hoods of used Japanese cars, panning the radio for a real connection and gazing up at vanishing constellations.
They were their poison and they their elixir, but a cold cigarette was a much quicker fixer of Helplessness Blues and the back of a Bible where a brief intellectual wrote “I am suicidal.”
For how does the turn of the epigram read to those who care less with every new beat of a drummed-up society so high off its piety that seeing stars vanish is simply a shame?
Those ******** dropouts tragically remiss, those Supertramps, Kerouacs, Cohens, and wits.
They were the alternative, urbanite fools that littered alleys with Greek fables and Tibetan tattoos.
Criterion flash cards and the literary canon allowed them to flirt with god in verse and art clues until Pollock’s canvas did rip off their eyelids which left them to know only Socrates knew.
They danced and they writhed, then ****** to pass time, and kept on their passions till lost were their minds. Then they all died, those blasphemous ********
But at least they washed on the back of their crimes.
At least they danced.
At least they were.
And there may be something to movement in chaos.
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 8:06 PM UTC
Failing class because I'm distracted
Impacted by your body extracted
Mine reacted with you.
There was nothing I could do.
There was nothing I could do.
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 12:59 PM UTC
I don't like mustaches and you remembered
You kept it till last December
When you knew you'd see me one last time
You dropped out of highschool for an extra dime
My friends say you're not good for me
And I understand
A dropout and the girl with the principal as her biggest fan
But I live for the moments we have together
From Subway dates to running home in bad weather
My friends don't get how happy I am
How I understand that you aren't a good guy, but not a bad man
You have a warrant out for your arrest
But I sometimes fail my tests
We all have our bad things, we regret and don't flaunt
But you are not one of mine, and I'm of yours I hope not
A bad analogy I understand, but take a moment to see what you can
He's a sweetheart and a charmer for sure
But he loves me for me and that's pure
I dont get guys like that much if at all these days
And I know he means good intentions in all of his ways
As bad as they may be
And my friends remind me
We mustn't judge a book from the cover
Simple as can be
Mar 25, 2019
Mar 25, 2019 at 2:07 AM UTC
The memories, the dreams
Spinning rings
silver and gold
those flashy things
I'd remember when old
gowns and caps
the attire of the achiever
I survived the traps
and the grand deceiver
graduation
prom
the grand tradition
even my mom..
I am the first
of my line
to give up on thirst
and mock the divine.
I am a dropout
I chose the hard way
to live without
what those papers say.
Reality
I live my life with a knife in my chest
bleeding my heart out you all know the rest
I hurt my beloved by not being there
even if I really did care.
I tried my hardest, it wasn't enough
I did my best to be tough
I can't give you 200% of a whole
even if it were my only goal
after all, you trained me as a robot
just like everyone else, all forgot
who I was, the second I left
I've tossed and turned and wept.
The memories, the dreams
torn away from me
ripped apart at the seams
and tossed to the sea.
Today was prom night
and I stayed home again
no shining light
never again...
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013 at 1:28 AM UTC
tired of hearing "potential" in reference to me
cause i only hear it when i'm being squeezed
into a box by those who think they know whats best for me
its a wonder i haven't gone ****** from all the pressure
writer, lawyer, realtor, travel agent, hair dresser
i don't know yet, i don't know! yes i do want better
but how am i supposed to plan a career when
i can't see as far as my hand in front of me
i love everything! how am i supposed to pick one passion?
is my passion divided among a hundred interests lesser in value
than someones passion focused on one point?
i can't help but think so. and it discourages me even more
and its not just a career, job, and school
pulled in all different direction i'm everybodys fool
i have to be a different me for just about every person i see
selecting aspects of my personality to fit the scene
its not fake its not phony. its reality.
i have friends in all circles, family in a whole separate ring
i can't share all the aspects of me or i'd spend my time
defending my thoughts, beliefs, and interests.
i am so tolerant, why can't people afford me the same luxury?
the worst thing is the fake smile and polite subject change
whenever a parent of a friend asks what i've been up to
when i can SEE it in their eyes, they are all thinking the same
that i've thrown my life away, that i'm not a good influence
anymore. nevermind that they've known me for years,
that i've set dinner tables with them, celebrated birthdays,
and survived puberty alongside their kid, my best friends.
all they can see is another college-dropout who is going nowhere fast
i lied... the worst thing. what hurts most is that they are right
i AM going nowhere fast and it kills me everyday.
and its more salt right in the wound that i know my parents
have the same conversations when they run into neighbors,
friends, family, and the "how are the kids" comes up
how did a 3.7 G.P.A. and a 1410 S.A.T. turn into a
20 year old with a P.O. and a record.
i know they love me all the same but i can't help but feel ashamed
i know they wanted, i know they expected... better
i've been decorating the same mistakes in different frames
so i can pretend they're not the same
but who's the fool when its you fooling you
and me hurting me by playing fast and loose
with common sense
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 3:07 PM UTC
Who the Hell wants to
Go off to Heaven?
Think about it please:
If you had to spend
All eternity
With “goody two shoes”,
And “zipped up virgins”,
And “pious *******
Always putting on
Thick sweaters of wool
Cause there ain’t no heat,
Playing “Yahtzee” and
“Old Maid” and “Go Fish”
And “Bingo” and “Red
Rover Red Rover”
Send the next bore on
Over! You’d pray and,
Oh my dear, you‘d wish
To come down to Hell
Where the party’s at!
By the time Heaven
Starts serving soda
Water and broccoli
Oh my dear you’ll crave:
***** Linguini
A full Trough of Sloth
A Southern Wrath Wrap
Greed’s mead, Peppered Pride
Glutton’s Mutton and
Sweet Envy’s Smoothie.
Can you live with just
Holding their cold hand?
Sitting on some cloud,
Gazing and never
Feeling or touching?
Never burning, nor
Experimenting?
This is blunt, but think,
This is where all the
Interesting folks
Go! Laughter? Its here!
Debauchery? Here!
Creativity!
Ingenuity!
We are what made life,
LIFE! Think about it!
Has obedience,
Has docility,
Has simplicity,
Has submission changed
This world? This universe?
A wise man, once said
“If heaven is where,
“Nice” folks like you go,
Then its surely hell
That I’d rather know”
Here is the freedom!
Here are the cool kids!
Why starve in the light,
When in the dark there’s
Every delight and
Every single thing
Enjoyed throughout life?
Feb 24, 2011
Feb 24, 2011 at 1:53 PM UTC
The weight of this backpack
has increased ten fold
with the attack brought on
by a typed out, computer emotioned
decision
I can already see my friends
slipping through my fingers,
my sunshine dream setting
in the distance,
"goodbye" "goodbye"
instead of "see you later"
went from a Gator
to a dropout
to a hopeful Mustang
to a head hung in shame
with no one to blame
so long bright beaches
hello again rainy day
Bay
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
Poet: Dropout, knot among the many cascading curls of my brainmatter— bipolar.
Stopped trying to get healed by doctors. Stay low, go slow, laying out, cream blush. Lemonade frozen like sorbet.
Apr 29, 2021
Apr 29, 2021 at 2:37 PM UTC
What the eff is up with this site?
Why is it most people on the front page can't write?
Folks just babble on and on...
Or spit out a two line poem
Which is fine if it's a two punch knockout
Instead of sounding like a grammar school dropout
And why do certain things get so many views?
I can't seem to get more than two
Post crap if you want, if that's what people write
But they should give everybody a chance on this site
So I don't write about flowers or blather on about paint
So I don't pretend to be something I ain't
We should all have a voice here, The good and the bad
The silly, the happy, the lost and the sad
So come on hellopetry, give gutter poets a try
If you'd rise just a bit, we could meet eye to eye.
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021 at 3:31 PM UTC
high school dropout
out of a job
out of options
soon to be out of the
rented studio
apartment
he went to the local bar
and drank himself
to the point he had to *****
to make room for more
and next thing
he knew
he was dating a woman
named Cactus
Life can get pretty
weird when
you don't live it
consciously
I knew the guy and heard
he moved in
with his lover
and started a new life
I really, really hope the
headline
'LOCAL ALCOHOLIC DEVELOPS SCHIZOPHRENIA,
DISMEMBERS GIRLFRIEND
PLANTS HER LIMBS IN FLOWERPOTS,
STICKS NEEDLES IN THEM'
is not about him
May 8, 2024
May 8, 2024 at 7:30 AM UTC
its been two years
since we have talked
when we saw each other
it was like we never stopped.
I'm tangled in this mistake
by the morning light
i will have seen a different side
i am completely sober
i know for a fact your high
and one kiss isnt enough to get by
It all started with a cigarette
then words started to pour from your lips
moments started to flash
then i was in your car and you were kissing my hips
ive never felt like this
broken down, but so complete
this isnt love
but since it needs a label
we can just call it lust
im still hiding the bruises you left on my bust
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 12:10 AM UTC
I have traveled back in time
Or maybe I have dreamt this place in 1987
A bank
My mother a teller
In the middle of a divorce
Or maybe the divorce hasn’t happened yet
My father walks in
He is a security guard
College dropout
Ex-marine
Loves fighting as much as I do
She never went to college
Maybe she thinks he is mysterious
He prevents a robbery
Beats a man in the parking lot
He flirts with her over a coffee break
And this is the part where everything goes fuzzy
Because I could never see my father as a charming man
I want to tell them to stop
If love at first sight
Cared enough to have foresight too
They’d stop
Maybe they were nice people once
If we all knew what we’d one day become
We could fix things
I want to tell them that they will have children
I want to tell them about the things that they will do to these children
And then to themselves
And back and forth and back and forth
Like a pendulum made of knives and soft things
But I do not exist in this place in 1987
And even if I did
I want to live
I want to live
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 5:22 PM UTC
Farm life was hard,
when your the twelfth,
in line, most of the older
ones have gotten bolder,
to make there own way,
away from the family place.
Your hair was platinum white,
kids were kids and joked in spite,
of how nice you were or not.
When number thirteen was about to be,
the baby took your mother away, see?
your dad then go sick with TB,
once he could no longer take care,
you went to be with family, who cared.
You went to work stocking shoes,
dropout of school to pay your dues,
so much lost and so much to lose.
You moved away and married a man,
had a couple of boys who grew to men
and worked,
moved again and again west then south,
and worked
as the retail demands,
cashiering and training manager
types, till you retired... when they
closed the store, without much
attention and with not much of
a pension. Lost much in the divorce.
From a prairie rose to fill those roles
as a cashier,
as trainer,
as a mother,
cherished,
you balanced,
books, career and life
as well,
thanks from me and my brother, as well.
To any readers,
There more to the story and I will fill
in the blanks, but here is the ending
so you will say thanks that it will not
be nagging as you sleep.
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC