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magdalena Nov 2013
Your name burns my throat
And it's all my fault
Because I couldn't treat you better
But you could not love me right

And I still miss you
While you're thinking of some one's name
And I still think about you
magdalena Nov 2013
I loved you more than I could ever love myself.
And you will forever be imprinted in my heart
You will never smile back.
Because I left a scar on your heart.
And I'm sorry I didn't treat you better.
magdalena Nov 2012
In the middle of the night
when your nostalgia poisons your thoughts.
Everything comes into mind.

My promiscuity. If you'd even call it that.
The first guy. I was in love. I was also 15 and stupid. He had issues.

The third guy. I loved him too. He ******* me up. In every way you could ever think of.
Then I was the one with issues.

The second guy. We dated after the first guy. It wasn't passionate, nor memorable. No *** or touching.
It was, Just. Nice. He held me by my waist rather than my hips or ***.
We got back together after the fourth guy. We just weren't the same. And the sweet, nice, innocent smell of monthaversary  flowers was replaced with ****.

The fourth guy. I won't remember him. I was just bored.

I cheated on the second one with the fifth. I didn't give a **** about the present. I wasn't happy. So I got high and ****** the first guy I found.
The guilt was unbearable. I gave in and broke it off with the second guy.
I kept  ******* the fifth one.

Number five wouldn't satisfy my needs.
I met number six. He was all right. Introduced me to shrooms and Hash.
Tall. Vegan.
I'm short and I love meat. Wasn't gonna happen.
Next.

Seven. Hot. My type. Sweet. He was everything I ever wanted and more.
He ****** me. And left. Hit it and quit it, I guess. And I smoked that ******* out too.

Ocho. My lips are still bruised from last night.
We made out at the bus stop and his **** was hard.
Not at all my type. Not to brag, but I like to think I'm high class.

Last night, he confirmed that he just wants to ****.
It's cool. I appreciate that. I did too at first.
But when a guy touches, and grabs, and kisses, and *****,
I'm a toy.  
I'm a piece of meat. I'm just a girl-If I'm still considered that.
Because those who couldn't understand.
Or couldn't fit in my shoes, I'm *****.
A ***. A ****.
I'm no longer smart.
No longer valuable. I'm just easy. I'm  ******.
But when a guy- a guy I like,
when he touches me,
I confuse his ******* with affection. And I fall in love.
But I'm only seventeen and I don't know what love is.
I don't know what real kisses taste like.
magdalena Nov 2012
Rip my heart out before I fall in love with you.
Please.
magdalena Sep 2012
Can you still whisper my voice inside your head
Are you still aware of my tears,
my fears?
My aches and my nightmares.

Please Don't forget.
Remember hat I held your hand when you tried to run away
I gave you hope when everyone else gave you hate
Love was confused with lust.
Or was I too dumb to notice that
Somewhere along the way, you recognized my flaws and
thought I wasn't good enough.

But in case you weren't notified, I gave my all
while you cheated.
While you lied.
I carried us up
You tried sinking us down.
Baby,I made it. I'm alive.

Sorry to hear that you stayed under water
in your tank of
stagnation, and false hope.

Deferred love, my mind has forgotten,
But my heart has not
magdalena Sep 2012
I don't know If you still remember
But I do
I still remember the color of your eyes
and your tender lips  
and the way you wrinkled your nose every time I made you laugh

Every now and then
I close my eyes and find myself again-
happy.
sitting in your lap
counting away the smiles and the giggles
magdalena Sep 2012
I can still smell your cheap cologne on my bed,
On my CAL hoodie  
And in my hair.

I don't know how I tolerated you for so long
Your hands were always ***** and covered in car-grease
Sometimes your hair was too messy
And your eyebrows were uneven.

We had nothing in common
You were a liar
And It  was my passion to expose the truth.
You were bottom class
I was a famous superstar.

High school dropout mechanic
Honor student debater.


But somehow
In some way
Your smile
captivated my heart.

And you and I were one.
This is my first poem in a while. I'm still kinda rusty. Feedback is well appreciated :D

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