+27736613276 The Abortion Pill: Medical Abortion with Mifepristone and Misoprostol What is the Medical Abortion?

Medical abortion is a procedure that uses various medications to end a pregnancy. A medical abortion is started either in a doctors office or at home with visits to your health care provider.

Medical abortion doesn't require anaesthesia or surgery, but it should be done early in pregnancy. Unlike a surgical procedure, a medical abortion usually is done without entering the ******.

During the procedure Medical abortion can be done using the following medications:

Oral mifepristone and oral misoprostol. This is the most common type of medical abortion, likely due to the ease of oral rather than vaginal dosing. These medications must be taken within seven weeks of the first day of your last period. Mifepristone (mif-uh-PRIS-tone) — also known as RU-486 — blocks the action of the hormone progesterone, causing the lining of the ****** to thin and preventing the embryo from staying implanted and growing.

Misoprostol (my-so-PROS-tol) causes the ****** to contract and expel the embryo through the ******. If you choose this type of medical abortion, you must visit your health care provider twice to take the medications and then afterward to make sure the abortion is complete.

Methotrexate injection and vaginal misoprostol. This type of medical abortion must be done within seven weeks of the first day of your last period. Methotrexate is given as a shot by your health care provider and the misoprostol is later used at home. You must visit your health care provider within a week of getting a methotrexate shot for an ultrasound to confirm if the abortion is complete. If the pregnancy continues, another dose of misoprostol will be given.

Vaginal misoprostol alone. This method may be used over a broader range of gestational ages, but requires scheduling multiple doses of the medication. Vaginal misoprostol alone can be effective in promoting the completion of a miscarriage — a spontaneous abortion where the embryo has died.

The medications used in a medical abortion cause vaginal bleeding and abdominal cramping. They may also cause: Nausea, Vomiting, Fever, Chills, Diarrhea, Headache.

You may be given medications to manage pain during and after the medical abortion. You may also be given antibiotics. Your health care provider will explain how much pain and bleeding to expect, depending on the number of weeks of your pregnancy. You might not be able to go about your normal daily routine during this time, but it's unlikely you'll need bed rest. Make sure you have plenty of absorbent sanitary pads.

If you have a medical abortion in a health care provider's office or clinic, you'll have a pelvic exam before you're given additional doses of misoprostol to see if the foetus has been expelled. The frequency and strength of your uterine contractions also will be monitored. While the most discomfort may last one to two hours, spotting before and bleeding after could last two weeks.

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You tried to pull a gun on me.
I just pulled mine faster
But what you don't know is
Three days later
I put my gun to my head.
I couldn't live with the fact
That I almost pulled the trigger on you
That I was ready to stop your threat.
What you don't know is one month later
I still had nightmares
That I overdosed on pills
Hoping to never wake up.
Six months later
I still see your face
I still think of the what ifs
One year later
I still wake up screaming
Fighting your invisible threat.
One year and six months later
You voice still haunts me.
You were eager to **** be because I wore a badge and gun.

My coworkers ***** me.
Two against me.
What you two didnt see
The detectives interrogated me.
Told me I asked for it
I should have fought back
One day later the detective picks me up
I tried over dosing minutes before they came
They noticed the cuts but didn't notice
That I was falling fast
I couldn't keep my eyes open.
My speech was slurring
I walked like i was drunk
I made it through the **** kit
I got home and slept for three days straight
One month later i quit my job.
My body couldn't handle the stress
I kept dissociating.
Six months later
I still couldn't have ***.
I started learning jujitsu
I had bought a gun
One year later
I was more confident
But i still feared ***
I feared men
I still had nightmares
Two years later
I'm still managing to struggle
I still hear your voices
Still see your faces
Still feel you in my dreams
Two years and six months later
I'm more confident.
I still have difficulty with men.
But now I am well on my way to be a police officer
An EMT
I can't let you win!
Ever!

00:49 Carmel momin' there
although men
it's scary
for almost anything you know after all the model
finally
garcia alcohol use at all
finale jurors
for them to you
often it is not
come on saturday
contain delaware
commune daze on
continue
housing
billion
went through the ebay
dosing
mean are you reading for only
emailing here and your mom
along all you are not
using spoon this long
didn't the Stalin
today is hamburger
3:31 darlin'

I see you,
As I walk my beat.
The soul who's life as been so rough
You've turned to drugs to cope.
I see you over dosing on the corner.
I call for help as you become a pulseless, nonbreather,
I start hands only CPR.
As they dispatch help.
Please don't give up.
There's so much more to life.
I give it my all as I hear the sirens blare in the night.
But help comes to late.
I stand in shock.
I give my statement.
I finish my shift and go home to cry.

I see you,
The guy trying to **** me because I wear a badge and a gun.
Please don't make me shoot you.
I just want to go home at night.
Shoots fired, shoots fired.
He's down, I gave him five warnings,
“show me your hands.”
I didn't want to.
Really I didn't.

I see you,
The guys that ***** me.
I see you
You forced my hand.
I can't walk the streets unarmed.
You messed with my head,
And got away with it.

The nightmares come.
I see them.
I want them to stop.
I'm so numb now.
I cut myself to feel again.
I see the scars.
I cover them.
Others cannot know I'm weak.
They look up to me.

The horrors I see.
Will they ever stop?

The doctors cant give you anything for the pain.

People ask me what it feels like to have no control
I tell them, it feels like freedom of the mind
It feels like the suffering never happened, the pain never scarred
And soaring through skies is possible, oh

I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
Whenever I need dosing
I could drink your love and smile
Knowing things will be okay,
That life will be okay

Seasons change and smiles fade
As I got older, I felt that I grew colder
And I, now all I do, is try to find replacements of feelings
With substances of nature and not

I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
Whenever I need dosing
I could drink your love and smile
Knowing things will be okay,
That life will be okay

Oh innocence,  bring me back to the world?
I've lost all control and I'm starting to feel the tole
Oh innocence, can we please make a truce?
I, promise you won't slip through my fingers
Won't dissolve in my veins
I will be sane

I wish I could go back, store all the love that you gave me
and put it in a bottle, your love at full throttle
But I know, that it's all up to me, if I want to be free
I must, spread my wings and put down the bottle

Put down the love, it's decayed anyway
The only thing left is water droplets stuck on the side
It's all on me now

He's part artist, part alchemist,
but a full-on con, self-professed with post-
graduate degrees in mixology
and the god-given sense to know which
smoldering home remedies will catch fire
(give or take an occasional legal glitch).

His healing pitch is grifted on the easy
comparison of queasily lowered brows to
their indistinctly raised betters. You'll doff
the scoffing face as he pulls back a masking
caparison, and your fever gallops hotly
hoof-in-mouth with an uncontrollable itch.

Tinctures, colloids, salves and potions,
they all have twisty caps, blithe boxes
bubbling over with hypnotic patterns
fashioned to cure your urge to avoid
his futility. First'll come the ******, then
the crumple followed by purse strings loosening.

Don't consider it capitulation.
His assortment of fluid manipulations
bear a singular branding at 100 proof,
and after the recommended daily dosing
(two jiggers with each meal), you'll feel
you're **** erectus made sapient.

Shut away the promising key the queen united is the ruler to be,
overdose runs through her veins,
over and over the dosing pains,
give her substance to numb back to ease,
as the flowers willow she takes pictures of trees,
she's under the sun and kicking back to reign,
she met a girl who hated the world,
she used her body to sell her soul,
down on her knees she wept on the floor,
screaming "god hates me"
she wanted more,
tracks in her arms,
yeah, she's down on the floor.

You could say she's quite the catch,
luminous lies she's stirred up her batch,
yeah, she's confused promiscuous and self abused,
inevitable places she used and used.

When nights get cold she's back at again,
the queen of addiction when will it end?
She cleans up her frown and tries to pretend,
spat out the blood and began to grin.

She took her hand and kissed the scars,
broke the needle as they drove in fast cars.
They shouted and screeched "This world is ours!"
She's stays a awhile,
just a bit of time,
her hand in hers,
fingers intwined,
breaking addiction with this inseparable bind,
opening new eyes leading away from blind,
weary and shooken it comes back,
a train through her veins,
track after track.

Wondering where her lover is out on the streets,
the terror in her heart as it beats and beats,
stranger after stranger this girl meets!

As her star-crossed lover is on the floor,
she's out with a man making money for more.
shakin' and shook,
at the end of the track,
the train has left the station she's not coming back.

Lorry lover pouring out those places,
the stop of a car as her heartbeat traces,
man after man,
meeting new faces.
bends down ties up her tattered torn laces,
the queen of addiction in her presence it graces,
6 feet under her lover places.

A tear on her black slim dress,
the queen of addiction put to rest.

Build me up, cut me down
Deep I sink into waters
Slowly drifting upside down
Flashing images remain to having my brother
Still alive, but to me, he is not the same
My father, king has the crown
Maybe should forgive him
Supposed to be the captain, yet you let this happen
Don't mind my mother, throat not-so-everlastin'
Detriments swallowed, at least no more liquid to slip

Rumination exit for brighter spaces
So in the end, I'll be a little less traceless
Fleeting emotions just as snow
Flakes of the past uniquely brought into glow
Shining through the cracks shedding under one's skin
Scoliosis, like backs seem to be breaking, it seems the past always wins
Life without control
Brings man to fold
Even if his cards were flipped
The sunken feelings persist like a final rock skip
Trying to ascertain thoughts of a warranted life
Reborn in the same world where the water's solely ****

Everyone gathered from all sides of the ocean
Earth was depleted of all positive emotion
The action of the people was a battle against the before
People who lived life just to watch the world burn
Dosing out the flame
Humanity saved itself from those to blame
Heroes' journey sought itself from pain
In this new life, there is no need, just change.

It was exactly 2:00 AM...
You had lost your cool
Only this time, was the last time
The little water left had finally boiled over
And now there's nothing left inside
***, ****, Crack, ******... Acid... Over Dosing...
Getting high, mentally exploding couldn't even do it anymore
And through your eyes, I guess I looked like:

Like a monster in your space show
Crushing the man in the moon, your best friend
Droughts would come into your life
Nobody helping, people running out of your heart
You caught easy like a lighter
Followed by a monsoon of angry tears and heavy depression
You sank to the bottom like a boulder
Nothing could stop these seasons
As I look back, you were incurable, made to self-destruct

I turned out to be the destroyer
Smashing ambitions and to be honest babe,
Your future darkened because of YOU, not me.
Yeah, I'm sorry I had to say goodbye, we all are...
It didn't help that I couldn't love you how you wanted me to.
A part of me went with you once you left Earth
And for some reason, I don't want it back.
Babe, Suicide Street has a cross on the side of the road in front of the old Oak.
Scratched into the little white wooden cross, is your name: Vail Hawkenson
Suicide Street just grew a little darker.
Now there's thunder booming, lightning cracks.
You're home now.

what did i get myself to?

Four letter word and dime and a nickel and a quarter of your time
to a bliss passing by 595
your breathing and chest sinking
your lips calm and keeping ,upon the hours
of a dosing night a lasting high
your front teeth milky white meets my frosty space
the diving hips
a collar trips
man i feel you pull through and it isn't enough to call me some coward
some dancing ***** hanging on to your very lips
you said maybe is there a way
i said nah yoo i ain't raised for that
i am a forty five pound lean launching machine
from outer space to your living set
and busy strutting with vowels and annunciations since i got the power
for the heys and nays
i got the power
i got the power so it
ain't easy to unfold and what hasn't been told before
i ain't some player, goldie lock mean hater
prestigious for the one word betrayers cause it is out bend and crying doesn't work anymore
i got the breast knuckles to my chest and i say the fury of a quiet man is lethal
i am begging you to tell me you aren't danger.

i'm dawning
i'm dashing
i'm dancing
i'm dwelling
i'm dying
i'm digging
i'm dishing
i'm diving
i'm dozing
i'm dragging
i'm dabbling
i'm drawing
i'm dropping
i'm dosing
i'm dredging
i'm dreaming
i'm drifting
i'm drinking
i'm driving
i'm delaying
i'm drowning
i'm dumping
i'm drilling

i'm dandy
i'm doleful
i'm delicious
i'm dapper
i'm daring
i'm dangling
i'm dangerous
i'm damaged
i'm ******
i'm daily



i'm david

The White Race
           &
The Black Base
In-fighting Nut-Case
Wearing kits & killing kins
Tracer bullets leave no trace!
Ak's & Ra's
Customized & hand made
Just Like Burger-king
Have it your way!
And this war is brought to you by
Your's Truly,
The infamous
NRA!
Cops shooting innocent by-standers on the block,
Innocent by-standers then copping Bump-stocks,
Dropping scores to make it count,
Odd murders 2 even out!
******'s posted atop rooftops,
Legislations to make him stop.
A "Mentally Challenged" Caucasian man who had gone AWOL?
Suddenly reappears like an Automatic A-hole
Posted @ the Hotel
Planning to **** wholesale
To get the maximum reward
Also to get closer to God,
Bodies 4 trophies
& Their Head's as his awards!
In the midst of all this
Another white supremacist
With absolutely no
Motor-skills
To run us over
& Cause massive kills
At Town Halls
Movie theaters and even at the Shopping mall
A Muslim nut-job
Planning blow-jobs
A darker American
A lighter Puerto Rican,
Or even a white broad,
Always someone@ur service
To start a brawl,
To ***** some skin
& Make it crawl,
To raise u up
Then Watch you fall.
Wild fires burning bodies bare
Of All colors,
From well done to medium rare,
White House to Gitmo
Water boarding & a bit more,
Laid back extreme sports!
**** 4 tats here,
Cliques & Gangs here
Bricks in the bag here
Clipped to the back rear,
**** yes No *** hair,
Shotguns no cab fare,
Tariffs on imports
Nuns & Nymphos
Hoes before bro's
Turning friend's into foes.
Deserted mill workers,
Over dosing on pill sherbets
Gettin' high 2 get by
Laugh hard then start to cry,
Suicides to feel Alive,
Straight up living
Just to curl up & die,
What a way to go
Get buried to touch the sKy!

Don’t send me to the hospital
I just left without a cure
Don’t feed me the drugs
My over-dosing habits are not pure
Don’t leave me suffering
Alone as you walk past
Just take me to the sea
Where I can float into infinity

Haunting these hallways
I surround friends with joy
Faking my way of life
So no one pulls me outside
Not like I’m filled inside
And it seems I like to criticize
All those girls for being fake.

While I know it’s true,
I can’t be too hypocritical
When I look at myself
As unrealistic projections
Of a happy adolescent

If you couldn’t tell,
Then I must be doing well
As my walls are built higher
And my skin grows a little tighter

I still get sick
Of going back every day
With all the ****** up acts
People commit inside the hellhole
I’m sworn to go to
Until my legal childhood dies

Most days, I’m scared to go back
When the treatment is this bad
And the punches are dealt the same
When the words leave the their mouths
And leave me hanging to on the edge
Suffering with more blood from razors

The past 12 years seem to merge
Into a big blurb of complete crap
I thought by now, we’d grow taller and mature
From the childish **** of the past

They’re still satisfied with producing slurs
Just because I’m not at their ‘perfect stature’
That’s when I wonder what’s going to change
Am I ever going to take a jump away
And find some way to escape
While a month and a half seems so short
Being told you’re a **** up every day
Makes the days a little bit longer

What if I didn’t come back tomorrow
Or all the days after that
What if I said oh ***** it
And left the world in a snap
What will they say, when someone tells them
It was their faults from their words and their actions

And as every day continues
To be another fight for a healthy mental state
I just lay down at night thinking
Sometimes I wish I could die.

He thinks an over-dose,
Will seal the contract,
But now I'm over-dosing,
On something else,
Addicted to a drug,
More dangerous than any other by far,

Such a cruel drug is Love,
Luring you in,
Too fast, too soon,
Consuming all your time,
While you're loving every minute of it,
Leaving you dependant,
Desiring nothing but to close the distance,
Ever so vulnerable to heart-break

She regained her humanity, felt herself dosing off from the effects,
Of her everlasting anemia, to sustain her ivy as it labored to,
Heal her bruised and broken body.
I didn't ask for any of this, all I wanted was to be loved,
And permitted to wander the halls of my entitlement,
Weightless and carefree...

Tears streaked down his cheeks,
Why didn't they realize it hurt.
It started with a single word.
"Useless" and they killed him.

Days turned into months.
Yet his tormentors didn't let him go.
Angry, bitter, afraid and left alone,
Like arrows, the words began to pierce his soul.

Weak. Stupid. Idiot. ****.
The voices in his head,
Were no longer his friends.
Useless filth why not end it?

Left alone, with those brutal voices.
With those horrible fears,
Alone with those terrible words,
He took to the blade.

He watched the blood leave his veins,
His skin grow cold and pale.
USELESS. USELESS. USELESS.
Carved forever on his skin.

No goodbyes, no more horror.
After having written down,
All the secrets he could spill,
Before dosing on a dozen sleeping pills.

my first binder came by air mail
from China or Japan
and i thought that it would fit
after having accidentally told my mother i was transgender
and needed something to hide my *******
the look on her face broke my heart
so i backpedaled and said it was for cosplay
my heart too broke that day
because i was afraid that she wouldn’t
love her son as much as she loved her daughter

and it went sour for a while
we yelled instead of talked
i over dosed and self harmed
instead of asking for help
and then i tried to **** myself
in a rather selfish manner
my little sister was right next door
and i didn’t care
because right then
i was packed and ready to go

but who ever resides up there
wouldn’t let me enter the pearly whites
or the burned and blackened coffin doors of hell
which ever would get the biggest laugh
because i assumed that my life was the **** of a joke
that i wouldn’t be told the punch line to
rob told me it was sara’s dad
the same person that kicked him out too
and i believe in that with all of my being
because it’s better than believing in nothing at all

back to my being transgender
which is all my poetry is about
that and cutting and over dosing and the promise of ***
still to be fulfilled
and how much i hate myself
i am a broken record
but i read somewhere to write what you know
and my sadness is all that i know
i accidentally became my depression
and lost myself along the way

i am transgender
which means i was given the gender that my reproductive organs expressed
i identified as a girl for the first sixteen years of my life
then tumblr and family told me what transgender means
and i found that it applied to me
at first i was scared
i didn’t tell my family first
though i did tell my uncle first when i came out as a lesbian
i told some friends first because facing the screen was easier
than facing my family

but it does get better
and you should stick around to see that it really does
because the sun always comes out tomorrow
whether you sleep with your curtains closed or not
the sun always comes out tomorrow
annie agrees with me
and we are going to lose more
and more brother and sisters
but we can stop this
just listen to us
love us
accept us
and for the love of god
don’t ask me what is in my pants

I chose, well before the poison set in.
No, not this time. Shut that door.
In the darkness, I chewed my thoughts,
Palpable question, **** those old ideas.
They burnt out fast but I did much quicker.

Told myself to take warmth
beneath some other shelter,
because I ached down to the bone.
Yet I was too busy stifling the moan
Radiating from my gut.
Swallow, stare, shall I part my hair?

Fiddling with my fingers-
a child’s pantomime
At least I dare to speak
but I’m no longer at home
and not a soul
speaks
my language.

I bent my head on the ride back.
Dragging my neck, crooked in delusional defeat,
my glances traced trash the metro floor
afraid the people were staring daggers at the surface.
Indeed, somewhere a light bulb did burst
but I was already making my way up the stairs
so the shards were at a distance
I escaped unscathed

I chose well, before the poison set in,
No not this time, I shut that door
In the darkness, I slept alone
Pas de question, **** that history
I give heed to dosing & remain alight

All he Oh! Ee-ee easy-does-it
Swift mastery_Crazy-has - its
shape me-energy love form
True witness philosophy
Silently neck to neck sadness
her pearls split pulled
her down into poverty

The emergency, madness
the young ones or wild ones
fertility all pearls majesty
of greatness
innocently, existentially
Her down-side persistently
lift divinely hands Manly-lovely

        (Pearl jewelry box)
His swift moves love ecstasy
My swift lift any of so many
True Fox another Lift- to see
Eyes to his left territory his turf

He is the lefty so pearly for her
So cultured girly pearly
Those were the days dosing off
My friends all daisy
*    _    _    _ *  _    _    _    

What a phaseout/ lazy fuse
But perk me up pink pearls
of white
His swift moves took a day off
Trying so hard to be polite
Hands work into tandem
Her rhythm Pearly  kingdom
She chopped him
like chop suey
Her skin on the bread rise
All floured white specks

Pearly spa cream perfect
Facelift Eeey foggy day in
London pearly glow
rainy town

Everything turned like a
A cafe without the group
Well cultured Dowop
The pearl paint swirl crop
The heroes and beloved
In the Holy Land

Come to me casual softly
spoken lend me your hand
pearly gloves
The pearl potential
the feeling mutual
Fitting and tasseled roped
into the musical
Swift flowing hair's no rings
 attached
to the back of our chairs

The darkness of the lover  
The black/gray pearls two pairs
Spiritual mundane existence
Karmic cycle her game portal
Spiritual plan of ritual

Eating pearl white chocolate morsels

The Steam, dream, in between,
Fundamental not comical
Something in the way she knows
Not really superhuman star how
it faded or belated feel be traded
She submerged beyond mortal

In her Galley cooking up
French cream sauce how
it sparkled Eeey milky
Ms. Mallery was pearlized
so traumatized so sulky
by his presence

Hides her pearl key-note
In her swift lift
(Artsy Gallery)
His face blended into the
pearl all framed

All the pearly Wedgewood
plates looking glass
world gates
Pearly cream color stage duet
To the sun pearly necklace
Cost her a delicate cream neck
Her Spa Tra  he hands her la la
Eeey milky honey smile
Hot MaMa
pearly text me trail

Her emails mount Fuji
Her striking pearls got to his heart
The film hum yum bite
The pearl jam flew
The big show nibble
Her bible she felt gullible
The words deepened ******
But the soft low key
Key lime mixed with coconut
           *Pearl Hey?
So swiftly swirled vanilla sky
sold her photograph
and chinchilla

The Seashell cottage her
footprints 'Pearl Rock" band

She was devoted to him truly
Pearl pledge was our duty
Swiftly mixed the marbelized
white/cream floor loved
and cared for protected
The Dr. pearl met Melody
Money like commodity
The patients pearled better care

With her  Moms, pearls mixing twirls
On his trimming suits cuffs of pearls
She was the pies smile every day
Swift honey eyes Winnie the Pooh

But more adult Eeeey truly I love you
Her silken strand's tightrope loop
Her power pearl British Colony
of Hong Kong exile

Morning draped dawn
The Chelsea ride of dusk
  Her favorite hint of
(Pearl Rose)
The musk elephant pearls
on his tusk
High up her pearly stocking,
Like her pride, was rocking
he took out the joy of her gift

The writing clause feathered
pearl drops the pen took her
dream away like a truce
The Gods know they love
The Gleam through her
windows
Left a strand of her starry
eyes of pearls were shut closed

I guess my name is Fentyn
And I'm here to **** you all
Head to toe in xannies I don't give a **** at all
I'm coming for your grannies all your underpaid nannies
But first I'll **** your life up bet on every nook and cranny
made a couple asian friends their eyes are always slanting
But now from where you're standing I can do a some more enchanting
Now your boys suckin **** and your girl is dropping *******
This could have been avoided with a tiny bit of planning
It's almost rock bottom now you're panting when you're ranting
You're just another grain or two from hearing angels chanting
If it's death you're really after I'm then pretty close to granting
Just be prepared for landing

Come and meet my friends
Come and meet my friends
The only ones I know who'll be around until the end
They're all I've ever known and the bond has only grown
Look for my obituary, 23, unknown

I'm a little alcohol
Here for good times
And when you sober up its gone
Then you'll know you're mine
When we hang I'm feeling fine
But when you leave I can't ignore the tingle in my spine
A little longer and it hits my face and fingers but I'm fine
Except now I'm seizing and alone but this isn't how I'm dying
No one to reach if I could reach my phone but man I'm trying
Try to change it all you want man our fates are  intertwining
Face it you'll be buried with a fifth of scotch and red wine
Then when you're feeling like the grapes hanging on the vine
Bleed out internally or be a *****
bring a nine to the pines

Come and meet my friends
Come and meet my friends
The only ones I know who'll be around until the end
They're all I've ever known and the bond has only grown
Look for my obituary, 23, unknown

I'm a little doctor, short and stout
Here are your pills, now get the **** out
When I get all steamed up hear me about
Jesus ******* **** me please I really just want out
Swallow the medicine smoke synonyms get the venom in
Bring your inner felon in, it's not a matter of melanin
It's a matter of dosing before you blow your melon in
Wake up with regret take half and try to sell them then
Use the rest on dope and rent and pay them off in 5s and 10s
Visions so blurry think you're paying out in yen
Get some sleep, I'll be here, we can do it all again

Ahem
I can talk about it because it's okay we're all friends here right?
Love you guys til the end

From being a teenage girl
In a public high school
I see my fair share of drug deals
And stoners lighting up in the bathroom
Kids over dosing in the parking lot.
Ive been to a good amount of parties
Where my best friends sprawl out all over their
Newest boy interests, sipping down alcohol
To take off just a little bit of pressure.
Ive held hair back as someone throws up
And admits that they did it on purpose
Because they ate that piece of pizza
And that they hate making them self gag.
Ive smelled the marajuana
Lacing the words about how youre fine
And how your ‘so relaxed’ now
And you dont care about anything
And so now ive relaized that
These things are drugs
For when you feel everything
To make you feel nothing

waking up in the middle of the night
struggling to breathe
searching for anything my eyes can find
noticing all the little statics of reality
this is a losing fight
and no one can save me
here, there is no individuality
sleeping is micro dosing death
and when i realized that
eternal slumber didn't worry me as much

Dangerous words are the ones that slip
under our guard.
They nestle next to us at night,
and whisper treacle-sweet nothings
that trickle and slide down canals
to a dosing mind, honeying the way.
They want to ensure easy passage
for the poison kept still at bay.

They tuck us in,
fluff our pillows and our egos,
till we give them freely
those moments of sincerity.
All those genuine smiles and hitched breaths,
we suppose their value
was in their exclusivity.

We break off these pieces of truth
like our hearts are homemade chocolate,
and hand them over in pretty gift wrap.

It’s when these snakes have us so charmed
and they are sated,
that they finally snap and spit.

Their bites are full of venom,
and we see their fangs too late.

As the straps in your jacket tighten,
Soon your body will be dosing off pills,
Your mind will be played by "Doctors",
Lose all your sanity,
Uneasy pieces put together,
Make your head insane.

She dips behind the mount
taunting with her song.
"Light fades quickly," she says.
"Yes or no?" Such a simple question.
She smiled at him,
her fiery lips kissing
the highest boughs.
It weighs in his pocket,
tugging at the heart
on his sleeve.
She knows his mind.
Dosing now, she watches
as glinting diamonds tell
the choices of eternity.

I woke up to an empty room.
another day of pills and liquor
to forget how painful a heart broke is.
How it feels like you're
burning and freezing at the same time.

Swallowing the pills down,
I force my self to function.
even though I feel like walking on a bed
of jagged pieces of my heart
that is left brittle and wasn't mine anymore
It pumps weakly, desperate for the feeling
of warmth and happiness.

My heart is yours and you discarded it.
Leaving it unwanted on the floor that I used to call a solace from world.

You discarded it on the room where you proposed your undying love to me.

I chug down bottle after bottle of numbness.
trying to drown down your tutting voice that reminds me to take care of my self.
Trying to drown all the memories of us with the golden toxic that I stocked up in the cupboard because it's your favorite.

I want to tell you that I didn't shed any tears.
You would smile at that
and said," That's my girl".

It hurts that I am not your girl anymore.
It hurts that even consuming all the things I wished you would stop using, I still can't hate you for leaving.
I still can't hate you after you engrave abandontmend into my tailbone, making my spine cold and heavy with unsecurity and dread.

I still can't hate you so I'll hate my self.

So I chug and chug again.
Swallowing pills upon pills.
Over dosing my self with numbness because
feeling the pain isn't an option.
I've built my life around you and the walls are crumbling and crumbling and crumbling.
I'm to ******* afraid that once the numbness is gone i'll be left only as ashes to scatter.

Misery is my constant companion these days.

I've learned the curve of it's lips kissing the top of my head,
remember the sound of it's voice as it soothe me into a state of catatonic disarray and the diability to continue dancing with life.

I forgot how to dance with out a partner.

I still have not shed any tears for you.
Your smile and your laugh keep echoing in my head and I want to scream until i turned into a shade.

I wonder If I'm trying to turn my self into the wraith that you always fascinated with.

I still wear the ring on my finger. I tried throwing it away but my eyes burns and I do not want to be a promise breaker.
Even if my whole body is trembling and my every beat of my heart brings sparks of pain that sears to my body, I will not be a promise breaker.

I still wore your ring on my finger.

So I chug again and again and again.
Until my mind was hazed enough, unable to make the connection of gold to your eyes.
To make a connection of white to your teeth.
To temporarily ceased to remember you and your stupid hair.

To temporarily forget about how it feels like my hearts is being squeezed tight every time I see you anywhere.

There's white foam on the corner of my mouth.
It reminds me of Hans Christian's Little Mermaid.
Of the mermaid's love and how it turned her to foam.

So when the morning light comes, I wished for my self to turn into foam instead of days where it is filled with broken bottles, white pills, and the fact that you left me for my sister

I wish for me to be strong enough to stab the heart that yearns for you and remove your ring from my finger.

Cuddling in bed
Spooning
Your breath against my neck

You slide your hand down my side
Squeeze my hip
My eyes are closed slowly dosing off

You pull your boxers down
Rubbing your **** against my ***
My eyes open as a smile

You run your fingers up my body
Start playing with my *******
I bite my lip a lil

You start kissing and licking my neck deeply
I tilt my head back smiling ****
You pin me on the bed

Face down
You feel my ***
Spread my legs

Shove your **** in me
I moan softly
Going hard and fast

Oh my god!
You feel my ****
Spank my ***

While you make me wet
You pull my hair
Saying I'm a naughty girl