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"collegiate" poems
Oh, hello.. I ask Motivation to ravage me So **** and out of reach I wonder if he’ll notice me Hey, Motivation. Do I look **** with this Adderall? When I dress like an adult? When I spread my books wide open? When I arch my back right out of bed Does it make you want me? Motivation, get out of my head! I’m kidding... I like it when you taunt me. When I think of you I salivate Look out my window, watch you all day You look so **** that special way You work those other students. I’ll bite my lip and I’ll slowly crawl Right to class, backpack and all My eyes intense with innocence Please don’t take your eyes off me. Motivation, you know just what I like When you make my grade point average rise Look, Daddy-- my schedules so tight But I still manage to squeeze in several hours to write Oh Daddy… Can I play with your friends? Maturity, and Ambition? I’m a spoiled brat but I’ll listen Tie me up so I can’t deny you Tell me “I’m gonna be inside you” Please, Motivation I want to ride you Have your friends watch… After that, you can tell them to join in So collegiate it must be a sin I’m a ****** to this sort of thing I guess I’ll take off my immaturity ring For all you guys I’ll be so special Fill my head with names until I go mental Like “hardworking” and “determined” Until I’m submissive to school and working. Now let’s pretend That I’m the student I’ll call you sir, Please don’t be prudent Here’s my homework Make me do it. Mr. Motivation…. You know whats ***** My bedroom floor. Here I’ll  bend over And clean it more. My goodness, this isn’t like me! I’m married! Don’t you see? This is merely fantasy! I’m incapable of priorities! …When it’s against to whom I’m wed. For now I’ll ride my washing machine I’m faking that I am with thee But this isn’t homework and my room’s not clean I am just a bored wife of Apathy.
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Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 12:28 PM UTC
Seducing Motivation
Oh, hello.. I ask Motivation to ravage me So **** and out of reach I wonder if he’ll notice me Hey, Motivation. Do I look **** with this Adderall? When I dress like an adult? When I spread my books wide open? When I arch my back right out of bed Does it make you want me? Motivation, get out of my head! I’m kidding... I like it when you taunt me. When I think of you I salivate Look out my window, watch you all day You look so **** that special way You work those other students. I’ll bite my lip and I’ll slowly crawl Right to class, backpack and all My eyes intense with innocence Please don’t take your eyes off me. Motivation, you know just what I like When you make my grade point average rise Look, Daddy-- my schedules so tight But I still manage to squeeze in several hours to write Oh Daddy… Can I play with your friends? Maturity, and Ambition? I’m a spoiled brat but I’ll listen Tie me up so I can’t deny you Tell me “I’m gonna be inside you” Please, Motivation I want to ride you Have your friends watch… After that, you can tell them to join in So collegiate it must be a sin I’m a ****** to this sort of thing I guess I’ll take off my immaturity ring For all you guys I’ll be so special Fill my head with names until I go mental Like “hardworking” and “determined” Until I’m submissive to school and working. Now let’s pretend That I’m the student I’ll call you sir, Please don’t be prudent Here’s my homework Make me do it. Mr. Motivation…. You know whats ***** My bedroom floor. Here I’ll  bend over And clean it more. My goodness, this isn’t like me! I’m married! Don’t you see? This is merely fantasy! I’m incapable of priorities! …When it’s against to whom I’m wed. For now I’ll ride my washing machine I’m faking that I am with thee But this isn’t homework and my room’s not clean I am just a bored wife of Apathy.
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63
People keep asking me how I’m doing. If I’m getting better or if I’ve taken the time to process what’s happened. If I’ve sought professional help for the metal percussions induced by my career-ending injury. In all honesty though, professional help is futile. It can’t save me now. I’m walking through hell and sitting in a ring of fire discussing the temperature of the searing flames would be idiotic. Why would I allow the flames to dance along my already seared skin longer than necessary? I know they’re hot. I know I’m in hell. I know the pain I feel every day is real and crippling. Talking about this pain wouldn’t end it. It wouldn’t diminish the heat. It wouldn’t help. I need to keep walking. I just need to keep walking. My crippled body can’t run anymore, but I’ve got to keep walking. Others continue to rush by. Frantic because they’ve never felt the flames. They aren’t familiar with the burn. The idea of being in hell is novel. They are novices.   But life hasn’t been kind to me. These flames are familiar with every curve of my body and they dance around with trained feet. I’ve been in hell for years. People continue suggesting I find the light at the end of the tunnel, but that’s near impossible here. I’m too blinded by the brightness of a vehement flame. Sizzling with an angry vigor for the lack of gratitude I bestowed on my past life. It mocks the speed at which I used to be able to run. It laps sardonically at the feet that used to run cheer-inducing speeds without thanks from their owner. But crowds don’t cheer my name anymore. I now stand on the sidelines and watch my team play. I burn alive for the game I used to breath and as I watch each and every game, the deep breaths of oxygen only continue alighting the fire. There’s no way out it seems, but I will try to keep walking. Because talking is futile. Note: Spinal diseases are crippling mentally and physically. Watching the body you've sculpted for years turn to mush because you can't workout is dilapidating . The despair and helplessness are unfamiliar feelings, feelings that can't be overcome. Disease is disease and sometimes it can't be stopped. Sometimes, it just becomes a burden to bear. And sometimes people aren't strong enough. It's different when careers end after four years of college. An expected end, an anticipated end. But when things you love are taken from you abruptly, before your finished. The pain is exponentially worse. Exponentially. Worse.
0
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 1:41 PM UTC
Career-Ending Injuries: the collegiate struggle in hell
People keep asking me how I’m doing. If I’m getting better or if I’ve taken the time to process what’s happened. If I’ve sought professional help for the metal percussions induced by my career-ending injury. In all honesty though, professional help is futile. It can’t save me now. I’m walking through hell and sitting in a ring of fire discussing the temperature of the searing flames would be idiotic. Why would I allow the flames to dance along my already seared skin longer than necessary? I know they’re hot. I know I’m in hell. I know the pain I feel every day is real and crippling. Talking about this pain wouldn’t end it. It wouldn’t diminish the heat. It wouldn’t help. I need to keep walking. I just need to keep walking. My crippled body can’t run anymore, but I’ve got to keep walking. Others continue to rush by. Frantic because they’ve never felt the flames. They aren’t familiar with the burn. The idea of being in hell is novel. They are novices.   But life hasn’t been kind to me. These flames are familiar with every curve of my body and they dance around with trained feet. I’ve been in hell for years. People continue suggesting I find the light at the end of the tunnel, but that’s near impossible here. I’m too blinded by the brightness of a vehement flame. Sizzling with an angry vigor for the lack of gratitude I bestowed on my past life. It mocks the speed at which I used to be able to run. It laps sardonically at the feet that used to run cheer-inducing speeds without thanks from their owner. But crowds don’t cheer my name anymore. I now stand on the sidelines and watch my team play. I burn alive for the game I used to breath and as I watch each and every game, the deep breaths of oxygen only continue alighting the fire. There’s no way out it seems, but I will try to keep walking. Because talking is futile. Note: Spinal diseases are crippling mentally and physically. Watching the body you've sculpted for years turn to mush because you can't workout is dilapidating . The despair and helplessness are unfamiliar feelings, feelings that can't be overcome. Disease is disease and sometimes it can't be stopped. Sometimes, it just becomes a burden to bear. And sometimes people aren't strong enough. It's different when careers end after four years of college. An expected end, an anticipated end. But when things you love are taken from you abruptly, before your finished. The pain is exponentially worse. Exponentially. Worse.
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34
"She did the laundry in the mirror of me I saw myself in the mirror and disagreed with the smell, The thought of you was beautiful, but I was wrong, and a feeling of discontent -ment came over me," Misspellings Mispronunciations An unconquerable world of big money I parted ways with the large and saw another even larger world, One that was intelligent and reads the Wall Street Journal, listens to NPR, and says "wow" at the sound of hearing one million dollars, or upon hearing about San Francisco start-ups, or Silicon Valley. Or the opposite, in some ways, but still very similar to - Virginia Woolf. whose book on feminism which I'm unable to explain fully other than to say that she suggests that women only need a bedroom, money, clothes, etc., or rather, less than etc. in that, they need little, but only the bare supplies. That they should be able to supply themselves with what they need for when their husband, which, you know, is not required, in her eyes, for when he separates from her and leaves her 'in the dust,' alone without anything, perhaps only with a child, or in another instance, estate-less, with only a white dress, really more of kitchen-robe than anything else; like Virginia Woolf says, we should really try and dismantle the patriarchy that we write and tell about. Reader, what do you after reading a story, article, or book on radical or moderate feminism say? The boys, like me, who will tell, or, try to tell their perspective of the book and say to the closest person around them, "I just read a great book by Virginia Woolf, she brings to mind an image of a university with white buildings and ends of roofs of university buildings leading along to the the main hall of architecture buildings, with sidewalks pristine and underneath people walking in their sweaters, collegiate, and later to make their way to art history classes in the fall evening. So, like Virginia Woolf, who makes you ask why you're not at the Parthenon, but instead are inside of your house, in a city that you don't want to be in, at a hospital, in your apartment, or surrounded by whoever, she nevertheless gives you have a feeling of longing-ness and a strong emotion of want. Virginia Woolf when will we go to Greece together? What do you know about Athens and classical architecture, I nearly beg you. December 30th 2018 7:11am
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Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 9:51 PM UTC
Virginia Woolf
"She did the laundry in the mirror of me I saw myself in the mirror and disagreed with the smell, The thought of you was beautiful, but I was wrong, and a feeling of discontent -ment came over me," Misspellings Mispronunciations An unconquerable world of big money I parted ways with the large and saw another even larger world, One that was intelligent and reads the Wall Street Journal, listens to NPR, and says "wow" at the sound of hearing one million dollars, or upon hearing about San Francisco start-ups, or Silicon Valley. Or the opposite, in some ways, but still very similar to - Virginia Woolf. whose book on feminism which I'm unable to explain fully other than to say that she suggests that women only need a bedroom, money, clothes, etc., or rather, less than etc. in that, they need little, but only the bare supplies. That they should be able to supply themselves with what they need for when their husband, which, you know, is not required, in her eyes, for when he separates from her and leaves her 'in the dust,' alone without anything, perhaps only with a child, or in another instance, estate-less, with only a white dress, really more of kitchen-robe than anything else; like Virginia Woolf says, we should really try and dismantle the patriarchy that we write and tell about. Reader, what do you after reading a story, article, or book on radical or moderate feminism say? The boys, like me, who will tell, or, try to tell their perspective of the book and say to the closest person around them, "I just read a great book by Virginia Woolf, she brings to mind an image of a university with white buildings and ends of roofs of university buildings leading along to the the main hall of architecture buildings, with sidewalks pristine and underneath people walking in their sweaters, collegiate, and later to make their way to art history classes in the fall evening. So, like Virginia Woolf, who makes you ask why you're not at the Parthenon, but instead are inside of your house, in a city that you don't want to be in, at a hospital, in your apartment, or surrounded by whoever, she nevertheless gives you have a feeling of longing-ness and a strong emotion of want. Virginia Woolf when will we go to Greece together? What do you know about Athens and classical architecture, I nearly beg you. December 30th 2018 7:11am
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41
a person on the metro, six stops from their destination leafing through a brochure titled How To Get Rich Quick - sighing in disgust, "I was never allowed to go on the metro when I was young," boasts the woman sitting beside them, an accessory of The Scene. a prop (voice is loud and nasally, and the person - five stops - considers moving) quick smile, polite: which means, go away. or, at the very least, don't talk quite so loud okay? okay? a softcover Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is under the seat, discarded, Sharpie skidding through it (four stops) at every jolt of the train. this is normal, all trains are jerky sometimes, and the loud woman expresses her concerns. an old man, older than both people, older than anything really - coughs. wet coughs. the person frowns, but quietly, so the woman and man won't notice. (they are well-practiced in the art of subtlety) three stops. the woman leaves but the smell lingers and the dictionary, having slid back one or two rows for effect a flock of tourists board. kids in the seats parents hanging tiredly to safety holds (be still be quiet keep your hands to yourself, mandy a little boy of six clinging to the person's jacket with sticky warm fingers) two stops, and the boy asks why they look so sad. what they're reading. they have perfected the art of silence but little boys don't understand silence. the mother hovers in the background sneaking ***** looks at the person, wax smudged smile going crooked at the edges one stop, the boy asks where they got their hair (my head; he is unimpressed) he is kicking the lonely dictionary providing it with company, or maybe unaware. they leave, and the mother hisses something at them as they pass - clutches the boy's arm. the dictionary has been stuck on the word spectral for three days, and the train hums to life.
0
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 9:28 AM UTC
still life taken from a moving train, 1997
a person on the metro, six stops from their destination leafing through a brochure titled How To Get Rich Quick - sighing in disgust, "I was never allowed to go on the metro when I was young," boasts the woman sitting beside them, an accessory of The Scene. a prop (voice is loud and nasally, and the person - five stops - considers moving) quick smile, polite: which means, go away. or, at the very least, don't talk quite so loud okay? okay? a softcover Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is under the seat, discarded, Sharpie skidding through it (four stops) at every jolt of the train. this is normal, all trains are jerky sometimes, and the loud woman expresses her concerns. an old man, older than both people, older than anything really - coughs. wet coughs. the person frowns, but quietly, so the woman and man won't notice. (they are well-practiced in the art of subtlety) three stops. the woman leaves but the smell lingers and the dictionary, having slid back one or two rows for effect a flock of tourists board. kids in the seats parents hanging tiredly to safety holds (be still be quiet keep your hands to yourself, mandy a little boy of six clinging to the person's jacket with sticky warm fingers) two stops, and the boy asks why they look so sad. what they're reading. they have perfected the art of silence but little boys don't understand silence. the mother hovers in the background sneaking ***** looks at the person, wax smudged smile going crooked at the edges one stop, the boy asks where they got their hair (my head; he is unimpressed) he is kicking the lonely dictionary providing it with company, or maybe unaware. they leave, and the mother hisses something at them as they pass - clutches the boy's arm. the dictionary has been stuck on the word spectral for three days, and the train hums to life.
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51
F*ck you for encouraging me to take out more than I needed F*ck you for not explaining the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized F*ck you for judging my eligibility based on my parent’s income and not my own F*ck you for pretending to look out for my best interest F*ck you for making me decide on whether to pay you, or go to the hospital F*ck you for harassing me via phone and email F*ck you for transferring my loans to a different company F*ck you for asking for money back BEFORE I graduated F*ck you for asking for money AFTER I graduated with NO job F*ck you for asking for MORE money after I got a job F*ck you for transferring my loans to a different company (again) F*ck you for suggesting a 30year repayment plan F*ck you for the high interest rates that negate the payments I was able to make F*ck you for adjusting my repayment plan without my consent F*ck you for suggesting a lower monthly payment as I crept toward full repayment F*ck your shoes with the belts on them (Boondocks) And F*ck Donald Trump This is America sucka. The land of the free, and home of the brave Not the sea of debt and house of enslavement So, Fck you from the bottom of my heart, and if you call me again I’m gonna slap the sht out of you Goodbye forever
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Aug 25, 2017
Aug 25, 2017 at 5:41 PM UTC
YFBY: An Ode to Student Loans and the Collegiate Education System
Cooped up in my humble abode and privacy unheard of before and now. The friction of my shoes emerged to undesirable friction of my four walls. Ratcheting up of worries about my future, I pondered when would this pandemic end. My predicament sent me reeling so I convinced myself to juxtapose with countries reeling. A short joy on the end of my collegiate life soon accounted to the fueled uncertainties of the job market. Success used to be landing a remunerative job but now they said, landing any job would be a blessing. What about my dreams? They ought to cease to exist. It is no longer about dreams. It is about being alive. My demise, the demise of an industry, the demise of a country and the demise of the world. The ghastly truth of how my simple action of staying at home would impact the safe havens of many. A true test to my character in avoidance of getting positive from the test of COVID-19. For I know I am not alone.
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Apr 26, 2020
Apr 26, 2020 at 3:54 AM UTC
COVID-19, I am not alone.
Homesick or just sick Unsettled by the clock's tick Thinking of posters on my wall, of furry paws in my face Longing for familiar footsteps in the hall, for discussions of grace I want fangs and feuds and cutthroat nights Not to look over my shoulder between homebound lights Homebound, not for months and seasons I want to call but I have no reason Even my imagination left some things behind They lived at home though I thought they lived in my mind Now I feel truly alone But who wants to hear untroubled youth moan? Not sick for home but sick for my friends An empty ache I don't think time can mend And I won't feel better locked in this new room Knowing I'll be gone when hometown flowers bloom December, holidays, so far from home For a frightened foolish freshman who wanted to roam Afraid to move forward and out Terrified whispers and tears masked by shouts Same album plays again and again Hoping some peace will find its way in Maybe If I just take the clock off the wall Time would stop, or go back, and we'd forget it all Tie our highway hopes tight with small road ropes And collegiate walks back to high school talks Could I dream Awake Alone With you I know it's true But I can't imagine that you're lonely too
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Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 5:51 PM UTC
Minor Fall
Scoffed Pink pigtails nestle on rusted wire. Captives  and their butterflies, borrow hope till dawn . Way back they surrendered their dignity. Hallowed chapters of  Collegiate sobriety tussled  wearing a dress like a **** of hay. How can they un- burden future  perception? I know of the fire storm back home but the expectancy is forgone Extended with shame Pink Rayon complies disparagingly already moribund.
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Nov 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012 at 3:35 PM UTC
Past Pink Pigtails
Don't forget that, I whisper to The pillow under Your cool moonlight. A sacrifice to My God, To your terra-cotta lips, Warm and glimmering, Like the tiles on a July day, On that chateau we stayed at in Nice. To your laugh, Gaffawing at a viral sensation, Bursting like the atomic bombs, To me, it's a champagne cork, That night in the balcony fountain. To your eyelids closed, The same ivory shade of your breast, And our children's cheeks As you held them, cuddle them, Tickle them, sob with them, So right in our roomy, rickety home. To your breath, Taken in like a quick pull of a line, Your arching spine, Parallels the bridge above our heads, As we sail on Catalina in the Sound. To your hands, Crinkled soft like paper, Tears ran down those creases As we passed through the shadows. But don't cry, wherever you are, For I am with you. In the creaking of the pedals, As you tumble off your bike. The sheets pulled over your face, Your body racked with sobs for Some boy, a cosmic second. I am with you in the bright gold of your cords, As you cross the stage for your diploma. I am with you on the dreary playground, As children in puffer coats and hats pick fun at you. I am with you in the collegiate cologne of the moment you gave it all up, Some boy, a cosmic second. But I am with you most in The moment you gained it all back, That supernova, explosion When we realized, like two old friends We'd been there together all the long, Birth to *** to birth to sick to death And all the love between, And then there was no part.
0
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011 at 12:57 AM UTC
Tethered Lines
Don't forget that, I whisper to The pillow under Your cool moonlight. A sacrifice to My God, To your terra-cotta lips, Warm and glimmering, Like the tiles on a July day, On that chateau we stayed at in Nice. To your laugh, Gaffawing at a viral sensation, Bursting like the atomic bombs, To me, it's a champagne cork, That night in the balcony fountain. To your eyelids closed, The same ivory shade of your breast, And our children's cheeks As you held them, cuddle them, Tickle them, sob with them, So right in our roomy, rickety home. To your breath, Taken in like a quick pull of a line, Your arching spine, Parallels the bridge above our heads, As we sail on Catalina in the Sound. To your hands, Crinkled soft like paper, Tears ran down those creases As we passed through the shadows. But don't cry, wherever you are, For I am with you. In the creaking of the pedals, As you tumble off your bike. The sheets pulled over your face, Your body racked with sobs for Some boy, a cosmic second. I am with you in the bright gold of your cords, As you cross the stage for your diploma. I am with you on the dreary playground, As children in puffer coats and hats pick fun at you. I am with you in the collegiate cologne of the moment you gave it all up, Some boy, a cosmic second. But I am with you most in The moment you gained it all back, That supernova, explosion When we realized, like two old friends We'd been there together all the long, Birth to *** to birth to sick to death And all the love between, And then there was no part.
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53
Im coming of age In the era of the devoid Hollow greed seeps unearned from elephanitus of love all the dead *** heads and the glorifed child **** stars live in tandem with virginity commerce a descriptive high full of lies here we are raised to never forget the look on a beautiful girls face when the zippers break and all the mallets fall when mud and blood and ***** mix to a collegiate concoction Leaving her to bear the scabbing burns The openings the ambrosia flesh wounds The giant stamp of pulsing indecency The markings don’t go so well with her hollow moon smiles They don’t blend with her regal clavicles To bend them in with a wrench Would do no damage to this already feral ***** Don’t try to hide The billboards may be sagging But they carry the message loud and effeminate All the drum ticks and coated arteries will explode They cant be stopped Mucho gusto, muy bien All that we ever where locked into some Tooth paste stained and tattered bibliomeca It is true I have become that broken shameful collection Which we are taught to stain in the wood works of our memory I turn to page 1168 And I know that the bruises will be permanent Surrounding the globe and bridging in the gaps The ones that they left between your calamity eyes Will they still love me with one foot locked in a bear trap And a hobo having the last of my eyelashes ? Or maybe just the scary albinos at the san Francisco bar scene
0
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010 at 8:56 AM UTC
A dog so diseased it chews its own tail
Josie was ur everyday ***** strolling 3rd & Lenox;                          she could get fifty from                                         a yuppy on a weekday                       & easily bring in $1,000 a weekend+frills & bennies;                      the                                                                kid dropped out of the high school   where                              Josie used to teach & made a date for that Wednesday             & knocked her up; now they're                                              doing okay; he sells Insurance & she's driving a Lexus; kicking  [talk about good for each other;                 it's like the kid had had a vision; &                       the kids all collegiate        jocks w/ attitude;                                                                [the oldest a lesbian; smack                                        long ago; Josie is  ur average housewife
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Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 1:04 AM UTC
Josie & the kid
Our relationship has blossomed from a bud to a flower Don't even wanna think about what I'd do without her You can put anything between because I'd move a tower Even time couldn't seperate because I'd move a hour Words don't mean nothin to her cuz her mind holds her power She listens to a mans heart and now mines gettin louder Love scares alot of ****** and she ain't attracted to that she said it's so easy to find her a coward. But we gon fall in love at least that's how it seeming Don't care if it's 10 minutes or a day, she just wanna see me And i just wanna see her, hold her and never leave her I really think He delivered her right up out of Eden On a bright day she will have a ***** gleaming On a gloomy day she'll pull a ***** out of greiving Her looks are so killer I sware it should be a treason But her brains hold her real beauty cuz she be thinking so collegiate I look into her eyes and see nothin but potential She look into mines and see nothin but credentials We kno about the past and all the other **** we been through That's why the potential and credantials are official She say never been like this about anybody I say Im always like this about everybody That's why I tell her that I can't trust anybody She just say no you can't trust everybody Well I trust her and hopefully she trust me Because if she do trust me I consider myself lucky Because you are everything I wanna see In you heart and on your mind is exactly where I wanna be
0
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010 at 12:46 PM UTC
Face-off
"cease fire" spouts microphone, hot blood on tongue, the wheels whirl, dramamine for my ex-girlfriends, dramamine for my future binge-- will this time do? "listen, listen", nah-- there's a war on, we've got **** to do, dramamine for the foothills of Dakota, dramamine for the brothels of Orleans, will I make the sun? the vultures feast prematurely, the death masque, the collegiate, the ******* and the cry-- dramamine for the funeral singer, dramamine for the swollen shrapnel, let's just wait for the savior.
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Apr 13, 2011
Apr 13, 2011 at 10:21 PM UTC
mourning stream on 86th and Western
No doorknobs exist on this floor. I can't find any outlets. The belt that lady--I didn't mean to disappoint--bought me is coiled, surrounded by Tupperware walls. A nurse checked herself in. No affect; asking for charge; reset. I'm twenty and letting down my dad. My belt used to live at JC Penny and has navy-outlined bass on it. One of the counselors is black, from Africa, was adopted, moved here to be raised by two JP Morgan lifers, played collegiate soccer, married, got pregnant, lost the boy--which he said he had a feeling it would have been. So, he can relate. No doorknobs exist on this floor. I am twenty and this exists in the past. Wheeling in due to an inability to walk --totally her brain's fault; a real former- controllable, current-uncontrollable thing that her mind pulled on her, on account from the cold, Vaseline touch of a relative --this redheaded girl pretends to smile before apologizing for pretending to smile. Our black counselor, former soccer player and father says to not apologize and that we are all pretending, all the time, even when we don't think we are. I find this strangely comforting.
0
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 3:09 AM UTC
When I Was Twenty, I Existed
"heaven's really crowded," peter said to me over black coffee on Maple Street while we watched the kings and counselors in collegiate sweaters lose all their religion like we'd lost ours. it fell like hailstones— they all flipped their collars up and their heads down; we looked cozy in the window and we laughed like we weren't freezing too. "this weather's crazy," he shook his head and rubbed his hands together for the friction; "hellfire looks better every day." we smiled and put our gloves back on to revel in our endless earthly cold. quietly we weighed his words and decided they were heavy; we lit a cigarette to share, blew the smoke up at the holy high school dance and said with youthful vehemence, "god ****
0
May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 10:40 PM UTC
Peter (11/2010)
you ******* with your smirk and your bow tying fingers and your ****** classic ******* rock music: who let you in here, to lumber about the lambs like Putin and Crimea ?? why do you bother introducing sophomores to Oedipus and pronouncing the center O (like it ******* matters; linguistics are more organic than carbon-based chemistry) or teaching seniors of Two Vast & Trunkless Legs of Stone standing alone in the desert, artifice of arrogance just as graduation and self-congratulatory partying and revelry and diploma-framing. I think I know: masochism is your middle name, and maybe, after all, it is worth it, when a collegiate who barely remembers your face and never remembered the color of your eyes, or his homework, name drops Hemingway and Faulkner to a college professor, blossoming an argument, and later, a companionship. maybe, after all, it is worth it.
0
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 11:38 AM UTC
Kevin Hugh
A hawk is hatched in the harlequin hush inside the walls of library books in their incendiary shelves incline invitingly in carnal stories in words that leave us billowing smoke in scenes of innuendo... A bird of prey in flight even in a stationary perch, he is a glorious sight eyes full of limpid thoughts, & search, levitating litany like taboo thrown across the room questions and detours from his gaze uphoric pheremonal ***** My ***** is in a penury of vigor, my skin / proving red-rushed weaknesses for just his adonis sight for just one fantasy night... The humid walls, with their olden and unbiased silences attend my quickened qualms attend my entirety of suddenly needing to be caught in his talons' violences craving to be the meal ~ in a hawk's sight, flesh ripped in lushious strips to be inside his mouth, to feel my digestion... We match growling stares, feel the quicksilver pulse, hesitation and realization the super nova flares heating my middle, hardening my fiddle creating new sensations and worlds of wicked inflections a warm nest to rest, after the S                          E                          X... A nervous breath, as he stands abducting his hardbound knowledge odyssies in exquisite arms a twinkle in his bestial-brown eyes a pause, for crumbs to be sprinkled on the path to reprise, a piece of paper with a numeric surpise; a name: "ANGEL" flashing collegiate goods, an endangered understanding a naughty smile--a young mouth, and i am a V-formation heading for warmer south... A hawk is hatched from the harlequin hush of the Flamingo Library, i am ready to fly beyond loneliness and February, catch urgency's godspeed to Angel in the tradewinds of our testosterone his invitation scribbled on a corner piece of notes i am guessing / i'm in control i am the words unspoken in these pages, in dusty scrolls in the volumes on the walls our endangered understanding If he is there and nothing's there... still must follow my volcanic hopes meandering so to speak that entangling his and mine / tongue... how like a hawk in Spring i am sprung... (and understanding how endangered I become)
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Dec 25, 2015
Dec 25, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
ENDANGERED UNDERSTANDING (Spoken Word #3)
A hawk is hatched in the harlequin hush inside the walls of library books in their incendiary shelves incline invitingly in carnal stories in words that leave us billowing smoke in scenes of innuendo... A bird of prey in flight even in a stationary perch, he is a glorious sight eyes full of limpid thoughts, & search, levitating litany like taboo thrown across the room questions and detours from his gaze uphoric pheremonal ***** My ***** is in a penury of vigor, my skin / proving red-rushed weaknesses for just his adonis sight for just one fantasy night... The humid walls, with their olden and unbiased silences attend my quickened qualms attend my entirety of suddenly needing to be caught in his talons' violences craving to be the meal ~ in a hawk's sight, flesh ripped in lushious strips to be inside his mouth, to feel my digestion... We match growling stares, feel the quicksilver pulse, hesitation and realization the super nova flares heating my middle, hardening my fiddle creating new sensations and worlds of wicked inflections a warm nest to rest, after the S                          E                          X... A nervous breath, as he stands abducting his hardbound knowledge odyssies in exquisite arms a twinkle in his bestial-brown eyes a pause, for crumbs to be sprinkled on the path to reprise, a piece of paper with a numeric surpise; a name: "ANGEL" flashing collegiate goods, an endangered understanding a naughty smile--a young mouth, and i am a V-formation heading for warmer south... A hawk is hatched from the harlequin hush of the Flamingo Library, i am ready to fly beyond loneliness and February, catch urgency's godspeed to Angel in the tradewinds of our testosterone his invitation scribbled on a corner piece of notes i am guessing / i'm in control i am the words unspoken in these pages, in dusty scrolls in the volumes on the walls our endangered understanding If he is there and nothing's there... still must follow my volcanic hopes meandering so to speak that entangling his and mine / tongue... how like a hawk in Spring i am sprung... (and understanding how endangered I become)
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♫ _”Stood I where you, now starry and new, Brylcreemed and cherished, view those who have perished; The collegiate adorned, on Founder’s Day mourned, Old souls with young dreams, bright plans and mad schemes; Three from the left, that’s me with the clef, A musician’s award, bestowed by the Board; Prized above all, before the Great War, Took hearing and sight, an aesthete’s blight; For a whisper apart, is the end from the start, What remains of the day, nowt but shadows that play; On this side of the glass, through which you will pass, At the lone piper’s call, when dusk it doth fall.”_
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Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 3:42 AM UTC
Carpe Diem| Legacy: Part III
Exam! Exam! Exam! There is pin drop silence! Some are tensed and some are worried School children think Life will be pink When school is over Then life will hover Collegiate thinks when course is over Life will be broader Exams will be over! Job seeker thinks When competative exam is clear Every thing is merrier Exams will be over! Now toughest exam of life start It is not only your part It makes you cart Whom to merry Whom to carry This exam is like three legged race You cannot run, fear to fall You cannot stop, fear to lost Life goes on, Exams goes on No end! No full stop! If you clear exam of marriage No need to merry Most fearful exam Your children's exam They keeps you on toes They make you froze Life goes on If you pass through it Children will take your exam How will you bring up their children? Otherwise they will make you villian How will you help them to make merry? Give them money to eat cherry For whom you will make will? Otherwise all waste your skills If you pass their exam it's fine Otherwise time will bend your spine Life goes on! Exams carry on! Life goes on! Life scaring on! Last exam of life You may loose your spouse You may have to live in lonely house No exam on death bed No exam can you dread No worries for bread No exam in grave yard No question will bombard No exam in cremation ground No wish to be crowned Exams Full Stop!
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Sep 17, 2024
Sep 17, 2024 at 3:23 AM UTC
EXAM
we'll feel- as collegiate corners are filling the pages of our tragedies. i attempt to seek next century's repose: the motion of a thousand spinning conjectures. your restlessness holds junction and duration, consciously screaming of our former years. i'll seek- you in oscillations and what little you left of memory.
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Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 12:25 AM UTC
what little you
Hit ceiling Lost meaning Left seething Consider stealing Ponder cheating Still reeling Voided feeling Departed dreaming Two word storms Collegiate dorms Social norms Convoluted forms Sporadic breathing Quite revealing Layers peeling No concealing Forgotten healing Basic dealing Still demeaning Is my unpaid heating
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Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 12:50 PM UTC
Miller's Crossing Seems Blocked
It ends, fast and fragile the same way it started. You get your handshake, you get your piece of paper and your four sentences worth of memories that add up to a fifteen-second walk across a stage.   All the important people say they're proud of you, all your friends- all your friends of friends say they'll miss you. You toast them to a new beginning; you smile your way into a new place. Everything is different now, four years go by and when it's over it all hits you at once. Nothing is the same anymore, everything has changed. Now you must grow up, the celebration ends, the milestone passes, now you must move on.
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Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 10:04 PM UTC
Collegiate
"Love me baby, love me." Oh that's it! A little to the right. Oh you've got it! God **** I wish you didn't put the chocolate so ******* high. Sometimes a girl needs her sweets, you know? Never mind my expanding waistline. I have no one to impress, right baby? Wow I'm so glad I have someone as big and strong as you to reach these things off the high shelves. Now finish up so I can put some clothes on. I've got errands to run.
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May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 3:33 AM UTC
Sunday Morning in Chateau Collegiate Sexpals
To compensate for (A -Z) ineradicable alphanumeric character flaws (i.e. mutations of body or mind,) and avoid amass sing wracking up vexatiously undesirable threatening class action lawsuit against Matthew Scott Harris, which preliminary measure taken to avoid disembarrass sing said individual as a majorly flawed individual literal shortcomings of body, mind and spirit, the metier of writing doth encompass a creative realm to trump geomorphology, sans groundmass at the unsolicited expense (mine alter ego i.e. worst critic) will gleefully find, and expose grammatical, misspelling, spelling, et cetera errors to harass glommed together with isinglass hop, skip and jumping to appear as a ******* whereat no respect able collegiate lass would give a fig about me, one totally tubular royal morass, which expert anthropologists stumped asper nonclass if eye able **** sapiens mutant ninja turtle case in point being his wanting in height not e'en pass sing the six foot mark plus mental illness perhaps traceable to besotted cognitive damage inherited predecessors quaffing an overdose of quass made obvious peering at resulting Ct scan results viewed via microscopic spyglass revealing abnormal amygdala automatically designating his aptitude underclass among average human with mettlesome Zeusian brass.
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Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
Lurching Toward Grammatical Perfectionism
I. It feels like an itch beneath her skin, like static electricity, like all her hairs on end, and she loves it. She knows that if she would only spread her fingers and say the words, she knows that if she were to close her eyes and open them again, the world would be in colors that no one else could see. She knows that if she would only let it free, it would spark and be euphoric- her hand clenches into a fist. she ignores it. II. Her spellbooks are stacked haphazardly in boxes and her shelves are full of YA fiction. She does not go into the attic anymore. She lets them collect dust. She does not pour over old latin phrases or study greek for any other reason than to read Homer. She concentrates on Biblical Greek. A silver cross hangs around her neck. Her notebooks of tediously written translations are scattered to the winds. They are replaced with collegiate notes and short stories.She is a scholar. Her curiosity is never sated. She does not go into the attic. III. Sometimes she wakes up five feet from her bed, her nose brushing the ceiling. Sometimes she’ll feel the wind and clouds pick up her emotions. Sometimes she hears the whispers of the dead. But they are whispers. Her prayers are louder. She closes her eyes and grasps at control, waiting until the forecast is correct again. She clutches her golden cross and tearfully waits until her back hits mattress. It will pass it will pass it will pass. IV. She studies more now than she ever had. The girl who’d been able to get by on lectures alone is no longer satisfied with a B/C average. She hones her writing skill until it is sharp as a blade. She beats her pen to paper as though it can lead her to salvation as well as The Good Book. Sometimes she falls asleep at her desk and her papers float around her. She buys more paperweights. V. The future is shadows and whispers. No longer do other people’s auras paint her vision with colors no one else can see. No longer do other people’s deaths and loved ones press themselves behind her eyes. No longer does she peer into souls that only stare back. They blur together like retired nightmares. She does not hear their voices. She does not see their faces. Her vision is only 20/20.
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Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 7:23 PM UTC
High Priestess
I. It feels like an itch beneath her skin, like static electricity, like all her hairs on end, and she loves it. She knows that if she would only spread her fingers and say the words, she knows that if she were to close her eyes and open them again, the world would be in colors that no one else could see. She knows that if she would only let it free, it would spark and be euphoric- her hand clenches into a fist. she ignores it. II. Her spellbooks are stacked haphazardly in boxes and her shelves are full of YA fiction. She does not go into the attic anymore. She lets them collect dust. She does not pour over old latin phrases or study greek for any other reason than to read Homer. She concentrates on Biblical Greek. A silver cross hangs around her neck. Her notebooks of tediously written translations are scattered to the winds. They are replaced with collegiate notes and short stories.She is a scholar. Her curiosity is never sated. She does not go into the attic. III. Sometimes she wakes up five feet from her bed, her nose brushing the ceiling. Sometimes she’ll feel the wind and clouds pick up her emotions. Sometimes she hears the whispers of the dead. But they are whispers. Her prayers are louder. She closes her eyes and grasps at control, waiting until the forecast is correct again. She clutches her golden cross and tearfully waits until her back hits mattress. It will pass it will pass it will pass. IV. She studies more now than she ever had. The girl who’d been able to get by on lectures alone is no longer satisfied with a B/C average. She hones her writing skill until it is sharp as a blade. She beats her pen to paper as though it can lead her to salvation as well as The Good Book. Sometimes she falls asleep at her desk and her papers float around her. She buys more paperweights. V. The future is shadows and whispers. No longer do other people’s auras paint her vision with colors no one else can see. No longer do other people’s deaths and loved ones press themselves behind her eyes. No longer does she peer into souls that only stare back. They blur together like retired nightmares. She does not hear their voices. She does not see their faces. Her vision is only 20/20.
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