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"cheetos" poems
We are a global society When we want oranges in the fruit bowl, When we want out of our rut Just long enough To brown in a patch of Spanish sun. We are a global society When the Japanese car breaks down And we are in need of a cheap fix To keep food on the table, Some Latvian mechanic Who helps us find our way home. We are our own nation, An island nation, When the zeroes run low And there are spaces, Foreign faces, To which we can point And blame. We are a global society With our sweat-shop chic, American coffee chains Selling Colombian ground beans, Frappuccinos in plastic cups- Made in China And served by a Romanian barista In Italian heels. We are a global society When the demand is high And the payment is low. We are our own nation, An island nation, When hands reach out for help And our pockets are too shallow, Our time, too brief To commit to a unity We feel is dragging us down. We are a global society When the football is on, When the lager is Belgian And the supermodel, Greek. When we cradle that bag of Cheetos After smoking too much **** We are a global society When oppression is overt, Caricatured in bulletin posters, Threatening to land Upon our own front door. We are our own nation, An island nation, When poverty seems contagious, When we have to clean up Someone else’s mess, Still we scar the Middle East Only half-interested in an exit. We are a global society When we get sick, When we borrow another doctor For our ailing NHS. When cities of white people burn, We are a global society, When Africa is divided, We are nowhere to be seen. Prime mover of the commonwealth Yet we fall beneath the breadline And living easy is so rare. We are our own nation, An island nation, Under the false flag Of a golden age We were conned to believe in. Our nation, our island nation, Lost amongst a sea of misinformation.
0
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 25, 2016 at 6:50 PM UTC
Great Britain
We are a global society When we want oranges in the fruit bowl, When we want out of our rut Just long enough To brown in a patch of Spanish sun. We are a global society When the Japanese car breaks down And we are in need of a cheap fix To keep food on the table, Some Latvian mechanic Who helps us find our way home. We are our own nation, An island nation, When the zeroes run low And there are spaces, Foreign faces, To which we can point And blame. We are a global society With our sweat-shop chic, American coffee chains Selling Colombian ground beans, Frappuccinos in plastic cups- Made in China And served by a Romanian barista In Italian heels. We are a global society When the demand is high And the payment is low. We are our own nation, An island nation, When hands reach out for help And our pockets are too shallow, Our time, too brief To commit to a unity We feel is dragging us down. We are a global society When the football is on, When the lager is Belgian And the supermodel, Greek. When we cradle that bag of Cheetos After smoking too much **** We are a global society When oppression is overt, Caricatured in bulletin posters, Threatening to land Upon our own front door. We are our own nation, An island nation, When poverty seems contagious, When we have to clean up Someone else’s mess, Still we scar the Middle East Only half-interested in an exit. We are a global society When we get sick, When we borrow another doctor For our ailing NHS. When cities of white people burn, We are a global society, When Africa is divided, We are nowhere to be seen. Prime mover of the commonwealth Yet we fall beneath the breadline And living easy is so rare. We are our own nation, An island nation, Under the false flag Of a golden age We were conned to believe in. Our nation, our island nation, Lost amongst a sea of misinformation.
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72
My words are not my own, Nor do they belong to my totem frog Which hippity hops His way trough my life, Guiding me towards a metamorphosis, From drunkard To enlightened. He (I) sure am taking his time, But should/could this journey be rushed? My poems are not the caw of the crow and/or raven, She does not sing a song so beautiful that I am moved to purge it least it take up too much of the spare space I have inside of me. She is my spirit guide, Turn this way, choose that one (with the pretty smile which makes you ever so nervous), Do not wear that ridiculous outfit, Don't even think of- Too late, now live with the repercussions, idiot. A ****** of voices. My muse tickles my lust and embraces my love But is neither. She/he dons many faces none of which I have ever seen. Whimsical ***** ******* of emotional release I do not know you! I write your words as they come into my head. Or I would, If I could keep up with your maniacal laughter; You spew nonsense rapid fire, child slaying zombies with Cheetos stained fingers, And with all the elegance therein. Yet, I am thankful indeed.
0
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 12:59 PM UTC
My Muse
there once was a nerd, in his pastime he led a pony herd and drank mountain dew while his patchy mustache grew, he fingered a bag or three of Cheetos and studied tuxedoes, but the point i try to point is the point that this nerd was a sir, true and fair, and how dare you put him, leave him, in the grim grim world of the friend zone?! now pick up your phone and call that mountain dew can armor wearing amour back into your life and be his wife because *** is only for the married.
0
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
A Nice Guy: Dr Seuss Inspired Meme Poem (draft)
but I am a different kind of adventurous. even if I only dance with others, or hit whistle notes with Brett, even if Joe's the only one I'd kiss without a single regret I love long car rides, I'll take your shift, I'll let you sleep an extra two hours I love the smell of sunscreen and graham crackers and how I've been sitting in these shorts for too long that there has to be a sweat stain. I don't know, have you ever had cheetos at a rest-stop before Modesto? We'd make it to Santa Cruz on time. I may not climb the Himalaya's with you, or go to Paraguay because I'm afraid of chronic diarrhea, but I am so much more than my fears. Have you ever had cheetos at a rest-stop before Modesto?
0
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 10:59 PM UTC
A Thousand Interestings.
The trick with flaming hot Cheetos Is to eat all that you want  Before you drink any water. If you eat some, and then drink, And then eat some more, Your stomach will be an ocean  With breakers crashing to and fro On the banks of your inner shores. It will not feel nice, so make sure To follow this advice; for I am, when It comes to Cheetos, an old man who Has for learned from my many years  Of eating one way, and eating the other. And I have found the better of the two, So heed my authority.
0
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 18, 2016 at 7:32 PM UTC
Flaming Hot Cheetos
Arrive in a neighborhood not mine. Phoenix sun splits the mailboxes, Cracked cement, bald lawns, deflated kiddie pools, sippy cups gone brittle in the sun. A toddler screams until a sibling gathers him inside. Helios whips his chariot down the street, steals my parking space. White Shell Woman hushes the child with a wind of cool dust. I buy donuts, Cheetos, pickles- eat them in the car. Gas station sink, hair and grit. I scrub off orange powder. Kokopelli swings from the paper towel rack, flicking drops of water onto my face, flirting, laughing at my small hungers. Cemetery, sitting on the hood. Graves hum in the heat. Yours more-so. Hecate steps from the shadow of a mesquite, offers me three paths, none of them home. Coyote pads along the stone wall, head cocked, grin sharp, watching my pulse quicken. White Shell Woman whispers: _Run._ The blood in me stirs- knife-bright, restless. I step off the hood, already fleeing toward any other life.
0
Aug 2, 2025
Aug 2, 2025 at 12:44 PM UTC
White Shell Woman Whispers
I ate a whole bag of cheetos one at a time, savoring each cheesy bite, and watched two seasons of South Park as my friend tried to hit a vein. **** man. I got little ones, they keep rolling.* It took her hours. Forearm Shins Wrists Other arm Calfs "What the **** man, why even ******* bother? Why not just smoke it like everyone else?" ******* tweakers* She says the high is worth it. *That rush, man. Holy **** But really, no matter how **** they are, or used to be, nobody likes a spun out tweaker ***** Nobody
0
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 6:36 PM UTC
If at first you don't succeed
Walkin' thru the grocery store section, To that aisle, yeah, it's not just con-cession... Turn every crunch into Hea-ven, -yeah (Oh, you are...) Crun-chee on the coldest day Taste buds explode, every, 'kind-of-way' Make me wanna savor every moment of cheese-y, slow-ly You pleasure me, my taste, taste buds, you put it on! Got the taste-y, know how to turn it on... The way I nibble on a pair, a clutch of fried corn, not an ear... I take it easy, baby, so we can last long! Oh! you, you feel crunchy 'in-my-mouth,' salivated, not full... Mouth like tasting, like an, an amazing plan Feel your taste, my mouth a pulse-Oh! Oh, yeah -Ya, ya me in store aisle, so nor-mal Tostitos and Doritos, I say No Mas! And so, no chip will, will replace you! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Please respect, it's just Cheetos, No, no, I don't want no Doritos! No matter what you ask it's not Dorit-o-os! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Nothing taste quite like Cheetos, No Tostitos, no Doritos, nor a burrito. I sound Spanish or Latin when I end words in a -oh, Oh, OH YEAH, Oh-o... When I end my words in 'O' Sounds like I know Something like, I'm not loco? Cheetos brands, -favoritos (Favorito, favorito, ba-by) Morning I don't like to 'Eat-oh' Breakfast, eggs or -gritos Instead I woof, -the Cheetos! And know I voted, twice for Obam-ma, Didn't even have, -American Mom-ma! Car tires, Yoko-hama... Back to my Latin voice, now, Oh-o... You say to get that face and taste -eh he bang-bang You say why doesn't it explodo like me mi bang-bang? For me those chips you know there is no other No question, fill your mouth, tongue, smother Yo no other makes me sing it so suave Impressive crunchy, disputes 'saliv-eh' Pass it to, pass it too, suave to cheese oh? No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos Put that bag back in front, me, I'll destroy ya Stop being malicious or I'll destroy yah! Pass it to, pass it too, suave cause it Cheetos, No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos You want friends you better break out cheesus There's no other way now to please us! Oye! crunch Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! When I end my words in 'O' Sounds like I know I know... Something like, I'm not TA-CO? Cheetos brands, -'favor-AH-ri-tos' (Favorito, favorito, ba-by) Morning I don't like to eat no Breakfast, eggs or -gritos Instead I woof, -some Cheetos! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! This is how we do it up in Long Island,  boroughs, No tacos, burritos and no churros all we ever want is those Cheetos! Ay-o no burrito Pass it to, pass it too, suave to cheese oh? No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos Put that bag back in front, me, I'll destroy ya Stop being malicious or I'll destroy yah! Pass it to, pass it too, suave cause it Cheetos, No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos You want friends you better break out cheesus There's no other way now to please us! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS!
0
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017 at 9:00 PM UTC
Des Puh -CHEETOS(remɪx)
Walkin' thru the grocery store section, To that aisle, yeah, it's not just con-cession... Turn every crunch into Hea-ven, -yeah (Oh, you are...) Crun-chee on the coldest day Taste buds explode, every, 'kind-of-way' Make me wanna savor every moment of cheese-y, slow-ly You pleasure me, my taste, taste buds, you put it on! Got the taste-y, know how to turn it on... The way I nibble on a pair, a clutch of fried corn, not an ear... I take it easy, baby, so we can last long! Oh! you, you feel crunchy 'in-my-mouth,' salivated, not full... Mouth like tasting, like an, an amazing plan Feel your taste, my mouth a pulse-Oh! Oh, yeah -Ya, ya me in store aisle, so nor-mal Tostitos and Doritos, I say No Mas! And so, no chip will, will replace you! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Please respect, it's just Cheetos, No, no, I don't want no Doritos! No matter what you ask it's not Dorit-o-os! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Nothing taste quite like Cheetos, No Tostitos, no Doritos, nor a burrito. I sound Spanish or Latin when I end words in a -oh, Oh, OH YEAH, Oh-o... When I end my words in 'O' Sounds like I know Something like, I'm not loco? Cheetos brands, -favoritos (Favorito, favorito, ba-by) Morning I don't like to 'Eat-oh' Breakfast, eggs or -gritos Instead I woof, -the Cheetos! And know I voted, twice for Obam-ma, Didn't even have, -American Mom-ma! Car tires, Yoko-hama... Back to my Latin voice, now, Oh-o... You say to get that face and taste -eh he bang-bang You say why doesn't it explodo like me mi bang-bang? For me those chips you know there is no other No question, fill your mouth, tongue, smother Yo no other makes me sing it so suave Impressive crunchy, disputes 'saliv-eh' Pass it to, pass it too, suave to cheese oh? No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos Put that bag back in front, me, I'll destroy ya Stop being malicious or I'll destroy yah! Pass it to, pass it too, suave cause it Cheetos, No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos You want friends you better break out cheesus There's no other way now to please us! Oye! crunch Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! When I end my words in 'O' Sounds like I know I know... Something like, I'm not TA-CO? Cheetos brands, -'favor-AH-ri-tos' (Favorito, favorito, ba-by) Morning I don't like to eat no Breakfast, eggs or -gritos Instead I woof, -some Cheetos! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! This is how we do it up in Long Island,  boroughs, No tacos, burritos and no churros all we ever want is those Cheetos! Ay-o no burrito Pass it to, pass it too, suave to cheese oh? No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos Put that bag back in front, me, I'll destroy ya Stop being malicious or I'll destroy yah! Pass it to, pass it too, suave cause it Cheetos, No want your Doritos, doritos, ha doritos You want friends you better break out cheesus There's no other way now to please us! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS! Des Puh -CHEE-TOS!
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83
fell into a hole of myself-- i know too much a bag of cheetos in an ill-fitting suit runs the country - made the mistake of reading what it had to say awhile ago all in the stirring of a feather my ego, my ignorance smattering albiet aggressively in an annoying aggregate, dog-bark bird-squacking grating my effing ears these 7am mornings
0
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 9:55 PM UTC
i annoy myself, ha ha ha
Babe you are worse than late night **** Sinful like fried chocolate cake Ironic like chicken and waffles with a diet coke Or using lard based dressing on a salad You bad Like menudo without lime Like hot cheetos to my kidneys My desire for you is like: That nostalgia you feel like a lump in your chest The first time you smoked **** The first time you came The first time you fell in love I’m sad cuz you ain’t here And glad you’re far away.
0
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 11:48 AM UTC
Late Night ****
Sometimes There is no poetry Playing Far Cry 3 Getting cheeched Unlocking cheivos Eating mac and cheese 4 monsters Yo! MICROWAVE BURRITOS! Chop sticks and cheetos You need those To keep your controller clean
0
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 14, 2012 at 11:35 PM UTC
Chopstix and Cheetos
The garbage in my room Smells like embarrassment It’s the hot Cheetos bag that sits in my desk It’s the q-tips with earwax The ideas that float around in my head And my roommates toenail clippings The garbage in my room Clutters the free space Taking up room that it should not take The shopping bags and boxes That held beautiful things Now empty and cumbersome The garbage in my room Takes up my memory Forgotten blog posts and poems Fill the hard drive in my brain Silly thoughts and quips Only attempt to clear it out The garbage in my room Sits in the can Thinking of ways to grow Out of proportion Waiting to spill out onto the floor And start crawling up the walls The garbage in my room Needs to be taken out.
0
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 2:19 PM UTC
Time to Clean up.
WALKING FLAMING CHEETOS Family intention It’s amazing what one can accomplish with a little love, a pocket knife and soft words. Frogs and crickets sing as rain drops fall. I wasn’t creditable she wrote. Looking ignorant optimisms make you.  No water, just the tracks of a girl becoming a lady. The irony of that is just breathtaking. Bear hugs, dancing on my feet, being her personal jungle gym and hot limon crunchy flamin Cheetos. Science might contest the will, putting the blame on me As mommy's kisses save the day
0
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 4:52 PM UTC
Kit WALKING FLAMIN' CHEETOS
Cause we all need a little humor in our lives: Cheetos and coffee can't let these assignments stop me cause it's a hard knock life being a student tryin' to get it right protestin' those late nights and drownin' in the red bull, give me wings & prepare my *** for finer things
0
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC
if I were a Rapper....
Deep inside the heart collides With the majesty that is the sun. And polyps grow on feet below - Where the grandeur is forced to shun. Grey gritty gravel gets jammed Between my toes, And flies through a rolled up twenty To stay wedged far in my nose. If sinus’s are clogged like pours, Scratched by a Cheetos finger, The rocks get stuck and Id mocks While the crush starts to linger; Numbs the cavity where inside lives A thousand hungry hippies Sitting still until they see A cloud up on a water lily. So set out to feed their queen bee Whom lives inside the skull (And) demands, commands, yearns and pleads To feel that numbing null.
0
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 8:31 PM UTC
Neurotransmitter's Log #359.12
This is Almost all. Cereal. 12 bites chocolate koala crispies Chris along with some horizon fat-free organic milk but again 12 bytes. Short stack flapjacks Safeway maple syrup drenching it. Patrick's IRA send it One hot fudge sundae from McDonald's one half bite of hot fudge. Six bytes of salsa recipe. Four microwaved Chinese potstickers Some HighC orange lovers I also ate Mark's soup 25 Cheetos Xcessive? I also ate some of my accent. One can Wolfgang Puck used as a base added some roasted breast chopped roughly 2 wings scanner on onion red rock refrigerator did an onion rings tile cut. Think I know I'm sorry sweetie they are kind.
0
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 12:50 AM UTC
What Chloe ate for Mayday 2014
We are talking about poetry He is restricted to a black stroller counting cheetos with cheese-dust coated fingers humming numbers, while his papa leans on his own crossed arms eyes closing for too long to be considered blinking Seven cheetos Let’s return to the poem on page 238 in the book now six cheetos and five and his father starts snoring
0
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
A Man Brought his Toddler to Class
oh, my god, stop praising little girls for being "tiny" and "slender" and "willowy" for being skinny. because the scale offers validation and eating cheetos and twizzlers and cookies and candy without gaining a pound becomes an accomplishment a sharp and boasting laugh ha, ha! i can eat all the **** i want and still be /skinny!/ because a girl will feel pride in her ballerina legs and bony joints and guilt in her best friend wishing she were as small. because "skinny" stops being an adjective and becomes a definition. because being skinny becomes owning stacks and stacks of size zero jeans but ******* and shimmying and squeezing your *** into them (god forbid you buy a size two.) skinny becomes looking flat in the midsection but only if you eat triscuits for lunch that day becomes seeing the outlines of individual ribs but grabbing with a grimace the layer of fat and skin that covers them becomes standing with legs spread apart and back tilted and eyes squinted and looking maybe kind of like a forever 21 model, until you sit and your thighs melt into huge endless expanses of tissue becomes avoiding the bathroom scale because you told yourself two years ago you'd never get above double digits. becomes knowing that most girls would **** for your body, or for the absence of your body - for the carved out spaces where flesh could be. becomes feeling guilty, feeling ridiculous, feeling ungrateful becomes never admitting to anyone that you feel anything but skinny.
0
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 7:38 PM UTC
skinny
oh, my god, stop praising little girls for being "tiny" and "slender" and "willowy" for being skinny. because the scale offers validation and eating cheetos and twizzlers and cookies and candy without gaining a pound becomes an accomplishment a sharp and boasting laugh ha, ha! i can eat all the **** i want and still be /skinny!/ because a girl will feel pride in her ballerina legs and bony joints and guilt in her best friend wishing she were as small. because "skinny" stops being an adjective and becomes a definition. because being skinny becomes owning stacks and stacks of size zero jeans but ******* and shimmying and squeezing your *** into them (god forbid you buy a size two.) skinny becomes looking flat in the midsection but only if you eat triscuits for lunch that day becomes seeing the outlines of individual ribs but grabbing with a grimace the layer of fat and skin that covers them becomes standing with legs spread apart and back tilted and eyes squinted and looking maybe kind of like a forever 21 model, until you sit and your thighs melt into huge endless expanses of tissue becomes avoiding the bathroom scale because you told yourself two years ago you'd never get above double digits. becomes knowing that most girls would **** for your body, or for the absence of your body - for the carved out spaces where flesh could be. becomes feeling guilty, feeling ridiculous, feeling ungrateful becomes never admitting to anyone that you feel anything but skinny.
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29
hold my mind it feels like soaked cheetos puffy and orange my feet are calloused with thought and i have been stringing along ties with too many people hold my head as i think about the men i meet in transition instability in the back of a kit kat bar and Los Angeles literature because disappointment bends the broken the soft cranium crunch split to be eaten but built to be shared hold my thoughts because im falling asleep in elevators no longer able to choose the floor save me from the ponder from putting bottle caps on shelves the gravity of my fingertips keeps lighting candles upside down creating limitless space and useless entities hold my belongings so my brain can breathe because unlike my mouth it cannot reach you are my deep breath pudding melted in my lungs ill have an affair with the Wonka man just to keep me from loving you he could store me in one of his rooms drown me with the a heavy chest of something dark and semisweet hold my body and steal my soul because i group anything you sphere and my life keeps changing all the love i need
0
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 4:06 AM UTC
im waiting for. you.
Honey. 12 bites chocolate koala crispies Chris along with some horizon fat-free organic milk but again 12 bytes. Short stack flapjacks Safeway maple syrup drenching it. Patrick's IRA send it 1 hot fudge sundae from McDonald's. 1/2 bite of hot fudge 4 bites soft serve. 6 bytes of salsa recipe. 4 microwaved Chinese potstickers some HighC orange lovers I create Mark's suit. 1 can Wolfgang Puck used as a base added some chicken ******* roasted chopped roughly Spoon cut. 2 wings 25 Cheetos Xcessive? I also ate my accent. Scan him some onion red rock ringed Reiterate Beings tile cut. Think I know I'm sorry sweetie they are kind Of sinking.
0
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
Freed Fried Pried Tribed
we were brave once but we were told to be sensitive and empathetic and walk a mile in another’s shoes and now ignorance is mistook for brilliance, and the only risks we take involves which flavor of cheetos we get from the gas station we were great once, I remind you
0
Dec 12, 2011
Dec 12, 2011 at 3:21 PM UTC
I'd swear but that'd be rude
Chasey calls them the dead mama blues. There's sadness, she says, mine has a scent to it; Despair, a shabby **** who mugs me under my covers On winter days at dawn, Catatonia, which only a messy bed,a bong,a bag of Cheetos and a boy can cure, And then way down from there, Squatting *** close to the ground, Smoking Gauloises in the dark, Live the dead mama blues. The only cure for the dead mama’s, Chasey explains, Is a blood rare steak and Etta James greatest hits on vinyl, Played quiet through the sweet spot of the night, All the lights off, the dishes done and dry. Helps if a sister has a slim hip man to dance with, she said, So if you ain’t runnin’, the grill’s on me. Come by sober any time after moon rise, Chasey yawned, Cause this girl could use a shoulder and a polite hand. And bring your slippers, she said Easier to shuffle over **** in sheepskin, plus We might go up on the roof later on And smoke some of my cubans for a while. Door will be open, so please don’t ring, Hell what am I saying, you know the path. Chasey yawned again, a big one, Waited a few seconds because there was nothing else to say And hung up the phone with a sigh.
0
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 9:33 AM UTC
Etta
put the key in the ignition, the car into drive, and all your gross post-sex insecurities to the back of your mind. forget you don’t have a license. forget she’s asleep in the bed that knows your panic attacks like they’re a late-night tv special and roll out onto the road - don’t hit the neighbor’s buick - drive. drive. take the route you used to sneak over to your boyfriend’s house in 7th grade. feel the ghosts of his hungry pubescent hands under your bra, get that old lump in your throat, wish you could go back in time and scream that you weren’t ready and that you’d never be ready and that one day you’ll be seventeen driving down his street hating the way he used to own you. remember that his street is also your street. remember that you’re worth owning things too. pass by the house your best friend used to live in, back when summers meant hot cheetos and horchata instead of cigarettes and cheap sangria. pray that one day you’ll be that way again, happy and fearless and okay with being alone. scold yourself for praying. forget where you’re going until your stomach growls and the road gets narrow. then keep driving.
0
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 12:48 PM UTC
how to drive in a straight line
A recent BBC Headline reads: US orders ban on trans-fats. In a day when fat-discrimination has been thought to have stopped, the US is discriminating against the fine and upstanding obese community. Eliminating trans-fats from food will save lives by preventing heart attacks, but it will also eliminate fat jokes, which will set back standup comedy for years to come. Health experts say that Americans continue to consume too much foods with trans-fats, even with trans-fats information labeled on food; in scientific studies done by Dr. Kazuo Takitani, research shows that Americans "Do Not Give A **** about their health due to entitlement and fatty privilege. Taking trans-fats out of food will reduce coronary heart disease, but it will also make fat people who are stupid more confident, not necessarily smarter. Supporters of French Fries have taken to the streets and are calling on President Obama to stop the War on trans-fats. The Obama administration has responded with a statement in regards to the trans-fat crisis, and have said, "Go To The Gym." Obese people are in danger of becoming skinny, and already the obese population of the United States, are hoarding Cheetos and pizza rolls in their ***** packs, in order to stop the madness. In this day and age, health is a choice, skinny and **** people, the ones who are supporting the ban on trans-fats, do not know the irreparable damage they are doing to the fat American white male, who's narrative will always be ingrained in the American consciousness. A chubby boy named Paulie was interviewed earlier today as he was eating French fries and a large soda: "The government doesn't care about Fat people. We deserve better treatment. We matter. We exist. How am I supposed to survive without Mickey D's fries? Do I look like I can exercise? I'm moving to Canada." When Paulie was informed that Canada was strongly thinking about following in the US's footsteps, Paulie suffered from food coma and passed out in his chair. The United States is slowly turning towards becoming healthy and fi; many people oppose this trend, while others embrace it; all that can be said is that change will shocking, can give some people a new perspective on life. Stay tuned for more details. Now here's Marcus with today's weather report.
0
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 1:45 AM UTC
Breaking Headline: A Must Read
A recent BBC Headline reads: US orders ban on trans-fats. In a day when fat-discrimination has been thought to have stopped, the US is discriminating against the fine and upstanding obese community. Eliminating trans-fats from food will save lives by preventing heart attacks, but it will also eliminate fat jokes, which will set back standup comedy for years to come. Health experts say that Americans continue to consume too much foods with trans-fats, even with trans-fats information labeled on food; in scientific studies done by Dr. Kazuo Takitani, research shows that Americans "Do Not Give A **** about their health due to entitlement and fatty privilege. Taking trans-fats out of food will reduce coronary heart disease, but it will also make fat people who are stupid more confident, not necessarily smarter. Supporters of French Fries have taken to the streets and are calling on President Obama to stop the War on trans-fats. The Obama administration has responded with a statement in regards to the trans-fat crisis, and have said, "Go To The Gym." Obese people are in danger of becoming skinny, and already the obese population of the United States, are hoarding Cheetos and pizza rolls in their ***** packs, in order to stop the madness. In this day and age, health is a choice, skinny and **** people, the ones who are supporting the ban on trans-fats, do not know the irreparable damage they are doing to the fat American white male, who's narrative will always be ingrained in the American consciousness. A chubby boy named Paulie was interviewed earlier today as he was eating French fries and a large soda: "The government doesn't care about Fat people. We deserve better treatment. We matter. We exist. How am I supposed to survive without Mickey D's fries? Do I look like I can exercise? I'm moving to Canada." When Paulie was informed that Canada was strongly thinking about following in the US's footsteps, Paulie suffered from food coma and passed out in his chair. The United States is slowly turning towards becoming healthy and fi; many people oppose this trend, while others embrace it; all that can be said is that change will shocking, can give some people a new perspective on life. Stay tuned for more details. Now here's Marcus with today's weather report.
Continue reading...
1