her

The day danced in woven sunlight on her skin
Through the blinds, trapped in time by baited promises
To stay until snow began to melt away- and when it did
She tripped on her word, loosened her grip cos’ it hurt
It never gets easier to watch the sunset fade
'n cast shadows in her shape
The day clasped onto dewy sidewalks where we used to lay
Until our barebacks burned from the concrete,
stomachs hurt from laughing
Never minded the way I felt sixteen
and full of color when you’d speak
I still remember the way it felt the first time
you leaned in and kissed me
And how you made me miss the bus
but I felt good enough that day
That I did not mind walking 26 miles
home with your jasmine taste in my brain

Clementine Eleos Nov 2017

Hibiscus kisses
Turned into dry rot
Crack in peeling paint
The nursery we made, together
Just 4 months before you went away
Without closing the door behind you
I spend my days in the living room
Where I felt love for the first time
Kissing you to my favorite album
The only light from the Juniper moon
Nothing else mattered then
And somehow, nothing else does now

Clementine Eleos Nov 2017

I miss cigarettes
And you
I’ve yet to get rid
of the sting in my throat
From either of the two

Clementine Eleos Nov 2017

Enchanted mattress
Empty, abandoned fortress
Now, since you left.
We used to cast spells here
last one felt more like a hoax
Why did you cut out my voice box
With the springs left in my spine?
Enchanted mattress
Hall light shines through the door in the cracks
Oh how I want you back with me, here
I miss your manipulating ways here
Enchanted mattress,
Who am I kidding?
You’re never coming back here
I miss your hands around my throat here
And I don’t know why
But I don’t sleep anymore

Clementine Eleos Oct 2017

If I use you
To cope with
the loneliness
what will I do
when you go away?


no one has ever stayed

Clementine Eleos Oct 2017

Love isn’t worth heartbreak anymore,
I’m sick of waking up in glass shards on the floor, when I was 16 I swore I’d never get so hurt in love that I had to find physical relief
But I look for you in every man I see
And every man that I let hit me

Clementine Eleos Oct 2017

I am
Tearing apart at seams
Somebody else crafted in me
Again I find myself empty
When someone leaves
I create this opportunity
With wandering doe eyes
And lead feet, you won’t break me
I plead as I scrounge for change to
Catch a cab home to see you
If you’re still there
It isn’t fair that
I was born with open hands for a brain
And you a curious carpenter built my house on land laid over a lake
I did not anticipate or prepare for this
Love is not frontline
You are not my lifeline
For the second time in my life
I must refine what it means to love
And what it means to hide shards of my spine so that I may be loved back
This time I sliced my front side open
Because you kissed me like I was not flawed
And then when I opened my mouth
A thousand bones fell out
And you ran off

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