It is indeed a **** or be killed world.
and i for one.
am tired of being slaughtered.

Not even reality can hold me
Gravity cannot stop my thoughts from floating elsewhere
Laws of physics do not apply to my dreams
Order is transformed into chaos
And the line between sanity and insanity
Blur

Depression is not a personality trait
Not being able to get out of bed is not quirky
Cutting off all your friends because you think they hate you is not fun
Wanting to. Succeed but not having the motivation is not #lazylife
Drug addicitons and cutting do not make you a beautiful disaster
And faking depression because you think it's romantic or edgy is disgusting
Thanks for coming to my ted-talk

I long for soft breezes and golden sunlight
Eating lunch perched on a tree branch
Running barefoot through meadows of fragrant wildflowers
Instead
I am sitting in a classroom
Listening to the sound of the ancient a\c hum
Under the fluorescent lights that cause headache behind my eyes
Watching the people around me go on about their lives
Because their content
I am not

I fell in love with life
And it broke my heart

I sleep on white fluffy blankets
And order starbucks without much worry
I wear nike shoes
And expensive jewlery
Yet everytime I look in the mirror I see little me
The one that slept on hardwood floors
And ate canned corn almost everyday
The one who didnt know how to wash her clothes and so instead wore them to school ***** and smelly
The one that stared at expensive jewelry from afar wishing it were mine
And so I feel like an imposter
A liar
At my university
of silver spooned baby's

I hate college
I hate my classmates
I hate my classes
I hate my extracurriculars
I hate my teachers
Why am I still here?
Because society tells me as a black female from a poor family im lucky to be here
The thing is though
I don't feel lucky
I feel trapped