Sun at its peak, everything outside is so bright,
but her room is giving a horrific sight.
She stands in front of mirror wearing his favorite dress.
Her reflection looks back at her, asking
"who are you?"
She touches her lips, closes her eyes.
"You're a freak and I love it. Can you be mine?"
She opens her eyes wide,
as woke up from a nightmare,
or maybe it was only a haunted memory.
But something is breaking inside.
She picks up lipstick, paints her lips red.
Looks damaged but but beautiful outside.

"I love you so much. You're the best thing happened to me. Stay with me forever. You're my life."
She walks towards the side table.
A suicide note is waiting there to get read.
Burning it with her lighter, she smiles.

"Why are you so depressed all time? What is bothering you?
Why you get this anxiety? You got me baby. Its all fine."
She turns and makes her calendar marked 6th of July.
Putting all pain behind,
she lefts a sigh of relief as if the beast,
that stalks her is duped forever.

"Why are you so possessive? I hate it.
How can you have a lot of Internet friendships but no friends in real? You gotta change yourself."
She walks through the door.
A new life is ahead her.

"No you don't have to change yourself this way. Don't be childish."
She is going down through stairs.

"There is nothing normal with you. You always exaggerate things. Sometimes I hate even myself to be with you."

Suddenly she hears a phone ring coming out of her room.
Her stomach drops.

"Things are not working out baby I'm sorry..."

She is going back to her room.

"We must get separated."

Her hands trembling, her heart making a one last wish.

"Why did you cut your wrist? I hate you even more now"

Mommy's text was there that she might get late today.

"You're a freak. Get out of my life."

She smashes her phone into mirror.
She is done with being all fine.
She is not going outside now to show the world that she is strong.
Her screams filling the room.
"I love you please come back."
But only echoes are there laughing back at her.
And here she goes
writing again a suicide note.

He smoke cigarettes,
not to make it look cool,
but to fade the pleasure of sins.
Sins that were made in heaven..
Heaven that belonged to a girl..
A girl with buttery skin and crystal eyes..
Eyes that never speak for lies..
Lies about love, lies about deceit..
But deceit is what he repeatedly received.
To let it go,
to make the effort not letting the past steal his present,
the past that he wants to forget,
and forget how her voice sounded,
to learn the lesson in a bitter way.
He smokes cigarettes.

I ended it to make things easier for you.

One instead of two,
but now I ache as I watch you both,
you've pulled away,
the distance increasing.

I know you didn't choose me,
but I chose you.

Even if only as a friend.

Sometimes love isn't what you need.

Remember that time
I told you I'd felt
like a plant recently?
I'd gone out
and soaked up some sun
after those dark winter months.
The feeling  is
the same when I think
of seeing you again.
To hear that sparkle of a voice
the light of your touch.
You are radiant,
and I a faithful stalk of green.

I knew of a girl
in a little green sweater
her eyes were bright
just like the weather
she came from a sunny place but
I slowly learned her insides were more of the rainy type
she said she had the emotional health of a cheese grater
I never really knew what to make of that-
it could be taken so many ways
but what I did know was
she was strong, soft, bold, and outspoken
she might've felt flimsy like aluminum and full of holes,
glass with little cracks to seep through,
but to me she was solid titanium that could shred through anything,
diamond with dangerous piercing points

I should've known
all this time
how I got over new friends
the hurt when you didn't tell me first
frothy anger when I found out about the first
trying to take your time, "protect you"  
overbearing
jealous
conceited
daydream about kissing you...
but we were friends
the first poem...
friends?
that night in November when I came to conclusion...
I felt we were- could be more than friends
you felt the same but
there was a second man already
and I had to put my delusion aside
and be happy for you
and for myself...